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An affair of the heart


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8 minutes ago, JennyM said:

. Brothers can sense what's your motive right away.... So yea, they can respectfully say no. 

However, men here are more on traditional.. 

I don't say that its wrong for sisters to make the move. Its just brothers here are not so open to that... A Spanish brother approach me after my interview in the assembly but he didn't get my number. The next assembly I saw him with his wife 

Asian brothers arent so friendly with sisters... Thats why I like European brothers.. It would be easier to approach the one you like if thats the case. 

Yup! Some are not open minded, and who would like to marry them either 😄

 

In most cases, saying no is unnecessary, you know when somebody is showing boundaries or uninterested, like keeping the conversation formal and he doesn't want to spend time with you... 

:bouncing:

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7 minutes ago, Saffron said:

Is this a new thing? 

Not in my experience. Lots of brothers don't wear wedding bands. All sorts of excuses.. 🤷🏽‍♀️ 

 

I've told them that sisters always look at the hand of a brother they might find attractive and I've known many sisters embarrassed after asking after such a brother, only to discover they're not available. 

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Quote

look at the hand of a brother they might find attractive  

I'm in no danger then. lol

 

i quit wearing my wedding band regularly about 2 years after we got married. 

 

I started maintaining equipment that had many snags. no jewelry or loose clothes allowed.  After that I worked with electical components and other such things that were snag hazards.

It finally got to the point where i kept it on my key ring for many years. I then started wearing it again when we went out.

 

I lost it at some point in the many places we lived after our house fire. It wasn't in any stuff that was returned or that we carried with us.

 

it's okay though, my wife lost her engagement ring 4 years after we got married. She thinks our oldest tossed it in the trash or it ended fell off the sink into something. that was 22 years ago. doesn't bother either of us not to wear them. 

 


Edited by Leon J
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It's not easy when you want to get married, but do be careful about your heart. Try not to dwell so much on the possibilities until you get some kind of information about the brother. I had a friend here back a few years ago that was totally fluttery in love with a brother in our circle of friends. She would always drive an hour out of her way in order to make sure she was around the group, and particularly to see him. He, on the other hand, just viewed her as a friend. Treated her the same as his other sister friends.

 

Well, one day she invited a few over to her place, including another nice, available, spiritual single brother who had brought her a bouquet of flowers. She didn't think anything of it. OTOH, this brother (who, by the way, was already divorced twice and not looking to get married) had brought along whatever he could find at his place, which was a package of expired chocolate hearts. She was so impressed, and couldn't stop dissecting and analyzing it and how that must have meant something. Well, I couldn't just ignore the growing feelings she was having for him, so I told him that she was in love with him. Well, after he realized the situation, he quickly put it to bed, so-to-speak, expressing his non-interest to her.

 

That didn't go over so well. She accused him of leading her on. It really crushed her, and took her awhile to get over it. So...moral of the story is...protect the affairs of your heart... 😉


Edited by Lieblingskind

- Read the Bible daily 

The chariot is moving ❤️‍🔥

 

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47 minutes ago, Leon J said:

I'm in no danger then. lol

 

i quit wearing my wedding band regularly about 2 years after we got married. 

 

I started maintaining equipment that had many snags. no jewelry or loose clothes allowed.  After that I worked with electical components and other such things that were snag hazards.

It finally got to the point where i kept it on my key ring for many years. I then started wearing it again when we went out.

 

I lost it at some point in the many places we lived after our house fire. It wasn't in any stuff that was returned or that we carried with us.

 

it's okay though, my wife lost her engagement ring 4 years after we got married. She thinks our oldest tossed it in the trash or it ended fell off the sink into something. that was 22 years ago. doesn't bother either of us not to wear them. 

 

I understand. But I wasn't really talking about if married people are bothered or not.

 

If you don't wear a ring, people will assume you are not married unless they know you or your family.  It's easier to avoid misunderstandings if status is clear. 🤷🏽‍♀️

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My wife nor I wear our rings - we haven't for more than 30 years ... our original rings no longer fit :eek:

 

Due to lines of work we could not wear them while working - and after a while .... well, you know - neither of us wears a watch either.

