I HATE being more tech savvy than my spouse!

[Tortuga]

1 minute ago, Hope said:

 

Do most men have a problem dealing with a clever wife? 

 

No.

[shali]

My husband was not raised in the truth and that may have a bearing on his attitude.  There was no one to teach him humility and the thought that others are superior to you.  He may of had preconceived notions about the rolls of a husband and  wife  before we got married that I didn't know about too.  He knew I had my own business, so I would think he would know I'd have to have a few brains in my head. (That reminds me - the day I taught him how to balance his checking account!!! What a fiasco! LOL)

 

It still puzzles me how anyone else can show him how to do something BUT me.  Personally, if I had a husband that could fix stuff, I'd just lean back and enjoy!  Sometimes it's nice to just throw something at someone and say "will you please fix this for me?"  Part of our problem also is that I will stick with something much longer than he will.  If he can't figure it out in 5 minutes then it's a lost cause.  I will  go days and weeks trying to figure out something, I rarely, if ever, give up.

[Hope]

I'll be honest -- it's more of the "raised in the Truth" types that I've noticed with the most insecurity about having a clever wife (bizarre notions of submission), but I digress...  

Edited June 1, 2016 by Hope

[Tortuga]

54 minutes ago, Hope said:

I'll be honest -- it's more of the "raised in the Truth" types that I've noticed with the most insecurity about having a clever wife (bizarre notions of submission), but I digress...  

 

I think my wife is the smartest person in the world, she was smart enough to let me marry her and she gets smarter every day. 

Edited June 1, 2016 by Tortuga

[shali]

3 minutes ago, Tortuga said:

I think my wife is the smartest person in the world, she was smart enough to let me marry her and she gets smarter every day. 

 

Maybe you should spend more time with her and less time with us then (hehehe!)

[Musky]

Maybe you should spend more time with her and less time with us then (hehehe!)

Hello kettle, this is the pot, you're black.

[shali]

3 minutes ago, Musky said:

Hello kettle, this is the pot, you're black.

My husband isn't home yet - once he is, I'm outta here!

[tekmantwo]

52 minutes ago, Tortuga said:

she gets smarter every day. 

 

 

48 minutes ago, shali said:

Maybe you should spend more time with her and less time with us then (hehehe!)

Not so fast, there may be something to glean from this

[tekmantwo]

55 minutes ago, Tortuga said:

 gets smarter every day. 

 

There is a YouTube channel named that, it's really good. The guy does super slo motion camera and does some neat stuff...

[shali]

Thanks for the head's up on that YouTube channel! I'll check that out when I get the chance.  I like the Crazy Russian Hacker too!  My husband and I both get a laugh watching him (or rather listening to how he phrases things!)

[shali]

56 minutes ago, shali said:

My husband isn't home yet - once he is, I'm outta here!

Figures that this would be the first comment Musky has liked of mine in quite a while! HaHa!

[Musky]

It was a sympathy like.

[hatcheckgirl]

Apart from continuing to keep trying to be understanding, maybe think about the lesson we learned from Esther this week in the Bible Study.  In para 19, I thought it summed it up for me so well:

" Esther’s example teaches us much about the art of persuasion. If you ever need to lay bare a serious problem to a loved one or even to a person in authority, a combination of patience, respect, and candor can be of great help".

 

Maybe use this to try point to reach his heart when you speak to him, as a way to open up the conversation?  It may reassure him to hear it expressed in terms of application of the scriptures, such as Ecc 4:9 Two are better than one+ because they have a good reward* for their hard work.  The alternative rendition for "good reward" is "greater benefit".  Isn't that what you are trying to do in the family for him and for you?   Remember, "The word of God is alive... and is able to discern thoughts and intentions of the heart. "

[Witness1970]

On 5/27/2016 at 7:52 AM, hatcheckgirl said:

If you can, sit down and communicate this, maybe using Prov 31 to show him that you only have the family's wellbeing in mind.

I looked at Proverbs 31 in a slightly different way several years ago.  I read all the way through.  Then  I thought about the last part of verse 28.  Wouldn't it be something if my wife was doing all those things and I was the one who was failing to praise her for her work?  It made me think about that for a while.

[Witness1970]

In my family, I am the one that is tech savvy.  I taught myself Assembly Language programming.  People who know what that is are shocked that I did that.  That was years ago when it was more worthwhile to do programming.  Today programs are available to do almost everything you can imagine.

 

My wife has just recently learned to use an Android tablet for the meetings.  She never learned to use a computer at all.

 

Sometimes it takes a lot of patience to deal with someone who just does not want help.  If it works out it is well worth it.

 

[tekmantwo]

On 6/1/2016 at 10:04 AM, Hope said:

Men, brothers.... is this something a wife should expect?  *this is not focusing on Shali's situation - but inspired by it*...

 

Do most men have a problem dealing with a clever wife?  Am I mistaken in thinking a husband would admire his wife's intelligence like she admires his?  There are a few things that make me skittish about marriage, but this is actually just about the biggest one -- that my husband would resent what I know or how I know it.

 

I've had random conversations with brothers that have revealed that sort of insecurity about them and it scares me right off.  It would break my heart to know that someone I loved (if I could actually grow to love him) was resentful or intimidated by any knowledge or talents I have - it would crush my spirit.  I think I would be so very proud of my husband regarding anything he does... ESPECIALLY if it's something that I can't do.  And I'd be delighted that someone so smart chose me.

 

Do men not feel the same way?

 

 

Kinda late to this but--

I can not speak for anyone but myself..I do not feel threatened by intelligence,  male or female. I have hired, worked with,  and fired, plenty of people of both genders. 

