rocket

I don't procrastinate. I intentionally wait until the last minute because then I will be older, and therefore wiser. Bill Underwood

I reckon you'll have to group short jokes in with blonde jokes. Some people are just sensitive. Now I'm both short and summer blonde and I find both funny. Now bald jokes are fighting words. 😂

Bottom line, The Branch does not promote any social media internet site and warns of the spiritual danger of frequenting such sites. However they do not make rules and it is a personal decision to be a member or not. I have personally been raked over the coals for being a member of Jwtalk by my elders but they also said it was a personal decision. If one is aware of the dangers it can be an encouraging place to visit. In one of the Cong. I was in, our Book Study conductor was Apostate for years before he walked away with his family from the Truth. On JWTalk as soon as Apostates are identified as such they are banned or made a Former Member without delay. We do not spend years, days or even hours waiting to keep the site clean. This also goes for trouble makers who only want to argue and cause disunity. If one is not here to encourage others or to get help and support maybe they are in the wrong place. That said, like in any Cong. on earth you will find all of the friends at different levels of spiritual maturity. Thus on occasion you will come across off the wall comments and wonder if they are really JW's or not. Look for the positive and you will be encouraged, look for the negative and you will be discouraged. Have you ever been in a car group where one person is always negative, talking continually about their ills and troubles. It takes a brave person to turn the negative into a positive, be that person.

Do you happen to have a copy of that song book with the "he had never seen rain before" quote. If so could you post a picture of the song in the following Thread? https://jwtalk.net/topic/61340-no-rain-before-flood-older-kingdom-melody/ The song "Extending Mercy to Others"

Don't we have a clear position from Jehovah on Idolatry? It was only pagan intrusion into the Christian Congregation that let birthday celebrations seep in.

What is the secret to 50 years of marriage. Well, one day she is right. The next day she's right again and on the third day I'm

If you put teabags in your shoes it will absorb the odor and your shoes will smell great but the tea tastes so awful it almost isn't worth it.

A truck loaded with Vicks Vaporub overturned of the highway... Amazingly, there was no congestion for 8 hours.

This is a personal choice IMHO. I personally leave flowers on a family grave but others in the family do not.

A dog has 3 puppies 🐶🐶🐶 Sunday, Monday & Tuesday. What is the Mother's name?

Some people, my mother included, have to have their keys taken away/disappear.

While he mentioned nationalism or religious reasons to avoid toasting. One occasion where it might not offend is at a wedding reception wherein the bride and groom toast as they share a glass of wine. Some in the audience might also find it non-offensive to toast the bride and groom. At a wedding anniversary dinner is another occasion. Motive in both occasion might be the determining factor.

That's bad because the sister broke her ankle on the front door stoop trying the find the guy at home again.

Our six-year-old handed us a note. His teacher had called my wife and I in for an emergency meeting. We asked our son if he had any idea why, and he said, "She didn't like a drawing I did." We went in the next day. His teacher pulled the drawing below out and said, "I asked him to draw his familv and he drew this. Would you mind explaining?" "Not at all." my wife said.

A husband and wife were fast a sleep one night when a loud knock echoed through the house. The husband groggily rolled over and glanced at the clock, 3:30 A.M. and grumbled his way downstairs to see who could possibly be at the door. When he opened it there stood a drunk man, swaying slightly with a sheepish grin on his face. "Hey there. buddy," the stranger slurred. "Can you give me a push?" The husband scowed, "Are you kidding me? It's half past three in the morning. Go Home." And with that he slammed the door and stomped back up stairs. Climbing into bed he told his wife what happened. She sat up and gave him the look. "Dave," she said "that wasn't very nice. Remember when our car broke down in the rain and you had to knock on a stranger's door for help? What if he had told you to get lost?" Feeling guilty Dave sighed, got dressed, grabbed his shoes, and even gathered some tools ready for whatever car trouble the man might have. He opened the door and called out into the Dark. "Hey, you still need that push?" A cheerful voice replied, "yes please." Where are you?" Dave shouted. The drunk answered,

It would appear to me that you are signed up, you posted a comment.

Do you know why married women are heavier than single women? Because single women come home and see what's in the fridge and go to bed. Married women come home and see what's in bed and go to the fridge.

