Do you have one?

[Nelly Kim]

 I've never had a Best human friend (Jehovah is my best Friend) ... I hear people talk about their best friends and I wonder how that feels... My parents were need greaters so we moved a lot while I was growing up... I enjoyed that a lot, but it seems, not being settled in one place kinda robbed me of the best friend experience ( laughing) Now I find it had connecting with people ( I mean, feeling connected) .... And when I do, it's usually with the wrong people ( maybe a none Jw coworker or Someone of the opposite sex, which means I have to break it off) So basically when I hear people speak of their BF's ( best friends ) I wonder if its weird that I don't have one... Is it Weird? Do u have a best friend? How did u meet?

[Thesauron]

Here’s a good description:

https://www.jw.org/finder?wtlocale=E&docid=1014260&srcid=share

[Nelly Kim]

O by the way... This question is from a sister I met recently.. We have a similar background though... She insists I indicate its from her (Sister Gift ) ( smiling) .... Let me know your thoughts I'll convey it to her... Or better yet, I'll let her read your comments.

[Dustparticle]

My best friend name is Chocolate.

[jwhess]

I came from a large family and always had some of my fleshly  brothers and sisters around.  However, my family traveled around North America a lot when  was growing up.  If I remember correctly, I lived in about 20 places in my first 18 years of life.  

The longest I ever lived in one place (before I left home) was about 4-5 years.  So I never had a "life-long" friend, either.  I was asked by others if I ever missed that feature of life and I can't say for sure.  But what I do say is that I have hundreds of friends and thousands of good acquaintances all over the US and Canada. My folks took me to see places and things (some of which do not even exist anymore) that other children never will see.  So I always thought of my life as one big adventure.

 

I now live in the Midwest part of the country.  A few years ago, our COBE had to travel to the east for a meeting and he went to a congregation nearby.  When it was announced that he was from our town, a local brother came up and asked him if he knew John Hess.  It was one of my old pioneer partners.  When our COBE came home, he asked me, "Is there any place in this country I can go where they don't know you?"  I mentioned that I had not been to Alaska or Hawaii yet...🙂

[Alexa]

If you ever call someone a best friend, that shouldnt be as close as your relationship to Jehovah that you would even compromise your faith. Ourselves shouldnt belong to ourselves. We are dedicated servants.

[Jack1979]

Interesting that while discussing the daily text with some friends a few days ago that this very thought came to my mind. 
 

I did not grow up in the truth. Actually, it wasn’t until a few years ago that I dedicated myself to Jehovah. So, as I sit here at age 41, I can honestly say (err... type) that I never had a TRUE FRIEND let alone a BEST FRIEND... until now!!!

 

Sure, I had a lot of acquaintances, so long as I kept the party going via my personal funding... but never a friend. 
 

But looking at my life now, I know that I have about 8.7 million TRUE FRIENDS!!! Imagine that, a brotherhood where people love you... truly love you, even though they don’t know you. If that isn’t a friend, I don’t know what is. 
 

But as far as a best friend... well, that would have to be the brother that studied the Bible with me. He imparted so much more than the GOOD NEWS to me... he invested his very self into me. 
 

“So having tender affection for you, we were determined to impart to you, not only the good news of God but also our very selves, because you became so beloved to us.” 1 Thessalonians 2:8

 

The bond we developed as I learned the Scriptures is an unbreakable... unshakable bond that I will forever treasure. Not only did he set a wonderful example for me about how to teach others about Jehovah, and hold my hand as I began my journey down the path to life, but he also showed me what it means to be a TRUE FRIEND. 

 

 

[Nelly Kim]

1 hour ago, Dustparticle said:

My best friend name is Chocolate.

For real? Or do you mean Chocolate, as in Chocolate drink? ( smiling)

[Beyond the Sky]

my dog.

[woodeneye]

Sure, I've had a best friend. He's an elder in his current congregation. We became friends because we have similar interests, which happened to be the Truth, classic cars and drag racing. That's how you find a best friend. You look for someone who has similar interests. However, for them to be a true friend, you have to have a foundation in the Truth, first. Next comes communication. A true friend is someone you can tell what's on your mind and in your heart. Someone who would never betray your trust. You can find any number of sisters who would jump at the opportunity to be your best friend. 

Edited November 28, 2020 by woodeneye
I didn't know that this was a sister I was replying to.

