MARRIAGE AND AGE DIFFERENCE..

[Cushi]

On 12/22/2020 at 6:33 AM, Dustparticle said:

Basically there is no scriptural answer to this. Daniel Sydlik who was a member of the GB was at least 25 years older than his wife.

I’ve wondered if the governing body have had talks among themselves about not marrying much younger sisters because it would be so distracting. I also wonder if any governing body members would get remarried if their mate fell asleep in death after that keep Jehovah’s day in mind book came out (or the Jeremiah book. I can’t remember which one). I remember that book said that it may be wise to hold off getting married and having children because of the nearness of Jehovah’s day and gave the example of Jehovah warning Jeremiah not to do so.

[Cushi]

7 minutes ago, Brother Jack said:

I’ve wondered if the governing body have had talks among themselves about not marrying much younger sisters because it would be so distracting. I also wonder if any governing body members would get remarried if their mate fell asleep in death after that keep Jehovah’s day in mind book came out (or the Jeremiah book. I can’t remember which one). I remember that book said that it may be wise to hold off getting married and having children because of the nearness of Jehovah’s day and gave the example of Jehovah warning Jeremiah not to do so.

I just found the book. It was the Jeremiah book. It just said because of the nearness of Jehovah’s day “staying single, getting married or having children merits serous thought.”
Here’s the link.

 

https://wol.jw.org/en/wol/d/r1/lp-e/1102010147?q=jeremiah+marry&p=par

 

[Sister Twister]

At the Regional convention there was an example of a wife of a governing body member who remarried when her husband died and had 2 very happy marriages , I’m sure there is a life story I’ll look it out . But some just are happy to remain single . I guess you marrying a younger person would only be distracting if the one you married was more of a distraction then a compliment ! Whoever you marry , just never marry for marrying  sake . Find someone who will help you serve Jehovah not distract you . 

7 minutes ago, Brother Jack said:

I’ve wondered if the governing body have had talks among themselves about not marrying much younger sisters because it would be so distracting. I also wonder if any governing body members would get remarried if their mate fell asleep in death after that keep Jehovah’s day in mind book came out (or the Jeremiah book. I can’t remember which one). I remember that book said that it may be wise to hold off getting married and having children because of the nearness of Jehovah’s day and gave the example of Jehovah warning Jeremiah not to do so.

 

[runner92]

Just now, Brother Jack said:

I just found the book. It was the Jeremiah book. It just said because of the nearness of Jehovah’s day “staying single, getting married or having children merits serous thought.”
Here’s the link.

 

https://wol.jw.org/en/wol/d/r1/lp-e/1102010147?q=jeremiah+marry&p=par

 

Bro. Jackson got remarried after his wife died. 

[Cushi]

5 minutes ago, runner92 said:

Bro. Jackson got remarried after his wife died. 

Yeah I thought about him. But did he remarry after that book came out?

[Cushi]

1 hour ago, Brother Jack said:

I’m 34. I love intelligent and wise women with a lot of experience in life but I’m more physically attracted to young women (ages 25 to 30) It’s funny I came across this thread because this morning I was just thinking how I would love to have an older woman with a youthful appearance in the new world. But I imagine she would end up being either young or new to the scene (having been resurrected recently) because beautiful sisters would get taken by brothers rather quickly.

I’m sorry if this comment came off as insensitive to sisters, especially older ones. That wasn’t my intent.

[runner92]

7 minutes ago, Brother Jack said:

Yeah I thought about him. But did he remarry after that book came out?

His first wife died in 2009, and the book came out in 2010. I’m sure they were working on the book before then. 

Edited December 27, 2020 by runner92

[Cushi]

1 minute ago, runner92 said:

His first wife died in 2009, and the book came out in 2010. I’m sure they were working on the book before then. 

Oh ok. Thanks. Just something I’ve wondered. 

[Cushi]

17 minutes ago, Maria Keerie said:

I guess you marrying a younger person would only be distracting if the one you married was more of a distraction then a compliment ! Whoever you marry , just never marry for marrying  sake . Find someone who will help you serve Jehovah not distract you . 

