A good joke

[Tortuga]

Still one of my favorite jokes...

 

On the last day of kindergarten all the students brought presents for their teacher.

The Gardener's Son handed his teacher a present. She took it, held it up, and said, 
"I bet I know what this is. I bet its some flowers!" 
"Thats Right!" Said the little boy. 

 

Then the chocolatier's daughter came up and handed her teacher a gift. The teacher once again took the present, held it up, and said, 
"I bet I know what it is. I bet its a box of chocolates." 
"Oh, Thats Right" Shouted the little girl. 

 

The next gift was from the liquor store owner's son. The teacher held it up and saw that it was leaking. she touched a drop with her finger and she tasted it. 
"Is it Wine?" She asked 
"No...." The little boy answered. 
The teacher touched another big drop to her finger and tasted it some more. 
"Is it Champagne?" she asked. 
"No...." answered the little boy. 
"What is it?" Said the teacher. 
"It's a puppy!...." 

[Tyrrha]

8 hours ago, Tortuga said:

Still one of my favorite jokes...

 

On the last day of kindergarten all the students brought presents for their teacher.

The Gardener's Son handed his teacher a present. She took it, held it up, and said, 
"I bet I know what this is. I bet its some flowers!" 
"Thats Right!" Said the little boy. 

 

Then the chocolatier's daughter came up and handed her teacher a gift. The teacher once again took the present, held it up, and said, 
"I bet I know what it is. I bet its a box of chocolates." 
"Oh, Thats Right" Shouted the little girl. 

 

The next gift was from the liquor store owner's son. The teacher held it up and saw that it was leaking. she touched a drop with her finger and she tasted it. 
"Is it Wine?" She asked 
"No...." The little boy answered. 
The teacher touched another big drop to her finger and tasted it some more. 
"Is it Champagne?" she asked. 
"No...." answered the little boy. 
"What is it?" Said the teacher. 
"It's a puppy!...." 

 

 

Facepalm! 😆

 

[➕👇 ꓤꓱꓷꓠꓵ🎵Tone]

For cat lovers everywhere...

 

Just Older

 

 

 

 

[Cherie]

A wife called her husband who was driving to warn him to not get on the freeway because there was a wrong way driver.

 

There's not just ONE, he shouted back.

THERE'S HUNDREDS!!!!!

[➕👇 ꓤꓱꓷꓠꓵ🎵Tone]

Some things come with age...

Just Older

[➕👇 ꓤꓱꓷꓠꓵ🎵Tone]

I'm worried about crime, so I asked a friend from Texas what I needed to defend my home. He said a 9mm, a couple clips, and a box of shells. I put it together pretty quickly. Still not sure how it‘s suppose to work, though...



Just Older

[➕👇 ꓤꓱꓷꓠꓵ🎵Tone]

I've worked it out...

Sprinkle the shells on the ground, when you here them crackle, you know there is an intruder. Throw the 9mm and knock them out. Clip their thumbs together while you wait for the police...

Just Older

[Musky]

A tribute to our new Moderator, Richard:

 

A man and a little boy came into a pet shop carrying a small box. The man stepped up to the counter and angrily demanded to see the manager.

 

The manager came and asked "what seems to be the problem, sir?"

 

The man said "you sold my son this turtle yesterday, and it can't even walk today, I want you to give him his money back"

 

The manager said "I can't understand it, all of our pets are in excellent health! Let me look at the turtle"

 

Examining the turtle, the manager saw that all four legs were just stumps.

 

He said "I can't understand this, we certainly would not have sold it to your son in this condition. But, I will replace it with another one as a gesture of good faith"

 

The manager went in the back room and brought out a healthy turtle and gave it to the man, who thanked him and turned to his son and said "look Tommy, here is a nice, new turtle for you"

 

Tommy said "oh boy!" and grabbed the turtle, got down on the floor, and started sliding the turtle back and forth along the ground like a toy car, saying "zoom, zoom, zoom"

[dilip kumar]

Deadly Banking joke.....
A man entered in a bank with gun in his hand and said I just want to deposit cash if u try to pitch me insurance or investments I will shoot myself....
HAPPY MARCH ENDING.

I think no body understood it.

In India when a customer, who has a account in a bank, goes to deposit money, he is humbly deeply pressurized to open one more account or invest some money in insurance. They sometimes pester extremely.

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[Tortuga]

You know you are getting fat when you have to buy round belt buckles so the corners wont hurt...

[➕👇 ꓤꓱꓷꓠꓵ🎵Tone]

We have 74 Islands in our territory... I wonder if they are on one of ours...

Just Older

[walkr2]

Older {waiting for wiser}

[dilip kumar]

My wife was complaining last night that I never listen to her. Or something like that...

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[walkr2]

[walkr2]

[dilip kumar]

Married men....

 

were farmers

are farmers

will be farmers....! 

[walkr2]

[walkr2]

[walkr2]

An oldie!

A Circuit Overseer went out in the ministry, door to door, with a 7 year old boy. The brother asked the boy if he was ready.. The boy answered that he is always ready. The boy went to the first door, knocked and the person that answered was a man. The boy asked, "Sir, do you know Superman's secret identity? What his name is?" The man answered, "Of course, Clark Kent." The Circuit Overseer was about to stop the boy when suddenly the boy asked "Well, do you know God's name? The man said "Of course, Jesus." The boy shook his head and said "Mister, you mean to tell me you know a fictional person's name, but you don't know God's name, who is real? Good thing I came to teach you, from the Bible, that the name of God is Jehovah." The man showed interest and took some literature. They went to the next door, it was the CO's turn and he said to the home owner, 'Hi, do you know the name of Superman's secret identity?"

By Sarah Montagna.

[walkr2]

I accidentally took the wrong medicine today

The good news is I'm protected from heartworm and fleas for 3 months!

[➕👇 ꓤꓱꓷꓠꓵ🎵Tone]

Have I already posted this?

 

Just Older

 

 

 

[➕👇 ꓤꓱꓷꓠꓵ🎵Tone]

Just Older

[Tortuga]

There is some debate about whether or not Santa Claus's reindeer are male or female.One theory is that Santa is an equal opportunity employer and some are male and some are female. I figure that any guy that puts on a red suit and flies around at night with all that doe will do anything for a buck...

 

[Pjdriver]

7 hours ago, Tortuga said:

There is some debate about whether or not Santa Claus's reindeer are male or female.One theory is that Santa is an equal opportunity employer and some are male and some are female. I figure that any guy that puts on a red suit and flies around at night with all that doe will do anything for a buck...

 

That’s a good one.....ho ho ho!

I mean .... ha ha ha! 

[dilip kumar]

 A brother was preaching and knocked on a door and a nun came out. The nun says "I am the wife of Christ, do not bother to talk to me because I know everything". The brother said, "It's okay, I just came to bring you a message your father-in-law sent to you."

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