Thank you! I really a`

Ya, me too, now I enjoy blond and bald jokes. Pokes fun at myself.

A blonde is tired of all these blonde jokes and how all blondes are perceived as stupid. So she decides to show her husband that blondes really are smart. While her husband is off at work, she decides that she is going to paint a couple of rooms in the house. The next day, right after her husband leaves for work, she gets down to the task at hand. Her husband arrives home at 5:30 and smells the distinctive smell of paint. He walks into the living room and finds his wife lying on the floor in a pool of sweat. He notices that she is wearing a ski jacket and a fur coat at the same time. He goes over and asks her if she is OK. She replies, yes. He asks what she is doing. She replies that she wanted to prove to him that not all blonde women are dumb and she wanted to do it by painting. He then asks her why she has a ski jacket over her fur coat. She replies

There were three little boys visiting their grandparents. The oldest came out and asked his grandpa, "Can you make a sound like a Frog, Grandpa?" Grandpa, being in a kind of ill mood, responds,"No, I don't really want to make the sound of a frog now." So, the second little boy comes out and asks his grandfather, "Will you please make a sound like a frog?" Grandpa again says, "No. not now. I don't really want to do that. I'm in a grumpy mood. Maybe later." Then the third little boy comes out and says, "Grandpa, oh please... Please will you make a sound like a frog?" "Why do all of you boys want me to make a sound like a frog?" Grandpa asked. The little boy replied with a hopeful face,

That's Good because some things in life need forgetting.

A Witness couple had two little boys, ages 8 and 10, who were excessively mischievous. They were always getting into trouble and their parents knew that, if any mischief occurred in their town, their sons were probably behind it. The boy's mother heard that an Elder in the Cong. had been successful in disciplining children, so she asked if he would speak with her boys. The Elder agreed but asked to see them individually. So the mother sent her 8 year-old first, in the morning, with the older boy to see the Elder in the afternoon. The Elder, a huge man with a booming voice, sat the younger boy down and asked him sternly, "Where is God?" The boy made no response, sitting there with his mouth hanging open, wide-eyed. So the Elder repeated the question in an even sterner tone, "Where is God!!?" Again the boy made no attempt to answer. So the Elder raised his voice even more and shook his finger in the boy's face and bellowed, "WHERE IS GOD!?" The boy screamed and bolted from the room, ran directly home and hid in his wardrobe. When his older brother found him, he asked, "What happened?" The younger brother, gasping for breath, replied,

A man is stumbling through the woods, totally drunk, when he comes upon a preacher baptizing people in the river. He proceeds into the water, subsequently bumping into the preacher. The preacher turns around and is almost overcome by the smell of alcohol, whereupon, he asks the drunk, "Are you ready to find Jesus?" The drunk shouts, "Yes I am!" So the preacher grabs him and dunks him in the water. He pulls him back and asks, "Brother have you found Jesus?" The drunk replies, "No, I haven't found Jesus." The preacher, shocked at the answer, dunks him again but for a little longer. He again pulls him out of the water and asks, "Have you found Jesus, brother?" The drunk replies, "No, I haven't found Jesus." At this point the preacher is at his wit's end and dunks the drunk again- but this time, he holds him down for about 30 seconds, and when he begins kicking his arms and legs about, he pulls him up. The preacher again asks the drunk, "For the love of God, have you found Jesus?!" The drunk staggers upright, wipes his eyes, coughs up a bit of water, catches his breath, and says to the preacher, "Are you sure this is where he fell in?"

A blonde was trying to sell her old car. She was having a lot of problems selling it because the car had almost 230,000 miles on it. One day she told her problem to a brunette she worked with at a salon. The brunette told her, "There is a possibility to make the car easier to sell, but it's not legal." "That doesn't matter," replied the blonde, "if I can only sell the car." "Okay," said the brunette. "Here is the address of a friend of mine. He owns a car repair shop. Tell him I sent you and he will 'fix it'. Then you shouldn't have a problem anymore trying to sell your car." The following weekend, the blonde made the trip to the mechanic. About one month after that, the brunette asked the blonde, "Did you sell your car?" "No," replied the blonde, "Why should I? It only has 50,000 miles on it!"