Dealing With Anxiety in Our Times

[TrueTomHarley]

In my “practical wisdom” mode, not my “world is going to hell in a handbasket” mode, I start my door-to-door presentation with an invitation to consider a practical verse like Matthew 6:25.

 

“Anxiety is a huge concern today. We read about it. We experience it. I want to read you a scripture on that theme, you tell me what you think, and I am out of here. Good idea?”

 

You can throw in a factoid or two from somewhere, like something here from the New York Times, but I usually pass. You are looking for people with whom the idea resonates, and if it doesn’t, the New York Times will not convince them that it should. 

 

An affirmative answer to my offer will earn the householder the reading of Matthew 6:25.

 

“On this account I [Jesus] say to you: Stop being anxious about your lives as to what you will eat or what you will drink, or about your bodies as to what you will wear. Does not life mean more than food and the body than clothing?”

 

“That’s all I wanted to do,” I will say, “to get this notion on the table—that anxiety is something that you might hope to just “stop it.” He doesn’t say, don’t start being anxious. He assumes his listeners already are. He says ‘Stop it.’ 

 

The next move is the householder’s, and I tell him that he doesn’t have to make one. “If the subject piques interest, if you have views, if you.....” and so forth.

 

If he doesn’t (and even if he does), I will leave a tract—any of them will do—and call attention to the jw.org website and what is to be found there. If they do, then conversation might go a hundred different ways. Even so, I do not press every moment to stay. Rather, I offer every moment to leave. Even some lengthy conversations I have cut them sort, to the householder’s  protest. “Yes, you say it now,” I observe, “but after I go you will say, “Man! I wanted to get some stuff done today, and then this Bible guy showed up!”

 

Maybe I have grown sensitive to all the concerns of those who cry over “manipulation,” and so I am determined to not even give the appearance of going there. Of course, the extremists among these ones are babies to whom introducing any idea not mainstream is “manipulation,”—they decry all “brainwashing” except for the brainwashing that is theirs—and there is not much one can do about that, but I try not to attract the charge like a magnet.

 

I can hear Anthony Morris giving the talk now at the 2016 Regional Convention in Atlanta. I wasn’t there—I was at another convention—but the talk was streamed. “‘Stop it!’ Jesus says. Just ‘stop it!’ as though addressing a child—and that was the idea that he went on to develop, that it was a controllable emotion. It was a meaningful talk for me. Anxiety had proven to be a weakness for me —it afflicts some in the family—and when I was hit with a perfect storm of calamities, I did not blame humans like Jimmy does. I did worse and blamed God. 

 

Believe me, I envy those brothers—I have met a lot of them—who say: “I’ve never worried a day in my life!” To be sure, that envy is tempered by the fact that some of these characters caused plenty of others to worry, and even when it was not so, they had other weaknesses to compensate or even more than compensate. We are all “pieces of work” in one way or another.

 

I also know quite a few who, by choice, live very close to the wire. They have structured their lives that way. It is deliberate. They have determined to “make use of the world, but not use it to the full.” (1 Corinthians 7:31) They have decided to go light as to material things. The ideal among Jehovah’s Witnesses—which some have attained and some have not—is to acquire a skill that pays well, and then do as little of it as possible so as to have as large a share as possible in the kingdom proclamation work. I am not one of those people, either, but I sort of envy them, as the modern manifestation of Paul, who knew “how to be low on provisions and how to have an abundance. In everything and in all circumstances I have learned the secret of both how to be full and how to hunger, both how to have an abundance and how to do without.” - Philippians 4:12 

 

These ones will crinkle a fender on their car and ask God what to do about it, since there’s no money in the budget for the mishap. What is God going to do about it? Time and again persons I know well have reported such things—they take it to God in prayer—and presently the answer presents itself in totally unanticipated ways, sometimes very unlikely ones. They thereafter attribute it to God’s spirit. Am I going to tell them that they are wrong?

 

Why would I do that? How do I know? It is more likely—when you hear such things again and again—that they are right. I do what Mary did, with regard to different experiences: “Mary began to preserve all these sayings, drawing conclusions in her heart.” (Luke 2:19) Maybe they’ll do me some good someday, the same way they did her. Key is the confidence of 1 John 5:14: “And this is the confidence that we have toward him, that no matter what we ask according to his will, he hears us.” For it to work it must be “according to his will.”

 

It seems that it will be very hard to dictate to someone else just how holy spirit is supposed to work. Almost by definition, you cannot. It is the wind of John 3:8 that you feel but cannot see. It is the angels that the cosmonauts did not see—and so concluded from that experience that there was no God. No, it operates as it operates and is one of those “taste and see” sort of things.

