Cultural differences

[carlos]

We all know the way people behave an react varies a lot from one culture to another, and sometimes that makes people from other cultures look weird. Everybody was commenting here about that video during the public talk in the convention, where a young Asian woman finally meets her father she never got to know. Where I live both would have run to each other and hugged. It was so strange to see them stay two meters from each other, bowing one and again! 

 

There was also that other video where another Asian sister at a restaurant fails to give a good witness to the couple on the next table. The sister was devastated, her husband was comforting her as if it were some tragedy. Maybe I'm a terrible Witness but I go to restaurants quite often and most of the time I don't witness to people at the next table. It's not the end of the world. Where I live that wouldn't be a balanced reaction.

 

How would those situations work in the place where you live? What other things have you observed in the friends from other cultures that surprised you?

 

[coolbrz731]

I grew up in California and now live in Washington State.  So I went from "SoCal" culture to the "Northwest freeze" culture.  Might as well have moved to a different country.  In SoCal, we would have immediately thought there was some kind of hard feelings between the father and the daughter, with the reaction being so seemingly muted.  If it were a Californian where I came from, the daughter probably would have put the father's back out jumping on him to give a hug.

In the Seattle metropolitan area of Washington State, that kind of meeting could have happened because there, since many aren't as social and open to public displays of affection.  That display would have probably been interpreted as they were both nervous, and kind of didn't know how to properly react.  That's on the western Seattle side of the state.  On the eastern side, on the other side of the mountain range where I now live, well, I've almost had my back put out by sisters who I haven't seen in forever.  So the reaction here would have been more Californian.  Also, when I moved here, I had to get used to hugging again.  I think I may have hurt a couple of sister's feelings when they went in for a hug and I stuck out my hand as a habit.  I suspect I did cause my wife gave me a "look".

[Amygdala]

I could write a book. 🤣

[Amygdala]

But to be serious, after moving across Canada, and then moving to another country, also having lived with 33 different sisters as roommates, and traveling to various countries and attending congregations and service around the world, one thing I have learned is to not assume everyone does it "my way"...and to be respectful of other peoples cultures, even if I think it's "strange."

 

I have learned (sometimes the hard way!) from the differences in other cultures. For example, there was a very expressive French speaking brother from an African country and we used to be in the same congregation years ago. Well he was upset about something, and I just blurted out "oh don't be so serious" or something to that effect. However because of cultural expressions and not clear understanding, he thought I said a French term that sounded like "crazy." Talk about a doozy of a result after that! 😵  That situation taught me not to assume that everyone will just "get me" by the way I talk. Because we all are influenced by our upbringing, and so what some find "normal" such as openness and hugginess in the spanish culture, may very well be translated into something totally unintended in another. 😉 Same with those who come across as veryyy expressive in gestures or emotion, may be taken as aggressiveness or arguing in other cultures who tend to be more standoffish or shy.

 

My husband and I once attended a work Engineering conference in Naples, Italy back in 2007, and there were guest speakers from around the world. Talk about cultural difference and realllyyy different levels of English and understanding. I didn't pay attention to the content, as I did to the different deliveries, and found it truly a fascinating, learning experience. There was German, Welsh, Japanese, Italian, Australian, American and probably other countries but I can't remember. But some stuck out definitely more than others. Ever since moving continents I have learned that there really is "no normal". Also that language plays a huge role in cultural identity or thinking. But one has to be careful not to stereotype, as of course people are individuals too.

 

 

 

Edited September 1, 2022 by Woanders

[coolbrz731]

I worked for a Japanese company called Matsushita Avionics.  Their headquarters was in Osaka, Japan.  And the corporate culture there was Japanese, not American.  I also befriended a Japanese couple in my former congregation.  One thing that surprised me was that the Japanese always seemed so formal, controlled, and almost repressed.  So that video didn't surprise me from what I know of their general culture.  But, what surprised me was that in both the employees of the company, and the couple in my congregation, once they view you as a friend, they're almost the opposite of what you think they are.  The sister, Nuiko, would do anything to try to get me to shoot my drink out of my nose or have it spray out of my mouth laughing.  I gained an instinct that as soon as she started talking, and I was drinking, I'd stop drinking and just cover my mouth.  Half the time it backfired on her, because she would laugh at my reaction.  But the other half, it would save me.  I'd be convulsing laughing so hard, while using my hand to keep my drink in my mouth.  One time she broke me by asking, "Why you turn red?  You no turn purple?" in an exaggerated Japanese accent(yes, she would go there with me.  She is my "sister that I never wanted")😂.  The husband would be dead serious, tell his joke, and get this look on his face that would make you crack up laughing.  He wasn't a brutal with it as his wife.

