Do you believe in soul mate? Did God intend people to find soul mates?

[Hope]

53 minutes ago, Brother Jack said:

I never dance with sisters at gatherings because some will think you’re trying to marry them lol

 

A sister (married) once asked me how could I dance with a brother with nothing weird happening. She could only imagine dancing with her husband - which is good...

 

I told her the trick is to avoid looking into their eyes.  If you're just groovin' along, talking about other people who are dancing, complaining about the music 😉 , you can have a nice dance, part ways after and it won't be any trickier than doing the Electric Slide! 

 

I haven't been to a gathering or reception where anyone danced in many years.  People don't do it anymore, it seems.    Those were highlights of my teen years, however.

[EccentricM]

11 minutes ago, Hope said:

People don't do it anymore, it seems

Yes, it's sad.

[Cushi]

I’m so glad I didn’t get married during the bloom of youth or when I was having bouts of loneliness. I most likely would have used bad judgement. Now I’m happy being single. I’ve always been touched by the account in Genesis where Jehovah chose a wife for Isaac and I have been praying for Jehovah to pick a wife for me in the new world. 

The problem I thought was if we aren’t talking directly to Jehovah (before the 1,000 years are up) or having the princes communicate to Jehovah for us, how will I know the woman Jehovah has picked for me. I even wondered if it were reasonable to expect something like that to happen and pass up a spiritually minded, beautiful sister hoping for something to happen that won’t. 

My father and I talked about this about 30 minutes ago and he assured me that based on Psalm 37:4, Jehovah will ‘grant me the desires of my heart’ if I love and serve him faithfully. I actually thought the same thing when I read that scripture again about a year ago. 

 

Then I had a light bulb moment. All I have to do is ask Jehovah to have a spiritually mature brother introduce me to a sister and not have anyone else try to do so. That’s how I’ll know she’s “heaven sent.” Problem solved. 

The reason why I want Jehovah to pick a wife for me is because he knows me better than anyone else and knows my taste. If he picks her she will be spiritually minded, extremely beautiful and will be perfectly compatible with me. I’ll just have to wait on Jehovah. I’m willing to wait as long as it takes, whether it’s right away in the new world or decades later. I don’t see the point of rushing to get married if it’s going to be a permanent union. I just have to make it to the new world 🙂

[Cushi]

10 minutes ago, EccentricM said:

Yes, it's sad.

Yes, it is sad. We get down in the south 🎷 

[EccentricM]

Just now, Brother Jack said:

Yes, it is sad. We get down in the south 🎷 

Everyone here is too afraid to let loose. But it's a typical British cultural problem. Most people don't dance, even in the world... unless they're drunk on high on something. "Stiff upperlipness". I recall when some of the faster Kingdom songs came out, some brothers and sisters were even slightly stumbled by it (I recall one who said "it's quite churchy isn't it?"), and others were afraid to move to the music and were looking at each other. Lol.   

 

I like watching some of the older shows out the US, like Soul Train, and I think to myself "why can't we be like that?!" Most people these days are into watching "break dancing", which is skillfull in its own right, but to me that's just doing acrobatics with music in the background, not "dancing". People have lost the "soul" and the "rhythm".

 

 

[Hope]

31 minutes ago, Brother Jack said:

I’m so glad I didn’t get married during the bloom of youth or when I was having bouts of loneliness. I most likely would have used bad judgement. Now I’m happy being single. I’ve always been touched by the account in Genesis where Jehovah chose a wife for Isaac and I have been praying for Jehovah to pick a wife for me in the new world. 

The problem I thought was if we aren’t talking directly to Jehovah (before the 1,000 years are up) or having the princes communicate to Jehovah for us, how will I know the woman Jehovah has picked for me. I even wondered if it were reasonable to expect something like that to happen and pass up a spiritually minded, beautiful sister hoping for something to happen that won’t. 

My father and I talked about this about 30 minutes ago and he assured me that based on Psalm 37:4, Jehovah will ‘grant me the desires of my heart’ if I love and serve him faithfully. I actually thought the same thing when I read that scripture again about a year ago. 

