Banking as a couple

[Cheeks]

My wife and I have been married for almost 10 years (no kids) and the majority of the time we have kept separate bank accounts and never combined the two.

 

To me this feels like roomates rather than an actual couple.

 

Since money is a hot-button issue with many couples, how have some of you structured your banking as a married couple?

[Sylv]

One joint chequing account and a joint savings account, two credit cards, one in each of our names as the primary, with the other as secondary account holder (that way we both have a credit history). Both our pays get deposited to the same account.

 

It is our money, not his or hers.

[Elijahsmama]

We have a family accounts that my husband pays 99% of the bills. He controls the money in and out of that. I rarely know how much is in them. He has business (several) accounts. I have a bank account which my paycheck is deposited (savings too). I pay for groceries, several small bills, personall stuff (nails and hair). I also save for vacations and extra special things like convention. Once in a while my husband deposits some money since my paycheck is modest. . He runs his construction company and he is the breadwinner so he gets to pay the big bills.

Edited February 18, 2015 by Elijahsmama

[Dustparticle]

I wonder what Bonnie & Clyde answer would be?

[Ahuvah]

We have always had a joint chequing and savings account. Very simple and streamlined.

[Cheeks]

We have always had a joint chequing and savings account. Very simple and streamlined.

 

Stupid question but when you want something is there a limit where you ask your spouse? 

[Elijahsmama]

Stupid question but when you want something is there a limit where you ask your spouse?

Simple answer

Wife = no limit

Husband = limit and all purchases over 1.00 dollar have to be discussed with wife.

Just kidding!!!!!!!

[Qapla]

We started out with a joint account. Then, later, when my wife was working for the school system they had direct deposit with special rates with a different bank - so, she opened an account there. In addition to having the accounts in different banks so that all our assets are not "sold" with all the bank buy-outs and mergers that were happening for a while, this also allowed my wife to have credit and account in her name in case something happened to me.

 

We still have the joint account that is mostly used by me. She still has her account - used by her. We each pay certain bills that fit with what we each make. All the money is still ours since, if some is needed in the other account, we just transfer it or use each others debit card.

 

I also have a joint account with my brother - since we are joint owners of the property we live one and split the taxes.

 

We have been married for 34 years and it has worked just fine for us.

[Tazzy]

Always joint from the beginning. This was all I knew based upon my parents marriage / example.

I did our bookkeeping / taxes (small business), but I also worked outside of that and had a bank account for them to deposit my pay. I can't remember if that account also was joint (I worked for the bank and I think it was because we had reduced fees).

Anyway, from the start, my husband wanted to know what I was spending even on groceries (which I had no problem with and we had a system of keeping receipts so it was always open for him to know - he just never looked or cared about the finances and bills. I kept him in the loop by listing our income and expenditures monthly.)

We had a set amount we could each have for free spending monthly that we would withdraw and each had that pocket money.

After kids, it really went downhill. I was sick thru the pregnancy and for about 1 1/2 yrs after our 1st was born. I still did the business books and paid the bills for both business and household but If there were groceries to be bought, he was doing that. Spending then went totally out of control. He didn't budget for anything and bought whatever he liked and not usually items I could make a meal with. (Pickles and fancy olives and specialty cheeses etc). Soon he became more secretive and was opening his own bank accounts and making deposits from the other accounts. (I didn't know at first and wondered why we were always short - he was taking cash out and saying he was using it for groceries or business expenses but receipts went 'missing' , were 'lost'.) He also opened credit cards and applied for overdraft at his own discretion (I had no say even tho he signed my name and opened an account in my name on one without my knowledge or permission - I later dealt with that thru the company)

At this time I was working to pay down debts on cards he'd rung up but making no headway because he was still going out and purchasing high end stereo items and just gadgets and things that he thought were cool. One time he bid on a printer online but ended up bidding and winning 3 different printers (we only needed one!)

Fast forward to seoaration, I had no cash of my own and joint debt that I ended up paying for (bank overdraft that he applied for but because I was joint on account I was responsible for even tho they never got my signature for it).

Now, if I were to do it again or ever marry again (not likely), would I have joint accounts? I'm not sure. Would depend upon how they handle money and a lot of other trust issues.