 

And at work, the visiting Japanese employees would never be seen smiling.  Always business with them.  Unless you worked with them enough.  They taught me enough Japanese to understand when they were making jokes about me.  And they loved it when I fired back in Japanese.  One day, I decided to simply sneak up behind and scare one of them.  My boss got so mad at me, and was lecturing me that you DO NOT act that way in a work environment with people from Japan.  Next thing I know, a spit ball nails me right in the eye, and the two Japanese employees and laughing and thanking the boss for distracting me.  They found out I was a Jehovah's Witness when I had to explain to them that when I get assigned to work in Osaka as part of the rotation, I will not be joining them on their nights of debauchery and rowdiness.

Edited September 1, 2022 by coolbrz731

[Amygdala]

Correction I meant 13 and not lived with 33 different sisters - but it sure felt like it! 😅

[hatcheckgirl]

Yes, the Japanese have a very formal culture, reflected deep within its past religious and feudal structure of obedience to the emperor, shōgun, clan leader etc Their culture is the opposite of individualism like the west. They keep to strongly defined social norms, which even they find stifling (suicides are high but hushed up). Keeping honour and saving face is very important. The first thing they want to know about you is your age, because then they can work out your relative standing in the relationship and the level of honour and depth of the bow.

 

For a daughter meeting her father for the first time, they were showing distinct cultural honour to each other, she bowing a little lower than her superior. It would not be appropriate to hug a stranger. Displays of affection in public are frowned upon, and would have looked weird to other onlookers if they had hugged. Those things are done indoors. (Love hotels specifically for sex are everywhere because you can’t be too rowdy in your bedroom either, the walls are so thin. So decorum requires even that part of life is restrained).

 

Of course, this is just a part of the Japanese culture, and as a tourist, I have not had to integrate and break into their quite restrictive culture that pretty much excludes “gaijin”, or foreigners. I know they are massively hardworking people, and slacking off is socially frowned upon. So they have very high expectations on themselves, but regard the foreigner as “below them” if they are living as residents there - it is almost impossible to become a part of their world. But for a tourist, they bend over backwards, regarding it as both a pleasure and deep pride to show you their culture.

 

It is no wonder, then, that young Japanese who emigrate to places like Australia, with our laid back lifestyle, “she’ll be right mate” attitude, revel in the freedom. One young Japanese man that drove the Sushi van at work told me “Why would you ever want to go to Japan!?”

[Amygdala]

It makes me think…the thought is the world will only speak one language in the new system….

 

Does that mean cultures will also change and there will only be one kind of unifying culture?

[Pabo]

My stepson's wife is Japanese, and she is not like your typical Japanese either. Having met her sisters and her parents, she is truly an oddball. But her father is somewhat of a larrikin himself once you get to know him, even though there is a language barrier. So I guess there is a throwback from his side of the family. She had lived across various  countries around the world either on a working or student visas, and spent more time living away in foreign lands then she had when she lived at home, as she finds that she cannot cope living in Japan.

 

When they were dating, my stepson got her a book on Australian slang as a gift, so she could understand the Aussie language, as some of things he said, she always asked for clarification on what he said. Whilst they were talking one day with each other, my stepson was leading her on with a story that he was relating, she replied to him back "Are you taking the piss?" He was shocked with what she had said and asked where did she learned that. She said in the book that he gave her only a couple of weeks earlier and she had read the whole book. She had picked it that well, that she was able to apply it very quickly and very timely as well. The stories that he relates about what she had interjected certain phrases in conversations that they have with others just makes you laugh, and they are only best retold as live experiences, as you need to put the connotation in how she delivered it. He says she knows more slang terms than what he knows.

