Things You Shouldn't Say!

[rocket]

The End is on this or that year or day.

new:

Things you shouldn't say to a married coupe when they invite you to see the birthing video of their first child.

[Joey]

I don't watch rated R movies.

new:

Things you shouldn't say to a newly engaged couple.

[Greenfield]

Don't worry, marriage is easy as can be.

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Things you shouldn't say to your GPS.

[pinkpopcorn]

This is like the blind leading the blind! Are you possessed?

Things never to say to the dentist when he has the drill in his hand.

[rocket]

I am allergic to pain and I get combative sometimes.

new:

Things you should not say to the School Overseer after he assigns you a talk on a subject you really hate to discuss.

[Greenfield]

No, I am NOT reading the Song of Solomon.

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Things you shouldn't say when offering this month's Watchtower.

[rocket]

Have you taught your children about sex? This magazine has better articles on sex than I have seen in years.

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Things you should not say to a policeman after he tasers you for going 5 miles over the speed limit.

[Greenfield]

Sorry, I was speeding to the Kingdom Hall to go door-to-door with the Circuit Overseer...

(go here to get the joke)

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Things you shouldn't say offering the Bible Teach book.

[pinkpopcorn]

Did you know that if you are celebrating Christmas and birthdays you will be destroyed at Armagedon?

What shouldn't you say to a small child in the crowded Doctor's waiting room who asks loudly, "Why are you SO fat?"

[Joey]

...it's because I kidnap and eat snotty nosed little kids for dinner.

new:

Things you shouldn't say to your Pentecostal minister brother when

he wants to join hands and pray with you.

(Been in this situation a few times,he always gets mad.)

[rocket]

No thanks, I already have a direct line to Jehovah through Christ, I don't need an inept party line.

new:

Things you should not say to your favorite Baker.

[pinkpopcorn]

Are those bugs or raisins in that bread?

Things you should never say to your plumber.

[rocket]

After watching you for an hour, I have to ask, "Do you know that poo runs down hill?"

new:

Things you should not say to your congregation's COBE after you called him the PO.

[Joey]

Could I just call you the big cheese from now on,I can't keep these acronyms straight.

new:

Things you shouldn't say to Megamind.

(my all-time favorite movie)

[rocket]

AH! You're such a good boy Megamind.

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Things you should not say to a car load of Pioneer's who don't like to take coffee breaks.

[ReadYourBible]

But, but.....I have to pee, and fix my hair, and so and so always goes for coffee and always talks about how you guys don't like to stop for breaks.

Things you shouldn't say after you're freshly baptized...

[ReadYourBible]

Things you should not say to a car load of Pioneer's who don't like to take coffee breaks.

I need to find a car load of these ones, I'd fit right in, we just get started and someone says 'let's stop for coffee', my thoughts "Jesus preached from sun up to sun down, and you guys can't even go two hours without needing to stop for something!"

[rocket]

Things you should not say to a car load of Pioneer's who don't like to take coffee breaks.

I need to find a car load of these ones, I'd fit right in, we just get started and someone says 'let's stop for coffee', my thoughts "Jesus preached from sun up to sun down, and you guys can't even go two hours without needing to stop for something!"

The pioneer sisters give me a bad time even on Saturday, so one day I got to tease back when one pioneer sister had to stop three times for potty break in the morning. For me, they say I can wait, now what do you think the loving thing I should have said? No I didn't make the dear sister wait as it was my car I would have had to do the clean up. Nature calls at both ends. I have had good calls result from coffee breaks when the `good news' remains the center of conversation. I have seen Bible Studies started right in McDonalds while waiting to order food and Coffee. I have seen other Bible Students bring their mates to McDonalds to meet the Brothers and Sisters at break time, because the mate thought we were a bunch of weirdo's only to discover that hey we are just normal people. Now both attend meeting regularly. To each his own.

[rocket]

Things you shouldn't say after you're freshly baptized...

I am going to go tell that former Baptist Minister of mine, that he is full of the Devil.

new:

Things you should not say to a Pioneer that is behind on their hours for the year.

[Greenfield]

Who cares?

new:

Things you shouldn't say to a pen.

[rocket]

Pen, Oh Pen of mine, where art my pigs?

new:

Things you should not say to a Pioneer with 6 Bible Studies and you have none.

[Joey]

Only six!?What do you do with all the rest of those 70 hours?

new:

...things you shouldn't say to the new guy at the Hall with a beard?

( you don't suggest jwtalk for starters:?)

[rocket]

Are ya savin them thar eggs for lunch?

new:

Things you should not say to a Pioneer after they just returned from Pioneer School.

[stevenjbuk]

"That'll be £10 pounds please."

Things not to say to a pioneer brother after spending the day on the service, together, but doing all the driving

[Joey]

"That'll be £10 pounds please."

Things not to say to a pioneer brother after spending the day on the service, together, but doing all the driving

I accept voluntary donations.

new:

Things not to say to your husband after he ate the last piece of chocolate cake.(again)