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My own little 'perfect storm'...


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They say by definition the perfect storm occurs when many things that are at odds with each other occur at the same time, I had my own little perfect storm at our last meeting.

As many of you know I am fairly new to the ASL congregation. I have a difficult time not only learning this new 'language' but not feeling like I want to take off running because all eyes must be focused upon you where they will know what you say. There are also many large TV monitors that reflect your appearance back to the audience. You must watch this monitor until you see yourself and that the camera guy has indeed focused you correctly in the frame. I will never get use to seeing myself on live cera in real time. It is very intimidating for me. Have you heard the lens adds 10pounds? It's an outright lie. It is as least 30#!!! Plus as a child I was always corrected by my mother not to talk with my hands--that is what our words are for. Already this is a lot for me to deal with for every comment.

Anyway, the conductor points at me to stand and comment. I stand with the sister seated next to me holding my mind mapping drawing up where I can glance at it and not loose my train of thought. (Mind mapping, another source of irritation for me because I want to use words not pictures)

So I catch a glimpse of myself on the three large monitors and look away towards the conductor and as I start signing I notice he is starting to have an awkward look on his face ( utto, I'm thinking to myself I am saying something way wrong and I don't know whether to continue or just sit down. Then his face is turning red and he is looking like he wants to laugh. I look down to my left to find my notes/photos and I see the sister holding the book looks like she is going to fall out of her chair with merriment. Now I super flustered and I nervously look at the monitor.

It seems my underwire stay of my bra I am wearing has definitely not 'stayed' and it has worked it's way through my sweater and between my who-who's and with every movement of my as it is thrusting that underwire up about 1/2 inch at a time. It was starting to curl around the top of my breast.

At first my mouth just dropped open because I had never seen it do that before. All sisters that have ever worn underwires know how painful

It can be when the wire breaks through on the side and pokes your underarm. I have even had it come through the middle but I never had on a sweater where it actually ce through the knit.

My mind went blank and I just sat down quickly in my chair. There were plenty of stifled laughs and some not so stifled. In fact the conductor and his wife were teasing me saying I looked like a snake charmer with that circular wire poking out then retreating then popping back out. It is very funny now but embarrassing at the time. But heh, I bought a custom fit bra today and forked over 110.00 for it! Should not have that probl again. I hope.

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Oh my goodness. I give you acclaims for courage, dear sister. Number one, you lived through it, number two, you were able to share it with us. Yes, we move on. The next catastrophe is awaiting the next victim, and then yours will just be history. Albeit, a bit entertaining. This tops my skirt in the panty hose incident. And, only because I had on black tights, and a black skirt. But I do a once over before leaving the ladies room.

But yours was real time. Pretty spectacular, I might add. Thanks for the chuckle. Not at you. With you!

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Oh Leslie, I love your true adventure story in the ASL school!   Your's wasn't as bad as an elder's wife who went to the ladies room at the District Convention, came out of the bathroom with toilet paper sticking out of her skirt all the way down the 3rd tier and go sit down in her seat.  Brothers, sister's were trying to point it out to her but she was in another world in her mind.  Finally her husband saw her while standing up to sing the 2nd (after lunch) song and without her knowing it removed the long long trail of toilet paper from her skirt.  I saw her there and tried to tell her myself, but hey, she was in her own world at that time.  Sometimes things happen! 

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Was her dress tail caught in her panty hose with no undies on? Been there-done that-have the T-shirt! There was a part on the next meeting about wearing under garments (talking about the men in the Bible). My heart t was beating so loudly in my ears I felt like they were signaling me out'. I always wear panties now!

I need to clarify--I wore underware if I did not wear stockings but I did not always wear them if I wore hose or tights.

Edited by LeslieDean
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Leslie, yes, the "barn door" is a real concern for us men .... but, not the only thing that can happen.

Some years go, when we were much younger, my brother came across an old rail-road crossing light. He thought it would be neat to use it in his bedroom, so he converted it to use a standart light bulb. It worked and his room had an interesting "red glow".

Well, one evening he was getting dressed for the meeting. He had rushed in from work, jumped through a shower and brely made it ready in time to leave. He had not turned his bedroom light on since he had enough light to see jus fine with the RR light.

When we got to the meeting, he looked down ..... surprise ...... seems black and brown shoes look the same color in red light. Yep, he had on one black shoe and one brown shoe - and, HE HAD A TALK ON THE SCHOOL!

For the next several meeting people talked about those shoes .... in a fun way. We still laugh about it now, from time to time.

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LOL loud John ..........but on the bright side he had another pair at home exactly the same .... I did that once identical heals navy pair and black pair in my rush to get to the meeting when I was running late did the exact same thing. Only noticed it when I bowed my head for the opening prayer. Thankfully no talk that evening.