 

One story he relates is when they were dating, he quipped that he took her out to a Asian restaurant and said to her: "This is a very unusual scene. Here I am dating a Japanese girl in a Chinese restaurant, which owned by Thai owners, being served by a Filipino waitress, I am eating a Malaysian dish and you are eating a Korean dish and drinking a Singaporean beer. It feels like I having all of what Asia has to offer all at once. What else can a person need?" She lifted up her bowl and looking underneath and said "You forgot using Taiwanese crockery".

Edited September 2, 2022 by Pabo

[coony77]

12 hours ago, carlos said:

We all know the way people behave an react varies a lot from one culture to another, and sometimes that makes people from other cultures look weird. Everybody was commenting here about that video during the public talk in the convention, where a young Asian woman finally meets her father she never got to know. Where I live both would have run to each other and hugged. It was so strange to see them stay two meters from each other, bowing one and again! 

 

There was also that other video where another Asian sister at a restaurant fails to give a good witness to the couple on the next table. The sister was devastated, her husband was comforting her as if it were some tragedy. Maybe I'm a terrible Witness but I go to restaurants quite often and most of the time I don't witness to people at the next table. It's not the end of the world. Where I live that wouldn't be a balanced reaction.

 

How would those situations work in the place where you live? What other things have you observed in the friends from other cultures that surprised you?

 

Carlos, you´re taking the words right out of my mouth - I felt the same while watching these videos! It´s really a cultural thing and although I am a huge fan of the Asian culture (I love their respectful manner, their humility, etc.) I would definitely miss things like hugging each other, etc. Not that they don´t do it, but they´re more reserved in general. Me coming from a Greek culture, I´m a very affectionate person, all my life I´ve been used to hugging others a lot rather than shaking hands. (We Greeks not only hug, we also give kisses on the cheek ). So, when I switched from a Greek to a German congregation in 2011, I was really concerned about that, because Germans in general are much more reserved in showing affection. But fortunately my congregation seems to be a big exception - I joined a big group of huggers

[carlos]

8 hours ago, Woanders said:

It makes me think…the thought is the world will only speak one language in the new system….

 

Does that mean cultures will also change and there will only be one kind of unifying culture?

I don't think so. Americans, Canadians, Britons and Aussies speak all the same language yet their cultures are very different. Or Spaniards and Latinos.

Language is certainly a factor but there are more.

 

I guess in the new world there will be many different cultures, and all of them will be delightful.

[Esined]

11 hours ago, Woanders said:

It makes me think…the thought is the world will only speak one language in the new system….

 

Does that mean cultures will also change and there will only be one kind of unifying culture?

I sure hope not! Cultural diversity is one of the most beautiful things about Jehovah’s people and diversity is an amazing part of Jehovah’s creation. When we’re perfect we’ll all be a lot more appreciative and understanding of each other culturally and otherwise. We’ll be unified by the culture of pure worship 😊

[Amygdala]

1 minute ago, Esined said:

I sure hope not! Cultural diversity is one of the most beautiful things about Jehovah’s people and diversity is an amazing part of Jehovah’s creation. When we’re perfect we’ll all be a lot more appreciative and understanding of each other culturally and otherwise. We’ll be unified by the culture of pure worship 😊

Pure language indeed. 🙏

 

Giving it deeper thought, it will truly be a miracle to no longer misinterpret one another’s intentions or motivations but rather see each other through love and acceptance, which is indeed a wonderful hope!!

[Esined]

20 hours ago, carlos said:

We all know the way people behave an react varies a lot from one culture to another, and sometimes that makes people from other cultures look weird. Everybody was commenting here about that video during the public talk in the convention, where a young Asian woman finally meets her father she never got to know. Where I live both would have run to each other and hugged. It was so strange to see them stay two meters from each other, bowing one and again! 