Edited February 19, 2015 by Tazzy

[Sheila]

Not sure how it works with the rest of the world, but here in Australia, if you have a joint bank account, and if your husband or wife dies, that account is automatically frozen and the living partner cannot access any money at all, and the account remains frozen until a death certificate is produced (usually several weeks).   So the remaining partner has to find money from another source.   It pays us to have our own separate accounts.

 

Also, if there is no power-of-attorney given to anyone, there are huge consequences if one partner becomes unconscious for a lengthy period of time.   An insurance broker friend told us of a woman who had a car accident and was in a coma for several years, the two small children of the marriage outgrew their small bedroom, but the husband couldnt sell their tiny property as there was no power-of-attorney.  He had to go to court and have a judgement made - very expensive.   My own husband refuses to allow anyone to have access to his affairs, so he wont sign any POA forms. 

 

Another thing - having re-draw facilities available on your mortgage is fine and dandy when everythings going well, but once things start turning bad, (a marriage breakdown or dementia or pressure from children (yes, it happens)) then one partner can very easily re-draw large amounts without reference to the other partner on the mortgage. 

 

We live in Satans world and things go wrong all the time.   Its always best to be aware of what can go wrong, even if it never happens.     Murphys Law is always there.

[ava]

Stupid question but when you want something is there a limit where you ask your spouse? 

 

Married 19 yrs and have a joint checking and savings account, it's just easier.  We both have our own individual credit though.  My car is in my name, my husband's car is in his name.  When I went back to work 4 yrs ago, I started working on getting my own credit without his name or income on it.  Granted he makes more money then I do, so my credit limits are lot less, but at least I have built up my own credit in my name.  Just financed some new furniture 2 months ago and I did it myself without my husband's income/credit info.  

 

I take care of the family budget and paying the bills as my husband hates doing it, and honestly  I just have more time then he does, and I 'm better at budgeting.

 

We don't ask each other if we can spend money.  Both my husband and I know how much money we have and we don't feel the need to ask for a spending limit.  Now if we are making a very large purchase, we will discuss a limit as to what we will spend.  For small things like clothes and stuff, we just buy what we need.  My husband and I are both good with money and don't go on shopping sprees or anything.  If I need some new clothes, I just go buy them.  My husband knows I won't go crazy at the mall, and the same for him.

[Tazzy]

Having the same values or attitude on money helps.

Some are never educated on budgeting or saving before they get married. That's hard to change later.

When my kids were born, we agreed to deposit their baby bonus into an account we set up for each of them - in trust for them with both us parents on as holders of the account. Later, it was discovered he was withdrawing money from those accounts. He shouldn't have been able to because it required 2 signatures to do so. I don't know to this day if he forged mine or sweet talked the girls at the bank to let him (he had a way of doing so). I never pursued it because, well, I was kind of shell shocked when I finally left. The kids lost $20,000 from that and life insurance we had also set up for them when born that he again borrowed on without my signature (also joint ownership on those policies). I could have taken over the life insurance and let it build back up but he wouldn't give me ownership and the rep said he'd likely just borrow on it again if I did pay off the loans because he was part owner. He's gotten away with lots of stuff that shouldn't have been able to happen. In Jehovah's hands now.

Even his brother asked me if he had a gambling problem or something. Elders wondered if he was on drugs. It was crazy how much there was coming in thru his earnings but never saw the money. And no worldly goods, no assets to show for it. It still baffles me what he did with the money.

Should have been so simple but wasn't.

I now have set up a budget and try to keep my kids involved in grocery shopping, flyer browsing, list making, saving and paying household bills. They know the perils of credit too and are sufficiently wary. I try to keep them involved but still worry they will have tendencies (well my daughter mostly) to ignore the lessons. I hope even my daughter with limited ability will have learned something for her future use of handling money.

Edited February 19, 2015 by Tazzy

[Miss Bea]

For some thirty years, seperate checking, and some credit cards. It's been hard because the initial plan of my husband was to split everything down the middle. Everything. I told him I thought he needed to at least feed me. Before long, It was his fifty-fifty. And I have never been good with money never. I paid my car payment, my car insurance, and upkeep and gas. Plus clothing,etc, and spiritual needs. Took me a while, but I learned to handle money. I ended up with having to pay off a pretty large credit card balance. I did it!

