Is it in one's nature to want to marry?

[M.J.]

10 minutes ago, Pjdriver said:

I was in love with a beautiful woman with a great personality......suddenly she claimed her father molested her when she was a child....she said she couldn’t actually remember it but she’s sure it happened.  I think her shrink talked her into it. I’ve seen this in a couple other cases. Perhaps it was true...I really don’t know for certain.

How tragic....😔

[EccentricM]

@Pjdriver I agree with all that. I wasn't talking about permanence, but "in the moment" of heartbreak and its lingering. It takes me a long time to get over someone. My quickest heartbreaks overcome were down to my love transforming into hatred greater than the love I once had for them due to the fact that they were liars, cheats, betrayers, etc. People who were not who I thought they were (and I don't mean silly fallouts, but.. genuinly being horrible people who hide what they are and use you and do horrible things behind your back).

 

However when it comes to someone who hasn't done anything wrong, but I can't be with them, that's when it's the long haul for me. I find it very difficult to escape the mindset of "she's the one". It takes a firm rejection and conviction to enter my mind that it's "not now, not ever in the future either" to be emotionally free of her, and it also involves walking away from them altogether (relating to my "Can men and women be friends" topic). When I'm in that state, it's like I'm in rehab, but for my mind and emotional state over the person, as opposed to drugs.

Edited January 12, 2021 by EccentricM

[JennyM]

1 hour ago, EccentricM said:

 

 

However when it comes to someone who hasn't done anything wrong, but I can't be with them, that's when it's the long haul for me. I find it very difficult to escape the mindset of "she's the one". It takes a firm rejection and conviction to enter my mind that it's "not now, not ever in the future either" to be emotionally free of her, and it also involves walking away from them altogether (relating to my "Can men and women be friends" topic). When I'm in that state, it's like I'm in rehab, but for my mind and emotional state over the person, as opposed to drugs.

Ok . So you take things seriously... I thought lots of men even  some jw  dont have deep feelings on women. They are like a bee that move from one flower to another.... You know, for thousand of years, women were just objects.... 

 

and dont forget that the heart is treacherous, you might feel in love with a wrong person thats why Jehovah didnt bring you together like samson and delilah.... 

[Alexa]

It is in one's nature to want to marry. If we live in paradise or in the new world, marriage will made perfect sense. Imagine Jehovah picked your partner, he or she will be the best give you will have.

[EccentricM]

55 minutes ago, rlyem said:

Imagine Jehovah picked your partner

The only arranged marriage I'd ever welcome

1 hour ago, JennyM said:

and dont forget that the heart is treacherous, you might feel in love with a wrong person thats why Jehovah didnt bring you together like samson and delilah.... 

I know that scenario, only too well.

[Katty]

You're right @EccentricM. You're not doing anyone any favors, courting someone when you still have feelings for someone else. 
I know I'd never want someone to ask me out and make me feel like they sincerely liked me when they were still nursing feelings for another woman.
I think hearts can heal, and someone who has loved can love again in time. I mean, we're literally not the same person we were 10 years ago, so of course, in time, we can completely move on from past loves, but yes, it does everyone a huge disservice to seek love until it does.

[Hope]

6 hours ago, Katty said:

You're right @EccentricM. You're not doing anyone any favors, courting someone when you still have feelings for someone else. 
I know I'd never want someone to ask me out and make me feel like they sincerely liked me when they were still nursing feelings for another woman.
I think hearts can heal, and someone who has loved can love again in time. I mean, we're literally not the same person we were 10 years ago, so of course, in time, we can completely move on from past loves, but yes, it does everyone a huge disservice to seek love until it does.

Y'know- I almost feel like I could take that. I've never been in love with someone who loved me more than another... that feels like normal to me. Someone's "only love"?  I think I don't inspire that sort of devotion, tbh.

 

As long as he wasn't mean, treated me well, actually chose me and didn't talk about the other person all day, it's still a million times what I'm living with now. 

[M.J.]

2 hours ago, Hope said:

Y'know- I almost feel like I could take that. I've never been in love with someone who loved me more than another... that feels like normal to me. Someone's "only love"?  I think I don't inspire that sort of devotion, tbh.

 

As long as he wasn't mean, treated me well, actually chose me and didn't talk about the other person all day, it's still a million times what I'm living with now. 

I"m sure Jehovah is patiently waiting to give you so much more ❤️

[Beyond the Sky]

It is certainly in mine haha. Maybe someday. 

 

The head man at work was telling me Monday about how he works part time at the Fire department and said some of the guys don't take it seriously. He said some were just their to get away from their wives for a bit. I couldn't imagine thinking that way.

[Ferb]

On 1/11/2021 at 10:09 AM, VisualizeUrParadise said:

I've always wondered looking at people around me getting married if marrying and the desire to marry is something innate and natural..

Those reading the Bible would probably quote Gen 2:18 to support their argument that marriage is instinctive.. 

But I think that verse is more about one's social needs..the need to simply hang out with people, rather than marry. 

And at that time, there was only Adam, so Jehovah might've been simply talking about his social deficiency. 

 

From my perspective, wanting to getting married is more of an educated need, than one's inborn nature..

Because I don't see how one can want to be with just one person for lifetime,  for eternity for us.  

And the society, because of how it's structured, being mainly family-oriented per se already puts pressure on those who are not marrying.

It's already functioning against and punishing the intentional singleness without being outright bad.

Given the way we were created, I think it is in everyone's nature to want to get married.  However, it isn't necessarily in everyone's nature to want to get married within the first hundred years of their life.  Looking at the first five chapters of Genesis, you find that many people were of ages in three digits before having their first child, which suggests that either they weren't very fertile (which isn't what you'd expect for perfection) or they were content to wait a while to get married.  So while getting married is part of Jehovah's design for us, it may well be true that getting married in your twenties or younger is more of, as you put it, an educated need.

 

Quote

If one does it purely for sexual intercourse, there wouldn't be any point in discussing this further (as Paul pointed out) but I'm not sure if that need is a genuine need. 

It doesn't mean, just because one marries mainly for sex, that he/she would want to spend the rest of their lives with another human being. (Not that it's bad) 

Rather, I think Jehovah is luring-in a good sense- human beings into marriage by means of sex so that they can reproduce other humans in a more pleasant, loving manner. 

(Sounds a lot better than plucking people like fruits. If God chose that manner of reproduction) 

As you acknowledge, God chose this manner of reproduction.  Not all creatures reproduce in the same fashion.  Flowers engage in sexual reproduction but without having two different sexes - each individual has both male and female organs, and God could have made us the same way, hermaphroditic, with no differences between us.  Some other creatures reproduce just by cloning themselves, without even needing another organism, and God could have made Adam that way.  But Jehovah saw fit to make a man and a woman as complements of each other, even though this was not strictly necessary to allow the earth to be filled.  Jesus explicitly said he made them male and female and said for this reason a man would leave his father and his mother and would stick to his wife, and the two would become one flesh.  It seems to me that this is why men and women exist - not merely to reproduce, but to marry, to complement each other's unique abilities.  For this reason, I believe all people will eventually marry if they live long enough.