Do you have one?

[coony77]

In the past I used to have different best friends. I don't know why the person with this role changed....maybe because I changed? 

 

Well, the best friend I had about 10 years ago was disfellowshiped. My next best friend died of cancer. So I decided that in my case it's better to have many good friends rather than one best friend. 

 

Although I miss my last best friend very much, especially during hard times. 

She was the only person I could tell ANYTHING without hesitation or any fear of being misunderstood. 

[Old]

I read an article on "Best Friends" in which the point was made that one makes best friends only while relatively young. That would be true in my experience. 

 

Dave's family moved to our town and congregation when we were in the sixth grade. We did not become good friends until our junior in high school. That bond tightened through the years. Our wives were the best of friends. We had children about the same time, moved out of state to the same locality. Out side of the Truth and our families our interest were quite different, Dave and his wife were connected to Hollywood show business through her family, they were very fond of the pretty life but maintained their integrity as far as being JWs. On the other hand I liked the more adventurous life, having taken up flying, whitewater rafting, hang gliding, skin diving and similar interests. Dave and wife were into fashion shows, dressage for the daughter, Theater musical events, rubbing shoulders with TV personalities. Both of us involved out families where practical. We were and are the best of friends. We live several hundred miles apart. He was in Seattle just for Gertrude's brain surgery and actually took it worse than I did when complications came up.

We have had each others back many times down through the years, we share some of the same scars, the years around 1975 being one of them. It has led to Dave stepping down as an elder many years ago, though faithful in all else, that is one area of private feelings we do not share.

 

We are both 82 at this time, we have been good friends close to 70 years and best friends for the greater part of that time. I have had many good friends, but Dave is still my best friend. His wife, Penelope, was Gertrude's last best friend, she passed away a few years back. 

 

 

[Luigi62]

On 12/3/2020 at 4:03 PM, M.J. said:

I went through the fad of figuring out who was my best friend when I was a teenager, but several people told me that having a Best Friend is a bad idea. They strongly disliked the term because it was basically waving a "taken" sign to other potential friends. You're basically saying, no matter how well you and I get to know each other,  I've already set limits with you, I already have a best friend, and so you'll always be in a lower tier. It made a lot of sense to me.

 

The truth is that one person can rarely check off all the boxes. It's more likely and realistic you will have a variety of friends that you can choose to turn to, depending on the activity, or interest... watching a movie,  talking about a problem, exchanging cooking tips, etc. I call on different friends for different things. ♡

We can have more than 1 BFF

[M.J.]

@Luigi62

The word "best" implies one at the top...

But I guess you could say you that...

[Luigi62]

51 minutes ago, M.J. said:

@Luigi62

The word "best" implies one at the top...

But I guess you could say you that...

you can have equal best friends 

[Katty]

Are you a somewhat younger sister? I ask because, I'll be brutally honest here. My experience with younger sisters, not to be disparaging, because isn't true of all of them, but many just super picky about the behavior of their friends. They can easily cast someone aside for not behaving "properly" in their opinion. I think a lot of sisters eventually grow out of that phase, but I've found I related a lot better to older sisters than people my age, for much of my life, because I'm not girly or very proper haha.
I don't think, though, that I've ever really had a human best friend until I met my fiance.

[Nelly Kim]

[Hope]

11 minutes ago, Nelly Michael said:

This. To find someone who truly "gets" you is a rare gift. That's the basis of any I've considered best friends and any brother I ever loved.  It may not be enough to maintain forever but it's an essential piece for me.

[Luigi62]

17 hours ago, Nelly Michael said:

I haven't met that person yet.

[careful]

On 12/3/2020 at 11:21 AM, Old said:

I read an article on "Best Friends" in which the point was made that one makes best friends only while relatively young. That would be true in my experience. 

 

Dave's family moved to our town and congregation when we were in the sixth grade. We did not become good friends until our junior in high school. That bond tightened through the years. Our wives were the best of friends. We had children about the same time, moved out of state to the same locality. Out side of the Truth and our families our interest were quite different, Dave and his wife were connected to Hollywood show business through her family, they were very fond of the pretty life but maintained their integrity as far as being JWs. On the other hand I liked the more adventurous life, having taken up flying, whitewater rafting, hang gliding, skin diving and similar interests. Dave and wife were into fashion shows, dressage for the daughter, Theater musical events, rubbing shoulders with TV personalities. Both of us involved out families where practical. We were and are the best of friends. We live several hundred miles apart. He was in Seattle just for Gertrude's brain surgery and actually took it worse than I did when complications came up.

We have had each others back many times down through the years, we share some of the same scars, the years around 1975 being one of them. It has led to Dave stepping down as an elder many years ago, though faithful in all else, that is one area of private feelings we do not share.

 

We are both 82 at this time, we have been good friends close to 70 years and best friends for the greater part of that time. I have had many good friends, but Dave is still my best friend. His wife, Penelope, was Gertrude's last best friend, she passed away a few years back. 

