rocket

A captain notices a light in the distance, on a collision course with his ship. He turns on his signal lamp and sends, "change your course, 10 degrees west." The light signals back, "change yours, 10 degrees east." The captain gets a little annoyed. He signals, "I'm a US Captain. You must change your course, sir. "The light signals back, "I'm a Seaman First Class. You must change your course, sir." Now the captain is mad. He signals, "I'm an aircraft carrier. I'm not changing my course." The light signals back a final message:

My wife just got grumpy at me. She said I yawned six times when she was talking to me just before. They were actually just six attempts to speak.

Husband: Did you know that scientists say women use 30,000 words a day, while men use only 15,000? Wife: Obviously, because we have to repeat everything we say! Husband: What?

I'm confused on how a cemetery can raise it's funeral prices and blame it on the cost of living!

A man brings his buddy home for dinner... unannonced a 7:30 PM after work. His wife begins screaming at him and his friend just sits and listens. Wife: "My hair and makeup are not done, the house is a mess, the dishes are not done, I'm still in my pajamas and I can't be bothered with cooking tonight! Why the h*** did you bring him home?" Husband: "Because he's thinking of getting married and I promised him a demo!"

During a visit to the mental asylum, I asked the director, "How do you determine whether or not a patient should be institutionalised?" "Well, said the director, we fill up a bathtub, then we offer a teaspoon, a teacup and a bucket to the patient and ask him or her to empty the bathtub?" I said. "A normal person would use the bucket because it's bigger than the spoon or the teacup. "No said the director, A normal person would...

According to your own understanding should man do the dishes? Definitely not. Why?

A wife and her husband married for over 30 years were sitting at the dinner table. Suddenly the wife looks at him and says, "Do you remember when you used to hold my hand? The husband sighs reaches out and holds her hand. She continues, do you remember when you used to kiss me on the cheek? He leans over and gives her a kiss. Then she says softly, do you remember how you used to nibble my ear? The husband stands up and starts walking away. Surprised she asks where are you going? He replies...

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I think everyone has 10 minutes to edit a post. After that you can ask a Moderator to make an edit.

sorry, wrong thread. I'm such a bore

I think a nice recipe would be in order in this Forum Banquet of fine dishes

Sadly the inventor of the throat lozenges has died, There will be no coffin at his funeral.

I like smoked salmon too but it is for between meal treat. Smoked salmon is dangerous to give to our small poodles because of SPD from Neorickettsia helminthoeca that's not killed by smoking.

Baked salmon with teriyaki rice and added shrimp.

Today a man with a stutter was convicted and sent to prison for life, but his victims are worried that he won't finish his sentence.

A PERSON walks into a doctors office with two burnt ears. The Doctor asked, "What happened?" The PERSON replied, "The phone rang and I accidentally picked up the iron." The Doctor replied, "And what about the other ear?" The PERSON SAID, "the guy called back!"

I agree but but at times they were not easy to find. As i see it, the only difference now is that they are now available in hd 1920x1080. To make dvd's i use hd 1080x720 and the quality of video is amazing.

Wife to husband: I didn't realize that when I signed up for the marriage package that the ears were sold separate. Husband: hmm, were you talking, I thought I heard a bird fly by. .

Thinking about this can get one unnecessarily confused. Thinking of the first fulfillment of Mtt.24 The Apostles James, Paul & Peter were contemporaries of the generation that saw the destruction of Jerusalem in 70 CE but because they did not see the destruction in there lifetime they were not of that generation ???

Do you know why God made man first instead of a woman? Because...

? scratching my head. When did US become US?

You mentioned Win 11 so you are on a Windows Computer. Could it be a recent Win 11 update that is causing the problem. Could you reverse out of it as an option.

We have been having a mild winter mid 30's F to mid 40's F occasionally getting to the low 50's F. Because of a low pressure system off Alaska the entire west coast of the USA has a "stay off the beach warning." Up to 20' high waves following King Tides makes for danger. Always a few who don't listen and pay the price.