 

[Krusso]

Brother Tom

 

I really enjoyed your presentation. It is out of the box and engaging. I will borrow some ideas. Do you want to knock on my door?

 

Regarding the rest of your post. I feel exactly the same way. You read my thoughts. There is no way for us to know for sure when was holy spirit acting or pure coincidence . We do not know and because of that we do not say anything and do as Mary did.

[Miss Bea]

I worry about the ones who don’t worry. Either they have a huge case of denial, or, just don’t care about what is going around them. One way or another, not good. We won’t do a lot of good by that worrying, but, we need to be aware, and care. 
I love your presentation!

[Ahuvah]

Yes Sister Bea - Someone told me that those who are angry or even abusive are easier to deal with than those with apathy - because they are emotional, means they care about something. Those with apathy don't seem to care about much. 

[Sister Susie]

I checked your profile just now to see if you were at one time "part of the world" as some of your words expressed thinking like the other side, as I do.  While I'm not in the practical wisdom mode but experiencing the "overwhelmed" mode at present, I was able only to read half of your post.  I will finish reading at another time and I'm sure I will have something somewhat relevant to add...maybe.  🙃

[TrueTomHarley]

On 12/13/2019 at 9:17 AM, Sister Susie said:

I checked your profile just now to see if you were at one time "part of the world" as some of your words expressed thinking like the other side, as I do.  While I'm not in the practical wisdom mode but experiencing the "overwhelmed" mode at present, I was able only to read half of your post.  I will finish reading at another time and I'm sure I will have something somewhat relevant to add...maybe.  🙃

Sometimes we are in the “overwhelmed” mode. It is a time of great pressure that we live in.

Edited December 16, 2019 by TrueTomHarley

[careful]

truetomharley I like your post.  it sounds like you notice a lot of words by some witnesses that are inconsistent with reality. but instead of being angry, you hold onto the words inside yourself and try to figure it all out. that's good. I hope you figure it out....let me know when you do because I also wonder about a lot of attitudes that some have.

[TrueTomHarley]

On 12/16/2019 at 8:29 AM, careful said:

truetomharley I like your post.  it sounds like you notice a lot of words by some witnesses that are inconsistent with reality. but instead of being angry, you hold onto the words inside yourself and try to figure it all out. that's good. I hope you figure it out....let me know when you do because I also wonder about a lot of attitudes that some have.

I wouldn’t say that the words I cited are “inconsistent with reality,” if by that you mean the people I referred to who live close to the wire. Rather, they are inconsistent with the reality I know. It is not as though I think they are living in a delusion. If anything, I am the one living there. It is a little like when a brother I know handed the householder the tract, “Would You Like to Know the Truth?” and the householder replied: “Don’t you think that’s sort of an arrogant question?” “Well....it’s our version of the truth,” the brother replied. People experience different aspects of it.

 

However, maybe you don’t mean that. You are a little vague in what I am not getting “angry” about and in what I am trying to “figure out.” That’s okay, because it permits me to make a broad response.

 

A recent CO spoke about how Jehovah has gathered us into one “large, unified, happy, somewhat dysfunctional family.” “Dysfunctional” is the key. Nobody would say that we are not. It is still head-and-shoulders above the greater world, which is not described as a family at all, and when it is, it is by the most ridiculous exaggeration. The governor of New York State has been known to refer to “the family of New York.” It is sort of a tough sell. One “family member” wins the Nobel Prize. Another family member gets life in prison for murder.

 

We are very much a counseling organization. God though his written word counsels us. Christ counsels his disciples. Elders, as his representatives in the congregations, counsel the flock. Parents counsel their children. Older men counsel younger men. Older women counsel younger women. It can even work in reverse, as when young Elihu counsels the three men each old enough to be his father. It is all based on God’s word and it all stems from the fact that when we draw close to God, it is not he that is going to benefit from our example—it is we that is going to benefit from his.

 

The trouble is, the only ones who give perfect counsel at just the right time and to just the right degree are Jehovah and Christ Jesus. Everyone else misses the mark—sometimes by a mile. Usually the counsel itself is not wrong, but it may be too strong, too irrelevant, too clumsily stated, too diluted by our own imperfect example, and so forth. Also, it is extremely difficult to counsel a worldwide body of people, as the Governing Body does. One person says: “Thank’s for the new RULE!” and his neighbor says: “Huh? Did you say something?” I would not want their job of trying to find just the right balance. Where they are strong, I think it is because they don’t want to find themselves in the shoes of Lot—whose son-in-laws thought he was joking. They take their shepherding role seriously.