 

Then I had a light bulb moment. All I have to do is ask Jehovah to have a spiritually mature brother introduce me to a sister and not have anyone else try to do so. That’s how I’ll know she’s “heaven sent.” Problem solved. 

The reason why I want Jehovah to pick a wife for me is because he knows me better than anyone else and knows my taste. If he picks her she will be spiritually minded, extremely beautiful and will be perfectly compatible with me. I’ll just have to wait on Jehovah. I’m willing to wait as long as it takes, whether it’s right away in the new world or decades later. I don’t see the point of rushing to get married if it’s going to be a permanent union. I just have to make it to the new world 🙂

 

I tend to believe that even in the New World, Jehovah will continue to allow us to make our own choices regarding mates.  He arranged VERY few marriages in the Bible - Adam's, Isaac's, maybe Ruth's? Everyone else pretty much married whomever they wished, for better or worse, including even Jesus' parents, since they were engaged before Mary was pregnant.  I'm not sure that the belief that Jehovah has mates picked out for us quite holds water. He is not a celestial matchmaker...  

 

What we *can* pray for in this system and the next is for maturity, soundness and clarity of mind, maybe a "fleece test" to be sure in our hearts about someone. And to be the sort of person another would choose, one that would enhance their life just like we hope they will enhance ours.  Then live a life, make ourselves available to be where spiritual men and women are, do what they're doing and we'll more likely find someone that we could imagine life with.  Jehovah gives us all the tools required to measure and become a good mate; we just have to use those tools and trust the process.  I don't see that really changing that much - ever.

 

But... I could be wrong    🤷‍♀️

[Cushi]

23 minutes ago, Hope said:

 

I tend to believe that even in the New World, Jehovah will continue to allow us to make our own choices regarding mates.  He arranged VERY few marriages in the Bible - Adam's, Isaac's, maybe Ruth's? Everyone else pretty much married whomever they wished, for better or worse, including even Jesus' parents, since they were engaged before Mary was pregnant.  I'm not sure that the belief that Jehovah has mates picked out for us quite holds water. He is not a celestial matchmaker...  

 

What we *can* pray for in this system and the next is for maturity, soundness and clarity of mind, maybe a "fleece test" to be sure in our hearts about someone. And to be the sort of person another would choose, one that would enhance their life just like we hope they will enhance ours.  Then live a life, make ourselves available to be where spiritual men and women are, do what they're doing and we'll more likely find someone that we could imagine life with.  Jehovah gives us all the tools required to measure and become a good mate; we just have to use those tools and trust the process.  I don't see that really changing that much - ever.

 

But... I could be wrong    🤷‍♀️

Booo! 👎🏾 

[carlos]

5 hours ago, Naturale said:

What is considered too forward?  What do men really want?  Do some men not want a sister they like to do anything at all?

I guess every person is different. Some brothers will be attracted to a sister who takes the initiative, others won't. There is not a formula that works with everybody.

[Cushi]

I personally find a sister taking the initiative a little emasculating because the sister is taking on the role I’m supposed to be doing.

[Lewis]

4 hours ago, Naturale said:

This is true but ...  it's hard to tell if someone likes you or not initially.   It seems some men don't want sisters to be obviously interested?  How do you know how friendly to be?  How friendly is forward?  How friendly is backward? Friendly can be seen as desperate.  Seemingly unfriendly (as in trying to be mysterious) can be seen as not interested or arrogant. Smiling too much can be seen as lunacy.  Not smiling can be seen as misery.   Is there a standard set of ways to behave that work?  

It's not women that are complicated - it's men!

I think largely too, we need to read into body language and try to understand the nonverbal signals of attraction. Major part of our communication comes through body language, i think I remember the percentage was like 68% that we use body language to send signals, this was from a communications course that I took years ago. 

[Leon J]

As others have said, the whole notion of "The One" or a person your are destined to be with seems a little odd from a biblical point of view.

 

I am however in an "arranged" marriage. How so do you ask?

After a 5 year period of "hunting" for a mate, a broken engagement, out right disasters and other stuff normal to young idiot men, I just gave up and focused on the Kingdom like I was supposed to be doing anyway. I figured i'd reach out to go to MTS (at the time) or continue working with the quick build (at the time) crew and maybe re-apply to return to Bethel or go wherever was needed.

