Friends from England - Please Respond!

[shali]

I am writing this for a very dear witness friend of mine who used to live in England a couple of decades ago.  Currently she is living in the United States being a full time caregiver to her 91 year old ailing mother.  Because her circumstances are what they are, she would like to make her way back to England when she is free to do so (North Yorkshire is where her heart is).  In the meantime, she would LOVE to cultivate friendships with friends from England (she needs to have this to look forward to just to get through all the challenges she faces now [without much help, I might add]. It would be such a great encouragment to her and really give her something to look forward to. She is single (so single or married sisters would be the best).  If there are some of you out there who live in England who might even know other witnesses straight from North Yorkshire that you could put her in touch with - that would be fantastic!  I hope someone here has room in their heart to reach out and see if you can stand one more friend in your life!

 

If anyone is willing to reach out to her - please PM me with your name and email address and I will give it to her to contact you.  

[Old]

A good way to reach out is this forum. Maybe you should encourage her to join us.

[shali]

She is extremely shy and asked me if I would do it for her.  I can understand how she feels - sometimes this forum can be a bit overwhelming for me. I don't think she wants to be inundated with a lot of comments - this way she can talk to people just one at a time when she is ready.

Edited November 4, 2018 by shali

[hatcheckgirl]

Maybe she can just join and lurk?  It's quite a nice bunch of brothers and sisters here, and we don't bite   I like the extended association we can have here, especially when our circumstances make it hard to be out there mixing with others (not advocating that this replace our congregations, just to add to the association).

 

In any case, I hope she finds someone to tee up with from the UK. ❤️

[Friends just call me Ross]

I am never inundated with comments.  

I just click Unread Content and open the posts I am interested in reading.

 

[New World Explorer]

5 hours ago, shali said:

I don't think she wants to be inundated with a lot of comments

We all have "control" over amount of our personal involvement here...

It's all about choices ... we choose to comment, or even answer to our comment when quoted.. we control the flow.

[shali]

I don't think you brothers and sisters understand what it's like to work a full time job and then come home to a full time job (caregiver) and to do it all alone.  That is why I'm making this request for her.  She has enough on her plate in regards to her time as it is (plus studying and meetings and ministry).  

[Hope]

5 hours ago, shali said:

I don't think you brothers and sisters understand what it's like to work a full time job and then come home to a full time job (caregiver) and to do it all alone.  That is why I'm making this request for her.  She has enough on her plate in regards to her time as it is (plus studying and meetings and ministry).  

 

I can definitely appreciate aspects of your friend's plight.  I'll just give my encouragement for her to join this board and see what she likes, too.  For me, it's MUCH more difficult and time-consuming to feel required to answer separate emails/messages, think of something to chat about or respond. I love this and other boards because it's more like me attending an interesting gathering and being allowed to sit and observe/listen to other conversations without being obliged to join in... but knowing I can at any time and be welcome.

 

I read (or don't read) any topic here that catches my eye - if I feel like it.  And respond when the fancy tickles me (or not).  For me, I'd rather hate loads of emails from people I don't know and feel obligated to respond to each one in a timely fashion.  On discussion boards, no one bugs me at all!

 

Just another angle to consider  ❤️ 

20 hours ago, Friends just call me Ross said:

I am never inundated with comments.  

I just click Unread Content and open the posts I am interested in reading.

 

 

That's what I do

[Old]

I echo Sister Hopes feelings on forum verses email. Here I listen in on a lot of conversations, write replies to many and hit the send button on just a few. Eamail? I recieve many each day, and find a need to respond to very few.  

[Tortuga]

55 minutes ago, Hope said:

On discussion boards, no one bugs me at all!

[Hope]

As a single sister (the desired demographic here), I will say that I'd not likely start up a correspondence with someone I didn't know, no matter how well vetted they were by (forgive me @shali) someone else I don't really know.  I'm quite busy as well... and I'd be much more inclined to take a chat to messages or even email with someone I've become acquainted with thru other means - real life, discussion board, Facebook, etc.

 

Even then -- it often takes me quite awhile to get back to emails and even messages here and on FB. I have emails from people I should have answered years ago... It's easier for me to respond to threads, allow everyone to see my answers at the same time and maybe get more specific in private, if necessary.  To be honest, I encourage my mother to check Facebook for news about me rather than a lot of phone calls.  It's just easier and more timely than my finding time to write or phone (I know that's terrible, but... it is what it is. 😕  ).  I suspect Shali's friend may have more success in our form of social media than hoping for electronic pen pals.

[Tortuga]

She will also have the benefit of brothers participating in a forum.  Personally I'd be uncomfortable emailing a sister. 

[Hope]

Just now, Tortuga said:

She will also have the benefit of brothers participating in a forum.  Personally I'd be uncomfortable emailing a sister. 

 

I'll be honest - that's the BEST part of these forums.  I can NEVER talk to brothers in real life like I can here.  The advice, counsel, camaraderie, different perspectives (male point of view)... way more interesting and encouraging, frankly, than chatting up single sisters all the time.  I love you brothers! ❤️ 

 

I need such interaction in my life.