[Miss Bea]

Best friends? I got to thinking. As I’ve aged, during that sojourn, I’ve always had, “Best friends”. Today, it’s still ones I came into the truth with. (Baptized on 1961) and our kids grew up together. 
Congregations have changed on me, but I’ve only actually changed congregations twice. That second time was hard. But, I hung in there, and, yes, I do have ones I consider my best friends. 
When I say it was hard, it was. I remember actually telling a sister that I wanted to get to know her better, that I need a good friend. She said, nope, and I moved on. 
I live a bit away from the hall. An hour and a half, round trip. I decided to have ones ride with me. Yes, I ended up with dear friends. I’m waiting to give them the biggest hug...

That sister I actually asked to be my friend...took some doing, and time. Yes, we are best best friends. 

[Friends just call me Ross]

6 hours ago, Nelly Michael said:

 I've never had a Best human friend (Jehovah is my best Friend) ... I hear people talk about their best friends and I wonder how that feels... My parents were need greaters so we moved a lot while I was growing up... I enjoyed that a lot, but it seems, not being settled in one place kinda robbed me of the best friend experience ( laughing) Now I find it had connecting with people ( I mean, feeling connected) .... And when I do, it's usually with the wrong people ( maybe a none Jw coworker or Someone of the opposite sex, which means I have to break it off) So basically when I hear people speak of their BF's ( best friends ) I wonder if its weird that I don't have one... Is it Weird? Do u have a best friend? How did u meet?

Sister Nelly, I spent the first 18 years of my life in the exact same geographical location, Iron River, Michigan USA.

 

Iron River was an iron ore mining town.

 

Miners were moving their families into, and out of, Iron River as mines hired and fired workers, or workers were transferred from one mine to another.

 

Seems just as I would make a best friend-- they would move away.  This happened repeatedly.

 

So being raised in one spot is no guarantee you will be able to make and keep a best friend. 

 

((((((HUGS))))))❤️

[Vinnie]

No, it's not weird to not have a best friend.  It's more common than you think.  But, your never too old to find and develop the kind of friendship we all need and desire. How do I know this? I struggled making close friends growing up. I'm in my early 50's and am finally finding deep good friends among Jehovah's people after doing without for so long.  The good news is that Jehovah wants us to develop such friendships.  Proverbs 18:24 talks about ...But there is a friend who sticks closer than a brother (or sister).

 

I've met my closest friends here on JWtalk and they live in the far corners of the world. 

Sometimes, making friends means being persistent and working on  breaking down trust barriers, yours and theirs.

 

A friend in need is a friend in deed.

You want a friend,  just be a friend , it is one of the easiest ways

 

Edited November 28, 2020 by Vinnie
friends don't mind edits

[califlorican]

I've had a few best friends over the years. Unfortunately we've still grown apart, which is something I'm glad can't be said about having Jehovah as your best friend. Now, my best (human) friend is my husband. I have other close friends who I love dearly, but none compare to him. I also wonder if "best friends" isn't as common a thing as we get older- my parents have always had a lot of friends in their congregation and are very social, but I don't think they would consider anyone their best friend other than each other!

[well]

I have few close friends, but I am not sure if we are best friend to each other... One is fun but not compassionate, another is helping but she's not as open as I am to her, and so and so... I am thinking if all of their good traits combine into one person, then there is my best friend...  

 

As I am older, I get more realistic perspective of human and world which are imperfect but I still believe there is such thing called best friend, though it's not easy to have one... No problem, I still have a lot of TRUE friends....

 

 

[Hope]

I can think of three sisters I could consider "best" friends- ones I really click with, same humor, loves of music/ culture- we "get" each other with no drama. They've been my friends in ranges of 40 years, 25 years and 20 years. Unfortunately, none live closer than a thousand miles away. I've been unable to secure a running buddy here in Oregon- and I've lived here over 16 years.

 

I do develop great friendships with brothers and I love that dynamic.. but they remain just friendships. I even had one tell me that I was too much like one of his guy friends to think of me romantically. Too easy going, not "mysterious", not dramatic. Plus I knew more about cars and music than he did 🤷🏽‍♀️😔

 

I'd love a local "pour my heart out" sort of friend but no dice.  I have closer friends online than in person. A best friend is a rare gift.  Finding one is as rare as finding someone you can marry.. it's a bit of a lightning strike, meeting of the minds, mutual admiration situation.  At least, that's how it's been for me.

