Question Required Answer

[Jamesjw]

Is it possible for an African to get a soul mate from another country online?

[carlos]

James, welcome to JWTalk.

 

The Slave has published some information highlighting the principles involved in this matter. Please have a look at these articles:

 

*** w21 July p. 30 Questions From Readers ***
How should Jehovah’s Witnesses view using matchmaking websites to find a marriage mate?
https://www.jw.org/finder?wtlocale=E&docid=2021483&srctype=wol&srcid=share&par=2

 

*** g05 4/22 p. 16 “Should I Try Internet Dating?” ***
“Should I Try Internet Dating?”
https://www.jw.org/finder?wtlocale=E&docid=102005286&srctype=wol&srcid=share&par=2

 

*** g05 5/22 p. 12 Can Internet Dating Really Be Dangerous? ***
Young People Ask . . .
https://www.jw.org/finder?wtlocale=E&docid=102005363&srctype=wol&srcid=share&par=1

 

In general, it's preferable to have a start a relationship with someone you can see in person and observe in her environment. It's very difficult to get to know a person well on the internet. Not to mention that there are many scammers who lead naive Witnesses into believing their are a person of the opposite sex and then ask for money.

 

There are many ways you can get to know wonderful sisters around you: doing voluntary work at assemblies and conventions, accompanying friends to give talks in other congregations, joining public witnessing in metropolitan areas, volunteering to work some days for the branch...

 

Whatever you decide to do after reading those articles, please take into account that JWTalk is not a matchmaking site, and contacting sisters here with romantic purposes is a sure way to get your membership cancelled.

 

[Mike047]

Carlos, you have made the important points very clear.

[Ishaya]

Bro James, may I ask please,what is your reason for wanting to have a sister from another country online?

 

I'm just curious because,

Beautiful sisters are everywhere 🤐

[Ishaya]

13 hours ago, carlos said:

contacting sisters here with romantic purposes is a sure way to get your membership cancelled.

 

 

I think we need some clarification on this Bro Carlos,

 

If a brother contacts a sister here on Jwtalk just to get to know her better and just to be close friends,

 

Do you consider that to be wrong?

 

[Qapla]

Ishaya, it is simple ... JWTalk is not an online dating site. If someone treats it as though it is, that is a violation of the policies. If someone joins JWTalk for the explicit purpose of finding a mate and then pursues such through direct messages and/or contacting singles here for the sole purpose of trying to establish a romantic relationship that is also a violation of policies.

 

Although staff does not see private messages, when someone starts contacting others trying to establish a romantic course, at least some of those contacted will usually contact the staff and report such behavior.

 

Since members here know JWTalk is not a dating site, they are usually quick to report breaches of this type.

 

I hope that answers your question.

 

Edited October 28 by Qapla

[franceml]

Genesis 24:42-44 ... Our brothers and sister may need help. Would be better to go and find this help out ?.... If we try to have Jesus or Jehovah´s mind in this aspect, how will you answer it?

[Hope]

 

Edited October 28 by Hope

[Ishaya]

4 hours ago, Qapla said:

Isahaya, it is simple ... JWTalk is not an online dating site. If someone treats it as though it is, that is a violation of the policies. If someone joins JWTalk for the explicit purpose of finding a mate and then pursues such through direct messages and/or contacting singles here for the sole purpose of trying to establish a romantic relationship that is also a violation of policies.

 

Although staff does not see private messages, when someone starts contacting others trying to establish a romantic course, at least some of those contacted will usually contact the staff and report such behavior.

 

Since members here know JWTalk is not a dating site, they are usually quick to report breaches of this type.

 

I hope that answers your question.

 

 

 

Thank you Bro John,

Please try to spell my name correctly next time,it matters to me.

 

 

So to put things more clearly;

 

In a matchmaking website,the moderators find matching mates for members based on their request,
However the moderators of Jwtalk do not do matchmaking.

That is clear enough.

But, the moderator of Jwtalk need to realize that although they do not do matchmaking,  they cannot prevent brothers and sisters from forming personal relationships based on consensus,to try to prevent members from forming personal relationships will be cruel and inhuman.

 

All members of Jwtalk are adults,and have the fundamental human right to form personal relationships on their own discretion.

