Joke thread/ funny story

[Hallett 82]

It's okay Vernalee...I did not get it either

That's OK. I didn't do anything talented to know about it, I just happened to read the headline on BBC and my twisted brain saw a link. It is often what separates me from "the normal people" . . .

[GrumpysWife]

I'm sure glad you cleared that up Jan. Us normal people were beginning to wonder about you:sweat:

[surfergirl]

http://ihasahotdog.files.wordpress.com/2012/03/funny-dog-pictures-discriminating-goggie-weighs-in.jpg

[surfergirl]

why

because we are worth it!

[bohemian]

After a password audit at her company, an employee was found to be using the password;

MickeyMinniePlutoHueyLouieDeweyDonaldGoofySacramento

When she was asked why she used such a long password, she rolled her eyes and said:

"Hello! It has to contain 8 characters and at least one capital."

[Musky]

My wife left a note on the fridge saying, 'It's no good, it's not working, I'm staying at Mom's for a while.'

I opened it, the light came on fine and the beers were ice cold. I have no idea what she was talking about.

[rocket]

After a password audit at her company, an employee was found to be using the password;

MickeyMinniePlutoHueyLouieDeweyDonaldGoofySacramento

When she was asked why she used such a long password, she rolled her eyes and said:

"Hello! It has to contain 8 characters and at least one capital."

That's my wife to a tee.

[Doug]

A young blonde was on vacation in the depths of Louisiana. She wanted a pair of genuine alligator shoes in the worst way, but was very reluctant to pay the high prices the local vendors were asking.

After becoming very frustrated with the "no haggle" attitude of one of the shopkeepers, the blonde shouted, "Maybe I'll just go out and catch my own alligator so I can get a pair of shoes at a reasonable price!" The shopkeeper said, "By all means, be my guest. Maybe you'll luck out and catch yourself a big one!"

Determined, the blonde turned and headed to the swamps, set on catching herself an alligator.

Later in the day, the shopkeeper is driving home, when he spots the young woman standing waist deep in the water, shotgun in hand. Just then, he sees a huge 9 foot alligator swimming quickly toward her. She takes aim, kills the creature and with a great deal of effort hauls it on to the swamp bank. Lying nearby were several more of the dead creatures. The shopkeeper watches in amazement. Just then the blonde flips the alligator on its back, and frustrated, shouts out, "Darn!, this one isn't wearing any shoes either!"

BLONDE JOKES !!! WOOHOOO !!!

A blonde goes to the hardware store and tells the guy she needs to cut down a few trees. He shows her a top-of-the-line chainsaw. "This bad boy can cut five cord of wood a day - guaranteed". So, she takes it.

After working hard all day she still hasn't even dropped one tree. Frustrated and angry with that salesman who talked her into buying it, she takes it back.

"This thing is worthless ! she tells him - not about to let him off the hook. "I've worked my butt off and haven't even got one tree cut down"

Surprised, the saleman says "I don't understand - this is a great saw" And he starts it up and gooses the throttle a couple of times.

And the blonde says "What's that noise"?

[Rajan]

After a small fight, husband and wife, both decided not to speak to each other, unless the other person take initiative to say sorry and start speaking.

In the night before going to bed, husband wrote a note and sticked on the wall which said "wake me up at 6.0 in the morning"

In the morning when he woke up it was already 7.00 and saw his wife still sleeping.

With a red face, he looked at the wall to the sticker, Under his message the note said" wake up wake up it is 6.00, wake up.."

[trottigy]

And one for Jerry.

I just saw this and love it. I am going to have to do an internet search and find one. He loves to go riding with me. I'd like to have a nice strap for him.

[Musky]

And one for Jerry.

I just saw this and love it. I am going to have to do an internet search and find one. He loves to go riding with me. I'd like to have a nice strap for him.

This even looks like your dog, Jerry! http://www.ebay.com/itm/Dog-Backpack-Carrier-New-Without-Tags-/130736372023?pt=LH_DefaultDomain_0&hash=item1e707eb937#ht_500wt_1156

[GrumpysWife]

That's perfect, Musky. In my younger days, I would have made one for Jerry. Now I just can't get my brain making anything. The price isn't bad either.

[trottigy]

And one for Jerry.

I just saw this and love it. I am going to have to do an internet search and find one. He loves to go riding with me. I'd like to have a nice strap for him.

This even looks like your dog' date=' Jerry! http://www.ebay.com/itm/Dog-Backpack-Carrier-New-Without-Tags-/130736372023?pt=LH_DefaultDomain_0&hash=item1e707eb937#ht_500wt_1156[/quote'] Thanks Bro. Price is pretty good too.

[Musky]

Husband: "Every time we argue, you never fight back. How do you manage your anger?"

Wife: "I clean the toilet seat!"

Husband: "How does it help?"

Wife: "I use your toothbrush!"

[retroHelen]

[dilip kumar]

Punjabi Funeral ..... Excellent one...

A family in Punjab was puzzled when the coffin of their dead mother (Biji) arrived from the US . It was sent by one of the daughters.

The dead body was very tightly squeezed inside the coffin, with no space left in it when they opened the lid;

they found a letter on top addressed to her brothers and sisters:

Dear Amarjeet, Satindar, Manjit and Kuljeet

I am sending Biji's body to you, since it was her wish that

she should be cremated in the compound of our ancestral home in PUNJAB!

Sorry, I could not come along as all of my paid leave is consumed.

You will find inside the coffin, under Biji's body, cans of cheese, 10 packets of Tobler chocolates and 8 packets of Badam (peanuts) please divide these among all of you.

On Biji's feet you will find a new pair of Reebok shoes (size 10) for Mohan. There are also 2 pairs of shoes for Radha's and Lakshmi's sons. Hope the sizes are correct.

Biji is wearing 6 American T-Shirts. The large size is for Mohan.Just distribute the rest among yourselves.

The 2 new Jeans that Biji is wearing are for the boys.

The Swiss watch that Reema wanted is on Biji's left wrist. Shanta masi, Biji is wearing the necklace,earrings and ring that you asked for. Please take them off her..

The 6 white cotton socks that Biji is wearing must be divided among my nephews.Please distribute all these fairly.

Love Neeta.

PS : If anything more required let me know soon as Bauji(father) is also not feeling too well nowadays... ......

Sent from my Q800 using Tapatalk

[Musky]

That was funny!

[dilip kumar]

I wanted our brothers to enjoy it. can you forward it bro to a forum where everybody is online

Sent from my Q800 using Tapatalk

[Musky]

It is in the proper forum, don't worry, everyone will see it eventually.

[timpin]

Did anyone else know there's a Mrs. Musky? ... found Mrs. M on page 1 - Hey Chuck, she's funnier than U! .... but then again she's married to y...err, never mind.