Two weird questions about tipping

[Ostria]

I feel like i would get civilized answers here vs other sites... So here are my questions. Alao for the sake of argument, lets say for these scenarios youre pro tipping.

 

1) Would you consider it mentally /psychologically manipulative to tip someone up front ao they gice you excellent service? So two separate times at the same resturant, i had two waiters both of them werent really that great, they were average. I asked them if i can tip them via cashapp and they said yes, i tipped them and they did a complete 180. They went from the bare minimum to giving me the best srrvice ive had in a while. I would not mind doing this more often (aware that i could still get crap service if i do this), but part of me feels like im playing mind games with them, like im controlling what they would do, or even if they arent having a good day or maybe in pain now they feel they HAVE to push themselves to the limit to deserve what they got.

 

 

2) do yall like tip riders (i dont know how to word that better🫣), i'll be in a group and i'll tip, but no one else will, but my tip is just for me (we all split the bill), and they feel that because i tipped they dont have to (though ive never seen them tip anyway)

 

No you know what, bonus question, because this is related to #2

 

Do Jehovah's Witnesses tip? Im still new to this, the people i go out with are people in my congregation. Originally i thought it was because the ladies i sometimes go with are Filipino and figured it was a culture thing, but when i go out with my american members as well, they dont tip either. So is it a JW thing or are they just cheap?

 

 

[Tortuga]

1 hour ago, Ostria said:

Do Jehovah's Witnesses tip? Im still new to this, the people i go out with are people in my congregation. Originally i thought it was because the ladies i sometimes go with are Filipino and figured it was a culture thing, but when i go out with my american members as well, they dont tip either. So is it a JW thing or are they just cheap?

I tip. I usually do 20% at a restaurant, I might do more if they were especially attentive. I think the whole tipping culture is weird, it seems that everyone expects a tip, so it has lost its meaning.

[Lance]

Yes ...JW's are encouraged to follow what ever the local custom is when it comes to things like this... many parts of the world tipping is not a common exercise. In other parts it is the custom. For example when we have conventions we are encouraged to follow the local custom... for hotel maid service and restaurant service.As Paul admonished if it is not against biblical principle follow the local custom .

[carlos]

 

 

As for your first question, I don't think it's wrong to tip waiters to motivate them to give a better service if that's the accepted custom. But if you feel bad after doing that, it's better to avoid it. Of course, to imply you are going to leave a good tip when you have no intention to would be a dirty trick.

 

There is nothing wrong in tipping, if that is common where you live. As Lance said, we try to follow the local customs. In the US many tourists are considered miserable because they don't tip or leave very little, but in many cases it's just that in their countries of origin tips are not that common, so they don't know. It's a cultural thing. Where I live, service is included in the price. If service was good you may leave the change, a few coins. One euro or two at most. And usually only cash is accepted for tips, so if you only have your card there is no way to leave one. When I travel to the US I follow the custom but I find it annoying that everyone is expecting a tip for everything. The whole American tip system is crazy.

 

[Dages]

11 minutes ago, carlos said:

Where I live, service is included in the price. If service was good you may leave the change, a few coins. One euro or two at most. And usually only cash is accepted for tips, so if you only have your card there is no way to leave one.

Same in France.

 

In Japan, there is no Tipping culture.

But I remember going to a pub and the waiter was extremely kind and funny so, as tipping is not possible, I offered him a beer  

[carlos]

The last time I went to the States we went one evening to a buffet. I know how tips work in regular restaurants, but was unsure about the buffet, since basically you served yourself and the waiter was around just in case you needed something extra.

 

I approached a couple at another table and said: "Can I ask a question? I am (obviously) a foreigner. Do you tip the waiter in a place like this?" They were happy to explain in a buffet it's customary to tip the waiter directly when you leave.

[Tortuga]

4 hours ago, carlos said:

The last time I went to the States we went one evening to a buffet. I know how tips work in regular restaurants, but was unsure about the buffet, since basically you served yourself and the waiter was around just in case you needed something extra.

 

I approached a couple at another table and said: "Can I ask a question? I am (obviously) a foreigner. Do you tip the waiter in a place like this?" They were happy to explain in a buffet it's customary to tip the waiter directly when you leave.

The last time I was at a buffet I tipped 10%. I think that is average for buffets.

[rocket]

I normally tip at least 20% in restaurants but never tip before getting my food.  I never reduce a tip for bad service because so many things are out of the waiters controI.  I also tip fast food take out or restaurant take out.  My habit almost got my granddaughter in trouble as she works at McDonalds and her McDonalds in Montana don't allow tipping. I insisted on doing so being the jerk I am and she went to the manager for relief. 

[Mike047]

Typically it is 10% across the board, where tipping is expected. Apart from that, some will give a tip depending on the quality of the service. If someone carries out an excellent job, and there charge is a little low, we often give extra to show our appreciation.

