Caution! Our Words May Have Much More Impact Than We are Aware!!

[Beggar for the Spirit]

This scripture provides deep insight into how our words may have much more of an impact on others than we are aware.

Quote

“ Thoughtless speech is like the stabs of a sword,

But the tongue of the wise is a healing.”(Pr 12:18)

The 2nd part of this scripture reveals that your words and my words can be a healing. But, there are different degrees of healing!

For example, you may do your best to find some words of comfort for a brother/sister who lost a loved one in death. You are not sure exactly what to say, but you try to say something kind, loving, comforting. Those words very likely are not going to completely heal the person from all of their great emotional pain, but your words will have some degree of "healing"! Even if your soothing words provide just a brief relief from the emotional pain the person is presently suffering, how grateful they are for that momentary break from such extreme grief! So your words may have much more impact than you may know! 

 

But how about the 1st part of this scripture?

We all know that thoughtless words can hurt someone emotionally or psychologically, similar to how a knife or sword would do damage physically. But here is something profound to consider about how much more of an impact or a "stab" our words can have if we are not careful! This comes from this past week's WT lesson:

Quote

*** w19 June p. 22 par. 9 Help Others Deal With Stress ***
Compassion will hold us back from spreading harmful gossip about the problems others are facing. A gossiper does not build up the congregation; he tears it down. (Prov. 20:19; Rom. 14:19) He is not kind but thoughtless, and his words can injure a person who is already suffering. (Prov. 12:18; Eph. 4:31, 32) How much better it is when we look for a person’s good qualities and think about how we can help him or her deal with trials!

So when we have read this scripture in the past, we may have said to ourselves, "I don't want to speak thoughtlessly and "stab" or injure someone emotionally or psychologically." But now thanks to the FDS, this scripture is even more profound as it can helps us to think like this, "I don't want to speak thoughtlessly and "stab" or injure someone emotionally or psychologically, but especially do I now need to be more aware of how much more impact my words can have because based on this WT, if I thoughtlessly "stab" another person with my words, they likely have already been suffering due to a previous 'stabbing' from someone else!" So imagine you are thoughtlessly using a knife and it stabs a person in the stomach, that is bad. But if that person had just been stabbed in that same area of the stomach a few weeks ago, the stab could be more damaging than we know! And even if our "stabbing' words were unintentional, much more damage can be caused than we may be aware of. 

 

So here is what I learn from this:  

I have to be extra cautious with my words, because in reality, almost every brother/sister has been "stabbed" before in some way!  Who of us has not been "stabbed" in some way by the thoughtless words of others?  So I cannot just say whatever I feel needs to be said, I cannot just speak to someone or post words that are just off the top of my head that have no thought or kindness behind them. Because if do speak thoughtlessly, chances are I am going to do much more than just "stab" a fellow brother/sister, but very likely I will be "stabbing" a brother/sister who has already been stabbed before, already been hurt, causing much more damage to the person than I may even know!  So to each of you my friends, I will try hard to never thoughtlessly "stab" you, especially with the insight that very likely you are either suffering already now! Or you have already been "stabbed" before! Or both! And may each of us be extra cautious from now on because we are more aware now that our words may have much more impact on others than we may know, whether we are posting here on JWtalk or talking to others in the congregation or speaking to our family members. We must try harder to not speak thoughtlessly or post words that stab anyone, because most everyone is already suffering or has been stabbed before. 

Edited September 2, 2019 by Beggar for the Spirit

[carlos]

This is a very good point, Neil.

 

This is especially true of online sites such as this one. When you are only looking at a computer screen rather than the face of the other person it's easy to turn into a keyboard warrior and say bold things we wouldn't dare saying to their face. It's very easy to offend others without even noticing.

 

On the other hand, it's comforting to know that our words can also be a healing for others. I have noticed that some times a simple and sincere comment of praise that didn't cost me anything was a huge encouragement  for a fellow Christian. Some have reminded me of some encouraging comment I told them years ago and that they still remember. I guess others remember things I said that hurt them, I hope they aren't many.

Edited September 2, 2019 by carlos

[Sheep]

Oh,  @carlos you are so right! It's a different world we live in online, and we write things we would never say. This is the first (and only) online social networking site I've ever been a member of, and I've tried to be conscious of that fact since the beginning here. Even with that I know I can slip up anyway. I hope that the times I've offended anyone here were not taken too seriously.

 

Thank you so much for the reminder.

[daydream]

Thanks brothers for your thoughtful words

 

 

One time someone send me a pm, angrily demanding to know why I did what I did on the forum. I was just trying to be helpful and didn't do any wrong. But she wanted to have things done her way. Nothing wrong with that but couldn't she say it  nicely. So I acquiesced to her wishes after apologizing for my so called misstep but I didn't feel good about it.  Obviously still harboring resentment. 

