An affair of the heart

[GraceH]

Hi all,

 

I need some help. I have never met this brother but I saw him in in a recording of a convention. I am in Australia. I think he lives in Patterson, New York (Patterson congregation). I cannot contact them to find out who this brother is. Nor, can I leave a voicemail via their machine.

 

Some help please. How would I go about tracking this brother down? He is super cute.

 

Thanks.

[M.J.]

I would pray for Jehovah's direction first.

The next thing is, how do you know he's not already married?

If word gets around that a sister from Australia is trying to track him down, how will that make him feel?

What if you have fundamental differences?

What if he is completely opposed to online forums? And against dating anyone who chats on them?

[JennyM]

In my country, its not good to contact a brother first. 

Edited June 10, 2020 by JennyM

[GraceH]

Just now, JennyM said:

In my country, its not good to contact a brother first. 

Different here. But I understand where you are coming from.

[JennyM]

1 hour ago, GraceH said:

Different here. But I understand where you are coming from.

wow.. its  not the same here.. Women are degraded here if you show a guy that you are interested.  It also applies  jw's. 

[GraceH]

1 minute ago, JennyM said:

wow.. its  not the same here.. Women are degraded here if you show a guy that you are interested.  It also applies  jw's. 

Again, I can understand where you are coming from. But, here, in Australia if done appropriately it can be the opposite - attractive that a person has the confidence, boldness and honesty to show interest. Again, depends upon the circumstances and the person/s involved.

[JennyM]

1 hour ago, GraceH said:

Again, I can understand where you are coming from. But, here, in Australia if done appropriately it can be the opposite - attractive that a person has the confidence, boldness and honesty to show interest. Again, depends upon the circumstances and the person/s involved.

yes.. Im also attracted to those qualities. A brother always calls me and he doesn't have any definite plan for us and so I didn't entertain him any longer.. I already have many friends. Im not dating to find a friend..  

[GraceH]

1 minute ago, JennyM said:

yes.. Im also attracted to those qualities. A brother always calls me and he doesn't have any definite plan for us and so I didn't entertain him any longer.. I already have many friends. Im not dating to find a friend..  

Lol. It can go either way. That is why it is so scary putting yourself out there. Life is to short to be left guessing what if ...

[GraceH]

2 hours ago, M.J. said:

I would pray for Jehovah's direction first.

The next thing is, how do you know he's not already married?

If word gets around that a sister from Australia is trying to track him down, how will that make him feel?

What if you have fundamental differences?

What if he is completely opposed to online forums? And against dating anyone who chats on them?

Good questions M.J. First, I would say you are right in some of your assumptions. At the time he was not wearing a ring - could be a different situation now. But.....like I said you don't know if you don't try.

[JennyM]

1 hour ago, GraceH said:

Lol. It can go either way. That is why it is so scary putting yourself out there. Life is to short to be left guessing what if ...

yea.. he took the initiative for the early months and I was putting all the effort to  be closer to him but hes not making enough effort. So Im done.... I need a 2 way relationship not just one way. 

[GraceH]

1 minute ago, JennyM said:

yea.. he took the initiative for the early months and I was putting all the effort to  be closer to him but hes not making enough effort. So Im done.... I need a 2 way relationship not just one way. 

Yeah, your words conjure up this image. Time to move on. Lol

[Meditate!]

3 minutes ago, GraceH said:

. Life is to short to be left guessing what if ...

Perhaps you were joking, but I find this a very strange comment.

 

We have everlasting life in view, don't we? Don't let this system's view affect your actions or thinking.

 

This life is not it..LOL

[GraceH]

2 hours ago, M.J. said:

I would pray for Jehovah's direction first.

Yes, this is the best guidance to follow.

Just now, Alan said:

Perhaps you were joking, but I find this a very strange comment.

 

We have everlasting life in view, don't we? Don't let this system's view affect your actions or thinking.

 

This life is not it..LOL

Oh, yeah I see where you are coming from. Of course we have forever. You make a good point.

[carlos]

3 hours ago, M.J. said:

The next thing is, how do you know he's not already married?

Well, I understand Grace's intention is not to call him to propose him marriage, but to get to know more about him.