 

If Lynn gives such a big tip for all services, there must be excess money under the floorboards.

 

[carlos]

2 hours ago, Mike047 said:

If Lynn gives such a big tip for all services, there must be excess money under the floorboards.

 

Tips in the US are crazy compared to Europe, Mike. Apparently restaurant owners don't pay their waiters and expect them to live only on tips. So the minimum expected tip, unless service was really awful, is 15 percent. They usually expect you to leave 20 or even 30 percent of the bill. You can also leave your tip with your card, which is something I have rarely seen this side of the Pond.

 

The UK is more reasonable, with 10 percent being the average, and that only when you eat in the restaurant, not when you take the food home. I think the idea in Europe is that waiters are paid a salary and tips are just a little extra.

[Pjdriver]

I eat out a lot and I always tip well,  because I know they depend on it and they work hard (few exceptions). However, since the pandemic and inflation it seems everyone expects  a tip. Tip at places that never used to ask for a tip. Also some are getting a little aggressive. 

 

I was paying for my bill around $45.00.  I gave her 3 -$20s, I didn’t have change and I wanted to give her a $10. tip (33%) ....and she ask me if "I wanted change back".  I said; “you must be mistaking me for Bill Gates.”  She frowned, then I gave her a $10. and she smiled again.

Funny how getting money makes people smile. 

 

18 hours ago, Ostria said:

Would you consider it mentally /psychologically manipulative to tip someone up front ao they gice you excellent service?

Maybe emotionally you’re mixing up tipping with bribing. In some places that is a fine line our brothers have had to walk.  

With tipping you’re in effect paying for a legal and proper service,  so no need to feel bad about it.  

 

What if you walk into a crowded (nice/ fancy) restaurant and you were hoping to get a window seat a lake and Mountain View.....would it be proper to slip the Host a $20.00 for a good seat? That feels a little different than tipping ahead for the service. 

[Pjdriver]

19 hours ago, Ostria said:

do yall like tip riders (i dont know how to word that better🫣), i'll be in a group and i'll tip, but no one else will, but my tip is just for me (we all split the bill), and they feel that because i tipped they dont have to (though ive never seen them tip anyway)

 

If it is customary to tip where you are,   as it is here,  and the service is good,  and the friends don’t leave a tip......Just me,  but I would not eat out with persons like that again. I ate out a couple times with a sister who was always unreasonable and even rude to the servers. She’d always complain until she got something free.    I would never go out to eat with her again.  

 

Funny, but my niece used to work on a harbor cruise fancy boat that rich people and companies would hire out and have big parties out in the harbor at night. She said most of the wealthy people she served over the years were the worst tippers.  She works at a regular club now and says the tips are much better on average. 

 

PS. Here’s a tip: “If you ever catch on fire....DON’T look in the mirror!”  

Edited July 7 by Pjdriver

[Ostria]

4 hours ago, Pjdriver said:

However, since the pandemic and inflation it seems everyone expects  a tip. Tip at places that never used to ask for a tip. Also some are getting a little aggressive. 

 

Seriously, fast food places are starting to ask for tip with electronic payments. "im going to flip the tablet over and its gonna ask you a little question." Not gonna lie, i started carrying cash just so they cant do that anymore. You're already getting paid a wage (not lower wage like servers, but what fast food would pay). I dont get tipped in a factory 😩

[Ostria]

4 hours ago, Pjdriver said:

 

  

 

Funny, but my niece used to work on a harbor cruise fancy boat that rich people and companies would hire out and have big parties out in the harbor at night. She said most of the wealthy people she served over the years were the worst tippers.  She works at a regular club now and says the tips are much better on average. 

 

Ive worked Doordash and BiteSquad, and yeah i have noticed the people in the trailers and 'lower' areas tipped better than the more fancy places.

 

I hates bitesquad so much (pretty much the first food delivery service). They had it so you can take your tips away. Lets say you see how much you made so far. You have $50. You finish your next order and you check to see how much you got and you see you now have $45. Someone done took a tip away and you'll never know who.

[carlos]

4 hours ago, Pjdriver said:

Funny, but my niece used to work on a harbor cruise fancy boat that rich people and companies would hire out and have big parties out in the harbor at night.

 

It's probably not the same situation but when you book a cruise (not for a one-night party but for several days) you are charged a good amount in advance for tips, whether service is good or mediocre. Their reasoning is that way tips are divided among all the members of the crew, including cooks, maintenance guys, and others who would not usually receive any tip. But then waiters expect you to tip them again!

 

My opinion is that owners should pay all their workers a decent salary and give prices with service included. That would be fairer for both workers and customers.