I also had a friend who walked out of the washroom into the main part of the KH with a long strand of TP stuck to her shoe.

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Read the WT one day from the platform with the barn door open. Had a pair of pants with an extra hook along with the button to keep them closed instead of the normal button and then zip. I must have only had enough in me that day for only the usual two steps, and since the zipper was now third in the rotation, it was omitted. Nobody said anything, and I was so skinny back then that my suits draped off me, so chances are my error was covered by my suit jacket anyway.

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Since we're talking about embarrassing moments, mine happened about four years at my granddaughter's school.  It was grandparent's day and I wanted to make a good impression.  I had changed my clothes in hurry since I had a cleaning job that morning.  

 

When I got home, from the school I discovered I had on one white earring and one red one.  Then when I took off my jacket (which I recently purchased), I discovered the large price tag dangling under the sleeve. 

 

So much for making a good impression!

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I remember about 4 years ago I was having an "off" day. I just didn't feel good and it was a meeting night. I threw on what I thought would look ok to get me through. Oh dear, a clown looked better than I did. I had on green top with grey sweater and blue skirt with black nylons  and blue shoes and a red scarf to top it off. Luckily I had a blue rain coat, it helped. A sister who always looks like a fashion-ista gave me the stare-down. Oh well, at that time I was just happy to be at the meeting.

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Leslie, yes, the "barn door" is a real concern for us men .... but, not the only thing that can happen.

Some years go, when we were much younger, my brother came across an old rail-road crossing light. He thought it would be neat to use it in his bedroom, so he converted it to use a standart light bulb. It worked and his room had an interesting "red glow".

Well, one evening he was getting dressed for the meeting. He had rushed in from work, jumped through a shower and brely made it ready in time to leave. He had not turned his bedroom light on since he had enough light to see jus fine with the RR light.

When we got to the meeting, he looked down ..... surprise ...... seems black and brown shoes look the same color in red light. Yep, he had on one black shoe and one brown shoe - and, HE HAD A TALK ON THE SCHOOL!

For the next several meeting people talked about those shoes .... in a fun way. We still laugh about it now, from time to time.

Well, at least the cow did not get out..

That was actually meant for Mike/perspective!

Edited by LeslieDean
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I was the only sister in a car group. Sitting in the back seat. I noticed the barn door was open. One of the brothers in the front seat. I thought, he has his jacket on. No problem. Then, off came the jacket. I thought. I can involve someone else, (get a brother to mention it to him) or be a loving grown up. I choose the latter. I asked him if before he left, did his wife give him a good once over? He got the hint, and took care of business.

Me? Tee shirt on inside out. Totally wrong color skirt for top I had on, this ones good. I had put on a GREEN clay mask. Improve complexion. I visited around, at the hall, and a sister finally told me I had green on my face. 'twas a fact. Then the hair business. Once, my son, some six feet tall, said, "Mom, you have silver, black, and purple roots. Another truth. Ever heard of purple cellophane, sisters? Then the one that my hair dye that turned silver roots RED. Not innocent red. Fire engine red. I was visiting my daughter in San Diego when that lovely fact came out. But the one I like best, was my daughter in law telling me I had blue hair. I just laughed, and told her, "you know what they say about old ladies and blue hair". She said no, yours is, "punk rock blue. Gave it a look-see. She had a point. Life humbles us.

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Ohhhh, clay mask.that is a good one. I understand about caring shades if hair color.

A few years back a man ran up to my sister and me in a parking lot. He yanked open his coat and exposed himself to use. I was speechless. My sister calming said to him 'are you going fishing? I see you got your worm.' He became very angry and snapped his coat together and ran off. If you knew how quiet and shy my sister is you would never believe she said that.

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Leslie, I certainly feel for you. I have had my embarrassing moments at the hall but an incident that I thought "took the cake" was during the "District" (old terminology) convention and we had it in an auditorium. One of the sisters from our congregation had a main part in the drama. In a pretty intense part that she had, her half slip fell off!! Down around her ankles!! She calmly just stepped out of it, kicked it aside and went on like nothing had happened! If it had been me, I think I would have had a heart attack on the spot. I guess the saying is that if one had never seen it before, they wouldn't know what it was and if they had seen it before they wouldn't think anything of it!!

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Many years ago my shoestrap broke as I was stepping on to the platform to give a talk (I was about 14 years old, first pair of hand-me-down (platform) heels). Of course I fell, but tried to carry on. To make it more difficult, my householder couldn't stop giggling and my crush was sitting near the front of the hall.

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