 

At an elder school I attended (I am not an elder though I once was) one instructor led around a string on a table with forefinger firmly applied to one end. “See how the rest of the string follows so nicely?” he asked. He then reversed course and tried to “push” the string. “See how it bunches up when I do that?” he said. A pause followed during which he tried to make it work. “It’s really not too smart of me to do it this way, is it?” The lesson, of course, was to lead by example, and not by being “pushy.”

 

Lots of us are “pushy.” I don’t mean elders, necessarily, but anyone. People take it as akin to bullying in some cases. Sometimes we “counsel” each other and it would be better to just let things ride. Sometimes we “counsel” each other and we forget to examine the rafter in our own eye. Peer pressure can be a good thing, encouraging us all to hold the course, but our imperfection can make it stifling. Sometimes we have to tell people to mind their own business.

 

Much of this abrasion has been and is being refined out of us but it will never vanish. I wrote a post about spiritual progress over the last 50 years, addressed to someone inclined to be critical:

 

“I would say the numerous schools that exist now that did not 50 years ago fits the bill. For elders, ministerial servants, traveling reps, etc. Intense and reoccurring instruction lasting anywhere from a weekend to a few weeks. 

I have attended some of these schools. Almost all content is on imitating Jesus’ manner of dealing with the flock, dealing with those in the ministry, showing tenderness, not lording it over, leading by example, and so forth. Very little is on what would be called ‘doctrinal.’ [I then included the above paragraph about the elder and the string]

 

“These schools have a cumulative effect of refining those exercising any authority. That they are needed can be inferred from Jesus’ dealings with those to whom he granted the greatest authority. Even on the eve of his death he interceded in an argument they were having as to which one of them was the greatest, the same as you might do with children. (Luke 22:24)

 

“Take that into account for anyone carrying on about how inspired, unerring, and pure the leaders were back then and by extension ought be today. Grown men are capable of behaving like children. It happened then, it happens today. Refresher course training in which students will focus on scores  of scriptures—and if they prepare as they ought—hundreds of scriptures, go a long way towards training those in authority to lead and shepherd as Christ did.

 

“And, far from the Governing Body dreaming up a school that they ride above and apply to everyone else, when such a school is formulated, they put themselves through it first. They do not imagine that they cannot benefit from intense review of how Jesus dealt with people.”

 

So Jehovah refines his people. The benefit of elders being refined is that it trickles down to everyone else as well.

 

Jehovah unites a people that would not otherwise be united. To the contrary, many of us would be at each other’s throats, divided over issues of class, economics, education, political leaning, race, nationalism. If you were not in the truth, you would choose as friends those with whom you naturally get along, but as congregation members, our friends include ones with whom getting along is not a natural for us. Two verses help me immensely. Both have been expounded upon in our program recently.

 

Philippians 2:3,4—“...doing nothing out of contentiousness or out of egotism, but with lowliness of mind considering that the others are superior to YOU,  keeping an eye, not in personal interest upon just YOUR own matters, but also in personal interest upon those of the others.” I love that point. At first glance, it might strike one as ridiculous. How can I think you superior to me and at the same time you think me superior to yourself? The answer was supplied in a recent study article. Everyone is superior to the other in at least one way. Find that way and hone in on it. When you see that person, make sure that’s the first thing that comes to mind. It works wonders for human relations.

 

The other verse is 1 Corinthians 13:4-7 about love. It...”does not keep account of the injury....bears all things...endures all things.” At the Regional Convention, these verses were given their standard application how we keep this in mind as we view others. But what was new—at least to me—was the idea that they will do the same with regard to us. We might really be outrageous in one or more aspects, yet if we are known for love, people will overlook it!

 

That’s how I “figure it all out,” to the extent that I have. I “let you know” because you asked me to. Thanks. Best wishes to you. I like your contributions elsewhere. If I missed your point, let me know.

 

[Krusso]

Brother Tom

 

I really liked your comment. It is how I feel and expressed in such a better way.

 

59 minutes ago, TrueTomHarley said:

Jehovah unites a people that would not otherwise be united

This is one of the reasons I believe we are in the only religious organization that has the support of the Creator. "Nothing feels better than this". We are dysfunctional but there is no other group of people that try harder than us to be united and to relate and interact with others that have nothing to do with us, except our shared faith.  It is a bumpy road because of our imperfections, but we go on.

 

My husband is also named Tom and from upstate NY. Although it seems we could be your kids. If you have kids they are privileged.  

 

[Sister Susie]

7 hours ago, TrueTomHarley said:

 

The other verse is 1 Corinthians 13:4-7 about love. It...”does not keep account of the injury....

 

I actually have a decent memory except for keeping account of injury.  I forget that I am mad at someone and when I remember, I don't remember why. 

