A good joke

[bohemian]

I went to a fancy dress party as a harp.

The host asked me, “What are you dressed as?”

I said, “I’m a harp.”

He said, “But you're too small to be a harp.”

I was incredibly offended, and asked him, “Are you calling me a lyre?!”

 

[jayrtom]

On 8/13/2020 at 7:19 PM, rocket said:

So true! The slide-rule went down the same road as rotary-dial phones. Kids don't know how to use them. Best hope the computers don't go down on a NASA mission.

We may even be  here to see classical computers (as we know it) going down also in favor of Quantum computers 

 

 

 

And this reminds me of a couple of jokes on the subject >>> (You may understand it or you may not... don't know the odds :D)

 

 

Q: What is Schrödinger’s favorite Bond-movie?
A: “Live and Let Die”

 

Q: What is Schrödinger’s cat’s favorite video game?
A: Half-Life

 

Scientists were happy but staff was frustrated to clean up the mess as the Quantum Computer got so entangled.

 

Quantum computing is like a box of chocolates. You never know what you’re gonna get when you measure.

 

Q: What is Schrödinger’s cat’s name?
A: Hamlet

 

Quantum fairytale:
Alice and Bob were in love and tried to keep their entaglement secret from Alice’s evil mother Eve. But Eve found out and revealed the state of the affair. Alice totally collapsed. And so did Bob.

 

 

 

Q: What do you call a single spin qubit that has not yet found another qubit to entangle with?
A: Spinster

 

 

I'll put more quantum jokes if the reaction is good... or not

Edited August 18, 2020 by jayrtom

[kejedo]

To be or not to be. HAHa That poor cat.  We have a relatively new (to us) brother at our cong named Pierre. For some reason every time I see his face on zoom I think of Pierre de Fermat's last theorem. It took hundreds of years until that "theorem" was solved by a mathematical proof in 1995.  Before 1995, I seem to recall it being referred to as Fermat's last theorem. Shouldn't it have been  called a theory until proven? 

I have seen older texts that refer to it as Fermat's postulate.

Y(it's all relative)S

Edited August 18, 2020 by kejedo

[kejedo]

Bro. Jaytrom. Keep 'em coming. I am among those (many) amused by quantum physics.

[Tortuga]

If Schrodinger told a quantum joke, would you get it and not get it at the same time?

[jayrtom]

9 minutes ago, Mephibosheth said:

If Schrodinger told a quantum joke, would you get it and not get it at the same time?

Basically before I listened to it, there would be a double state in which I would get it and I wouldn't. But as soon as I listened to it, the double state would collapse into one. Like the cat in the box that is dead and alive before an observer opens the box and determines its state

 

The weirdness doesn't work on a conscience mind 😉

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

 

Since it wasn't a joke here you find some just for you

 

Q: What kind of photos does a turtle take?
A: Shellfies

Q: Why did the turtle cross the road?
A: To get to the shell station!

Q: What does a turtle do on it's birthday?
A: It shellebrates!

Q: What do turtles use to communicate?
A: A shellphone!

Q: What do you call a famous turtle?
A: A shellebrity.

Q: What do you call a turtle that poops a lot?
A: A turdle

Q: What kind of jokes do sea turtles tell?
A: Shell-arious ones!

Q: What happens when your kids want to buy a tortoise?
A: You shell out a lot of money.

Q: What does a turtle need to ride a bike?
A: A shellmet

 

 

[Raven]

On 1/28/2019 at 12:52 AM, Maʹher-shalʹal-hash-baz said:

We have 74 Islands in our territory... I wonder if they are on one of ours...

Just Older
 

This is a good one for the Witness Memes thread.

[➕👇 ꓤꓱꓷꓠꓵ🎵Tone]

21 minutes ago, Bjern said:

This is a good one for the Witness Memes thread.

I don't think I knew about that thread back then....and now it is out of date...😪

[Raven]

1 minute ago, Maʹher-shalʹal-hash-baz said:

I don't think I knew about that thread back then....and now it is out of date...😪

Out of date? That's sad. 😞

[➕👇 ꓤꓱꓷꓠꓵ🎵Tone]

Just now, Bjern said:

Out of date? That's sad. 😞

We are in lock-down too....no markets carts, no ship/Port witnessing... no island adventures...

[Raven]

1 minute ago, Maʹher-shalʹal-hash-baz said:

We are in lock-down too....no markets carts, no ship/Port witnessing... no island adventures...

Especially sad...Guess those two guys will be waiting a while on that island. Hope they have WiFi!

[Raven]

1 hour ago, Bjern said:

Hope they have WiFi!

You see, if they have WiFi, then they can get onto JW.org, and they can get onto Zoom too. 😉

 

[➕👇 ꓤꓱꓷꓠꓵ🎵Tone]

Should this go in the joke or a meme section?

Or should this go in the medical section...?

[Qapla]

Do you the test with each of those separately or mix them all together?

[➕👇 ꓤꓱꓷꓠꓵ🎵Tone]

Do you the test with each of those separately or mix them all together?

I think some experimentation is required. We can swap notes when we are sober... 2021 sometime...

Old (Downunder) Tone

[jayrtom]

5 hours ago, Bjern said:

You see, if they have WiFi, then they can get onto JW.org, and they can get onto Zoom too. 😉

 

You didn't need to explain that

 

Unless someone could understand that if they have wifi then they passed on the Witnesses Filter

Edited August 19, 2020 by jayrtom

[jayrtom]

Quantum entanglement is not hard to understand:

Socks come in pairs. If you put a sock on your left foot, the other sock of the pair instantly becomes the “right sock,” no matter where it is located in the universe.

 

There is only 1 type of people in this world

Those who understand quantum computing
Those who do not understand quantum computing

[kejedo]

6 hours ago, jayrtom said:

There is only 1 type of people in this world

Those who understand quantum computing
Those who do not understand quantum computing

You gut me, Bro. pauli(ne) exclusion principle, YS

[jayrtom]

10 hours ago, kejedo said:

You gut me, Bro. pauli(ne) exclusion principle, YS

And I din't got you... 🤔

[Qapla]

What do baseball and pancakes have in common?

 

 

Spoiler

.................... they both rely on a good batter

 

 

 

 

 

[Old]

1 hour ago, Qapla said:

What do baseball and pancakes have in common?

 

 

  Hide contents

.................... they both rely on a good batter

 

 

You get the  for that one.

 

 

 

 

 

[pnutts]

Don't be such a Ding Bat!

[Old]

Corection, dong bat.

[kejedo]

On 8/18/2020 at 9:59 PM, Maʹher-shalʹal-hash-baz said:

Should this go in the joke or a meme section?

Or should this go in the medical section...?

Checked my closet. I only have vodka. Should I use a shot measure? I had hospital covid tests: Swab - April; antibody test May; My last swab test was a couple of weeks ago.All negative. Since my reports are pretty up to date, should I just try one test instead of nine times? I already have a headache.  

[bohemian]

I bought my wife a Pug as a present.

Despite the squashed nose, bulging eyes and rolls of fat, the dog seems to like her.

 

 

 

 

I went out for a few beers with the Beach Boys last night.  It was all going rather well until I asked them whose round it was.

Edited August 26, 2020 by bohemian