I HATE being more tech savvy than my spouse!

[steadfast]

28 minutes ago, shali said:

including his OCD.

That could  be a major factor here, depending on the severity.

[shali]

14 minutes ago, steadfast said:

That could  be a major factor here, depending on the severity.

I would of considered that a factor if he was this way with everyone - but it's just me - I'm the special recipient of his ire when something needs fixed.

[Hope]

Somebody else mentioned it, I think - let him buy new things, you fix what you can and sell it.  Keep the money.  Buy spa days for yourself so you can relax.  At least you'll get some compensation for that aggravation.

 

That whole attitude irks me to no end... 

[steadfast]

1 hour ago, shali said:

I would of considered that a factor if he was this way with everyone - but it's just me - I'm the special recipient of his ire when something needs fixed.

I'm going to assume he has been diagnosed with OCD. May I offer some possibilities :

 

He is embarrassed by it, realizes his thinking is not "normal," is very self-critical, might feel stupid - even if he "projects" a different image outwardly.

 

You are his spouse, so he cares more about the way you see him than anyone else. That might explain why he acts more sensitive to you (as opposed to others) about being helped, taught things, etc. He doesn't want you to think of him as stupid and helpless. He might not even realize why he acts that way. Is pride involved? Maybe. It's hard to try to change OCD thinking, so... gird up your loins?

 

Just some possibilities.

[Tortuga]

3 minutes ago, steadfast said:

I'm going to assume he has been diagnosed with OCD. May I offer some possibilities :

 

He is embarrassed by it, realizes his thinking is not "normal," is very self-critical, might feel stupid - even if he "projects" a different image outwardly.

 

You are his spouse, so he cares more about the way you see him than anyone else. That might explain why he acts more sensitive to you (as opposed to others) about being helped, taught things, etc. He doesn't want you to think of him as stupid and helpless. He might not even realize why he acts that way. Is pride involved? Maybe. It's hard to try to change OCD thinking, so... gird up your loins?

 

Just some possibilities.

That sums up what I was going to say. 

He may be frustrated that he can't figure it out and doesn't want to appear to be weak, so he replaces things instead of admitting he can't repair them. When you fix them it makes him feel weak in front of the one person he wants to think he is strong.

[shali]

9 minutes ago, Hope said:

Somebody else mentioned it, I think - let him buy new things, you fix what you can and sell it.  Keep the money.  Buy spa days for yourself so you can relax.  At least you'll get some compensation for that aggravation.

 

That whole attitude irks me to no end... 

When I fix something of his that he has bought with his own money, I feel like it's only right to give it back to him.  Anything I fix of mine or ours, stays in the home.  So there is really nothing left to sell.  Now he has a backup GPS watch if he needs it I guess.  Over a year ago, he bought a Samsung tablet that soon showed a glitch and was going to toss it (after spending 399.00!!!).  He offered it to me but I had a Nexus 10 I loved.  So I told him if he let me fix it then perhaps we could sell it to another brother or sister and at least recoop some of the money.  So he allowed it, and he sold it for 200.00 (two weeks after buying it for 399.00 - sigh!) and promptly bought an apple tablet.  I keep in touch with the brother who we sold the tablet too to make sure everything is still working right and he LOVES his tablet and it's been over a year ago now.  This is the only instance I can think of where he agreed to let me fix something so it could be sold.

[shali]

1 minute ago, Tortuga said:

That sums up what I was going to say. 

He may be frustrated that he can't figure it out and doesn't want to appear to be weak, so he replaces things instead of admitting he can't repair them. When you fix them it makes him feel weak in front of the one person he wants to think he is strong.

I pretty much understand that that is probably his thinking, I guess I'm looking for a way to get him to realize that all people have different abilities and attributes and that isn't a crime.  Where would we be if no one had anyone to teach them anything ever?!! No one would know anything and all knowledge of subjects would die off.  Even Jesus is still learning from his Father and perhaps even from us - here on earth and look at the knowledge he has!!!!  But I dare not use that example with him, it wouldn't go down well. 

[shali]

AFter reading all of the suggestions in here I think my best bet is to just wait till there is something he likes well enough that he wants fixed and wait for him to ask me instead of me offering when it happens.  Then perhaps I can offer to see if it is something we can figure out together if he wants.  If he doesn't want, if it's something I can fix, I can clue him in on what is wrong and what it will take to fix it and see if he wants to do it after that.  If he wants me to still fix it on my own, I will and I'll let him know the problem and the solution so he is informed (if he wants to be) in case it happens again.  It's a starting point.  I just hope I can grit my teeth and bear it - because more than a few things are gonna end up being thrown out that I know don't need to be and that is where my self-control must kick in!

[Witness1970]

13 hours ago, shali said:

The thought that I don't accept him is abhorant to me. I accept everything about him including his OCD.  It sounds to me that he isn't accepting me as I am, but, since I'm the wife, the blame falls on me I guess.  Time to dumb it down and allow wastefulness in our lives.

 

It may not be a question of whether or not you are accepting him as he is, it may be a question of whether he feels like he is being accepted as he is.  The comment that you were treating him like a baby really means that he does not feel manly for some reason.  Do not accept it as being your fault.  People have different ways of looking at things.

 

I can not analyze things between you and your husband.  I was just making a suggestion that works for some people.  It may have nothing to do with your situation.

[timpin]

Apple Techs   ...  Help needed please! ... On my iMac I can separate my contacts by creating "groups" then drag the individual contact into the appropriate group, then it will show up that way on my iPhone and iPad also. - I have not been able to do this Directly on my mobile devices ! ? *** Has anyone figured out how this can be done directly on an iPhone without going through my mac first?

[shali]

3 hours ago, timpin said:

Apple Techs   ...  Help needed please! ... On my iMac I can separate my contacts by creating "groups" then drag the individual contact into the appropriate group, then it will show up that way on my iPhone and iPad also. - I have not been able to do this Directly on my mobile devices ! ? *** Has anyone figured out how this can be done directly on an iPhone without going through my mac first?

I think you got this theard mixed up with a "tech help" thread!!