A good joke

[Mike047]

Not sure that the 'joke' is worthy, Lynn. Best to be careful of sexist and, worldly puns.

[dljbsp]

An old man goes to his doctor, complaining about a pain in his leg that doesn't heal and wants a diagnosis and explanation. The doctor checks out his leg, but can't find anything wrong. So he gives the old guy a full physical exam, and still can't come up with any possible explanation for the pain.

The doctor hands the patient his bill and says, "I'm sorry but the pain in your leg is simply caused by old age, there's nothing I can do about it."

The old man replies with a look of disbelief, "That's impossible! That can't be!"

The Doctor says, "What do you mean? I'm the expert here; if you know so much, how can you say it's NOT old age?"

The patient answers, "I'm no doctor but it doesn't take a medical degree to tell that your diagnosis is wrong. Clearly you're mistaken. After all my other leg feels just fine."

"So what?" says the doctor "What difference does that make?"

"Well it doesn't hurt a bit, and it's the SAME AGE!"

[Pabo]

Talking with my dairy farmer brother-in-law the other day, and he couldn't believe that John Deere's manure spreader is the only equipment the company won't stand behind.

[Keep Fighting]

[Kwabena]

Let me just show myself the door.

[CHecker]

Why don't scientists trust atoms? They make up everything. 

[Aria]

It really happened:

 

To mock a schoolboy who was a Jehovah's Witness that God doesn't exist, one day the teacher began by asking a few practical questions:
Teacher: can you see those houses over there?
Schoolchildren: yeeeees
Teacher: So, they exist because you can see them!
Can you see the cows in the meadow?
Students: yeeeees
Teacher: So they exist because you can see them!
And so on.
At one point, the Jehovah's Witness schoolboy asks his classmate just one question:
Can you see the teacher's brain?
Schoolchildren: Nooo
The little brother replies: That's because he has no brain !

[Mike047]

Well done Aria, must pass that on to my grandchildren.

[Tortuga]

If I was making flatbread, would I be naan productive?

[Percy]

11 hours ago, Mike047 said:

Well done Aria, must pass that on to my grandchildren.

I would be careful with that one. The joke would be better if the last response by the little brother wasn't there.

"Silence" should be the response.

[Mike047]

Yes that's true, Percy, I would take that as a given. I'm sure the children would easily get the point!

[Aria]

He most likely received a bad mark for his conduct.

This was several years ago and now we have advice on how to avoid this type of behavior.

Apparently the teacher had set his sights on him and wouldn't stop harassing him, hence his reaction.

I agree that it's better to keep quite and not retaliate.

[Sheep]

On 1/19/2025 at 10:56 PM, Aria said:

It really happened:

 

To mock a schoolboy who was a Jehovah's Witness that God doesn't exist, one day the teacher began by asking a few practical questions:
Teacher: can you see those houses over there?
Schoolchildren: yeeeees
Teacher: So, they exist because you can see them!
Can you see the cows in the meadow?
Students: yeeeees
Teacher: So they exist because you can see them!
And so on.
At one point, the Jehovah's Witness schoolboy asks his classmate just one question:
Can you see the teacher's brain?
Schoolchildren: Nooo
The little brother replies: That's because he has no brain !

 

On 1/20/2025 at 4:03 PM, Percy said:

I would be careful with that one. The joke would be better if the last response by the little brother wasn't there.

"Silence" should be the response.

I agree this reasoning has to be used with tact. However, I use it when someone says, "I don't believe in anything I can't see?"

 

I respond with: "I can't see your brain. But I do believe you have one. In fact, I am absolutely certain that you do. Why do you think I am so sure that you have a brain even though I can't see it?"

 

If used properly, that could actually sound like a compliment!

Edited January 21 by Sheep

[Qapla]

You can't see the wind but look the damage that hurricanes and tornados do ...

 

[Tortuga]

Dusty, don't look! 

 

[Pabo]

10 hours ago, Tortuga said:

Dusty, don't look! 

 

 

Worse still, how would he cope if "Mars" disappeared with an "Earth" shattering Kaboom!

 

 

Edited January 24 by Pabo

[rocket]

A wise man once said if you understand why pizza is made round, packed into a square box and eaten as a triangle, then my friend you'll understand women.

[Tortuga]

6 minutes ago, rocket said:

A wise man once said if you understand why pizza is made round, packed into a square box and eaten as a triangle, then my friend you'll understand women.

That's why I studied geometry in school. I knew it would come in handy!

[Dages]

5 hours ago, Tortuga said:

That's why I studied geometry in school. I knew it would come in handy!

only practical maths application

[Pabo]

On 1/29/2025 at 5:30 AM, Tortuga said:

That's why I studied geometry in school. I knew it would come in handy!

 

What bothers me is that a square has all its internal angles equal 360°, a triangle has all its angles internal equal 180°, but a circle has -180° if you use thr formula of "(n - 2) x 180°" where "n" is the number of sides of the shape.

 

But you cook a pizza at 220°C or 428°F? And if you grab the pizza base with your bare hands from the oven, you get 3rd degree burns.

 

Maybe that is why women are so baffling to us men?

 

 

 

Edited January 30 by Pabo

[Tortuga]

4 hours ago, Pabo said:

 

What bothers me is that a square has all its internal angles equal 360°, a triangle has all its angles internal equal 180°, but a circle has -180° if you use thr formula of "(n - 2) x 180°" where "n" is the number of sides of the shape.

 

But you cook a pizza at 220°C or 428°F? And if you grab the pizza base with your bare hands from the oven, you get 3rd degree burns.

 

Maybe that is why women are so baffling to us men?

No matter how obtuse women can be, they are still acute. 

[Percy]

7 hours ago, Pabo said:

Maybe that is why women are so baffling to us men?

We know the first thing Adam said to Eve, but what was the first thing Eve said to Adam?

[Tortuga]

1 hour ago, Percy said:

We know the first thing Adam said to Eve, but what was the first thing Eve said to Adam?

"Would you like me to pick some fruit for dinner?"

[Aria]

This one?

Online Video Library | JW.ORG Videos English

[rocket]

I looked in the mirror other day and I said to my wife, all I see is fat, ugly, old man and I need you to give me a compliment. She says, alright then, your eyesight is darn near perfect.