[shali]

 I really don't know what else to say, she doesn't want to come in here herself.  I am respecting her feelings and wishes in this matter (her reasons are her own).  I'm not going to force her to do something she simply does NOT want to do.  This is the way she  is hoping to at least find one contact with a sister in England.  I sure didn't think this post would be turned into what it has become.  Just because we look at something as the "best way" doesn't mean it necessarily is for someone else.  There are always different ways to achieve the same goal.  

Edited November 6, 2018 by shali

[Hope]

2 hours ago, shali said:

 I really don't know what else to say, she doesn't want to come in here herself.  I am respecting her feelings and wishes in this matter (her reasons are her own).  I'm not going to force her to do something she simply does NOT want to do.  This is the way she  is hoping to at least find one contact with a sister in England.  I sure didn't think this post would be turned into what it has become.  Just because we look at something as the "best way" doesn't mean it necessarily is for someone else.  There are always different ways to achieve the same goal.  

 

  I thought we *were* offering "different ways to achieve the same goal."  I'm not sure what you think this post has turned into, but I'm very sure no one meant any harm or disrespect.  I'm sorry it hasn't been what you'd hoped...  💐

[shali]

I had hoped this thread would find her a friend in England, instead it's been about trying to get her to join jwtalk.

[Tortuga]

18 minutes ago, shali said:

I had hoped this thread would find her a friend in England, instead it's been about trying to get her to join jwtalk.

So?

Your original post is still here and everytime someone comments it creates more attention to the thread.

 

You've done all you can do, why worry about the ensuing conversation?

 

Edited November 7, 2018 by Tortuga

[Musky]

I had hoped this thread would find her a friend in England, instead it's been about trying to get her to join jwtalk.

On a forum like this, you get what you pay for.

[Hope]

54 minutes ago, shali said:

I had hoped this thread would find her a friend in England, instead it's been about trying to get her to join jwtalk.

 

But, it *could* help her find a friend in England... however, she has to do some of the work herself, doesn't she?

 

In a forum like this, she can rest assured any who answer (after they both get to know each other a bit) are actually Witnesses.  If she doesn't want to explore an already established, vetted, warm, friendly, international group of friends - with absolutely no obligation or shared email addresses - then I don't know how much easier she'd like finding a random friend to be.  At least she could spend some time seeing who she'd like to talk with and go from there.  If you have just a couple of email addresses to share and they don't pan out, will you have to come find more friends for her?

 

It's easier to chat people up here than it is in our own congregations sometimes.. that's a nice feature for fishing for friends, I think.  But, it's certainly her decision.   

[Hope]

47 minutes ago, Tortuga said:

So?

Your original post is still here and everytime someone comments it creates more attention to the thread.

 

You've done all you can do, why worry about the ensuing conversation?

 

 

Yes, this.  If no one had commented (regardless of the content), this thread would have sunk below the first page.  Maybe a Brit will notice and ping you because of all this action! 

[GeordieGirl]

Sorry to swim against the tide of popular opinion here, but I can understand why it could be very hard and rather overwhelming for someone who is under a great deal of pressure and extremely time poor to join a forum and get themselves to the point of being trusted and accepted by the community therein. Coming in here and reading posts can take a lot of time when you are new and trying to find out how everything works.

 

I think about the old penpal days, long before the internet, when maybe through your school you would start writing to a complete stranger in another country and letters would be exchanged and over a period of time, friendship would be solidified.  Isn't that what this sister is asking for here?  A penpal?  

 

While I can understand why many would think joining the forum a good idea to reach her goal,  I think that maybe showing some empathy, looking at things from someone else's point of view and circumstances, instead of just our own, would help us to show understanding, love and compassion for another's needs.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

[Hope]

And perhaps she'll get one!  ❤️  So far, no one has offered their personal information (unless it was done privately) for pen pal activity, yet this thread has stayed active.  I haven't seen anyone be selfish or non-empathetic; I know I've honestly been hoping to help. My circumstances are not unlike the sister's as described.  

 

However, if the only replies desired are those from English sisters with emails to share, I suppose that leaves me out.  I do hope @shali 's friend finds what she's looking for.

[hatcheckgirl]

If this forum isn't what she's needing, or looking for, that's fine too.  Forums don't work for everyone.  Emails don't work for everyone.  But whenever she does get back to England, she'll find real friends there in her new congregation.  I guess she just wanted a foothold into the English side of things via an email penpal, to help her get mentally settled there.  We all understand that was the goal of starting this thread.  And we all hope for the best for her.

 

@shali Please send her our love - we are a worldwide brotherhood, and even if we aren't able to help her because we are not from England, at least we wish we could do more to help. 

[Katty]

I don't currently live in England, but I might be up there for at least a few months next year, and for a bit longer the year after if everything works out well.
Idk if that qualifies. I can PM you if it does.
Because where I plan on going doesn't look like it's too far from North Yorkshire.

Edited November 7, 2018 by Katty

[Peanuts]

I was in North Yorkshire for a short break in the summer school holidays. We stayed near Whitby and we met 2 sisters and a brother who were doing cart ministry. They were all so lovely. Do you know where it is in North Yorkshire she wants to go to? It's a fairly big area. Maybe she could contact the coordinator of the local congregation and he could find someone suitable for her to correspond with?