A Poem From My Past

[Timl1980]

Little by little...I will share a few poems I wrote during my years in prison...and since. I am choosing to share this one first because, while it is deeply personal and instantly evokes emotions and memories that I have tried hard to forget...it captures a moment in time...the very moment when I finally decided to return to Jehovah. 

 

I wrote it from a place of deep pain...and yet also a place of dawning comprehension. Please read it with the following caution: I was still in the world...I was still covered in Satan's mud from head to toe...but I was finally sick of the smell, sick of feeling disgusting...I was finally able to see what my own choices and decisions had done to me. So, without further ado...I present my poem: (Please excuse my poor formatting, I did my best😬)

 

                                                                                                                             Fading Away

 

                                                                                Memories paint a picture of a childhood lost at an early age,

                                               Worries and self-doubts became nightmarish dragons which no child should be forced to slay

 

                                                                                Bad associations and worse decisions turned into two versions of me

                                                                                               while the true Timothy began slowly fading away

 

                                                                                      @@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@

 

                                                                 Change in residence brought with it a change in all I'd ever known and left me stunned, Loving

                                                                            one of the ones who sent me while trying to find ways to make the other one pay

 

                                                                               Revenge became acceptable in any form or fashion, But all the 

                                                                                        while the true Timothy kept slowly fading away

 

                                                                                     @@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@

 

                                          Inappropriate thoughts brought about improper actions, Finally thought I had met the girl of my dreams only to realize 

                                                                           too late that maturity and responsibility are the tools and love was the clay

 

                                                             But because of my failure a life was lost, The bottle in my hand and the tears which streaked my face

                                                         brought no relief as my only daughter's heart ceased to beat and the true Timothy continued fading away

                                                           

                                                                                   @@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@

 

                                                               Emptiness turned to pain and a loss which like acid burned everything that it touched, Life became

                                                                              meaningless as money and pride ruled every moment of every hour of every day

 

                                                                Death or prison became the only acceptable anthem that consumed my very being even

                                                                                                    as the true Timothy continued fading away

 

                                                                                    @@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@

 

                                            Where I am now is not who I am and I will not allow its shadow to darken my every step nor will I accept that I am somehow

                                               chained to my past, True forgiveness is Jehovah's alone to give and so, With what little sanity I can muster...Faithfully I 

                                                                                                                          have continued to pray

 

                                      Daily pleas for the little girl that I was never able to hold and for my parents who taught me the meaning of generosity and compassion, For 

                                            these I want happiness even if this would mean that the true Timothy must end what he himself began...By completely fading away

                                                            

                                                                                  @@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@

[Naruwa]

Just read this. So touching and nothing wrong with the format. So glad the True Timothy is back with Jehovah. Thank you for sharing. 

[Snufkin]

Very moving and inspiring. Sometimes we have to taste despair, to make us reach out and "Taste and see that Jehovah is good." I can identify with your sadness and pain, having been at rock bottom, and wishing for death. Welcome home dear brother. This is where you belong.

 

I wish you continuing peace and joy from Jehovah.

 

Steve

[Del]

Your words....cut deep into my soul....to  feel such pain is heartbreaking...it leaves us broken....i am so happy...that in spite of being broken you saw the light....you showed such courage and fortitude of spirit....and you didnt allow this experience to suck you deeper and deeper into a guagmire of despair....i am so happy you took hold of Jehovah's hand and let him rescue you....and now you are " engraved on his hand" i know someone who has known the streets as his home...who was beaten so badly he suffers from a back injury that has left him partially unable to walk....he is destitute with no job and literally has to beg for money to buy water...he still has faith in God...Jehovah sees his plight and will give him his daily needs. May Jehovah bless your efforts to please him and may he heal your hurts physically and emotionally 🙏🏻🌻

[Timl1980]

Here is another poem I wrote years ago...I just decided to post one today...hopefully it will touch someone. This poem is about the feelings and thoughts I wrote for someone who had been cheated on by their spouse...please let me know what you think:

 

                                                                                                                      Shattered 

 

                                                       How could I have let this happen? How could I have let you become my whole world?