 

I am blessed to get along with most personalities for short periods of time...like 3 hours of service time or the like.  I wouldn't necessarily spend "relax" time (what's that?) with these same people but it is a real blessing that I don't have the time or energy to react or respond to mean, rude, sarcastic or stupid comments that in the big scheme don't matter at all.  I just hope these friends ignore me when I make the same thoughtless comments. And I am so thankful that our loving Father doesn't keep a count of the injuries I cause.  Praise Jah.

[TrueTomHarley]

9 hours ago, Krusso said:

My husband is also named Tom and from upstate NY. 

I like the guy already.

[TrueTomHarley]

23 hours ago, Krusso said:

I really liked your comment. It is how I feel and expressed in such a better way.

If so, it is only because I have been at it longer. If you do anything long enough, including reading, writing, and speaking, you get good at it. To be sure, it is my area of special interest and it is really the only thing at which I am any good.

 

Sometimes I write a post on my own blog and then put a copy here. In this case, I have done it in reverse, having first removed the personal details. Partly egged on by your comment and similar ones from others, I added the final paragraph: 

 

“Listen—I know the temptation. They will pour on the syrup from Bethel and you just want to scream: “Enough! Call a spade a spade! This guy’s an idiot!” But it has to be that way—or at any rate it is that way. It is the only way to bind a people of infinite diversity, barring just one item, into one.”

 

 

[Krusso]

On ‎12‎/‎9‎/‎2019 at 11:01 AM, TrueTomHarley said:

I also know quite a few who, by choice, live very close to the wire. They have structured their lives that way. It is deliberate. They have determined to “make use of the world, but not use it to the full.” (1 Corinthians 7:31) They have decided to go light as to material things

They made this decision (what I find very interesting) because they live in a developed country where they are privileged to have this option. If you go to a developing or undeveloped country, the brothers and sisters live this way because they do not have another option. There is no possibility of social mobility if you are not living in specific areas and have the skills to improve your life. Many live day by day with enough to survive each day and are lucky if they have a bicycle or can afford scarce public transportation. And they still find reasons to smile and be content with what they have. The only explanation is Jehovah's spirit.

 

On ‎12‎/‎9‎/‎2019 at 11:01 AM, TrueTomHarley said:

The ideal among Jehovah’s Witnesses—which some have attained and some have not—is to acquire a skill that pays well, and then do as little of it as possible so as to have as large a share as possible in the kingdom proclamation work

I was not able to find this job yet. I feel I will never will.

 

On ‎12‎/‎9‎/‎2019 at 11:01 AM, TrueTomHarley said:

They thereafter attribute it to God’s spirit. Am I going to tell them that they are wrong?

This is a recurrent subject in my mind. In this system we have no control on a few very importance circumstances that affect what kind of life materially speaking we will have. It is basically a matter of time, place, family background and natural abilities.  If you are not born in the right equation you will struggle. But we are still left with circumstances that we have control. We can decide what kind of education, job or profession we will have. We can decide if we will marry or not (usually marriage improve our standard of life). Who will we marry. We can decide if we marry, if and how many kids we will have. If we decide to have kids, if both parents will work or not. And we see all the time people struggling because they did not think before deciding and never really planned ahead. Will Jehovah remove the problem that we caused because of bad planning or lack of it? No he will not. However he promised peace of mind and contentment even if we make mistakes and suffer the consequences. And we can witness this in the congregation all the time.

 

Regarding bad decisions, if we are in the truth long enough and paying attention we can see patterns. In my congregation, a young brother that wants to marry desperately   was dating a sister from another congregation and suddenly she was DF due to past mistakes unknown to me. He was very sad. Time passes and she was reinstated. He started dating her immediately and about a month later he proposed. I was talking to my children ( 17 and 18 years old) about this. We always try to use life examples to teach lessons. So I told them, first of all  her priority returning to Jehovah should be re establishing her relationship with Jehovah. Her priorities are mistaken. He should seat and wait and not get back to her immediately. And if  he decided against good sense to date her immediately, he should let time elapse and get to know her better and then make a decision to marry. He is completely infatuated. She seems to be more experienced than him. It is a recipe for disaster. I wish I am wrong.  I was with them and did not get a spiritual vibe from her. From the way that she dresses to the way that she dances. I wonder where his parents are and if they will say something or just watch passively. Anyway this is one circumstance that we can control. So if later things happen and it does not work, he will be praying for help. And Jehovah will help him in some way. But he will suffer the consequences for his precipitation and bad decision and pain, a lot of pain.

 

If we only could make a transfusion of wisdom or faith to other people?