Guys that come in with bluff and bravado better be good...I would tell them you better show up in your runnin shoes and then I would work them half to death just for fun...while working harder and faster than them. I would tell them if I have to wait on you or do your job, I  don't need you on my jobsite.

Same went for women. If they figured they were gonna use girly tricks or games to keep their job, nope, not happening. I needed people that worked smart, and fast...usually took a while to find good ones.

 

When I met Denise,  we talked on the phone for almost 2 years before we ever met. We logged at least 1500hrs in, talking nearly every day. I  knew how stubborn she was, how devoted to Jehovah she was, how her work ethics were, and I knew I  wouldn't find anyone else that was gonna put up with me. 

 

We each have our strengths, we each have our weaknesses.  In the important places, like our faith, we are a solid match. In other areas, we offset and complement.  That is as it should be,  the way we both wanted it.

She makes me proud. I am very happy that I can look at her and know she's mine. I  know she feels the same towards me. I can't imagine it being any other way. I  know she's got me covered, she knows I'll always be there for her.

 

Trusting your mate, being proud of them, knowing that they would do pretty much the same as you would do is an important part of being married. 

 

I  really dont think I  could be with a girly girl, someone who couldnt get in there and get dirty if needed.  I have seen her work herself almost to the point of passing out, just cuz something needed doing and she was gonna do it herself if she had to...she's tough. And I  appreciate that and I let her know it.

 

She is also dang smart, lots of ways smarter than me. She was one of 12 people in 4 states that could do the job she had.

Mission Control,  MidAmericaPower Co.....not a chance I could do that..

 

We have a different history but we have the same goals. I have been blessed with a partner that I know will give her all to get us there....even if she has to carry me....or, I her....

 

So, 'do most men have a problem dealing with a clever wife?'...

 

Not this man--

[pnutts]

3 hours ago, tekmantwo said:

Not this man--

I notice you have a crease in top of your hat. Is that from the rolling pin? No Hoss Cartwright hat for you.

[DLM]

 This discussion  reminds me of something I seen on the 'net recently. The question was  asked  "What do men want more than anything?"  Hummm maybe I should look at that to see what I haven't been giving him all these 64 years! The answer was RESPECT! Well  sure! The "Word" says we have to show deep respect . Maybe that is why we are still together and alive after all these years. The world has just now figured it out!! I think it works both ways. Just mho.

Edited June 4, 2016 by Agent MOM
add a word

[RaymondG]

Interesting, that...

 

Some sisters think they don't have to respect their husbands unless they earn it. Some elders back them up.

 

That's not the bible's point of view, I don't think.

[steadfast]

On 6/1/2016 at 7:30 PM, Witness1970 said:

I taught myself Assembly Language programming.  People who know what that is are shocked that I did that.

 

It is rumored that in some areas, suspected terrorists are forced to learn Assembly Language programming as a form of "enhanced interrogation."

[hatcheckgirl]

8 hours ago, RaymondG said:

Interesting, that...

 

Some sisters think they don't have to respect their husbands unless they earn it. Some elders back them up.

 

That's not the bible's point of view, I don't think.

Brother Raymond,

 

Sisters are in a delicate situation when it comes to respect.  The Bible clearly says we must have deep respect for our husband.  And maybe some husbands are not worthy of respect.  But like Abigail, we can always respect their position as our heads in the family arrangement, even if we don't necessarily respect their actions.   And if you live in a difficult marriage for a long time, it does become harder to maintain that respect.  And yet many sisters admirably do that by relying on Jehovah, and he helps them endure it.  The same could be said for brothers in a difficult marriage too.

 

 

[Witness1970]

On 5/26/2016 at 7:45 PM, shali said:

He declines, he said he's not a baby and can do it himself.

 

On 5/26/2016 at 8:14 PM, shali said:

What really frustrates me is that I see others teach him things when we have maintenance at the Kingdom Hall or in other situations and he doesn't treat them like he treats me at all.

 

It may be hard to do.  One thing men want is to be accepted as they are by their wives.  You may be doing things to show that you accept him but maybe it is not coming across as acceptance to him.  First, accept him as he is then he is more open to change.  Just a thought.

[shali]

On 6/5/2016 at 2:24 AM, Witness1970 said:

 

It may be hard to do.  One thing men want is to be accepted as they are by their wives.  You may be doing things to show that you accept him but maybe it is not coming across as acceptance to him.  First, accept him as he is then he is more open to change.  Just a thought.

The thought that I don't accept him is abhorant to me. I accept everything about him including his OCD.  It sounds to me that he isn't accepting me as I am, but, since I'm the wife, the blame falls on me I guess.  Time to dumb it down and allow wastefulness in our lives.

[Tortuga]

1 minute ago, shali said:

 Time to dumb it down and allow wastefulness in our lives.

Oh my, that sounds resentful, I assume you don't mean it that way...

[shali]

Just now, Tortuga said:

Oh my, that sounds resentful, I assume you don't mean it that way...

Yes, in a way I do.  Apparently I'm not accepting of my husband if I continue to fix things he doesn't want me to be able to fix, and therein lies the problem. So I need to pull back some and just allow him to throw the stuff away if that is what he wants.  I'm always "Johnny on the spot" when I find out something doesn't work - time to pull back and wait for him to come to me  and request a hand if he wants it.  That will mean more wastefulness in our lives, as I know he will be tossing things in the trash that can be fixed and I will have to leave it be.  But perhaps if he finds that he can come to me when he wants something fixed bad enough, it won't be so hard for him the next time and the next and all this silliness can be over.