 

                                                        Like ashes in my mouth, My love for you is gone, Vanished without a trace along with 

                                                                                                       that final insult you just hurled   

 

                                                      This silence is deadly and bittersweet, The only light I see comes from the pieces of

                                                                                                  us as they drift slowly to the floor  

 

                                                     Shards of love and laughter glinting through the gloom, Illuminating faces torn between

                                                                           hatred and a passion which shakes us to our core

 

                                                        Walking away does no good, Your heart is mine...and the further we're apart...The 

                                                                                                            deeper flows my pain

 

                                              But the two of us together is no longer an option, Anger has spread like cancer, Words and

                                                         deeds which cannot be taken back are falling around us like a stinging acid rain 

 

                                                The one thing I don't understand is how you can just stand there, Frightened of that which

                                                                 you helped destroy while still insisting that none of it ever truly mattered

 

                                             Then suddenly the truth hits me like a slap across the face, You fear that which you cannot command,

                                                        conquer and control, And as the pieces settle to the ground I realize that my heart

                                                                                is fine, It's yours lying there broken, scared and alone,

                                                                                       For just as you recognized how true love felt... 

                                                                                                                    it shattered     

           

                                                    

 

 

                                                                                                                             

                                                                                                         

 

                                                           

 

 

                                                   

 

 

 

[Dolce vita]

16 hours ago, Timl1980 said:

Here is another poem I wrote years ago...I just decided to post one today...hopefully it will touch someone. This poem is about the feelings and thoughts I wrote for someone who had been cheated on by their spouse...please let me know what you think:

 

                                                                                                                      Shattered 

 

                                                       How could I have let this happen? How could I have let you become my whole world?

 

                                                        Like ashes in my mouth, My love for you is gone, Vanished without a trace along with 

                                                                                                       that final insult you just hurled   

 

                                                      This silence is deadly and bittersweet, The only light I see comes from the pieces of

                                                                                                  us as they drift slowly to the floor  

 

                                                     Shards of love and laughter glinting through the gloom, Illuminating faces torn between

                                                                           hatred and a passion which shakes us to our core

 

                                                        Walking away does no good, Your heart is mine...and the further we're apart...The 

                                                                                                            deeper flows my pain

 

                                              But the two of us together is no longer an option, Anger has spread like cancer, Words and

                                                         deeds which cannot be taken back are falling around us like a stinging acid rain 

 

                                                The one thing I don't understand is how you can just stand there, Frightened of that which

                                                                 you helped destroy while still insisting that none of it ever truly mattered

 

                                             Then suddenly the truth hits me like a slap across the face, You fear that which you cannot command,

                                                        conquer and control, And as the pieces settle to the ground I realize that my heart

                                                                                is fine, It's yours lying there broken, scared and alone,

                                                                                       For just as you recognized how true love felt... 

                                                                                                                    it shattered     

           

                                                    

 

 

                                                                                                                             

                                                                                                         

 

                                                           

 

 

                                                   

 

 

 

This is a beautiful poem, Brother Tim, and no doubt those who have experienced this kind of heartbreak can attest to its accuracy. I appreciated what some of the lines seemed to say, such as this one: 'How could I let you become my whole world?' I thought, as I read it, that if we applied it to Jehovah, then we would not make any mistake. With humans there is risk, with Jehovah there is none. I also liked the twist at the end of the poem, when the person realizes that he is free from that bond, while the one who has hurt the relationship will remain enslaved to it for some time.

Thank you, brother Poet. 

[Miss Bea]

3 hours ago, Dolce vita said:

This is a beautiful poem, Brother Tim, and no doubt those who have experienced this kind of heartbreak can attest to its accuracy. I appreciated what some of the lines seemed to say, such as this one: 'How could I let you become my whole world?' I thought, as I read it, that if we applied it to Jehovah, then we would not make any mistake. With humans there is risk, with Jehovah there is none. I also liked the twist at the end of the poem, when the person realizes that he is free from that bond, while the one who has hurt the relationship will remain enslaved to it for some time.

Thank you, brother Poet. 

I have ever so many, “favorites”, on this site. At this moment, here are two of them! (I have a long list of, “favorites”. You, my dear reader, are among them)

[Dolce vita]

5 hours ago, Miss Bea said:

I have ever so many, “favorites”, on this site. At this moment, here are two of them! (I have a long list of, “favorites”. You, my dear reader, are among them)

 😘😘😘😘@Miss Bea

[Andre77]

On 1/12/2025 at 9:12 PM, Timl1980 said:

Here is another poem I wrote years ago...I just decided to post one today...hopefully it will touch someone. This poem is about the feelings and thoughts I wrote for someone who had been cheated on by their spouse...please let me know what you think:

 

                                                                                                                      Shattered 

 

                                                       How could I have let this happen? How could I have let you become my whole world?

