No-go areas in London?

[bohemian]

London in grip of bearded coffee fanatics

10-12-15

AREAS of London are effectively no-go zones unless you know about specialist coffee, it has emerged.

Bearded, wild-eyed young man with extreme views on beans and filtration effectively control large parts of the capital, operating from minimalist premises with bikes on the walls.

Peckham-based policeman Tom Booker said: “I dislike Donald Trump but he’s right, there are places here I’m scared to go, like artisan coffee house ‘Sip’.

“Apparently they have a whole ‘philosophy of coffee’ – it says so in fancy writing on the wall – which appears to involve facial hair, being overly confident and probably persecuting tea drinkers.

“I like a cappuccino as much as the next man but they’re all ‘-gato’ this and ‘-sippi’ that, it’s alienating and feels somehow secretive.”

Hackney resident Mary Fisher said: “I always thought cafes were friendly, community places but they’ve been taken over by an element that thinks coffee is a religion.

“You see the young people going into these places, they start listening to FKA Twigs, wearing short trousers with no socks and promoting musically eclectic club nights. The charismatic baristas brainwash them into believing they are amazing.

“I think they’re plotting something. Not sure what, but I’m certain it will be annoying.”

Source The Daily Mash.

[Tortuga]

Just leave a 3lb can of Folgers on a table and they will scatter...

[On the huh]

Is this another beard topic

[Tortuga]

Is this another beard topic

...and short trousers with no socks....

[Stormswift]

Oh I dunno socks and sandals are worse.

[tekmantwo]

Oh I dunno socks and sandals are worse.

oops...

I prefer moccasins anyway...

[ChrisC]

A solution?

[Tortuga]

Hackney resident Mary Fisher said: “I always thought cafes were friendly, community places but they’ve been taken over by an element that thinks coffee is a religion.

 

Just another reason for people to turn on religion!

 

[Tortuga]

oops...

I prefer moccasins anyway...

hhhmmm....in an emergency you can filter coffee grounds with socks....

 

Chris has the right idea...

[tekmantwo]

hhhmmm....in an emergency you can filter coffee grounds with socks....

 

Chris has the right idea...

An emergency? ..

[Lance]

Lol Folgers would definite do it.. Burnt sawdust

[Tortuga]

An emergency? ..

 

The SKE #18-Spanish Family Night featured a comic video clip of what the brothers would do if the friends hadn't provided food, a brother sitting at his study table started pulling food out his pockets and assembled his meal, then pulled out some coffee grounds, used the water from a hot water bottle on his back and used his sock to brew some coffee. It was hilarious!

 

I was thinking of that video when I posted. Sorry, I can't share the video clip...

 

 

Oh..unless you meant that was your normal morning routine....

Edited December 10, 2015 by Tortuga