[Lee49]

I always tip at least 20% when eating in, I order pizza at least every Friday, carry out ( I pick it up ) and tip 15%, most of the time I order online and because I am also paying online  I am tipping before I pick up the pizza hoping they throw a little more cheese on it since I threw them a little cheese !     🤑 =🧀🧀

[Ostria]

Just now, Lee49 said:

I always tip at least 20% when eating in, I order pizza at least every Friday, carry out ( I pick it up ) and tip 15%, most of the time I order online and because I am also paying online  I am tipping before I pick up the pizza hoping they throw a little more cheese on it since I threw them a little cheese !     🤑 =🧀🧀

I usualky dont tip food pick ups unless i frequent there often. They sometimes wilk eitber discount my food or give me better selections. The pretzel place at my mall will sometimes bake me fresh pretzels lol

[MullumMiss]

Tipping is not a custom here downunder unless you feel you have received good service, usually in a restaurant.  We do not always tip when eating out.  When travelling overseas, if the custom is to tip then we tip.  I know in USA wages for food service are pretty low and they depend on tips.  However here wages in the food service industry are good so they do not depend on tips.  They get extra money working out of ordinary hours and on public holidays they get around triple time pay.  Here too on weekends and public holidays most restaurants add a service fee to cover the extra wages they have to pay.  It’s usually around 10-15%.  

[Kunlesky]

19 hours ago, carlos said:

 

Tips in the US are crazy compared to Europe, Mike. Apparently restaurant owners don't pay their waiters and expect them to live only on tips. So the minimum expected tip, unless service was really awful, is 15 percent. They usually expect you to leave 20 or even 30 percent of the bill. You can also leave your tip with your card, which is something I have rarely seen this side of the Pond.

 

The UK is more reasonable, with 10 percent being the average, and that only when you eat in the restaurant, not when you take the food home. I think the idea in Europe is that waiters are paid a salary and tips are just a little extra.

 

Right on the money, Carlos! Some companies' and restaurants' pay systems are based on their workers' ability to manipulate you with the service they offer into giving good tips. If the worker is getting low tips, the belief is that they are probably poor at their job. I think this is especially true in the environment where alcohol is served. It, kind of, makes sense as it should not take much to make someone happy with their service, catalyzed by the spirit of alcohol!

 

While growing up in Africa, tipping is very rare except if you are just trying to be nice. I guess it's the "not too affluent" environment. It took me a while to acquire the tip culture of North America. Now that I am up to my neck in the system, traveling back home and tipping is stranger than fiction. A non-witness business associate (who used to live in North America with me before moving back to Africa) once literally yanked the tip I placed off the table, saying: "The original charge is pre-loaded with tips"! The reality though is that the preloaded tip goes to the owner of the place, not the actual person who provides the service!

[Lee49]

 Ahh! So we've been " nudged " into tipping!  -

 "The famous word for that is 'nudging,'" he says. "If you have a system that kind of leads you to do something, it feels like a choice, but it isn't."

Tips in the U.S. have been nudged up to nearly 20% on average, according to restaurant payment system Toast, and it's significantly higher in big cities like New York, San Francisco and Chicago.

Tipflation, reasons - https://www.npr.org/2023/07/05/1185160295/tipping-coffee-consumer-spending-inflation-tips

[Pabo]

I cannot remember the last time I went out for a meal, let alone get take-away meal.

 

But if any did ask for a tip, I usually give something like this.

 

 

For those who are wondering who Doug Hawkins is, he played AFL (other known as "Aussie Rules" or "Aerial Ping-Pong"). Apparently last year, as he was taking cover in a small tin-hut where he had working from an approaching storm, lightning had struck the tin-hut that he was in. He survived, but reckoned it was nearly as bad than playing against anothe well known footballer named "Dipper".

 

https://www.foxsports.com.au/afl/western-bulldogs-legend-doug-hawkins-struck-by-lightning/news-story/d4c08dfc730d2d97854b60634522e976

Edited July 12 by Pabo

[MullumMiss]

22 minutes ago, Pabo said:

 

 

And there was this one….

 

[Pabo]

22 hours ago, MullumMiss said:

And there was this one….

 

 

I was trying to find the original one where Dougie delivers it pizza to his home where he asks his father for a tip where his father said the same thing as Dougie always wanted to say in video.

 

The only one I can find is this one with his father, where he scams his father for that tip.

 

 

[MullumMiss]

1 hour ago, Pabo said:

 

I was trying to find the original one where Dougie delivers it pizza to his home where he asks his father for a tip where his father said the same thing as Dougie always wanted to say in video.

 

Me too…not sure where it went.

[kejedo]

This shouldn't still bother me, but it feels unfinished. After pioneer school, we went out for a meal and someone (brother) asked for all-on-one check. I figured my damage and put down a large tip. Some people ordered a la cart and someone else Sister told them to take back money from the table. Some did refund themselves, including part of my tip. Another pioneer took the bill up and later told me there was less than ten %. I wanted to find out the server and get that person more funds, but was unable to. Have never put myself in that position again, even though I am under headship.