rocket

A police officer called the station on his radio. "I have an intresting case here. An old lady shot her husband for stepping on the floor she just mopped." "Have you arrested the woman?"

Today $4.56 per gallon in my town in Oregon but one State east it is as low as $3.21 per gallon. I think a bit of politics in play here. No way it takes $1.50 a gallon to truck it 70 miles. Both states get their gas from other States via pipeline.

I think I would live in a concrete home with 8" walls and very small windows. We have had tornados' in Oregon but they have been EF .5-1 with very little damage.

While I don't disagree with the 1964 article I find it to be very old but I cannot find nothing newer. Animals are not under the command not to eat blood and many do so daily. The problem is not the animal eating the blood but Christians giving it to them. So it would be wrong to throw a live mouse or rat to a cat to eat because of the blood in it but not wrong for a cat to catch a mouse and eat it without human help.

Isn't the government of Quebec's arm being twisted by the Catholic Church. A little chirping over lost power. I remember talking to a Catholic neighbor years ago when the persecution in Portugal was going on. She said "well the Church has the right to fight for itself." It's mindset hasn't changed much.

I see that you have made your first post so I will take this opportunity to Welcome you. Happy to meet you.

At the airport, I couldn’t find my luggage, so I went to the lost baggage counter. Me: "My bags never showed up." The lady smiled reassuringly. "Don’t worry, sir! I’m a trained professional. Now… has your plane landed yet?" I blinked. Me: "Nope, we’re still circling the airport. The pilot told us we’re third in line to land." Her: "Oh! Okay, well, come back after you land." …Sure thing, genius.

German astronomer Johann Bode proposed Uranus to match the mythological theme of other planets (the Greek god of the sky)

A captain notices a light in the distance, on a collision course with his ship. He turns on his signal lamp and sends, "change your course, 10 degrees west." The light signals back, "change yours, 10 degrees east." The captain gets a little annoyed. He signals, "I'm a US Captain. You must change your course, sir. "The light signals back, "I'm a Seaman First Class. You must change your course, sir." Now the captain is mad. He signals, "I'm an aircraft carrier. I'm not changing my course." The light signals back a final message:

My wife just got grumpy at me. She said I yawned six times when she was talking to me just before. They were actually just six attempts to speak.

Husband: Did you know that scientists say women use 30,000 words a day, while men use only 15,000? Wife: Obviously, because we have to repeat everything we say! Husband: What?

I'm confused on how a cemetery can raise it's funeral prices and blame it on the cost of living!

A man brings his buddy home for dinner... unannonced a 7:30 PM after work. His wife begins screaming at him and his friend just sits and listens. Wife: "My hair and makeup are not done, the house is a mess, the dishes are not done, I'm still in my pajamas and I can't be bothered with cooking tonight! Why the h*** did you bring him home?" Husband: "Because he's thinking of getting married and I promised him a demo!"

During a visit to the mental asylum, I asked the director, "How do you determine whether or not a patient should be institutionalised?" "Well, said the director, we fill up a bathtub, then we offer a teaspoon, a teacup and a bucket to the patient and ask him or her to empty the bathtub?" I said. "A normal person would use the bucket because it's bigger than the spoon or the teacup. "No said the director, A normal person would...

According to your own understanding should man do the dishes? Definitely not. Why?

A wife and her husband married for over 30 years were sitting at the dinner table. Suddenly the wife looks at him and says, "Do you remember when you used to hold my hand? The husband sighs reaches out and holds her hand. She continues, do you remember when you used to kiss me on the cheek? He leans over and gives her a kiss. Then she says softly, do you remember how you used to nibble my ear? The husband stands up and starts walking away. Surprised she asks where are you going? He replies...

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I think everyone has 10 minutes to edit a post. After that you can ask a Moderator to make an edit.

sorry, wrong thread. I'm such a bore

I think a nice recipe would be in order in this Forum Banquet of fine dishes

Sadly the inventor of the throat lozenges has died, There will be no coffin at his funeral.

I like smoked salmon too but it is for between meal treat. Smoked salmon is dangerous to give to our small poodles because of SPD from Neorickettsia helminthoeca that's not killed by smoking.

Baked salmon with teriyaki rice and added shrimp.

Today a man with a stutter was convicted and sent to prison for life, but his victims are worried that he won't finish his sentence.