• w86 3/15 pp. 21-23 How Can We Be “Fully Pleasing” to Jehovah?

Need that dose of medicine.

 

What I find helpful before I decide to put up a new topic on the forum is to make a draft on a Word document. After a 2nd reading, I usually delete it because it just seem like a load of rubbish. Sometimes when we decide to say something not so polite, we could use that option. 

I didn't know a word of English until I started primary school at age 7 so I don't feel very confident about my writing. Sorry for my inadequacies. 

I wished folks here wouldn't misuse the pm option to tear down others. It can weigh down on one's spirit. Just have it all out in the open, warts and all. It is also not proper for a forum member ( with limited access status)  to chat via pm to a sister when the subject matter is not upbuilding at all. 

 

I always wondered why so many of our brothers and sisters choose to be lurkers. It is so tempting to be one. 

Nevertheless, good thoughts always.

 

 

Edited September 3, 2019 by M'Awan

[Beggar for the Spirit]

Hi Anne,

You are a good sister and friend here, we like your posts, so no lurking for you, we won't allow it. 

[carlos]

1 hour ago, M'Awan said:

I wished folks here wouldn't misuse the pm option to tear down others. It can weigh down on one's spirit. Just have it all out in the open, warts and all. It is also not proper for a forum member ( with limited access status)  to chat via pm to a sister when the subject matter is not upbuilding at all. 

I'm sorry that you had that bad experience. But I don't agree in the part about having it all out in the open.  When we think someone needs corrected, it's usually better to do it privately. And of course using tact and nice words, it seems the sister could have done it better. 

 

If it ever happens again that you feel uncomfortable with a PM, you can ignore their comment. Or if it is inappropriate you can always report it to the mods and they will take measures.

 

We are glad you are not a lurker. Lurkers are removed from time to time.

 

 

Edited September 3, 2019 by carlos

[daydream]

@Beggar for the Spirit  Wow, such sensitivity. I wished more people would read a little bit from the book 'Men are from Mars...

Sure glad our brothers treat our sisters with such understanding.

@carlos Penning the post at 3 am, I got carried away. Thanks for putting up with me. 

[JennyM]

8 hours ago, M'Awan said:

Thanks brothers for your thoughtful words

 

 

One time someone send me a pm, angrily demanding to know why I did what I did on the forum. I was just trying to be helpful and didn't do any wrong. But she wanted to have things done her way. Nothing wrong with that but couldn't she say it  nicely. So I acquiesced to her wishes after apologizing for my so called misstep but I didn't feel good about it.  Obviously still harboring resentment. 

• w86 3/15 pp. 21-23 How Can We Be “Fully Pleasing” to Jehovah?

Need that dose of medicine.

 

What I find helpful before I decide to put up a new topic on the forum is to make a draft on a Word document. After a 2nd reading, I usually delete it because it just seem like a load of rubbish. Sometimes when we decide to say something not so polite, we could use that option. 

I didn't know a word of English until I started primary school at age 7 so I don't feel very confident about my writing. Sorry for my inadequacies. 

I wished folks here wouldn't misuse the pm option to tear down others. It can weigh down on one's spirit. Just have it all out in the open, warts and all. It is also not proper for a forum member ( with limited access status)  to chat via pm to a sister when the subject matter is not upbuilding at all. 

 

I always wondered why so many of our brothers and sisters choose to be lurkers. It is so tempting to be one. 

Nevertheless, good thoughts always.

 

 

I ignore pm that is not upbuilding especially if its accusation. 

Jehovah knows me but a person cannot fully knows me. 

 

 

[blue-jay]

5 hours ago, JennyM said:

I ignore pm that is not upbuilding especially if its accusation. 

Jehovah knows me but a person cannot fully knows me. 

 

 

That's a good suggestion. 

A while ago I received a private message from someone that said that I should recognize the error in judgement on my part and attempt to make amends. And more things like that. For nicely stating a personal opinion. It was crazy.

It came as a shock. It was totally unfounded. But I tried to settle it peacefully which didn't work out so well which also upset me a bit. Next time I'd ignore something like that. 

I mostly lurk now.

 

[JennyM]

2 hours ago, blue-jay said:

That's a good suggestion. 

A while ago I received a private message from someone that said that I should recognize the error in judgement on my part and attempt to make amends. And more things like that. For nicely stating a personal opinion. It was crazy.

It came as a shock. It was totally unfounded. But I tried to settle it peacefully which didn't work out so well which also upset me a bit. Next time I'd ignore something like that. 

I mostly lurk now.

