Seeing "the invisible"ones in our Congregation

[DancesWithWife]

I had a conversation with a brother yesterday before the meeting. I told him I had missed seeing him at the meetings and not hearing his answers. I did say I saw you on Zoom for those meetings. We were home sick for about 3 weeks, when on Zoom I always like to see who is online. He thanked me, but then added he felt like he was invisible. He thanked me before the meeting began as he came in just as the meeting was about to start. I put my arm around his shoulder as we walked to our seats, telling him I was glad he was there. He then sent a heartfelt text to me after the meeting.

 

Why do people feel invisible? It's not just a small problem in the congregation but those in the world have these same things. I was speaking with the manager and a cashier at the local Grocery Outlet who feel this way too. But what causes a person to feel invisible? Here is one explanation I found: "People often say they feel "invisible" when they feel like they are being ignored, disregarded, or not fully seen or heard by others, which can stem from various factors like low self-esteem, lack of validation, societal biases based on gender, race, or age, past experiences of neglect, shyness, or even just feeling like their opinions and needs aren't taken seriously in their relationships or social circles."

 

In a bigger congregation one could just blend in with the others, making them appear invisible. Some people are naturally reserved and quiet, others not so much.  One sister who older and very quiet told my wife she is not much value at the Kingdom Hall as she feels she does not have much to offer. We should never tell a person "that's not true", instead say "I see your value  and Jehovah knows more than I do."

 

Have you ever felt invisible to others? How did you help someone who felt invisible?   

[Landon1285]

Honestly it can be a number of things but from my experience it's been that some feel: "no one (no other human) understands what I'm going through."

 

To help I've taken note of those a bit distant socially at meetings and try to strike up a conversation. Some are brief while others tell me everything that is going on with them. 

 

So I would say personal interest combined with their trust in our sincerity when speaking to them helps the most. 

 

[DancesWithWife]

17 hours ago, Landon1285 said:

So I would say personal interest combined with their trust in our sincerity when speaking to them helps the most. 

Agreed. I have heard some say to those who have been missing or not answering lately say "I miss hearing your answers". While this seems to be a compliment, one who is struggling just hears "you miss my comments, but not me the person."  How we speak to the depressed, sad and lonely is very important.

 

I often think of Paul's words to the Thessalonians at 1 Thessalonians 5:14 "to warn the disorderly, speak consolingly to those who are depressed,support the weak, be patient toward all". The study note on this verse added "Paul does not urge fellow Christians to admonish or warn the depressed. Rather, he asks that Christians comfort or console them." The other study note on this verse about consoling stated "speak consolingly: The Greek verb for “speak consolingly” (pa·ra·my·theʹo·mai) is also used at John 11:19, 31 regarding the Jews who went to console Mary and Martha after the death of their brother, Lazarus. It denotes a great degree of tenderness and comfort.”

 

Instead of saying I miss hearing your answers, you could say, "I find it very encouraging to hear your answers, your insight makes me appreciate how much you value your relationship or your love for Jehovah." Then follow up simply stating "I miss seeing you here at the meetings, like many of us I know you must have struggles that many of us are not aware of."

[Tortuga]

6 minutes ago, DancesWithWife said:

I have heard some say to those who have been missing or not answering lately say "I miss hearing your answers". While this seems to be a compliment, one who is struggling just hears "you miss my comments, but not me the person."  How we speak to the depressed, sad and lonely is very important.

That is a good point. Saying "I miss your comments" lets them know we miss them, but it might make them feel guilty for not commenting. You make a good point about missing the person, not just what they did.