I Didn’t Think I’d Find Her Again

[Tcvancoops]

When I was a kid, I had a small group of friends I’d regularly hang out with.  One of which was one little sister that I will call “J” for privacy reasons.  She was the youngest in our group which, according to kid logic, means she’s a baby.  I believe I’m 3-4 years older than her.  You know how kids think;  someone who is even one year younger than you is a baby, and someone a year plus older than you is basically a demigod.  So I know I didn’t treat J the best since I viewed her as an annoying little kid.  Yet, despite my snotty behavior, J always treated me with kindness and love.  Even after she moved out of NY, she would send me letters, drawings and pictures.  She didn’t forget about me, and showed how much she loved me.   The last time I heard from her, she was 11 years old.
 

Eventually, my parents separated, and my mother and I moved out of NY, and I lost contact with J.  I couldn’t stop thinking about J.  It didn’t take me long after that to realize how wrong I was in how I treated her.  And out of all my friends, she was the most faithful, spiritual, and sweetest.  She was the best friend I’ve ever had, and I not only treated her poorly, but now I lost contact with her so I couldn’t even apologize.  I felt terrible.

 

For the next years, while moving from Maine to South Carolina, I went on a search for J.  I tried looking her up, desperately searching for a hint of where she could be.  However, I always found a dead end, and I’d get disheartened and give up.  This cycle would continue until I moved back to NY in 2012.  As some of you may know, this is around the time period where I went on an intense mental journey, hospitalization, and recovery.  I went through poor decisions, getting in trouble, went through a few failed relationships, and trying to understand who I really am.  Only fairly recently have I gotten confident enough to figure out how my minds works, and coming to terms with a lot of things about me.

 

Jehovah has shown me many times the way he answers my prayers is slowly in a crazy domino effect.  I think he does that to prove to me that it is really Him that helped me, and not just by some chance.  He did that when I had to go to court against my father, when he helped me take care of the aftermath of when my beloved Cooper passed away, when getting my next dog who was exactly what I’ve been wanting for years, and with financial aid for something I was struggling with since 2010.  So hold onto your hats for this next domino effect.

 

I recently decided to give my mother another chance.  We’ve had a super strained relationship, and for years we didn’t talk to each other.  But after some time, having one on one chats, and me finding some confidence I decided to be less angry and try being friendly towards my mom.  A month ago, we went to the store together (which we hadn’t done in 8+ years), and I saw a book called “The Life Changing Magic of Tidying Up”.  I heard great things about the author, and I was looking at it when my mom noticed me eyeballing it.  She asked if I wanted to get it, and I said no because I don’t like admitting I want material things.  But she ignored me, and bought me the book anyway.  
 

After reading it, I felt motivated to do a deep cleaning of my room.  So last week I was following the rules of the book, and I was able to throw away about 10 garbage bags full of stuff.  My room felt lighter, and my mental state improved dramatically.  (Side note:  highly recommend reading that book and doing a deep clean for those who want to improve mentally).  The book explained when throwing away things, save your sentimental items for last because that’s going to be the most difficult things to go through.  And friends, I’m a hoarder when it comes to sentimental stuff.  I can’t seem to throw away gifts or items that remind me of a happier time with friends and family.  But after taking some stress pills, putting on some relaxing music, and my Millie (dog) at my side, I tackled all of my sentimental collection.  The last thing I took down was a box I had in my closest of stuff from my freshmen year of high school and back.  Among the notes I used to pass in school, art projects, and yearbooks were a little bundle of letters.  When I opened them up, I saw they were all from J.

 

I had saved all of J’s letters and drawings, and I was so happy to see them again.  On the back of one letter was her old address (after she moved), a phone number, and her mom’s email.  My heart started racing.  I figured the phone number and mailing address would probably lead to a dead end, but I thought maybe the email would still work.  I said a prayer, and then wrote a message to her mom explaining who I am, and I’m reaching out to reconnect again.  Also I did some Google searches of the mailing address and phone number to see if there was any clues there, but there wasn’t any.
 

After waiting for a bit, I figured the email might not pan out to anything since it was a Hotmail account.  And who the heck uses Hotmail anymore!  I tried once more to look up J’s name, but I couldn’t find a single thing.  I was about to give up when I had a thought.  (It was probably Jehovah tapping me on the head saying, “hold up”).  Maybe if I look up the mom’s name instead, I’d have a better chance of finding results.  Sure enough, that was the key.  I immediately found her Instagram, and I nearly screamed.  I quickly made myself an Instagram account (something I never thought I’d do lol), followed her and sent her a message through there.  I was begging Jehovah for them to see my message and reply back to me.  Couple hours later I got two notifications:  (1) her mom replied to my message, and she said she remembered me, and (2) J requesting to follow me with a message attached.  
 

I was hysterically crying.  I had found her!  After all these years, I found my childhood friend!  The three of us talked and cried, catching up on what happened in our lives and being so happy to find each other again.  One of the first things I did was apologize to J and her mom.  I said I was so sorry that I was such a nasty little kid, and that I treated J unfairly.  They both said they only had good memories of me, and J understood that it was kid logic as well.  To my surprise, she had been looking for me too.  Once we lost contact, she never stopped thinking about me and worried what could have happened.  We were so relieved to hear from each other again.
 

I’m not one to go looking for people, especially in my past.  I have no interest, mainly because I’m a loner introvert.  But out of everyone in my life, I wanted to find J.  I knew she’d still be in the truth, and be just as wonderful as an adult as she was as a kid.  I’ve ran into some of my other childhood friends, and they’re no longer in the truth and not people I’d want to associate with.  Yet I knew J would still be solid, and I was right.  She’s became a beautiful woman who serves Jehovah faithfully, and she’s extremely sweet.  She’s also married, and she’s a mom now!  And her little girl looks exactly like J when she was a kid.  
 

I’ve been in amazement and disbelief this week that I reconnected with J again, and I had to tell everyone because of how happy I am.  I’m so thankful to Jehovah for helping me find J and giving me the chance to give her that long awaited apology she deserved so many years ago.  I hope this story brings you friends some positivity and reassurance that Jehovah answers prayers in due time.  Don’t give up, friends!  Keep moving forward!

[Friends just call me Ross]

Thanks for sharing, Van.  

So glad you two were finally able to reconnect.    

[Vinnie]

What a beautiful part of your life to share with us. Thank you so much.  Without a doubt, we are all so happy for you. Would you say  it was just what you needed at this time of your life and Jehovah is helping you and caring for you?  Jehovah is taking care of us more and better then we will ever know. 

 

This reminds me of the woman with the lost drachma. “Or what woman who has ten drachma coins, if she loses one of the drachmas, does not light a lamp and sweep her house and search carefully until she finds it?9 And when she has found it, she calls her friends and neighbors together, saying, ‘Rejoice with me, for I have found the drachma coin that I had lost.

 

Well done Sister Van.

You reaped because you didn't tire out.

How good is that.

[Jmatthews]

This is such a beautiful experience- It must have been very exciting when you received a reply!