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Jack and his wife Sue are shopping in their local supermarket.

The husband picks up a case of Heineken and puts it into their cart.

'What do you think you're doing?' asks Sue.

'They're on sale, only $15 for 24 cans' Jack replies.

'Put them back, we can't afford them' demands the wife, and so they carry on shopping.

A few aisles further on along Sue picks up a $30 jar of face cream and puts it in the basket.

'What do you think you're doing?' asks Jack.

'It's my face cream. It makes me look beautiful,' replies the wife.

Her husband retorts: 'So does 24 cans of Heineken and it's half the price,'

Jack never knew what hit him.

The next thing he heard  on the supermarket PA system was:

'Cleanup on aisle 19, we have a husband down.'

 

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Then there's the Winston Churchill story...

During the dark days of WW2 he was at a function, he had some drinks. As he was about to leave he bumped into one of the many society women there.

She turned to him and said, "Mr Churchill, you are drunk... very drunk!"

Winnie turned back to her and looked her up and down. "Madam," he began, "you are ugly. Very ugly. But, in the morning, I shall be sober!"

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