A good joke

[kejedo]

Sent from my C6802 using Tapatalk

I know, I worked for that company.

[Tortuga]

An 80 year old lady was being interviewed by the local news station because she had just gotten married - for the fourth time. 

 

 The interviewer asked her questions about her life, about what it felt like to be marrying again at 80, and then about her new husband's occupation. 

 

 "He's a funeral director," she answered. 

 

 "Interesting," the newsman thought. He then asked her if she wouldn't mind telling him a little about her first three husbands and what they did for a living. 

 

 She paused for a few moments, needing time to reflect on all those years. After a short time, a smile came to her face and she answered proudly, explaining that she'd first married a banker when she was in her early 20's, then a circus ringmaster when in her 40's, later on a preacher when in her 60's, and now in her 80's, a funeral director. 

 

 The interviewer looked at her, quite astonished, and asked her why she had married four men with such diverse careers. 

 

 She smiled and explained

 

"It's simple, it was one for the money, two for the show, three to get ready and four to go!"

[kejedo]

http://www.foxnews.com/health/2015/07/03/what-happens-when-drink-alcohol-after-work-out/?intcmp=trending

And yet another reason to cut down on work-outs.

[dilip kumar]

♦What is MARKETING❓

This is how a Professor explained Marketing Concepts to a class :

1. You see a Gorgeous Girl at a party. You go up to her and say: "I am very rich. Marry me!"

♦ That's Direct Marketing.

[kejedo]

♦What is MARKETING❓

This is how a Professor explained Marketing Concepts to a class :

1. You see a Gorgeous Girl at a party. You go up to her and say: "I am very rich. Marry me!"

♦ That's Direct Marketing.

2. You are at a party with a bunch of friends and see a Gorgeous Girl. One of your friends goes upto her and pointing at you says: "He's very rich. Marry him!"

♦That's Advertising.

3. You are at a party and see a Gorgeous Girl.

She walks up to you and says: "You are very rich! Can I marry you?"

♦That's Brand Recognition.

4. You see a Gorgeous Girl at a party. You go upto her and say: "I am very rich. Marry me!"

She gives you a nice hard slap on your face.

♦That's Customer Feedback.

5. You see a Gorgeous Girl at a party. You go upto her and say: "I am very rich. Marry me!"

And she introduces you to her husband.

♦That's Demand and Supply Gap.

6. You see a Gorgeous Girl at a party. You go upto her and before you say: "I m rich, Marry me!", your wife arrives.

♦That's Restriction for Entering New Markets.

Hope The Concepts are clear...

✅

Sent from my C6802 using Tapatalk

Yep, a Marketing prof quite likely used this format. 

[kejedo]

Sent from my C6802 using Tapatalk

And for those who believed computers would cut down on paper, I hope not.

[Tortuga]

And for those who believed computers would cut down on paper, I hope not.

Didn't you see the fax machine in there?

[dilip kumar]

When you are in problem your friends and relatives will stand behind / beside you

If you have any doubt please see your marriage album

[Ms. Piffle]

PEMDAS is a North American math acronym for the order of operations: Most students have been taught to remember it thus: Please Excuse My Dear Aunt Sally. My Students learned: Please Execute My Disgusting Algebra Sub.

We challenged our students to create their own acronym. They came up with : Please Eat More Doughnuts At School.

[kejedo]

We challenged our students to create their own acronym. They came up with : Please Eat More Doughnuts At School.

Please Eat More Doughnuts At School certainly makes math more appealing, even tasteful.   In some places, the acronym is Bodmas.

[kejedo]

Sister Vickie, you just brought back a fond memory. Back when I was in pioneer school, (when it was two weeks and before I eliminated sugar) the friends used to bring us a snack for morning break. It was so touching. One morning, for some reason, I got a hankering for a doughnut. A sister brought doughnuts that very day. She told me she didn't feel like baking, and I just said "thanks" for that. That was my fond memory. Here's a funny one from that same class (in Bangor Maine).  One of the COs had a beautiful slender wife, who encouraged him to slow down on the sugar. Well, he had indulged in a couple of sweets and a brother said, "Here comes your wife. I'm telling about the sugary treats you've been sampling. The CO replied, "Oh. I'll just ask her: Who are you going to believe? Me, or this bunch of liars?"  

[Ms. Piffle]

Thanks for sharing. What a sweet memory.

[dilip kumar]

Sent from my C6802 using Tapatalk

[Qapla]

Dillip

 

)'> <'>

[dilip kumar]

[dilip kumar]

Beat dis

[dilip kumar]

[09/07 11:14 am] ‪+91 98450 75843‬: Joke of the Day: Sales By Phone (lol)

The phone rang and the lady picked it up ...

It was a salesman from a Mortgage refinance company.

"Do you have a second mortgage on your home?"

"No," she replied.

"Would you like to consolidate all your debts?"

"I really do not have any," she said.

"How about freeing up cash for home improvements?" he tried.

"I do not need any. I just recently had some done and paid cash," she parried.

There was a brief silence, and then he asked, "Are you looking for a Husband?"

[09/07 11:14 am] ‪+91 98450 75843‬: A Lady was conducting her anti drinking campaign outside a bar.

A man came out of the Bar exuding alcohol fumes and

the Lady

said,"Reflect! If you arrive at the Gates of Heaven with

your

breath smelling of liquor,

do you think the Lord will let you in?"

"My good woman", says the man, "when I go to Heaven

I expect

to leave my breath behind".

Sent from my C6802 using Tapatalk

[Tortuga]

A driver gets pulled over for running a red light. The police ask for his driver's license and he has none. The female sitting in the passenger seat says, "You idiot, I told you we would't get far in a stolen car." "This car is not stolen," the man says. The lady answers, "Don't listen to him,he always lies when he's drunk." The officer is trying to figure out where to start with these violations when he hears a voice from the trunk, "Why are we stopped so long. Are we over the border already?"

 

Well it's obvious she carjacked the two guys. The officer should arrest her, let the guy in the trunk sit up front and let the two guys go.

 

That's just my opinion...

[dilip kumar]

This is ultimate

[dilip kumar]

Solve This:A man locked his personal computer with a password and wrote some phrases in the hint box.One day his wife tries to login in his absence using the hints which contained the following:4 grapes

[Tortuga]

Solve This:A man locked his personal computer with a password and wrote some phrases in the hint box.One day his wife tries to login in his absence using the hints which contained the following:4 grapes 1 apple 7 bananas 7 mangoes 2 pineapples 1 orange 8 pomegranates What is the password? IAS question............ its trickyyy

Sent from my C6802 using Tapatalk

PASSION

[kejedo]

NOT our brothers or sisters.

Single women have ex-ray eyes and can tell if another women has extensions or has had something 'done'.

Single men don't care. It's all about presentation.

15 years after the wedding: the husband has lost all of his hair, most of his teeth and has gained 35 lbs. The wife thinks to herself, "well, I didn't marry him for his hair or teeth."

the wife has given birth to three children, but gets back to her original size, except maybe 5 pounds. Her hair thinned a little,so she cut it shorter. The husband thinks, "Boy, she really let herself go.

Edited July 14, 2015 by kejedo

[gayathri]

Absolutely true sis

[Friends just call me Ross]

Why doctors should never go on strike or ever bother to protest anything:

 

   

[dilip kumar]

Need more ross

Sent from my C6802 using Tapatalk