spoiler (not really ) thread?

[trottigy]

I heard that all the talks will be via video and there will be an announcement that next year, so we get the DC all at once, we can download all the talks no more work getting conventions and hotels and all the prep for the talks - just download and watch. There will even be demos of inviting friends, family and Bible studies over to watch them.

Edit - the local elders - with all that freed up time - will prepare lists of eligible single people with ages and background info for the singles looking to mingle.

Edited April 22, 2014 by trottigy

[rocket]

I heard that starting Sept. 1, Sisters will have to be clean shaven.

[PottersClay]

I just read on CNN where  the WB&TS is opening an enormous umbrella factory.     Getting ready for the thousand year Rain .

I'm in tears hahahaha

[stuagu]

Ive heard all assembly minibus drivers are to be issued with special tablets to take before the journey... These are anti purple rinse and should mean that the driver remains conscious for the entire trip.

[Joey]

I heard instead of an invitation campaign we'll pass out tracts telling people not to come to the convention this year.It will be entitled "Don't Come!Your Not Welcome" it won't have the time or place inside.

[trottigy]

Since people are being stingy with their contributions to the work, the FDS has decided to charge a premium to those who take literature and don't place it. They've also decided to start charging for preferred seating for the lazy. You can go online and select your seats in advance at ticketmaster.

They're also installing a mosh pit for all the improperly dressed sisters.

I love that! We have a theater in town that let's you do that. Hey, we could charge extra for the back rows and discount the front ones!

[Toy Poodles]

If ones purchase seating tickets then there goes the rush in the morning for seats. Also if you purchase your seats along with your hotel room then you get a better discount. 

[Qapla]

... Hey, we could charge extra for the back rows and discount the front ones!

 

That is the plan for the seats at the KH - but it is reversed for the Conventions .... should be fully implemented by the new service year ....

[stuagu]

That is the plan for the seats at the KH - but it is reversed for the Conventions .... should be fully implemented by the new service year ....

seats reversed at the conventions? Radical!

[ReadYourBible]

I didn't hear that one of the new releases at the convention is a tract entitle "The New Song" and if you're able to sing it it proves your of the anointed.Nope,didn't hear that.

It's actually hip hop and you have to be able to break dance while singing ala new kids on the block style. Worse yet, they've got an angel whose job it is to mock and make faces and comments much the same as simon cowell does.

Auditions and subsequent 'firings' will commence shortly before Armageddon....tune in if you get a chance. It's bound to be quite the spectacle.

[stuagu]

It's actually hip hop .

You see this is where rumours start¡!:-) ... I heard the music was going to be hip HOPE ... Very similar to hip hop but with a 100% better amount of hope.

[rocket]

I heard that there will be a new "Old People Ask" book.

[Mykyl]

I absolutely did not hear that what we will will be told is so amazing that we will be struck dumb.

We will not physically be able to pass on what we have seen or heard in spoilers using any current means of communication...

 

 

Took me around 3 hours just to type that out.

[stuagu]

I heard that there will be a new "Old People Ask" book.

Now that wss funny!

[stuagu]

... Now this is true... 100% fact.... From the horses mouth. ......

Baldies must wear wigs.... Thats due to the sun shining off of the top of baldies heads and householders cant see the scripture from gods word... I think its sound counsel... And for us who are follically chalkenged there is going to be a catalogue which the c.o.s will have with a choice of styles.... Some even come with a strap to hold it on... That doubles up as a little goatie beard.

Ssssssshhhhhhh ... Act surprised when its announced .

[shali]

I heard they are gonna tell us Satan's real name so we can blasepheme it all over the place and curse him directly from now on.

[shali]

Wish I had found this thread a long time ago, haven't laughed this hard in a long time.  There sure are a lot of brothers and sisters out there who have still managed to retain their sense of humor despite this system of things!  Kudo's!

[shali]

Musky, your "dummies" book for understanding the "generations" of the anointed was hilarious!  You should do a few more!  Like understanding the "weeks of years" in Daniel or the geneology of 2 Chronicles!

 

Edited April 25, 2014 by shali

[stuagu]

...STOP PRESS..... EACH CONGREGATION IS HAVING TO BUILD AN ARK! ... no its true... unbelievable... ssssshhhh dont pass it on... 

[shali]

Yay! That means we can probably bring our pets!