 

There was also that other video where another Asian sister at a restaurant fails to give a good witness to the couple on the next table. The sister was devastated, her husband was comforting her as if it were some tragedy. Maybe I'm a terrible Witness but I go to restaurants quite often and most of the time I don't witness to people at the next table. It's not the end of the world. Where I live that wouldn't be a balanced reaction.

 

How would those situations work in the place where you live? What other things have you observed in the friends from other cultures that surprised you?

 

I thought that reaction was kinda much but I also read it as her recognizing and cringing at the lameness of her attempt 😂 

I spent 30+ years in Spanish congregations in the US and have been in a diverse English cong in Boston for about 6 years. I have been in majority Anglo, Mexican, Cuban, Dominican and Black American halls. I have loved them all but each one has been so different!
 

I stayed in Spanish for a long time after my daughter was born bc the friends seemed more chill and understanding of normal baby and toddler behavior. In my mostly-Dominican Spanish congregation in Boston, the friends would tell me to take it easy and calm down if I got frustrated and took my daughter to the back if she cried or made a little noise. When we visited my mom’s English, majority Anglo congregation in Florida, they did NOT do babies making *any* noise and I had to sit with her in the bathroom the whole time.
 

Again when I was in my Spanish congregation here, service and service arrangements tend to be slightly more informal. I would go out in service with sisters who would ring the bell at an apartment building off and on for 15 minutes if no one answered and hang out chatting quietly before moving on to the next door. They took the “pioneer shuffle” to a whole new level 😅

 

Dominican culture and service arrangements tended to be more relational/spoken (ie, people made their own group service arrangements during the week) than formal and written down. I do better with a little more structure so this was just one of the reasons I eventually changed to the English congregation, where service arrangements for almost every day of the week are typed up and posted on the bulletin board or Dropbox and we have an awesome big mix of cultures. I still occasionally hang out with my old cong for the karaoke and merengue  though! 

Edited September 2, 2022 by Esined

[Ishaya]

The white brothers I have seen with us here in Nigeria seem to keep to themselves and not open for casual conversations or exchange of pleasantries,which seem very odd around here.

 

In the Nigerian and African culture people have fellow feelings and very free with one another and quick to make friends.you could see people who just met conversing with one another like they have known themselves along time ago.In the African culture people are very quick to trust one another,hence the openness.

When brothers enter the KH here it is customary to go around and greet everyone in the KH before going to take their seat.KH is usually a beehive both before and after meetings because of how free people here are with one another.

 

I think culture is one thing but developing oneself to adapt to a different environments is something people need to learn,as the world is increasingly becoming a very small place due to advances in travel technology,internet and communication.

 

With the pace we are going I doubt there will be any much difference in cultures in the new world.I think we are already seeing the massive effect of globalization even right now.as people interact with one another they understand that humans are all the same and we all desire a good and enjoyable life and good ideas may  come from anywhere.the world is increasingly become a very very small place where people quickly share ideas learn from one another on how to enjoy life to the fullest.

people know what is good when they see it,Lol.

 

[carlos]

On 9/4/2022 at 12:30 AM, Ishaya said:

The white brothers I have seen with us here in Nigeria seem to keep to themselves and not open for casual conversations or exchange of pleasantries,which seem very odd around here.

Something I have noticed when exchanging private messages with some African brothers is that they always start by asking kindly about me, my wife or my family, asking if they are ok and sending their best wishes. I like that because it shows an interest in the person.

 

On the other hand, where I live people are so busy that we simply do not have the time for those pleasantries as you call them. In general people in Europe are busy and they appreciate that you go directly to the point, so as not to waste more of their time than strictly necessary. 

 

They are two different ways to look at things. I guess both are valid. 

[Amygdala]

This girl is on spot. 😅

 

 

[Dages]

22 minutes ago, Woanders said:

This girl is on spot. 😅

 

 

Germans complain ? From a French point of view, you guys are so disciplined  

[Girl81]

I think our cultures will be melded in a way that enables more efficient communication.  I think distinctions will remain (as in a body; the liver is different from the kidney) while the channels will be more clear and the messages more concise, resulting in greater peace and love. JMO

 

Edited October 17, 2022 by Michelle81

[Amygdala]

This is a great video…not knocking America, but just highlights the differences.