 

Thanks. I was mainly talking about the governing body. I’ve always imagined that if one of them lost a mate and remarried a sister half their age a lot of sisters would look at that particular member differently. I wondered if maybe they wouldn’t do that for that very reason. 

[JennyM]

2 hours ago, Brother Jack said:

I mentioned 25 but 30 is really an ideal age for me. Particularly because of more life experience and experience serving Jehovah. The longer someone has served Jehovah faithfully the more time they have to grow spiritually. Of course younger women have a more youthful appearance but wisdom and life experience mean a lot to me. I know that may sound silly coming from someone who’s only 34. 

I personally don’t want to get married in this system of things for several reasons. One of them being the fact that life in this system is very short. Marriage is permanent. I’d rather take my time looking for a mate in the new world. There’s no need to rush looking for a mate. Everyone’s circumstance is different. Some want to find comfort after losing a mate. Some can’t deal with the loneliness anymore. Some may be pioneering and would like someone to provide for them. Some may want a step father or mother for their child or children and others simply want sexual relief. And then there’s some like me who have no problem waiting for the right one to come along.

Wisdoms comes with age. Usually, 25-30 are being dictated by their hormones.. 

You are right about the motive of being married too... Most women especially want to get married because of security. If we take that idea away , I think lots of women dont want to get marry because being married means responsibility and they will be just locked up in marriage.. 

 

 

Inconvenient truth.. Life is very short especially for us jw who are busy serving.... ... Our life today is just a borrowed time... Sigh!

[JennyM]

2 hours ago, Brother Jack said:

I’ve wondered if the governing body have had talks among themselves about not marrying much younger sisters because it would be so distracting. I also wonder if any governing body members would get remarried if their mate fell asleep in death after that keep Jehovah’s day in mind book came out (or the Jeremiah book. I can’t remember which one). I remember that book said that it may be wise to hold off getting married and having children because of the nearness of Jehovah’s day and gave the example of Jehovah warning Jeremiah not to do so.

I remember that book.  .... getting married is really risky these days... emotional investment can be wasted.. singleness is better if someone would like to focus on spirituality.. Lots of distraction of being married and having children. 

[Cushi]

14 minutes ago, JennyM said:

I remember that book.  .... getting married is really risky these days... emotional investment can be wasted.. singleness is better if someone would like to focus on spirituality.. Lots of distraction of being married and having children. 

That’s one of the reasons I don’t want to get married in this system. It can be a distraction. Especially the courting that takes place before marriage. My main concern is strengthening my relationship with Jehovah, making it out of this system alive and helping as many as possible make it out alive as well. The most spiritual, intelligent, wise, funny and beautiful sister could come along and I still wouldn’t be interested. 

[Sister Twister]

1 hour ago, Brother Jack said:

I just found the book. It was the Jeremiah book. It just said because of the nearness of Jehovah’s day “staying single, getting married or having children merits serous thought.”
Here’s the link.

 

https://wol.jw.org/en/wol/d/r1/lp-e/1102010147?q=jeremiah+marry&p=par

 

Its a really good chapter , thank you for finding it and makes good  sense, seeing your family go through that would have been unbearable .

I have 3 children and 5 grandchildren and seeing any of them go through anything is the worse thing.

 

Good to remember the example of the prophets, just talking to my children yesterday and they all said they don't intend to have any more children in this system now due to the world situation.

 

But whatever you choose to do if you keep Jehovah first you will have his help.

 

 

 

[Sister Twister]

1 hour ago, Brother Jack said:

Thanks. I was mainly talking about the governing body. I’ve always imagined that if one of them lost a mate and remarried a sister half their age a lot of sisters would look at that particular member differently. I wondered if maybe they wouldn’t do that for that very reason. 

Its a good point , but I don't see why if the younger wife was mature and spiritually minded.

