A good joke

[bohemian]

My wife said the cat should be chipped.  I only had a 9-iron but I still got it over the shed.

[bohemian]

what do you call an Irishman who has been dead for 200 years?
 

 

Pete

[Pjdriver]

We just got a new dog. We named him “Egypt”,  because he leaves little pyramids wherever he goes. 💩  

Edited December 29, 2020 by Pjdriver

[Doug]

11 hours ago, bohemian said:

what do you call an Irishman who has been dead for 200 years?

No Irishman ever hit his head on the ceiling.

[bohemian]

[Lee49]

[Old]

[Old]

During Covid-19, one cannot let their guard down.

 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8KW6ctTZfw4

 

Y'all be careful out there!

[Tortuga]

1 hour ago, Old said:

During Covid-19, one cannot let their guard down.

 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8KW6ctTZfw4

 

Y'all be careful out there!

I think it's a good idea to self test several times a day...🤣👍

[rocket]

A priest, a rabbit and a minister walked into a bar. The bartender asked the rabbit "what do you want?" The rabbit said "I have no idea, I am only here because of auto-correct"

[bohemian]

I gave my French girlfriend a pendant with “le monde” carved on it.

It means the world to her.

[rocket]

What do you call a deer without eyes?

 

no-eye-deer

[Old]

1 hour ago, rocket said:

What do you call a deer without eyes?

 

no-eye-deer

GONG!

[dilip kumar]

Winston Churchill took a taxi one day and went to BBC office for an interview. On reaching there, he asked the taxi driver to wait for 40 min till he got back! But the driver apologized and said “I can't, I have to go home to listen to Winston Churchill's interview”
Churchill smiled and gave him £ 10 instead of £ 1 without disclosing his identity.
Driver pocketed the money & said
*Sir, I will wait for an hour, let Churchill go to hell*

Sent from my SM-A315F using Tapatalk

[New World Explorer]

What do you call a blind Dinosaur? 

 

Doyouthinkhesawus 🦖

[bohemian]

Proof, if it were needed, that TV advertising does work.  

I bought some coconut shampoo this weekend, but when I got home I realized I don’t have a coconut.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Today is the start of Diarrhoea Awareness Week.

 

Runs until Friday.

Edited January 11, 2021 by bohemian

[Doug]

On 1/11/2021 at 5:26 AM, bohemian said:

 

Today is the start of Diarrhoea Awareness Week.

 

Runs until Friday.

eeew. .  .  .   Since you opened that door , otherwise I would never have . ..

 

You can pick your friends

You can pick your nose

 

But you cannot pick your friends nose.

 

[bohemian]

Social distancing has been particularly stressful for members of the Flat Earth Society.

They fear such measures will push someone over the edge.

 

 

 

 

People call me self centered.

But that’s enough about them.

Edited January 16, 2021 by bohemian

[Old]

My wife was complaing about my cooking so I got a wall plaque:

      "Let he that has never burned the toast cast the first scone."  John 8:7

                  We eat out more  lately.

[bohemian]

I told my therapist I can’t get the Grease soundtrack out of my head.

He said, “Tell me more”.

[Golfguy74]

Some people say I have a chip on my shoulder.

[Katty]

So this man went to the dollar store and found a mirror, and said "Oh boy! I don't know how they did it, but they're selling a picture of my daddy!!! I don't have a picture of my daddy, so I better buy it!"
So he hung it up in his shed and went to look at it every day, so his wife wondered, "What's my husband up to every day? He better not be cheating on me!"
So, she saw he was spending a lot of time in the shed so she went in to see the "picture" and thought. "I don't know who this minx is, but she sure is UGLY!"

[Golfguy74]

On 12/26/2020 at 12:41 PM, bohemian said:

My wife said the cat should be chipped.  I only had a 9-iron but I still got it over the shed.

Did you use an open stance and open up the face a bit?

[bohemian]

Paddy was getting hot and bothered because he was late for a meeting and couldnt find a parking place.

Looking up wards he said "Lord if you find me a parking place Ill go to Mass every sunday for the rest of my life and Ill even give up the Irish Whisky"

Miraculously a parking place suddenly appeared. Paddy looked upwards again and said "Dont bother Ive found one"

[bohemian]

I was on a diabetes awareness website and it asked me if I accept cookies…

Was it a trick question?