Courting or Dating

[Dustparticle]

 All

 

 I guess many have read the new article in July 2015, Awake on pp  9,10  "When a Courtship Ends" So, here I go and I will let you know before hand that while writing this article, i was under the influence of pain pills and chocolate. Also, I been listing to some little Kraftwerk too.

 

 When a courtship ends; is it legitimate or reasonable? I NEVER been a relationship before so, I can't be in your shoes. I can't FEEL what you are feeling and what is on your mind when responding to this post. However, YOUR response (especially sisters) are priceless.

 

 Many relationships are broken basically for no reason. Here are some reasons why.

 

 1. When courting many sugarcoat everything. They think everything is perfect and it going to remain that way, but it will not. When done dating for the day, then you off on your same old routine.

 

 2. A sister broke off a relationship with a brother because he is not a servant or an elder. There could be many reason why he is not. Did we read the first 2 study articles in the  April 15, 2015, WT?

 

 3.  A brother broke off the relationship with a sister because he want her to look better. Did he look in the mirror lately?

 

 4. A sister broke off a relationship with a brother because she make more money than him and he can't. Do she appreciate she is getting good paid in a Mans World?

 

 5. A brother broke off with a relationship a sister because. he didn't like his mother. Does he know that many don't like his mother because the way she is?

 

 6. How about some family and friends tells you to break off because one of you black and one of you white. STICK TO YOUR OWN KIND!, they would say. If you do more research of your family, then you might be black and white yourself. Yes, we are sticking to your kind and that is the HUMANKIND.

 

 7. Some will tell you to break off because they are related to somebody. If we look into the Bible, we are ALL related.

 

 So, when married an individual, that means you chose that person and that is true, but some have make it scary by saying it. How scary can it be if you chose a precious gem for yourself?

 

 If you view your wife as a rose, yet it has thorns on it. She is not perfect. If you view your husband as a strong elephant, yet they are scare of mice. What a wimp! Yet, we all are the same. We all are human beings with hearts and feelings.

 

 So, here is my advice of when courting:

 

 1. Always have a chaperone

 

 2. View each other priceless

 

 3. View each other not perfect

 

 4. Don't view life as a rose

 

 5. Prepare for the worst when married. Think ahead of handling important things.

 

 6. Don't think about your future in laws so much. Think about each other.

 

 7. Do worry what friends you going to have. We have over 8 million of them worldwide

 

 8. Do worry what mood swing we going to have. We going to have to deal with no matter what any way.

 

 9. Brothers, don't get upset if your date get so emotional over something. That is part of her make up. DEAL WITH IT!

 

 10. Brothers, you need to please your future wife now. If not, then how are going to please her when your are married? Pull some flowers off your neighbors yard at night time and give it to her.

 

 Yes, I can go on and on about this, But I will be popping more pain pills and eating more chocolate in order to do it. But, if I can squeeze of this information together. How would it be?

 

 1. Brothers and sisters, when courting, just take your shoes off and relax and have a good time.

 

 2. Don't be on pins and needles all the time. It doesn't worth it! Yes, courting and dating is very serious because that person might be your future mate.

 

 3. If thinking that you know all about your future mate when courting has ended and married. Wake up in the morning together and find out if that is so.

 

 The End

Edited April 27, 2015 by Dustparticle

[Ahuvah]

My advice - based on experience - when courting:

 

1. Don't use just ONE chaperone, create a group situation where applicable - people are more likely to relax and be themselves and you aren't making another brother and sister feel like the third cog in a wheel by using one chaperone all the time.

 

2. Yes view each other as priceless, but don't be scared to look closer at the cracks either ... a vase is still precious even with a few hairline cracks ... but if those cracks are something that will open up deeper after marriage - it may be wise to leave the beautiful vase on the shelf.

 

3. Don't ignore the imperfections, but don't magnify them either, we all have them ...  just balance them with yours and ask yourself - are these imperfections a: Something I can life with b: will it affect the way we serve Jehovah as a couple.

 

4. Oh certainly view life as a rose - nothing wrong with a positive outlook - just don't ignore the thorns.

 

5. Don't prepare for the worst - very few things you prepare for in life cause problems - it's the unknown or unforeseen that causes the most problems. Focus on covering imperfections with love so it covers all things that come your way.

 

6.In some cases considering your in-laws is appropriate esp if they will need caring for physically down the line, but they shouldn't be the reason not to marry someone.

 

7. Do not worry about what friends you have. We have over 8 million of them worldwide.

 

8. You cannot foresee the extent of any mood swings ... a number of things will affect this: unforeseen circumstances, pregnancies, husbands, sickness, financial worries, teenagers, loss etc etc worry about loving each other more than any temporary situation.

 

9. Sisters, don't worry if your date - future husband breaks out in acne or has childish tantrums. That is part of his make-up DEAL WITH IT!!!!!!!!!

 

10. Brothers treats your prospective wife as you intend to go on treating her ... if your neighbours garden doesn't have enough roses to supply all your needs into the future ... there is always the cemetery (just don't make them artificial).

 

Do all of the above and you will still have days when you want to find a tropical island somewhere far far away, but in the end you will end up with a great marriage if you make Jehovah your third cord.

 

(Hugs Bro. Dusty - please take this in semi-jest).

[carlos]

Glenn, I think my view is slightly different from yours. The purpose of courting is getting to know the other person better and decide whether she's the right person for you. Sometimes she is, sometimes she's not. If you see anything in that person that really bothers you, and that you think will be a problem in your married life, it's ok to stop the relationship. Even if you just don't feel she's the right person, without a specific reason. That's what courting is about.