 

 

[GraceH]

9 minutes ago, carlos said:

Well, I understand Grace's intention is not to call him to propose him marriage, but to get to know more about him.

 

 

Thanks. 😂😂😂 I appreciate the support. This is taking a lot courage (and probably stupidity at its finest hour). Lol.

Edited June 10, 2020 by GraceH

[My little flower]

infact you are to commended for trying to find someone among God's people.

[M.J.]

2 hours ago, carlos said:

Well, I understand Grace's intention is not to call him to propose him marriage, but to get to know more about him.

 

 

If he's married, and word gets around,  it will become quite a story Just don't want our sister to unintentionally become the talk of the town

[M.J.]

@GraceH

So my dear, how serious are you about this? I ask you in seriousness.

May I ask how old you are?

Is this a long term goal or will you forget about it by next week?

How long ago did you see this video of him for the first time?

 

And I can relate to how you feel, in the past I've also seen a nice brother give a talk at an assembly and had a wonderful daydream about meeting him...and after the assembly was over,  I was volunteering to clean, and guess who was giving the directions!

Edited June 10, 2020 by M.J.
addition

[carlos]

58 minutes ago, M.J. said:

And I can relate to how you feel, in the past I've also seen a nice brother give a talk at an assembly and had a wonderful daydream about meeting him...and after the assembly was over,  I was volunteering to clean, and guess who was giving the directions!

I remember a brother was interviewed at an assembly. He explained that he had resolved not to get married so that he could attend the Ministerial Training School and then serve where the need is great. During that interview I was seated next a a friend of mine, a very nice sister, who told me: "Hmm, I have to meet that brother."

 

After the program she managed to get in touch with him, they got to know each other better... and his plans to remain single were ruined.

 

They are a wonderful very spiritual couple.

[Saffron]

Not long ago a friend confided in me that she met a brother a gathering far from here and couldn't get him off her mind. She didn't even know his name. 

 

Within hours, I quietly found out his name, age, congregation, general friend circle, and the fact that he was single. When my job of detective was over, I then had to host a gathering and find a way to get this brother an invitation. See what good friends do for each other? 🤣

 

Do you have any kind of photo? Screen shot from video or anything? You might need that if you want to do any quiet investigating. 

 

[well]

Oh wow... I admire your boldness and effort to search for him... 

 

I agree to find him out rather than just daydreaming and doing nothing... If he's married, knowing it earlier is better... 

 

 

[JennyM]

2 hours ago, carlos said:

I remember a brother was interviewed at an assembly. He explained that he had resolved not to get married so that he could attend the Ministerial Training School and then serve where the need is great. During that interview I was seated next a a friend of mine, a very nice sister, who told me: "Hmm, I have to meet that brother."

 

After the program she managed to get in touch with him, they got to know each other better... and his plans to remain single were ruined.

 

They are a wonderful very spiritual couple.

A lot of guys here don't like that kind of approach that sisters should make first move.... But not all of course, there are brothers who are open to that .. Brothers who are coward to ask a sister to date. 

[Hope]

Way too many married brothers don't wear a wedding ring, so please don't assume an empty hand represents a single status. 😒

[well]

2 minutes ago, JennyM said:

A lot of guys here don't like that kind of approach that sisters should make first move.... But not all of course, there are brothers who are open to that .. Brothers who are coward to ask a sister to date. 

I do believe it's all about how you approach the brother... Not to chase him aggresively, but attract him to chase you... If he showed no interest, just leave... Of course it needs discernment and common sense to do so... 

[JennyM]

1 hour ago, ivy said:

I do believe it's all about how you approach the brother... Not to chase him aggresively, but attract him to chase you... If he showed no interest, just leave... Of course it needs discernment and common sense to do so... 

. Brothers can sense what's your motive right away.... So yea, they can respectfully say no. 

However, men here are more on traditional.. 

I don't say that its wrong for sisters to make the move. Its just brothers here are not so open to that... A Spanish brother approach me after my interview in the assembly but he didn't get my number. The next assembly I saw him with his wife 

Asian brothers arent so friendly with sisters... Thats why I like European brothers.. It would be easier to approach the one you like if thats the case.