[Sister Twister]

On 12/23/2020 at 12:26 PM, .Ivan. said:

I was married in age of 24, my wife is 9 years older than me. We are married now for 22 years.
I didnt think of be marriage at that time, was too young but my wife (we were both baptized publishers in that time) she literally seduced me. I never had close contact with woman before in my life, except i kissed one sister my age when was 19, but she was experienced, she had experience in emotional relationship, before baptism she had 2 sad love stories, and in time she meet me, was 10 years baptized and without man touch too. We know each other about 5 years like brother and sister and we were going to ministry service often (she was full time pioneer)
I raised up without parents so somehow in her i saw my lost family and new life beginning. Strange.
There are a lot of strange life stories.

Nice that you found each other 

[Sister Twister]

On 12/23/2020 at 1:20 PM, EccentricM said:

 

 

 

Not anyone's buisness really, but at times certain age differences can raise eyebrows (mine included), but its true that in the new world, none of that will matter. I personally tend to stick within a 5-6 year range back or forth either way, give or take, depending on the individual.

I agree no ones business , as you said earlier its the individual ! but I think you looking 5 years either way sounds wise !! for some reason I always feel more comfortable when the man is older and the woman is younger ! the thought of being the couple  you know where his wife was mistaken for his mother I feel must have been awful for her !

 

There was a couple like that here ,and I said it at an assembly regarding their seats when he was looking for her "are you looking for your mum ?" I realised as soon as I saw my daughters horrified face at my mistake , I felt just dreadful .

On 12/24/2020 at 4:27 AM, EccentricM said:

Seriously thought you were like 45. Hence my above joking "suspcious" reaction😄

I thought even younger - I was shocked 

[Sister Twister]

2 hours ago, Brother Jack said:

I personally don’t want to get married in this system of things for several reasons. One of them being the fact that life in this system is very short. Marriage is permanent. I’d rather take my time looking for a mate in the new world. There’s no need to rush looking for a mate. Everyone’s circumstance is different. Some want to find comfort after losing a mate. Some can’t deal with the loneliness anymore. Some may be pioneering and would like someone to provide for them. Some may want a step father or mother for their child or children and others simply want sexual relief. And then there’s some like me who have no problem waiting for the right one to come along.

Then you are very wise , you can take your time and make the very best choice in the new world .

[Hope]

I know marriage is risky, but what of life isn't? 🤷🏽‍♀️  While I don't have much hope for myself, I regularly pray that my son find a lovely, spiritual woman who would have him. He would be much better off as a married man than as single and I believe he'd be a good, kind husband. He is 35 and actually losing a bit of hope for himself but ... Jehovah supplies what we need, right?  If He thinks Adam should have a wife, those prayers will be answered.  If not, he'll just have to hold it together 'til Jehovah thinks it's the right time.

[Cushi]

10 hours ago, Maria Keerie said:

Its a good point , but I don't see why if the younger wife was mature and spiritually minded.

Most of the time we don’t know much about the governing body members wives. I don’t know how it is where you live but where I live sisters seem to get upset with older brothers who marry much younger women. They say things like they just want someone they can control or that they are not spiritually minded. The reasons they give for most brothers marrying younger women are totally wrong. I know so because I’m a man. I imagined if a 60 plus year old member of the governing body married a sister half his age a lot of  sisters wouldn’t like that too much. I thought it would kind of “distance” them from that particular member and look at that brother critically. Was just wondering if that’s something they’d rather avoid.

[JennyM]

In Jehovahs eyes.. The status of man and woman is equal.. Women can marry a younger men too if they want and if they can offer financial  security to a younger guy. .. But in Satans system, it is run  and controlled by men.... Men can be dominating economically and in everything. ...

So women have no choice than to be just an object for mens disposal.... 

 

If youth is important to a man and so for woman too. 

 

Some young people want maturity and wisdom to a person that they want to marry, thats why they look for older people because supposedly, they know what to do. But its not always the case, there are young people who are also mature than their age.. If you are a young person looking for youth and wisdom, then you have to keep on searching. 

 

Edited December 28, 2020 by JennyM

[Cushi]

6 hours ago, Hope said:

I know marriage is risky, but what of life isn't? 🤷🏽‍♀️  While I don't have much hope for myself, I regularly pray that my son find a lovely, spiritual woman who would have him. He would be much better off as a married man than as single and I believe he'd be a good, kind husband. He is 35 and actually losing a bit of hope for himself but ... Jehovah supplies what we need, right?  If He thinks Adam should have a wife, those prayers will be answered.  If not, he'll just have to hold it together 'til Jehovah thinks it's the right time.