 

 

what a wonderful example of a best friend. thankyou for sharing.  I am older too and through the years i have had many good friends.  some i dont feel quite the same about as years go by...but others i feel even closer to as the years go by.  friendship is a living thing .  it can grow or shrink.  

[Old]

I received a text message during our WT study from Dave (see post 27 above) informing us that his brother Timothy Benbrook passed away last night. Tim was also a good friend as is Bob.

The picture shows the last time we were together at our 50th. We all attended Arcata High school and were in the Eureka, then Arcata congregations. Adding up to todays notice of Tim's passing it amounts to 265 years of dedication to Jehovah.

Sad times, can't share hugs with friends and family. 

Left to right Bob Benbrook, Dave Benbrook, me and Tim Benbrook.

 

[DarinS]

I too have had a few best Friends throughout my life - 3 guys - 1 girl

1 during youth

1 during teens

1 during 20’s - he was my best man

finally my wife - i married my Best Friend

 

our lives change - we move - our personalities change

im glad to have known the guys and they were very important in my life at one time

they are still Witnesses - but haven’t spoken with the 1st in decades

the second just reconnected with me 1-2 years ago thru spiritual friends and social media

the 3rd I still talk to a few times a month eventhough we are probably 1000 miles apart and we see each other 1-2 times a year

the final one I’m still friends with ....lol

 

some have made comical responses food/beds/animals

 

the truth is a friend is there when you need them and when you don't

they will talk to you - listen to you - encourage you - share your life - be happy for you and with you

especially help you when your down or troubled......

and of course you need to be prepared to reciprocate fully - to be a True Friend 

 

you DO NOT HAVE to have a Best friend

I didn’t grow up in a friendly family

I don’t currently have any “Best Guy Friends” but have several brothers I speak with all the time and I can turn to...

and a few brothers who were Bible Students that i speak too all the time

and quite a few service partners that I hang out with physically and on zoom...and of course my son

Jehovah is always there for us and loves us and understands us.......

but it is quite a normal emotion to desire a human friend - love the example of David / Jonathan

 

ps if your desiring a friend there is some great information in YPA - young people Ask - that applies to all of us

 

 

 

[Hope]

7 hours ago, Old said:

I received a text message during our WT study from Dave (see post 27 above) informing us that his brother Timothy Benbrook passed away last night. Tim was also a good friend as is Bob.

The picture shows the last time we were together at our 50th. We all attended Arcata High school and were in the Eureka, then Arcata congregations. Adding up to todays notice of Tim's passing it amounts to 265 years of dedication to Jehovah.

Sad times, can't share hugs with friends and family. 

Left to right Bob Benbrook, Dave Benbrook, me and Tim Benbrook.

 

What a great looking crew! I know you'll all be running buddies again in the New World!  🥰

[Amygdala]

My best, I don't know maybe more "trusted"? friend is when I moved to Germany as an adult already. But we have a connection as to why I consider her a very close friend. She literally cried on the phone with me when in the past I had a huge problem, also when I was losing my mother to cancer, she skyped with me regularly while I spent months in Canada. Even though I also went through a time where I needed alone time -  even for several years, she didn't give up on me as a friend, thankfully. That made me see how much effort she was making on her end, and it made me think how much effort was I putting on my end?

 

We both married around the same time, and our husbands grew up in the same area, whereas she and I both moved from other places to be with our husbands, so we had major life event at the same time. We both adjusted to married life similarly.

 

When we had my daughter, she and her husband were serving in another foreign language congregation in f/t service and didn't have plans for children, but she never made that the reason to stop being good friends with me. In fact, being one of the few persons who visited me at the hospital after our daughter's birth. My daughter views her like an auntie now, and she lets me go on over the phone about pre-adolescent things without complaint. 

 

I have been blessed to be around both in Canada and in Germany friends who have been truly valuable in my life, and really been there when the chips were down. I guess this is why I value my good friends, and have grown to show that same kind of love and appreciation back. My "bestfriend" in Canada let me stay with her for the month before I moved to Germany, which she really showed the level of friendship she had towards me. Although I wasn't her bestfriend, as she and her married bestfriend have known each other for years before both were in the truth, and both are from Ukraine, she and I developed our own special relationship. We were both single at the time and in the same congregation. Real buddies that we could rely on each other. Even if there are flaws or things that we didn't always see the same way, but I recognized a true friend, know they are a gift from Jehovah, and try to work on my end to be a good if not best friend back.

[Amygdala]

Death is also a very sad reason to lose a best friend. The sister who taught me the truth was for years my number one best friend, confidant, encouraged me in different ways, and helped me in so many areas of growth. So when she tragically died in a car accident a few years back while on vacation with her husband in Mexico, I was shattered. The resurrection hope is so wonderful, and what a true blessing it is to find such valuable friends among our brotherhood.

Edited December 7, 2020 by Lieblingskind