Older drivers

[Mattclaxton]

What is the best way to tell a 91 year old brother (elder) that he should give up driving before he kills somebody. 
people refuse to get in his car and those that do have to grab the steering wheel to stop him hitting other cars. 

[rocket]

Some people, my mother included, have to have their keys taken away/disappear. 

[Loopy]

Went thru that with my dad. But he had Alzheimer’s and could never figure out how to get home.

 

It’s definitely not an easy thing to do. Especially if they are still really independent.

 

An (90+) elder’s  son had to finally take the car and keys. 
 

They would tell them they couldn’t go to other towns to shop. Next thing one of the friends would see them in the store.

 

What I sometimes think about and makes me chuckle is this is the same elder who always said: “If you’re driving and swat a fly, get into an accident and kill someone you are bloodguilty.”
 

Apparently, that thought wasn’t for a 90+ individual. 🤣🤣

 

This can be very scary.

[LeslieDean]

We had a old man many years ago (90), who had his own talent agency in LA when he was in his prime. Bob Hope was one of his many well known clients. He scheduled stars to play special shows for the overseas military and navy. He was use to people catering to him and listening to his fascinating tales which were many. His memory was also declining rapidly...The police were well acquainted with Mr. Levy because he would drive his car, park it, forget where it was and report it stolen. Every. Time. He. Left. The. Apartment. The son tried to tell him to no avail. The police said if the son did not not only take the keys but the car they would file report against son then hold him accountable and face legal repercussions for not taking appropriate action if his dad was involved in an accident. This was the only thing that forced the son into stepping up. I miss Mr. Levy. I look forward to seeing him again

 

[davanz]

This thread reminds me of an old joke.

 

An old man, over the objections of his wife, left home to drive a few miles to a neighboring town to visit an old friend. As usual, the wife turned on a police radio scanner she had purchased so that she might monitor the calls when he was out driving. This, she thought, might give her an early alert if he were involved in a crash, and the vehicles description was broadcast. 

 

After a while she heard an announcement about a car going the wrong way on the very highway her husband was traveling. He could at least still use a cell phone, so she decided to call him and tell him to be on the lookout for a car going the wrong way, against traffic.

 

When she told him why she called, he said, "they haven't an idea how bad it is, because there have been hundreds of cars going the wrong way".

[Qapla]

On 7/4/2025 at 2:58 PM, Mattclaxton said:

What is the best way to tell a 91 year old brother (elder) that he should give up driving before he kills somebody. 

 

The same way you tell a 19-year-old MS that he should quit driving before he kills someone if his driving is that bad. Just outright telling them is the best way.

 

I have known people of all ages that should not be driving - some have even had their license suspended because of their illegal, reckless driving. This includes people in and out of the truth.

 

The odd thing is, while many would be quick to say something to the 19-year-old - they seem to hesitate with the 91-year-old.

[jdcarlson]

Since the brother is an Elder, it should be the responsibility of the Body of Elders to tell him, unless he has family who can step in.

 

Our family went through this with my father 25 years ago. We finally persuaded his doctor to tell him is was no longer medically qualified to drive. Then, he finally gave up his car keys.

 

This is never an easy thing to do.

 

I am just very thankful I will not have to do it again. At my age, it will probably be my son telling me I can no longer drive😊.

 

Thanks,

 

Jim

[Pabo]

I remember a story of an elderly sister in our congregation was known for her bad driving. One day, she had the C/O with her in her car. When they got to the territory and she pulled up, he jumped out of the car in a flash and told her she was the worst and most dangerous driver he had even been with.

This sister reacted in saying with her Italian accent, "I have been driving for more than 40years and I have never been in a accident".

The C/O replied, "That's because you have never looked behind you and seen all the carnage you had created".

[Mike047]

Maybe the CO was working on his own qualities at the time.

[Pabo]

54 minutes ago, Mike047 said:

Maybe the CO was working on his own qualities at the time.

 

He was saying to her directly what everyone was saying to her husband and her son, both whom were elders at the time, but they refused to discuss it with her.

 

This C/O is very much known around Australia, and I last known that he was in the northern parts of Sydney many years ago after they were retired off the circuit work.

[Mike047]

Glad to hear. Maybe his speak was not as brusque as your original seems to suggest?

[pnutts]

We had similar problem with my dad. Everybody was scared to ride with him. Even an autowrecker in nearby village said he shouldn't be driving. My one sister opposed us on having his license revoked, however she wouldn't ride with him. Finally just before he turned 84 he failed the mandatory test every 2 years after 80 . 

Knew an elder who we were leary of riding with because he would turn around to look at you in back seat while driving. Decades later while wife and married daughter were across in Michigan shopping, he went out for pizza. Ended upside down in water filled ditch while going around a corner. Probably was reaching for pizza box or a slice. His driving never did improve and it cost him his life. This was someone who was a pilot years before.