If a member extends a hand of friendship to another member whether of the same gender or not,I do not see anything wrong with that.
If a member does not want such friendship they can simply and respectfully decline it and it ends between the two people.

It is understandable to report to the moderators if a member persist in requesting for friendship from another member who has already declined it, however for a member to quickly report another member to the moderator for simply requesting for personal friendship does not makes sense and does not show reasonableness,the moderators should be realistic in their judgement.

 

To put simply
The moderators in Jwtalk do not do matchmaking but members can form their personal friendship on their own discretion based on consensus.

 

I think this is a better way to explain this.

[BLEmom]

I would report a request.  Why?  Because if a brother reached out to me, chances are he may have reached out to more than one on this platform. If I don’t report, the moderators wouldn’t know the trend. 
 

So, yes, Ishaya, if a brother or sister starts sending unsolicited romantic messages to someone on this website, they should expect to be reported. 

[coony77]

How about we all just take a deep breath and then call the following to mind: We are a family. Perhaps our choice of words in a comment is not ideal (we are all imperfect) but surely no one here is implying bad intentions on anyone's part.

[Ishaya]

4 hours ago, franceml said:

Genesis 24:42-44 ... Our brothers and sister may need help. Would be better to go and find this help out ?.... If we try to have Jesus or Jehovah´s mind in this aspect, how will you answer it?

 

Dear Sister,you make a very good point and you're not wrong,

 

Unfortunately,some brothers have a very different opinion,to them it is wrong to help a fellow believer to find a mate.however several examples both in ancient times (like in the scripture you cited) and modern experiences have shown that such a practice does not in any way violate the  teachings of the bible, even the FDS have recently begin to recognize that even arranged married can turn out very succesful.

[Ishaya]

15 minutes ago, BLEmom said:

I would report a request.  Why?  Because if a brother reached out to me, chances are he may have reached out to more than one on this platform. If I don’t report, the moderators wouldn’t know the trend. 
 

So, yes, Ishaya, if a brother or sister starts sending unsolicited romantic messages to someone on this website, they should expect to be reported. 

 

I'm just curious,

 

So If you ask for a friendship from one person and he/she declines,

What makes it inappropriate to ask someone else who might be interested ?

does your culture consider it wrong?

[jdcarlson]

Jehovah's Organization has for MANY years counseled against attempting to develop relationships via the internet.

 

We all hope the everyone on the forum is who he (or she) says they are. But, the forum does not ask for confirmation from Elders in the individual's congregation. Back in the days when there was live music at Circuit Assemblies and Disctrict Conventions I had to get a completely filled out Volunteer Service Application signed by an Elder I knew before they could play in the orchestra.

 

So, there may well be people on the forum that do not have pure motives.

 

Plus, it is too easy to hide one's true personality on a forum. We can always "be on our best behavior" on a forum.

 

So, if an individual approaches more than one other individual to "persue an inapprpriate" relationship, that is certainly somehting the moderators should know about.

 

I speak from experience on this. NOT my own, but there have been at least two "disasters" in my congregation that started with internet conversations.

 

Thanks,

 

Jim

[Ishaya]

11 minutes ago, BLEmom said:

 

We do not call people by their country of origin ie the Canadian brother or Afrikan brother or whatever. My friend is from South Africa. She doesn’t refer to herself as South African. She just says she’s from the US because that’s where she lives now. 

 

 

It is understandable that you see things this way,

 

But please be aware that people express themselves in different ways,

 

Here in Africa,it is generally considered a  betrayal to deny where you come from,this is because experience has shown that Some people develop a low self esteem about themselves because of where they come from,so some try to give a polish and immaculate opinion about themselves by hiding where they come from.such behaviour is highly discouraged and frowned at in the African context.

 

Even if I live in the US I wouldn't say I'm from the US because that's not where I come from.

 

[BLEmom]

34 minutes ago, Ishaya said:

 

I'm just curious,

 

So If you ask for a friendship from one person and he/she declines,

What makes it inappropriate to ask someone else who might be interested ?

does your culture consider it wrong?

It’s not the action but where and when the action is taken. 
this is not the appropriate place for that. 