 

I might mention, there are some on the forum from NJ ... who knows, maybe one of them will speak up.

"Let all things take place decently and by arrangement."
~ 1 Corinthians 14:40 ~

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Again... I think we've all heard and understand the reasons why married people don't wear rings. I know many couples who will buy larger rings as anniversary presents when the originals don't fit. Of course, that's their choice.

 

What singles are trying to make you aware of is how that bare hand may be perceived. If there is no ring, single status may be presumed.

 

The sister who started this thread noted that the brother she's interested in wasn't wearing a ring. If he was wearing one, this topic wouldn't exist. If she's interested in a married man, well... that's embarrassing. A ring would've prevented that.

 

These things happen in real life, too.


Edited by Hope
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11 hours ago, JennyM said:

A lot of guys here don't like that kind of approach that sisters should make first move.... But not all of course, there are brothers who are open to that .. Brothers who are coward to ask a sister to date. 

Sister Jenny, if a brother is shy or reserved by nature, I don't think viewing him as a "coward" will help. Besides, there is a lot of wisdom in taking one's time.

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2 hours ago, Bjern said:

Sister Jenny, if a brother is shy or reserved by nature, I don't think viewing him as a "coward" will help. Besides, there is a lot of wisdom in taking one's time.

One of the brother told me indirectly that hes interested but hes older than my father.. I didn't response positively. 

On the other hand, we were rumored by the congregation with this brother because I was new in the congregation and I was giving him commendation. I am friendly to any visitors, brother or sisters.. But this congregation seems to make a deal when  a single brother or sister are talking.    So I start to like the brother but  rumored went first than our relationship, I was put off..The rumor was that he likes me ... But he never asked me out so I was put off. 

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2 hours ago, Bjern said:

Sister Jenny, if a brother is shy or reserved by nature, I don't think viewing him as a "coward" will help. Besides, there is a lot of wisdom in taking one's time.

Plus some brothers *ahem* (😂) might be very hesitant to ask anybody to court with them because they have been turned down too many times--even when there may be mutual interest.

 

As a selectively introvert brother struggling with social relations I would in my time (😂) have appreciated a lot if a sister took the initiative. Too bad the cultural code and rules are so deeply ingrained in many places that sisters are afraid to do this.

To this David said: “What have I done now? I was only asking a question!”

– 1 Samuel 17:29

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8 minutes ago, LoneWanderer said:

Plus some brothers *ahem* (😂) might be very hesitant to ask anybody to court with them because they have been turned down too many times--even when there may be mutual interest.

 

As a selectively introvert brother struggling with social relations I would in my time (😂) have appreciated a lot if a sister took the initiative. Too bad the cultural code and rules are so deeply ingrained in many places that sisters are afraid to do this.

Well no human culture is perfect, though in this world many people tend to view their own culture as so.

 

But yeah, there could be a whole list of reasons why brothers aren't so inclined to actively approach sisters they are interested in and ask them out on dates, rather than cowardice.

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7 hours ago, Hope said:

What singles are trying to make you aware of is how that bare hand may be perceived. If there is no ring, single status may be presumed.

Thank you for posting this, Hope. My husband works from home, so a few times that we we're going out the door, he would remember at the last minute that he forgot to put on his ring. I trust him, so I told him not to worry about it. But I can see it's a loving thing for others to put it on. Well, when we are off to the KH, yes he would go back and put it on, but if we are just going out somewhere, it wouldn't bother me.

 

But on the subject of rings, here in Germany married people wear their wedding rings on their right hand,  ring finger. I have never felt comfortable doing that, so my husband and I wear our's on our left hand. I have gotten unwanted worldly attention that way. Although wearing a ring on your left ring finger means you are engaged, but it still won't stop some people from trying,...


Edited by Lieblingskind

- Read the Bible daily 

The chariot is moving ❤️‍🔥

 

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