 

                                                        Like ashes in my mouth, My love for you is gone, Vanished without a trace along with 

                                                                                                       that final insult you just hurled   

 

                                                      This silence is deadly and bittersweet, The only light I see comes from the pieces of

                                                                                                  us as they drift slowly to the floor  

 

                                                     Shards of love and laughter glinting through the gloom, Illuminating faces torn between

                                                                           hatred and a passion which shakes us to our core

 

                                                        Walking away does no good, Your heart is mine...and the further we're apart...The 

                                                                                                            deeper flows my pain

 

                                              But the two of us together is no longer an option, Anger has spread like cancer, Words and

                                                         deeds which cannot be taken back are falling around us like a stinging acid rain 

 

                                                The one thing I don't understand is how you can just stand there, Frightened of that which

                                                                 you helped destroy while still insisting that none of it ever truly mattered

 

                                             Then suddenly the truth hits me like a slap across the face, You fear that which you cannot command,

                                                        conquer and control, And as the pieces settle to the ground I realize that my heart

                                                                                is fine, It's yours lying there broken, scared and alone,

                                                                                       For just as you recognized how true love felt... 

                                                                                                                    it shattered     

           

                                                    

 

 

                                                                                                                             

                                                                                                         

 

                                                           

 

 

                                                   

 

 

 

Simply, woww.

Big thanks for this, Brother 

[Timl1980]

Here is another one I am now ready to share, I wrote this poem for a person in prison who was extremely wealthy due to illegal activities while in society...and yet when he walked with me out in the prison yard...all he could talk about was the birth of his son. I wrote this for him...and now I will share it with all of you.

 

                                                                                                                        Happiness

                                                               A drink in my hand, Money in my pocket and a host of women who

                                                                                                             thought I was the best

 

                                        Expensive watches on my wrist, Different outfits for every day of the week, A fancy sports

                                                                                      car...its top failing to reach even to my chest

 

                                                          My name rolling off people's lips like honey, Smooth and sweet, Leaving

                                                                                             a taste that's impossible to forget 

 

                                                                Smiling as jealousy and envy rolled through the air like steam as I

                                                                              entered a room full of people I'd never even met

 

                                                         Living in a home with plush carpets and marble floors overlooking a lake

                                                               that shimmered in the moonlight and danced in the morning sun

 

                                                                    But the day that I realized that all of this was an illusion...Was

                                                                                               the day that I first held my son

 

                                                                         A tiny bundle of warm, silky smooth skin with eyes

                                                                                     the color of a cloudless summer sky

 

                                               A tiny, breathing part of me, A tiny hand gripping my finger until I'm left with no 

                                                            alternative, Every miracle deserves at least one good cry

 

                                       Now my world is full of gap-toothed smiles and gasps of wonder at everything that moves, In

                                                the eyes of one little boy I'm the best...And I wouldn't have it any other way

 

                                       Every day I wake up is another memory of delighted laughter and bedtimes filled with scary stories

                                                                         and even scarier faces that chase monsters away  

 

                                      And when he cries my world comes crashing down, Some nights he falls asleep with teardrops

                                                                                         still clinging to his golden lashes 

 

                                              I try to fall asleep but I can't, Even while he's sleeping I need to be there...Protecting him from

                                                                                       his sleep induced falls and crashes

 

                                                            So now I understand what real love is all about, And I'm proud to be

                                                                    a part of something that is so much bigger than just me

 

                                          And I thank God every night for gap-toothed smiles and gasps of wonder at everything that moves, For

                                            letting me view the world from eyes of sky blue and finding that true happiness comes from within...

                                                                           And the most important moments in life...are free

                                                                    

[Del]

So moving.....love is in our dna....i remember the feeling....that strong surge of emotion for your child....when they say " I love you" or their little arms hug you tight..

Nothing compares....you summed it up beautifully in your poem.

[Timl1980]

Here is another poem I am now going to allow some extra room to breathe...I wrote this for a man and his wife in prison years ago...and I thought I would share it this morning:

 

 

 

The Little Things

 

Walks upon the beach, Holding hands while the tide washes all our troubles away

 

Rose petals strewn across the bed, Slow, silky smooth love songs drowning out the remainder of a long stressful day

 

Side by side in a large open field, The stars our blanket, A full moon bathing us in its soft, illuminating glow

 

Like a photograph of a long-stemmed rose that catches the elegant beauty of just a single moment in time, Priceless and unforgettable,

And yet it was the small things which made the rose grow

 

A touch of your hand, Just a moment of your time to stare deep into your eyes, 

To rediscover the tingling sensation I get whenever you are near 

 

A phone call for no other reason other than to say "I love you", Cuddling until you fall asleep with your body pressed

against mine, Even in sleep counting on me to keep away the sadness and fear

 

Simultaneous words of encouragement and strength, Our love blending 

harmoniously like a symphony of wind, percussion and strings

 

Someone to share my hopes and dreams with, My love and my life, For that

is what life is made of...All the little things