 

But- I have the friends in the congregation and as long as I don't want too much, they're amazing. We're just not "besties". 😊

[Amygdala]

On 11/28/2020 at 9:03 PM, Vinnie said:

Sometimes, making friends means being persistent and working on  breaking down trust barriers, yours and theirs.

 

A friend in need is a friend in deed.

You want a friend,  just be a friend , it is one of the easiest ways

I completely agree with this. My best friends in Canada and in Germany are the ones where we have broken down those barriers, and accepted one another, flaws and all, on both sides. Being able to find that listening ear, and where they know the real you, without making any false judgements is really a gift. Also sharing experiences, laughing over things, crying over things, encouraging each other spiritually, and avoiding stupid choices - I cherish these kinds of friends.

[Amygdala]

I just want to add that as life changes, so do your friends, so it's normal that friends will change, and the level of it as well. But a person is never too old to keep finding good friends, and age doesn't have to play a role.

[Amygdala]

I was thrilled to find out my best friend here and I were assigned to pioneer school together this year. She knew that we would be in the same class, but I didn't know when I signed up in the service year. So what a joy when I found out! Although I have now decided to postpone attending until the pioneer school is live, she completely understands (this will be her 3rd within the last decade, and this will be my second after 20+ years), and just knowing that we have that understanding and love for one another and still happily and unselfishly support each other, is to me a great definition of a friend.

Edited December 1, 2020 by Lieblingskind

[thegreenjudy]

I think sometimes thanks to movies and Hollywood we tend to have a very romanticised view of friendships and what they are supposed to be like (and that everyone must have one). I had, what many would describe as a best friend, in my teenage years and early twenties but looking back it prevented me from widening out and when I was really unwell I noticed that they weren't there for me. Our friendship was more based on common interest than real closeness. I also moved a lot since and also had a similar dilemma of not being able to maintain friends for long. What I learned over the years is that real friends don't need to be in each others pockets all the time. My closest friends I don't see all that often but when we do we can just pick things up where we left off. I have a few very close friends but I think the closest human would be my husband and then I have a very close friend back in Germany and we go back almost 20 years. It doesn't help that I struggle to talk about my feelings, a legacy from childhood. I am usually the one helping others not the other way round which can add to the feeling that we lack a best friend. I always preferred friendships with older sisters - we need to look beyond our own age range sometimes. In fact I often struggled finding friends among younger people maybe because I am an old soul 😄 

 

But yes, I found that it helped me to open up more about my own feelings. The key about friendships isn't always commonality but closeness which we can only establish if we are ready to share our own thoughts and feelings with another person and they, in turn, also start to open up and become closer.

Edited December 2, 2020 by thegreenjudy

[Luigi62]

On 11/29/2020 at 12:06 AM, Dustparticle said:

My best friend name is Chocolate.

My bff is my BED.

[Hope]

5 hours ago, Luigi62 said:

My bff is my BED.

Same here, really. Along with my other besties, Couch and TV 🥰

[Doug]

Watchtower study #44 :  Build Strong Friendships Before the End Comes.

 

"When the great tribulation strikes, we will appreciate having good friends who love us. So it is urgent that we build strong bonds of friendship now.

 

That sounds like a chore.  Like stocking up on food and meds.

 

"If we want our brothers to stand by us when trials come, we must learn to trust them now with our thoughts and feelings"

 

That sounds like self-interest.

 

"Our enemies will try to divide us by means of lies and misinformation. They will try to turn us against one another. But their efforts will be wasted. They will be unable to break our bonds of love."

 

Our bonds of love are not evidenced by, nor dependent upon , best friendships.  Proverbs 17:17 "A true friend shows love at all times".  Of course, we can show love without being a true friend. We can show love even if we just met.

 

 

[Hope]

And we can be/have true friends without being best friends.  I think it's that beautiful "next level" is what many are missing. 

 

I know I am.

[M.J.]

I went through the fad of figuring out who was my best friend when I was a teenager, but several people told me that having a Best Friend is a bad idea. They strongly disliked the term because it was basically waving a "taken" sign to other potential friends. You're basically saying, no matter how well you and I get to know each other,  I've already set limits with you, I already have a best friend, and so you'll always be in a lower tier. It made a lot of sense to me.

 

The truth is that one person can rarely check off all the boxes. It's more likely and realistic you will have a variety of friends that you can choose to turn to, depending on the activity, or interest... watching a movie,  talking about a problem, exchanging cooking tips, etc. I call on different friends for different things. ♡