I don't think it was months after that resolution that I was working on a build and the leader of our drywall crew joked something like 'Your a good hardworking brother, you should marry my daughter'. Not one to pass up free advice I said sure," but she hates my guts because apparently I'd been rude to her sometime in the past."  26 years later i still don't believe in silly romance, soul mate's, whatever neither does she. but we believe in love.

I also believe my father-in-law has good advice sometimes.

 

[nanceebgd46]

Brother Leon,

  That is one of the most serendipitous encounters....with a wonderful conclusion I've every heard.....who would of thunk it!

It must have been your fortuitous day.....along with your to be wife!

[Hope]

2 hours ago, Brother Jack said:

I personally find a sister taking the initiative a little emasculating because the sister is taking on the role I’m supposed to be doing.

 

Curious - what does "taking the initiative" look like to you, personally?

 

How would you determine if a sister is interested/would take your approach in a positive way?

[daydream]

 

 

1

On 4/17/2019 at 1:05 AM, Bek said:

 

 

Sister Anne, sorry to hear about your dog's passing away. I used your nickname because I could not see your real name on my phone.

I think I would want a Schepperke for a pet, as it is larger and seems to be more into guarding and herding. I don't think it would be nice for a man of my size walking around with a teeny dog.  

 

As you know, there is a clubs feature on this forum and I wanted to set up a pets club, but as a limited user, I cannot do that. I think there will be quite a few pet/animal lovers here who would happily join and share their stories/photos of their pets. I would be delighted to read about the brothers and sisters' pets. 

 

   

Dear Br. Bek, 

I love it when brothers address me by my 'pet' name. I also know you like to go by your pet name 'Bek' given by your Grams.

 

About the Pets club, I don't know if I'm qualified because I no longer have a dog. 2 unfriendly cats in the house doesn't count. They loved my Aspies hubby though because he doesn't touch them. All cats hate been touched. Some will tolerate it. But I'm a touchy-feely kind of person and those 2, Miu Miu and Lucy (short for Lucifer) loath to sit on my lap. 

I like tiny toy dogs but it will be costly if they need any surgery. Everything about them is super microscopic. I googled up the schipperke, a Belgian breed. I don't like long-haired dogs because of the grooming cost. I once bought a pair of clippers to trim my long-haired dog. Too troublesome.

Smaller dogs (4 kg)  like mine live up to 18 years. The bigger the dog the shorter the life span. 

I had to carry my dog around a bit when she grew old and had cancer. Some people put their dogs in a baby stroller (heart problems, etc.)

Be prepared to give your furkid, home cooked food. 

Hope you will get your pet companion soon. 

Note to moderator : Hey, pets also count as soul mates. Woof!

Edited April 18, 2019 by M'Awan

[daydream]

How about an animals lovers club? Almost everyone loves animals, even those without a pet. 

 

[daydream]

Hi Bek,

I just opened (with much trepidation) a new club.

Our family pets and other animals. Or something along that line. That is what you get when you ask a wacky donkey to do work for you.

 

Now is my turn to ask you. What do you think? It hasn't been approved yet. 

I'm having cold feet. Yay

 

 

Edited April 18, 2019 by M'Awan

[Bek]

8 minutes ago, M'Awan said:

Hi Bek,

I just opened (with much trepidation) a new club.

Our family pets and other animals. Or something along that line. That is what you get when you ask a wacky donkey to do work for you.

 

Now is my turn to ask you. What do you think? It hasn't been approved yet. 

I'm having cold feet. Yay

 

 

Hi M'Awan,

 

Wow, that is good news! I think you have done a good job and the title sounds great. Looking forward to joining it when it gets approved. 

 

Thank you, Sister, for starting the club. Yay

 

[daydream]

My chinese name in Mandarin is Ying (Clouds) and Ching (Peace). Awan is cloud in Malay. M is my beloved dog. It's Mikki's cloud mother.

Thank you for your encouragement. Just giving you a leg up in your journey towards full membership. 

So looking forward to welcoming you and so many pet owners onboard. Yes, our own Noah's ark. 

