Do you feel included in your co-workers' conversations?

[Doak]

I'm in a new job with a few people, a more family-owned company. I've always worked in jobs with lots of people where the workers barely knew each other, or in jobs where I was alone with one or two people. But I recently came to a job where we are like 10 people in the office, along with the warehouse and electromechanical workers. But at lunchtime, only office workers have lunch together (and I'm included). I happen to be "forced" to socialize with them, but the problem is that I don't fit into any of their mundane conversations. I'm not saying they talk about immorality or swear, but they have conversations typical of people without a spiritual mindset. Carnal and hopeless talk, you know? I end up being silent all the time during lunch and I feel like my colleagues think I'm antisocial or something. But I'm not, because with brothers or people with good conversations I can talk and interact. I just don't have a topic or I don't fit into their conversations.

 

Do any of you go through or have been through a situation like this? What do/did you do to combat this "social displacement"?

 

Thanks for all the answers you give me!

[M.J.]

Just because something isn't spiritual doesn't mean it's automatically mundane.

I'm not sure what you mean by 'carnal and hopeless talk'...

There are many neutral subjects to talk about: the weather, sports, family's health and well being, what everyone did for the weekend, vacations, food, local current events...I guess it depends on how open-minded and flexible you are willing to be.

I spoke to a sister who was doing Metropolitan witnessing, and she told us that the instructions were specifically: You don't have to have a spiritual conversation the first time. The goal was to simply let the community get to know us as human beings, as neighbors. Chit chat with the cashier, and it doesn't have to be anything spiritual, focus on building rapport first.  

 

Personally, I've tried to follow the flow of the conversation and add whatever I can....sometimes I can add, sometimes I can't...but it would be strange to be the only person not talking...I wouldn't want anyone to get the wrong idea and think that JW are anti-social.

After building some familiarity, if it feels right, when everyone talks about the weekend, I also talk about my weekend and my experiences in the field service. I think they find it interesting to get an inside scoop from our point of view

They don't have to agree with the teaching...I'm just relating what happened in my life and any positive response I had from a householder. I keep it light and don't say anything overly personal, and if possible, I tell humorous things that have happened to me in service - and that has always given me very positive feedback. My boss said she saw a whole new side of me she didn't know 🙂

 

Edited September 9, 2022 by M.J.

[SoCal4me2]

On 9/8/2022 at 11:52 PM, M.J. said:

Just because something isn't spiritual doesn't mean it's automatically mundane.

I'm not sure what you mean by 'carnal and hopeless talk'...

There are many neutral subjects to talk about: the weather, sports, family's health and well being, what everyone did for the weekend, vacations, food, local current events...I guess it depends on how open-minded and flexible you are willing to be.

I spoke to a sister who was doing Metropolitan witnessing, and she told us that the instructions were specifically: You don't have to have a spiritual conversation the first time. The goal was to simply let the community get to know us as human beings, as neighbors. Chit chat with the cashier, and it doesn't have to be anything spiritual, focus on building rapport first.  

 

Personally, I've tried to follow the flow of the conversation and add whatever I can....sometimes I can add, sometimes I can't...but it would be strange to be the only person not talking...I wouldn't want anyone to get the wrong idea and think that JW are anti-social.

After building some familiarity, if it feels right, when everyone talks about the weekend, I also talk about my weekend and my experiences in the field service. I think they find it interesting to get an inside scoop from our point of view

They don't have to agree with the teaching...I'm just relating what happened in my life and any positive response I had from a householder. I keep it light and don't say anything overly personal, and if possible, I tell humorous things that have happened to me in service - and that has always given me very positive feedback. My boss said she saw a whole new side of me she didn't know 🙂

 

Spot on! Not only is Jehovah Love, but he has to have an incredible sense of humor! A sense of humor is related to Joy and being Joyful. We want them to know that about us. Just like speaking about our ministry experiences, when I do have the opportunity to share that I am one of Jehovah’ Witnesses I invariably ask for their address and tell them I’ll be over to knock on their door. I do it with a humorous manner and a smile and have always gotten everything from a smile to a great big laugh. That has led to more conversations, but no study yet.
 

But over time I have asked about sending someone a publication or a link and they have agreed. I did have one call me at home (we all have each other’s phone number in case of emergency) and say that she knew that JW’s knew their Bible well and she had a question that she was pretty sure I could answer. I said OK, let me have it! Without any preamble or explanation, she just popped out with “Were Adam and Eve before or after the Flood?”. It was good that I was not drinking anything as I know it would have decorated my coffee table after exiting my nostrils.

 

It is important for them to see us as just folks, almost, but not quite, just like them. While profanity is not common in the office, the jobs can occasionally have their high stress moments that bring it out. When that has happened when I’m present it has never failed that the person has apologized directly and immediately to me for it. I thank them and we move on. I have been fortunate for most of my life to work in offices and have excellent supervisors and managers. Hopefully you will have good experiences there at your new situation.

 

Pray for conversational openings! we are told to be specific in our prayers. Sounds like a scene that is made for specific prayers.

 

Best success to you Daniel my brother!