[BLEmom]

21 minutes ago, Ishaya said:

 

It is understandable that you see things this way,

 

But please be aware that people express themselves in different ways,

 

Here in Africa,it is generally considered a  betrayal to deny where you come from,this is because experience has shown that Some people develop a low self esteem about themselves because of where they come from,so some try to give a polish and immaculate opinion about themselves by hiding where they come from.such behaviour is highly discouraged and frowned at in the African context.

 

Even if I live in the US I wouldn't say I'm from the US because that's not where I come from.

 

That’s true. However, keep in mind that this is a forum originating in the states. So one would normally try to word things so it is understood by the majority and the location it is directed to. 

[Ishaya]

25 minutes ago, BLEmom said:

 

Regardless of country, no one should be coming to this forum to seek a spouse. That’s not what it is for. 

 

What would make it wrong for single brothers and sisters to have it in mind to find a compatible mate when joining this forum?

Is Jwtalk antimarriage?

 

Their are numerous experiences of brothers and sisters including Elders and MS who visit several congregations when searching for a suitable mate, would you fault this approach too? Isn't Jwtalk like a congregation of brothers?

I would liken Jwtalk as a congregation too.

 

Does it really matter where you end up finding a compatible christian partner?

 

 

Let's be careful how we set rules for others,let's be considerate,

Finding a suitable marriage mate is not an easy thing especially in our organization, single ones need all the help they can get.

 

Interestingly we have celebrated good turn out of relationships that started here on Jwtalk and led to successful marriage,

How do you know that those brothers did not join the forum at first with the intension to find a suitable christian partner?

[BLEmom]

19 minutes ago, Ishaya said:

 

What would make it wrong for single brothers and sisters to have it in mind to find a compatible mate when joining this forum?

Is Jwtalk antimarriage?

 

Their are numerous experiences of brothers and sisters including Elders and MS who visit several congregations when searching for a suitable mate, would you fault this approach too? Isn't Jwtalk like a congregation of brothers?

I would liken Jwtalk as a congregation too.

 

Does it really matter where you end up finding a compatible christian partner?

 

 

Let's be careful how we set rules for others,let's be considerate,

Finding a suitable marriage mate is not an easy thing especially in our organization, single ones need all the help they can get.

 

Interestingly we have celebrated good turn out of relationships that started here on Jwtalk and led to successful marriage,

How do you know that those brothers did not join the forum at first with the intension to find a suitable christian partner?

This has already been answered. 
No need to continue to push for something that is against the forum policy. 

[coony77]

22 minutes ago, Ishaya said:

 

Interestingly we have celebrated good turn out of relationships that started here on Jwtalk and led to successful marriage,

How do you know that those brothers did not join the forum at first with the intension to find a suitable christian partner?

We might not "know", but we love our brothers and we NEVER imply bad intentions.  

 

1 corinthians 13:7 says that love "believes all things", so we believe that all our brothers here had good intentions when they joined the forums.

 

Edited October 28 by coony77

[New World Explorer]

44 minutes ago, Ishaya said:

Sadly,each time it is mentioned that Jwtalk is not a dating site,the target of such mention is mainly African brothers because of the stereotype that people in the west seem to already have about Africans,but what people fail to understand is that in every race of humans on earth,there are always good people.

My CO is African, and I love him so much! 

Edited October 28 by New World Explorer

[Lance]

This topic went from a very innocent and appropriate question of  human need and desire. To the forum is racially profiling members comments. 
We are a Jehovah’s Witness discussion site… not  a JW dating or match site.. If you would like to have such a site start your own site. 

If two members on this site want to privately communicate, that is entirely up to them and none of the moderators business..period.

 

That been said we want all members to feel safe here, spiritually, mentally, and freedom from any harassment.

We have had comments mostly from sisters who were receiving unwanted personal messages, mostly from brand new members who thought it was open season on any sister who is a desirable candidate for their aspirations. … that is why the moderators clamp down on “any” member in the whole world no matter of ethnicity…who gives “any” indication that this is a JW match site.. and would like to let everyone  see their “want ad”.

 

You may not agree with that direction.. that is fine…so if this site is not meeting your needs move on and find someplace else that meets your needs.

Also we will not tolerate members who love to unpin and throw grenades for their own  jollies ..and then proclaim you misunderstand me.

 

Jesus was a peacemaker and so are his followers. Peace disturbers will be asked to leave.