I wouldn’t say you don’t have much hope. A sister got married in our congregation shortly before COVID that is in her late 50’s, early 60’s. I’ve known other sisters who are middle aged/older who’ve gotten married. Even if you don’t get married in this system, I think all of us single ones will look back and laugh at all those lonely and hopeless moments we had in this system when we are with the person we waited to be with 🙂

[Hope]

18 minutes ago, Brother Jack said:

Most of the time we don’t know much about the governing body members wives. I don’t know how it is where you live but where I live sisters seem to get upset with older brothers who marry much younger women. They say things like they just want someone they can control or that they are not spiritually minded. The reasons they give for most brothers marrying younger women are totally wrong. I know so because I’m a man. I imagined if a 60 plus year old member of the governing body married a sister half his age a lot of  sisters wouldn’t like that too much. I thought it would kind of “distance” them from that particular member and look at that brother critically. Was just wondering if that’s something they’d rather avoid.

I guess I'm wondering why the GB or any man would give too much thought about the unnecessary opinions of nosy sisters about whom they choose to marry? 🤔  It is so much NONE of their business, it sorta blows my mind. 

 

If anyone *would* have an issue so that it would affect their spirituality in some way ("look critically"?) , I believe they need to step back and reassess their condition... and get their own business to mind.  That's wild, I'm sorry 😄🤨

[Cushi]

3 minutes ago, Hope said:

I guess I'm wondering why the GB or any man would give too much thought about the unnecessary opinions of nosy sisters about whom they choose to marry? 🤔  It is so much NONE of their business, it sorta blows my mind. 

 

If anyone *would* have an issue so that it would affect their spirituality in some way ("look critically"?) , I believe they need to step back and reassess their condition... and get their own business to mind.  That's wild, I'm sorry 😄🤨

It’s not something that would cross my mind because I wouldn’t care. But if I were a governing body member maybe I would look at marrying a sister twice my age differently. I wouldn’t want to draw too much attention to it because, like I said, where I live older sisters seem to have bad things to say about brothers who do that. I’m sure there’s a lot of things we do that we don’t think twice about that the governing body do. For example we may not think twice of wearing very expensive jewelry, driving an expensive car, or doing anything else that may draw undue attention to ourselves but I would think the governing take even seemingly small things into consideration. If I were a middle aged anointed brother serving on the governing body I think I would think twice about courting a sister half my age. I wouldn’t want the attention to be on me, but instead on the truth and Jehovah.

[Hope]

Hmmm... well, I guess if you were on the GB @Brother Jack, you would be able to follow your own conscience about minding what others thought about your personal life, if you wanted to. Other godly brothers in that situation followed what they felt was right- without seeking votes of approval. It seems Jehovah has blessed them. 💖

 

Older sisters where you live *really* seem to need another hobby besides saying bad things about appointed, anointed brothers they don't even know.  I think 1Thess 4:11 and 1 Tim 5:13 cover those areas pretty well. Personally, I'm much more offended by anyone who would do that than I would be to learn a brother married a much younger sister.

[Cushi]

9 minutes ago, Hope said:

Hmmm... well, I guess if you were on the GB @Brother Jack, you would be able to follow your own conscience about minding what others thought about your personal life, if you wanted to. Other godly brothers in that situation followed what they felt was right- without seeking votes of approval. It seems Jehovah has blessed them. 💖

 

Older sisters where you live *really* seem to need another hobby besides saying bad things about appointed, anointed brothers they don't even know.  I think 1Thess 4:11 and 1 Tim 5:13 cover those areas pretty well. Personally, I'm much more offended by anyone who would do that than I would be to learn a brother married a much younger sister.

Trust me, I don’t seek votes of approval from any human. I just know that all things are lawful but not all things are advantageous. I would imagine that this would really apply if you had a lot of responsibility and were well known like governing body members. It’s not an issue. Just something that crossed my mind.