rocket

I asked my wife, "What's for dinner?" She said, "Nothing" I said, "I had that last night" She said, "I know I made enough for 2 nights."

A woman returned home to find someone robbing it. She yelled, "Stop! Acts 2:38!" He stopped in his tracts. She called the police and explained what was going on. As the officer cuffed the man he asked, "Why did you just stand there? All the lady did was yell a Bible Verse." "Bible Verse?" said the burglar, "She said she had an Axe and two 38's"

Elderly Driver to Police Officer, "Yesterday you pulled me over saying I was speeding, today because I don't have this seatbelt snug enough and tomorrow... what you gonna stop me cause my tires don't have enough air?" Officer LAUGHING saying: "I can't promise I won't."

Young Police Officer to elderly female driver: "Do you know why I pulled you over?" Driver: "No, I was going exactly the speed limit, 22 MPH." Officer: "Ma'am,that's not the speed limit, that's the route number. Driver: "My goodness, I thought I was being so careful." Officer: "Try to keep up with the speed limit, alright." Driver, "Thank you officer." Officer, "By the way, is everyone in the car OK?" Driver,

A woman was found guilty in traffic court and when asked for her occupation she said she was a school teacher. The Judge rose from the bench. "Madam, I have waited years for a school teacher to appear before this court." He smiled with delight. Now sit down at the table and write,

My wife had a doctor's appointment this morning. She said to the doctor, "My husband constantly talks in his sleep, what can I do about it?" Doctor replies, " Give him a chance to speak during the daytime."

A fluffle of hares, no parts needed.

I don't really know as I am waiting for that info myself. I know he was an Elder in not a few Congregations in 3 States I know of, I don't know what their limit on zoom logins if any will be.

Jerry & Gertrude 2017 while living in Newport, Oregon

The teacher ask the class to draw pictures of their favorite Bible stories. She was puzzled by little Johnny's picture which showed four people on an aircraft, so she ask him which story it was meant to represent. "The flight to Egypt," little Johnny replied. "I see... and that must be Mary, Joseph and baby Jesus," she said. "But who's the fourth person?"

My wife, on one of her rare visits to London had a credit card stolen. I monitored the use of the card. and I have to say, I didn't report it to the Police because the Thief was spending less than she was.

9 out of 10 husbands agreed that their wives are always right The 10th husband hasn't been seen since the study was conducted.

What's your biggest regret? Not listening to my wife's advice. What was the advice? I ain't sure I wasn't listening.

Some years ago A brother and sister from Russia visited our Zoom Chats quite regularly. The Brother could not understand English at all but used a translating device to communicate with. The sister taught English in Russia but with a Russian accent, thus it was difficult for her to understand us unless we talked very slow. The translating devices have their place but I wouldn't swear by their accuracy. Maybe just a rough idea of what is being said. As to theocratic terms, I would say they are absolutely worthless.

Our beloved member Old/Jerry has passed away. 89 years of age. A dear friend of many on the Forum. https://jwtalk.net/profile/4460-old/

October Broadcast is available at 131

https://www.jw.org/en/news/region/global/2025-Governing-Body-Update-6/ 2025 Governing Body Update #6 2026 yeartext and a new original song. My Spiritual Need

Our weather this week is mild with a hint of Fall in the air. The day begins in the 50's F and rises to early 80's.

I don't procrastinate. I intentionally wait until the last minute because then I will be older, and therefore wiser. Bill Underwood

I reckon you'll have to group short jokes in with blonde jokes. Some people are just sensitive. Now I'm both short and summer blonde and I find both funny. Now bald jokes are fighting words. 😂

Bottom line, The Branch does not promote any social media internet site and warns of the spiritual danger of frequenting such sites. However they do not make rules and it is a personal decision to be a member or not. I have personally been raked over the coals for being a member of Jwtalk by my elders but they also said it was a personal decision. If one is aware of the dangers it can be an encouraging place to visit. In one of the Cong. I was in, our Book Study conductor was Apostate for years before he walked away with his family from the Truth. On JWTalk as soon as Apostates are identified as such they are banned or made a Former Member without delay. We do not spend years, days or even hours waiting to keep the site clean. This also goes for trouble makers who only want to argue and cause disunity. If one is not here to encourage others or to get help and support maybe they are in the wrong place. That said, like in any Cong. on earth you will find all of the friends at different levels of spiritual maturity. Thus on occasion you will come across off the wall comments and wonder if they are really JW's or not. Look for the positive and you will be encouraged, look for the negative and you will be discouraged. Have you ever been in a car group where one person is always negative, talking continually about their ills and troubles. It takes a brave person to turn the negative into a positive, be that person.

Do you happen to have a copy of that song book with the "he had never seen rain before" quote. If so could you post a picture of the song in the following Thread? https://jwtalk.net/topic/61340-no-rain-before-flood-older-kingdom-melody/ The song "Extending Mercy to Others"

Don't we have a clear position from Jehovah on Idolatry? It was only pagan intrusion into the Christian Congregation that let birthday celebrations seep in.

What is the secret to 50 years of marriage. Well, one day she is right. The next day she's right again and on the third day I'm

If you put teabags in your shoes it will absorb the odor and your shoes will smell great but the tea tastes so awful it almost isn't worth it.