 

Lol! I only accept judgement from  Jehovah... I mostly see myself from the bible.. 

Lets be careful.. We don't know whom we  are really talking to online...  That discouraging pm might be not  from a true Christian anymore... We are all strangers online... 

 

Remember,  that some zealous person in Russia before was actually a spy of the Soviet Union .. (I don't remember exactly from my memory but it happened even in the organization)....

Satan can use anyone to discourage  us whether someone in the congregation or from online.. 

 

Bible reading helps me to focus more positive.. What Jehovah really thought about  me? not just from someone online... 

[blue-jay]

1 hour ago, JennyM said:

 

 

Bible reading helps me to focus more positive.. What Jehovah really thought about  me? not just from someone online... 

That's so true!

[Beggar for the Spirit]

8 hours ago, blue-jay said:

I mostly lurk now.

Hi Sister Jay, 

You have had more impact here than you may realize. You have made about 1200 posts!

And you have had over 1600 positive reactions from those posts! 

And also very important is that you have commended many others by giving over 1800 positive reactions to others! 

So you are a valued sister here!

 

But if you only "mostly lurk now", then this would be like a city that has many "Blue-Jays" but then these wonderful birds decide one day to no longer live there and just visit once in a while. How the city would miss those Blue-Jays! So if you just lurk, then you will take away the only wonderful Blue-Jay we have. 

 

Edited September 4, 2019 by Beggar for the Spirit

[blue-jay]

41 minutes ago, Beggar for the Spirit said:

 1200 posts,over 1600 positive reactions,over 1800 positive reactions 

So you are a valued sister here!

 

 

Thank you for that post! That means a lot. What very nice words 😊

And I had no idea that it was possible to see those statistics. 

[Sheep]

13 hours ago, blue-jay said:

. . . Next time I'd ignore something like that.

If you have your profile set to receive an email notifications for a PM, you can read it in your email rather than here. And if it's one of those less-pleasant messages, you won't even have to look at it next time you login. Just go in to your PMs, put a checkmark next to the offending message on the left, and delete it without even looking at it. The person who sent it will only see that you have "left the conversation." I'm not sure but I think they will also see that their message was never read. It might not be a "nice" way to handle it, but it would be nicer than their message was.

 

4 hours ago, blue-jay said:

Thank you for that post! That means a lot. What very nice words 😊

And I had no idea that it was possible to see those statistics. 

Anyone can see how many posts you've written (at this point 1,199), or how many reactions to posts you've given (1,808), and how many reactions you've received (1,656), by looking at your profile page. It's all there. It just might take a while for you to find it all, especially the number of reactions given.

 

Edited September 5, 2019 by Sheep
stat correction

[Omoyeme]

1 hour ago, Sheep said:

If you have your profile set to receive an email notifications for a PM, you can read it in your email rather than here. And if it's one of those less-pleasant messages, you won't even have to look at it next time you login. Just go in to your PMs, put a checkmark next to the offending message on the left, and delete it without even looking at it. The person who sent it will only see that you have "left the conversation." I'm not sure but I think they will also see that their message was never read. It might not be a "nice" way to handle it, but it would be nicer than their message was.

 

What an excellent suggestion! 

 

[Miss Bea]

These are my brothers and sisters. I try to treat them as I would treat anyone at the hall. 

I know our dear moderators are kept busy, trying to make sure the are all behaving themselves. And, that is so appreciated. But, I sort of think like we all think. The bottom line is how we treat another, before Jehovah. 

[Newtonian]

On ‎9‎/‎2‎/‎2019 at 5:01 AM, carlos said:

This is a very good point, Neil.

 

This is especially true of online sites such as this one. When you are only looking at a computer screen rather than the face of the other person it's easy to turn into a keyboard warrior and say bold things we wouldn't dare saying to their face. It's very easy to offend others without even noticing.

 

On the other hand, it's comforting to know that our words can also be a healing for others. I have noticed that some times a simple and sincere comment of praise that didn't cost me anything was a huge encouragement  for a fellow Christian. Some have reminded me of some encouraging comment I told them years ago and that they still remember. I guess others remember things I said that hurt them, I hope they aren't many.

Sobering warning!    We also have to be careful our words might be misunderstood, as has happened to me repeatedly on this forum.

 

Sorry about that, btw.

 

Seriously.

[Newtonian]

On ‎9‎/‎9‎/‎2019 at 2:02 AM, Miss Bea said:

These are my brothers and sisters. I try to treat them as I would treat anyone at the hall. 

I know our dear moderators are kept busy, trying to make sure the are all behaving themselves. And, that is so appreciated. But, I sort of think like we all think. The bottom line is how we treat another, before Jehovah. 

And that is a treat!😉