A good joke

[dilip kumar]

Resharing:

A lil’ humor:  A passionate pioneer sister met a pastor. The Pastor avoided the sister as soon as he saw her.  But the pioneer sister followed the pastor and asked: “I just want to ask one question. "Why do you believe in the Trinity? The doctrine of the Trinity- Where can I find it in the Bible?” The pastor spoke to the sister very loudly. “Look at Psalm 35:11”! … and then he left. The pioneer sister wondered, “What does Psalms mention about the Trinity…?” She opened the book of Psalms 35:11 and was surprised to see what it said …🤔😁

[Keep Fighting]

Here's a simple urine test that applies to at least some of us men: Go out in the garden and pee.

If there are lots of ants: DIABETES.

If you pee on your shoes: PROSTATE.

If it smells like barbecue: CHOLESTEROL.

If your hand hurts when you shake it:OSTEOPOROSIS.

If you go back inside with it out:ALZHEIMER

[Tortuga]

19 minutes ago, Keep Fighting said:

Here's a simple urine test that applies to at least some of us men: Go out in the garden and pee.

If there are lots of ants: DIABETES.

If you pee on your shoes: PROSTATE.

If it smells like barbecue: CHOLESTEROL.

If your hand hurts when you shake it:OSTEOPOROSIS.

If you go back inside with it out:ALZHEIMER

If you hear a loud noise and feel a sudden pain on the back of your head: MARRIED 

[Pabo]

i recently heard on the news that a man who suffers from dwarfism was pickpocketed whilst waiting in line for his coffee order.

 

It got me wondering, how low is this world going to get?

[Tortuga]

24 minutes ago, Pabo said:

i recently heard on the news that a man who suffers from dwarfism was pickpocketed whilst waiting in line for his coffee order.

 

It got me wondering, how low is this world going to get?

I heard he had stopped at the coffee shop and asked for a quick pick-me-up. He was robbed during the ensuing chaos...

[Qapla]

With today's prices, it is not surprising that getting coffee from a shop could bring one up short

[Tortuga]

6 minutes ago, Qapla said:

With today's prices, it is not surprising that getting coffee from a shop could bring one up short

Starbucks offers a 'short' beverage. Apparently you are what you drink...

 

You have to be careful at Starbucks, I once asked for a Tall Blonde. That was embarrassing...

Edited August 13 by Tortuga

[Pabo]

7 hours ago, Tortuga said:

Starbucks offers a 'short' beverage. Apparently you are what you drink...

 

You have to be careful at Starbucks, I once asked for a Tall Blonde. That was embarrassing...

 

A brother and I usually go to the local pub to have a couple of German and Dutch Blondes. Regardless to say, our wives are usually not impressed when get back home.

[Keep Fighting]

An old lady fell and hurt herself outside the parliament one day.

A politician came running and helped her up.

- "Thank you very much," said the old lady.

- Oh, you're welcome, said the politician - But now I can count on your vote in the election in the fall, now that I've helped you?

The lady smiled nicely, brushed off some dust from her dress, and replied:

- "Oh no, you can't. After all, it was only a knee injury, not a brain injury I suffered.

[Tortuga]

9 minutes ago, Keep Fighting said:

An old lady fell and hurt herself outside the parliament one day.

A politician came running and helped her up.

- "Thank you very much," said the old lady.

- Oh, you're welcome, said the politician - But now I can count on your vote in the election in the fall, now that I've helped you?

The lady smiled nicely, brushed off some dust from her dress, and replied:

- "Oh no, you can't. After all, it was only a knee injury, not a brain injury I suffered.

Then he pushed her down?

[grain of mustard]

Armageddon will come in 5 years! 

[grain of mustard]

The traveling husband arrived at an inn and decided to send a message to his wife/lover. But when dialing the number, he typed the last number wrong. The message text arrived for a woman who had just become a widow. The message said: "Honey, I just got here. I arrived in peace, you can rest assured. Don't worry, you'll be coming here next week. Don't worry about clothes because it's incredibly hot here."