Edited April 18, 2019 by M'Awan

[daydream]

Hey, Bek. I have no idea how to post on our newly minted club. Is it the same as posting on the forum? I'm really flummoxed. Maybe you could do me the courtesy by leading the way.

This old dog is lost.

 

[daydream]

Silly me didn't bother to read the instructions for running the club. So now I have set up a discussion board for young single brother looking for a 4 legged soul mates. No prizes for guessing who it is.

So folks, come on over and join the fun. 

Step right over into Macedonia. 

[Bek]

1 hour ago, M'Awan said:

Silly me didn't bother to read the instructions for running the club. So now I have set up a discussion board for young single brother looking for a 4 legged soul mates. No prizes for guessing who it is.

So folks, come on over and join the fun. 

Step right over into Macedonia. 

Sister Anne, just wanted to let you know that I am not single. Sorry for the misunderstanding. The things I have said were said hypothetically.

 

As for my status, my wife walked out on me three years ago because she could not cope with my illness. Sadly, I learnt three days ago that she had filed for divorce despite my pleas and resistance all these years. The court hearing is set for 3 May. But I do not know if I will be able to live long enough, as my condition is getting worse by the day now.

 

Edited April 18, 2019 by Bek

[Hope]

Ummm... these pet posts are in the wrong thread, I think...

[Cushi]

14 hours ago, Hope said:

 

Curious - what does "taking the initiative" look like to you, personally?

 

Simply put aggressively showing interest. I’ll give you 2 examples that happened to me. Some time ago there was a sister that would be very aggressive when I saw her at every assembly. She would sit by me during the program. During lunch she would follow me outside and eat with me and make small talk. This really got on my nerves because I prefer to eat by myself at the assembly’s. When she saw me she would hug me and I didn’t even know her! 

Then there was this sister who used to meet at the hall next door. I went over there to say hi to some of the friends. There was a brother I was talking to in a group of friends. This sister whom I had seen for the first time in the group started making small talk with me. She said “let me get your number. Us single folks need to get out and do stuff together.” Looking back on it I think how did she even know I wasn’t courting a sister? 

She would text me making small talk or after she saw me at a meeting. One time the subject of marriage came up. I took the opportunity to tell her that I wasn’t interested in marriage and she didn’t like that too much.

Having your friend approach a brother or try to pair you up is being too forward too. Usually very young sisters are the ones that do that. 

Most of the time when a man rejects a woman she wonders what’s wrong with her, if he didn’t find her pretty enough. That’s not always the case. These sisters were pretty. I’m just not interested in marriage. 

 

What I couldn’t understand was these sisters were acting this way and they knew nothing about me. If I’m going to approach a sister, best believe I’ve been observing her and know something about her spirituality. 

 

14 hours ago, Hope said:

How would you determine if a sister is interested/would take your approach in a positive way?

I’m very good at reading body language. It’s not hard to tell if a sister likes you. You can tell by the way she looks at you when you talk to her. The way she laughs at the things you say. You might even catch her constantly looking at you when you’re handling the mics or something. I’m a hugger and I often hug sisters once I get to know them. If you go in for a hug and she’s reluctant to hug you back, she may not be a hugger and like you in a romantic way. If I’m interested in a sister and can tell by her body language that she likes me too. I’ll act on that.

[EccentricM]

1 hour ago, Brother Jack said:

Most of the time when a man rejects a woman she wonders what’s wrong with her, if he didn’t find her pretty enough.

It's funny how some of us have different thoughts when rejected. For me it's the opposite, and when I'm rejected I'm afraid she thinks there is something wrong with my personality, or that she may see me as unspiritual, or othwise "odd" somehow to her.

Edited April 18, 2019 by EccentricM

[Hope]

38 minutes ago, EccentricM said:

It's funny how some of us have different thoughts when rejected. For me it's the opposite, and when I'm rejected I'm afraid she thinks there is something wrong with my personality, or that she may see me as unspiritual, or othwise "odd" somehow to her.

 

That's probably male vs. female reasoning.  Men think it's their personality or other oddness about them that women reject.  Women think it's their appearance or other physical aspect that men reject.  Because quite often - both reasonings are true to a greater or lesser extent..