Retirement scared me. But it has really worked. He saved for both us to get new vehicles. He paid cash for his, and financed a small portion of my car. And he is paying for it. Plus the insurance. Plus, he is paying for our food. I pay for my gas, and clothing, and spiritual essentials. And, he makes sure I don't go without anything I want.

And, we don't have a lot of money. But he planned really well for us to retire. Even has a nest egg started to buy another round of vehicles. I've ended up trusting him, so when I come into extra money, I give it to him. Jehovah has blessed me in so many ways.

[Precision]

Joint accounts are never overdrawn by the wife...just under deposited by DH   

[ReadYourBible]

Simple answer

Wife = no limit

Husband = limit and all purchases over 1.00 dollar have to be discussed with wife.

Just kidding!!!!!!!

LOL!

 

The thing is SOME men do need to be policed.  If you were to give me $500, and my husband $500, at the end of the week, I'd probably still have my loot.  

 

One time earlier on in my husband and I's relationship he went out to purchase bread, and came back with a new truck.  I am absolutely NOT joking.

 

In our household, we had three accounts.  2 personal, 1 joint.  After a time, I got to see we were paying triple bank fees, and in some cases excess ones because of interac purchases in excess of the 50 we were allowed by the plan.  To save money, we trimmed our accounts and now are using two.  

Eventually, it will be only one.  The joint one.  

[trottigy]

We have always had a joint account - until Debbie started her own accounting business. She keep a business account for that, but I do have access to. No hidden money.

 

Some time ago we went over the new brochure for our family worship and I remember this coming up for one of the chapters:

 

http://m.wol.jw.org/en/wol/d/r1/lp-e/1102014394

 

IT was this box that caused the most discussion:

 

 

WHAT YOU CAN DO:

Agree on an amount that each of you can spend without having to consult the other

Do not wait until a problem arises before you talk about money

 

The amount is much lower for me than her  

[Sylv]

Stupid question but when you want something is there a limit where you ask your spouse? 

No limit, just common sense. Neither of us are frivolous spenders, and any big purchases are well researched and discussed. Of course we do at times get something impulsively, but it has never caused a problem.

[trottigy]

Stupid question but when you want something is there a limit where you ask your spouse? 

 

My limit is $20 (because what am I going to buy???) and hers is $100 - as she doens't feel she needs to ask to buys some clothes and a pair of shoes 

 

[CHecker]

We have 3 accounts which I'm the main signer on because I handle all the money. He has a debit card where he can check balances or get money whenever he wants. When he deposits his check he usually takes some for his pocket and I don't ask how much. As long as I have enough to pay bills and keep paying extra on the last 2 we are in process of paying off. We live with the thought that if we can't pay cash we don't get what we want. When we do need something, like a new couch and 2 club chairs, we save for it first. We have almost enough to buy the couch now and I can save enough next month to buy the chairs. I DO NOT like bills in the mail and do whatever I can to avoid it. And he agrees. So I guess John, my answer is yes to a joint account, for us anyway. I'm thinking that it's a hot topic because maybe one is overspending and doesn't want to get caught or wants to spend without regard to the opinion of the other 50% partner. Respect and communication has got to be a priority.

 

Personally Romans 13:8 resonates in my brain all the time. Here's what a '99 Awake! said:  The apostle Paul exhorted Christians not to be “owing anybody a single thing, except to love one another.” (Romans 13:8) While Paul was stating a broad principle here, his advice can certainly be taken as a caution against incurring debt. Sometimes it is better to go without than to owe money to someone else. 

[Toy Poodles]

Bill and I have also been married for 10yrs. Since my other 2 husbands didn't work and having a joint account meant many overdrawn penalties and other problems and arguments.

Therefore when I married Bill I told him that I have my acct and he has his. Now that I know that I can trust him and that we both are money savers, we have both our names on each acct. 

I still use my acct. and he uses his. We split the bill's since we make approx the same each every month and we talk about everything we buy including food products. 

I do encourage him to buy quality tools when we can afford it and we both save together for joint ventures like getting the barn floor cemented. 

When I go clothes shopping which is 2-3 times a year because I hate it. Bill comes with me and waits at Catos as I take in a large assortment and pick out what I like and get matching shoes if needed and then we are out of there. 

I do have to pull him by the nose into the stores to get him a new suit which is another thing we need to do before our Assembly.