Telemarketing, tell us your experiences

[Old]

I just got off the phone after talking to Susan with Windows Services.

Sweet young thing, strong Indian accent. I couldn't be mean to her, strung her along for a while before telling her I had a MAC.

She didn't know what to do about that and still wanted to fix my Windows.

I explained that she was welcome to clean the outside Windows but we preferred to clean the inside ourselves. (Click!)

 

 All is fair in love and telemarketing.    

 

[Zebra555]

It's a scam, they want you to give them remote access to your computer so they look through yor files for passwords etc..

Beware, hang-up.

[Friends just call me Ross]

 

[Brother Arellano]

Ahhh... Yes. Those scammers have called me more than a couple times. Amazing how technically challenged they can be. I told them I was using OS X El Capitain to which they responded yes I can see you are using Windows 10. They were quite frustrated when I told them my computer does not have a start button.

[Stavro]

When some brothers and sisters in my hall were getting these "Windows Support" calls, I gave them a short virus-like program I wrote called "bank passwords.txt.exe" to keep on their desktop. The file itself was not malicious, nor could it spread on its own, but when it was run on any other PC it would open thousands of windows, crashing the PC, and it would install itself to the startup programs for the process to repeat itself at the next bootup.

 

Apparently the responses they got when the scammers "scanned" the file were less than polite, but at least the calls stopped.

[Miss Mouse]

I ask them if they sleep well at night .....HUH ..... I'm calling about your Windows ( with strong accent) I ask them again ....now there getting frustrated then I drop the lecture about honesty and why it's a bad idea to be dishonest!

If I'm short for time I hang up.

If a number shows up I have a call block feature on my phone .

[Sheep]

. . . I couldn't be mean to her, strung her along for a while before telling her I had a MAC.

 

. . .

 

 All is fair in love and telemarketing.    

 

That's what I do if I have the time, "string them along" for a while before I tell them... um... but wait...

 

It's a scam, they want you to give them remote access to your computer so they look through yor files for passwords etc..

Beware, hang-up.

 

That's right. I know they're scams. They tell you they're from Microsoft, or at least their company was hired by M$, to check out likely problems in your computer. However, Microsoft has no way in the world of knowing that you have one of their products on your computer, or even if you have a computer in the first place!

 

As I was saying, I try to string them along a bit before asking them... "What made you think I have a computer?"

 

 

 

EDIT: Is that dishonest? (I mean, stringing them along. I already know they are.)

Edited November 2, 2015 by Sheep

[Old]

Just got my daily call from Bridget of Card Holder Services.

Hard to have any fun with Bridget, she wants me to push her buttons just to talk to a human, I don't like pushing buttons.

Not worried about hurting her feelings, I know she will call again tomorrow, such is the love.

[RaymondG]

Yes, the "Windows" people ring often here too...

Strange how it's not "Microsoft".

The big question I have for them is how they got my phone number. Time after time they tell me that my phone number is associated with my internet connection. So I repeat the question, but I add that my internet doesn't come via a phone line.

This doesn't trouble them because they know my internet is coming via my phone line. I tell them that I don't have my home phone number anywhere on my computer and my internet isn't associated with my phone line.

So how did they get my number? Until they tell me this I won't discuss anything with them. And they can't tell me this because my internet is on a satellite service... no phone line connection at all.

Apart from these calls, there are dozens of others who call occasionally. Their Filipino, Malaysian, Indian or other accent is always strong as they tell me they have a nice Anglo-Saxon or European first name. They have lied to tell me that, what else will they lie about?

[Tortuga]

May Jehovah forgive me for lying but I tell them they have reached an FBI safe house or secret military installation and I demand they tell me how they got the phone number....

[CHecker]

Richard, you are all NAUGHTY! And I love it! You gave me ammo for the next call!

[Tortuga]

Richard, you are all NAUGHTY! And I love it! You gave me ammo for the next call!

May Jehovah forgive me again but the fun part is telling them to stay on the line. They usually hang up so fast it makes the phone spin...

[RaymondG]

Really, you know, he needs more duct* tape...

Otherwise, how can he stay out of trouble?

* No, it's not 'duck' tape, it's 'duct' tape, intended originally for sealing gaps and joining air conditioning ducting.

[Tortuga]

* No, it's not 'duck' tape, it's 'duct' tape, intended originally for sealing gaps and joining air conditioning ducting.

 

It's funny that so many people have mispronounced duct tape as duck tape that there is actually duck tape available now...

 

I think I'm going to duct and run...

[Tortuga]

I know the right thing to do is to witness to the telemarketers but I always have more fun playing with them. My favorite was the poor guy that I pretended was a pizza delivery. I pretended to be a deaf guy ordering pizza and I twisted everything he said into a pizza order. He got so frustrated that he hung up on me...

[Tortuga]

I know the right thing to do is to witness to the telemarketers but I always have more fun playing with them. My favorite was the poor guy that I pretended was a pizza delivery. I pretended to be a deaf guy ordering pizza and I twisted everything he said into a pizza order. He got so frustrated that he hung up on me...

MINNOWS? WHAT MINNOWS? I DON'T WANT MINNOWS ON MY PIZZA. JUST GIVE ME THE SAME ONE I HAD LAST WEEK. WHAT? WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU CAN'T HELP ME? I JUST ORDERED ONE LAST WEEK...

[bohemian]

My answer is to tell them that the number they have rung is reserved for friends, family and people requesting a home Bible Study. As I know they are not family, and I don't know them enough to call them a friend, I can only assume that they want a Bible Study. Then I begin to explain what they would learn - i.e. Answers to such questions as "what happens when we die?" ....... Etc.

Then I ask for a contact number or address so that I can arrange for someone locally to visit them or contact them to set up a time/place for the study.

If we make it this far, I have had some interesting conversations with telemarketers.

[CHecker]

Pssst Richard....

I think you broke the post counter thingy, it says you've got 5,172 posts. All 5 of them on this topic alone.

Edited November 3, 2015 by bagwell1987

[Tcvancoops]

Oh my goodness!! Do I have a story!

So back in my first year of high school there was this weird telemarking thing asking if the household needs a restock on their water supply. (That's the best I can explain it). One of the guys in my class said he got the call and after the telemarketer asked if he needed the restock, the kid replied, "Nah, man, we have juice". And then his aunt got on the phone after the telemarketer asked to speak to adult (obviously annoyed). The aunt then replied to the question the exact same way, "No, that's okay. We have juice".

This kid proceeded to warn everybody about this new telemarketer and to say the juice reply. Fast forward a week later when my house got the call. When I said, "nah, man, we have juice", the guy yelled out, "What's with the juice?!?!?"

Super funny!

[Tortuga]

Pssst Richard....

I think you broke the post counter thingy, it says you've got 5,172 posts. All 5 of them on this topic alone.

(...I know...when i joined I paid the extra money for the Double-Trouble token and it doubles my post count...)

[Old]

If you have caller identity on your phone you can usually recognize a telemarketing call, but not always. I answer them to keep them off my answering machine.

One ploy is to answer your phone with "City morgue, you stab em, we slab em." If it turns out it was your COBE just hope he has a sense of humor.

[Tortuga]

We signed up for NoMoRoBo and we don't get called anymore...

[Sheep]

(...I know...when i joined I paid the extra money for the Double-Trouble token and it doubles my post count...)

 

Oh, you mean you missed the offer for the triple count? (I don't post very much here, so it helps.)

[CHecker]

Wonder how long you have been/will be at 5,179.........we may never know....

[RaymondG]

Only till someone phones him with an offer too good to refuse...

That's how it works.