Ambiguous Expressions

[Qapla]

Today, while going for lunch, we noticed another sign that, if taken litteraly, says something other than what it means

Have you ever noticed how many ambiguous signs and expressions we see and hear everyday .... and never think another thing about it. So, I thought it would be interesting to see what expressions others have seen/heard - not just here in the US, but from all over the earth.

I'll start it off:

The one we saw today was for the "home of the all you can eat 7 day buffett" - do they really let you eat for 7 days for just one price?

Here are a few more:

Roadsign - Slow Children Playing

In the public restroom at the fast food place "Employees must wash hands before leaving" - I don't know about you, but I have never had an employee offer to wash my hands when I used their restroom

In a convenience store "Clean Restrooms" - Now, are they bragging on the condition of their room or are they asking me to perform a service?

Your turn ................

[Greg Dent]

Eat here Get Gas

 

Whats the menu broccoli and cabbage?

[Qapla]

Across the front of the convenience store:

ICE COLD BEER GAS ICE CREAM

[bohemian]

The classic used to be in UK train toilets:

Gentlemen Lift The Seat

Is this a definition of a gentleman? Or perhaps a toast?

[carlos]

Let's eat, granma.

Let's eat granma.

 

The comma changes the meaning a lot.

[timpin]

saw these out in service   ...  

 

No Outlet    ..... those houses must not have electricity!

 

Bridge freezes before road     .......  you mean just before it?   ... both sides?

 

Watch Children     .....   Wow, these kids already have the newest device!

Edited March 3, 2015 by timpin

[Old Al]

One of mine is a response.

Somebody says "watch your head "!   

I always say " I can't my eyes are in it" !     

 

There was a sign at a store I used to drive by that said, "we got ice"

I wanted to write "I'm glad you did" under it.   

[Old Al]

Across the front of the convenience store:

ICE COLD BEER GAS ICE CREAM

 

A couple I've seen:             Gatorade Sandwiches        No Ethanol Spaghetti And Meatballs

[Sheep]

Supposedly, these are real signs, although I've never personally seen any of them...

 

 

******************************************

Sign over a Gynecologist’s Office:

“Dr. Jones, at your cervix.”

******************************************

In a Podiatrist’s office:

“Time wounds all heels.”

******************************************

On a Septic Tank Truck:

“Yesterday’s Meals on Wheels.”

******************************************

On a Plumber’s truck:

“We repair what your husband fixed.”

******************************************

On another Plumber’s truck:

“Don’t sleep with a drip. Call your plumber.”

******************************************

On a Church’s Billboard:

“7 days without God makes one weak.”

******************************************

On a Dry Cleaner’s window:

“If your clothes aren’t becoming to you, they should be coming to us.”

******************************************

At a Tire Store

“Invite us to your next blowout.”

******************************************

On an Electrician’s truck:

“Let us remove your shorts.”

******************************************

In a Non-smoking Area:

“If we see smoke, we will assume you are on fire and take appropriate action.”

******************************************

On a Maternity Room door:

“Push. Push. Push.”

******************************************

At an Optometrist’s Office:

“If you don’t see what you’re looking for, you’ve come to the right place.”

******************************************

On a Taxidermist’s window:

“We really know our stuff.”

******************************************

On a Fence:

“Salesmen welcome! Dog food is expensive!”

******************************************

At a Car Dealership:

“The best way to get back on your feet - miss a car payment.”

******************************************

Outside a Car Exhaust Store:

“No appointment necessary. We hear you coming.”

******************************************

In a Vet’s waiting room:

“Back in 5 minutes. Sit! Stay!”

******************************************

In a Restaurant window:

“Don’t stand there and be hungry; come on in and get fed up.”

******************************************

In the front yard of a Funeral Home:

“Drive carefully. We’ll wait.”

******************************************

And don’t forget the sign at a Radiator Shop:

“Best place in town to take a leak.”

******************************************

Sign on the back of yet another Septic Tank Truck:

“Caution - This Truck is full of Political Promises.”

[bohemian]

A local shop has a sign

Watch Batteries Changed - £5

Rather expensive viewing!

[Old Al]

Out of all the people I know, you're one of 'em.

It's been a pressure being with you.

[Qapla]

A local shop has a sign

Watch Batteries Changed - £5

Rather expensive viewing!

This is a perfect example of an ambiguous expression.

[DLM]

A couple we have seen in our travels:

 

At a Restaurant--"If we are not open, just place your money under the door!"

 

The name of a wreaking yard   "Pick A part"

[Old Al]

Here are a couple more :

 

Hand cut...what are you going to do, use your foot to hold the knife ?   

Garden grown... Umm, isn't that where vegetables come from ?  

Well duh ! 

[Precision]

All you can eat Buffet

Not mean All day Buffet

You no come stay 4 hour

You eat- YOU GO HOME!

[ava]

My dentist has a sign in the bathroom at his office that reads:

 

"Please be courteous to others and flush the toilet correctly before you leave"

 

 

It's not "flush the toilet" but "flush it correctly"

 

Lol, wasn't aware that so many people do not know how to flush a toilet the correct way.

[Witness1970]

I saw a sign at a Burger King. Pokemon is here hiring managers. The next week it said Batman is here hiring managers. I sent that into a comedic radio show. The next week the words 'hiring managers' had been moved to the top of the sign.

Edited March 12, 2015 by Witness1970