 

Yes, some reasons for breaking up clearly show the person is superficial or an idiot, but it's still their right to break the relationship. And several of the reasons you mention are not so insignificant as you think. I have seen marriages ruined because parents stuck their nose too much in the couple's life and the husband did nothing to stop them or even supported them. If a sister sees that happening during courting, she'd better flee from there! Issues like the wife making more money than the husband, or marrying someone from a different race or culture (*** w73 12/1 p. 735 Questions From Readers ***), although not really obstacles for mature Christians, can be a constant source of stress and arguments. We really don't know what was it that that sister saw in her non-appointed boyfriend that made her stop the relationship. In any case, it's not up for us to judge.

 

Breaking a relationship is hard and it should not be taken lightly. But it's one million times better to repent one day before the wedding than one day after.

[Dustparticle]

My advice - based on experience - when courting:

 

1. Don't use just ONE chaperone, create a group situation where applicable - people are more likely to relax and be themselves and you aren't making another brother and sister feel like the third cog in a wheel by using one chaperone all the time.

 

2. Yes view each other as priceless, but don't be scared to look closer at the cracks either ... a vase is still precious even with a few hairline cracks ... but if those cracks are something that will open up deeper after marriage - it may be wise to leave the beautiful vase on the shelf.

 

3. Don't ignore the imperfections, but don't magnify them either, we all have them ...  just balance them with yours and ask yourself - are these imperfections a: Something I can life with b: will it affect the way we serve Jehovah as a couple.

 

4. Oh certainly view life as a rose - nothing wrong with a positive outlook - just don't ignore the thorns.

 

5. Don't prepare for the worst - very few things you prepare for in life cause problems - it's the unknown or unforeseen that causes the most problems. Focus on covering imperfections with love so it covers all things that come your way.

 

6.In some cases considering your in-laws is appropriate esp if they will need caring for physically down the line, but they shouldn't be the reason not to marry someone.

 

7. Do not worry about what friends you have. We have over 8 million of them worldwide.

 

8. You cannot foresee the extent of any mood swings ... a number of things will affect this: unforeseen circumstances, pregnancies, husbands, sickness, financial worries, teenagers, loss etc etc worry about loving each other more than any temporary situation.

 

9. Sisters, don't worry if your date - future husband breaks out in acne or has childish tantrums. That is part of his make-up DEAL WITH IT!!!!!!!!!

 

10. Brothers treats your prospective wife as you intend to go on treating her ... if your neighbours garden doesn't have enough roses to supply all your needs into the future ... there is always the cemetery (just don't make them artificial).

 

Do all of the above and you will still have days when you want to find a tropical island somewhere far far away, but in the end you will end up with a great marriage if you make Jehovah your third cord.

 

(Hugs Bro. Dusty - please take this in semi-jest).

Awesome post sis. I have to look at this a little more without popping pain pills and eating chocolate. Now, I have to go out in field service.

[Dustparticle]

Glenn, I think my view is slightly different from yours. The purpose of courting is getting to know the other person better and decide whether she's the right person for you. Sometimes she is, sometimes she's not. If you see anything in that person that really bothers you, and that you think will be a problem in your married life, it's ok to stop the relationship. Even if you just don't feel she's the right person, without a specific reason. That's what courting is about.

 

Yes, some reasons for breaking up clearly show the person is superficial or an idiot, but it's still their right to break the relationship. And several of the reasons you mention are not so insignificant as you think. I have seen marriages ruined because parents stuck their nose too much in the couple's life and the husband did nothing to stop them or even supported them. If a sister sees that happening during courting, she'd better flee from there! Issues like the wife making more money than the husband, or marrying someone from a different race or culture (*** w73 12/1 p. 735 Questions From Readers ***), although not really obstacles for mature Christians, can be a constant source of stress and arguments. We really don't know what was it that that sister saw in her non-appointed boyfriend that made her stop the relationship. In any case, it's not up for us to judge.

 

Breaking a relationship is hard and it should not be taken lightly. But it's one million times better to repent one day before the wedding than one day after.

I have to look up the 1973 WT article before i respond. Yes, many things comes into factor before choosing a mate. If, my future mate is from Spain, then that will not bother me at all. Why? Because I'm an easy going person and Spanish food tastes good too.

[Old]

Caution! 

 

On one hand, eating chocolate while on pain pills could cause one to fixate on sisters. 

 

But on the other hand, there are many worse afflictions.    

[Dustparticle]

Caution! 

 

On one hand, eating chocolate while on pain pills could cause one to fixate on sisters. 

 

But on the other hand, there are many worse afflictions.    

LOL You know if I'm going to by my future mate something, then it be will flowers and not chocolate. Why? Because the chocolate is mine.

[Old]

Awesome post sis. I have to look at this a little more without popping pain pills and eating chocolate. Now, I have to go out in field service.

4:21 AM Wow, that is early service, good for you.

LOL You know if I'm going to by my future mate something, then it be will flowers and not chocolate. Why? Because the chocolate is mine.

Hey, your supposed to be out in service! 

[Dustparticle]

4:21 AM Wow, that is early service, good for you.

Hey, your supposed to be out in service! 

 I cheated, however the timing would be good for down south because it is hot down there. If I was living there I be out at five doing street witnessing. It is so hot that, if you heading to the second door, then you will be soaked.

Edited April 27, 2015 by Dustparticle