A good joke

[Keep Fighting]

[kejedo]

My neighbor called and asked me if I would sing and play at the funeral gravesite of a homeless man who had no family. Um, okay. I got lost for about an hour and by the time I got there, all attenders were gone but I saw the space open. Looked in and the vault looked closed.  Felt bad for the deceased and put down my keyboard, opened it and sang out, "Gone too soon."  The men there piled around and I thought everyone seemed moved. Thought: this was, perhaps an opportunity for contact cards. One man came over and said, "I've never seen this happen before and I've been digging toilet vaults  for years."

 

[Qapla]

[rocket]

A police officer called the station on his radio. "I have an intresting case here. An old lady shot her husband for stepping on the floor she just mopped."

"Have you arrested the woman?"

Spoiler

Not yet. The floor's still wet.

 

[Keep Fighting]

[rocket]

A man who made coffins was on his way to deliver one when his car broke down.  Not wanting to be late, he lifted the coffin onto his head and continued the journey on foot.  Along the way, some policemen stopped him and began questioning him. "Do you have a documents or a receipt?" Without thinking, the man replied, 
 

Spoiler

"I don't like the place where I was buried, so I decided to move." Within seconds, the policemen disappeared.

 

[dljbsp]

How many gorillas does it take to change a light bulb? 

 

Spoiler

Just one... But it takes about 50 light bulbs. 

 

[rocket]

How many Davids does it take to change a light bulb?

 

Spoiler

Two, one to stop the room from turning and one to change the bulb

 

Sorry David I couldn't help myself. 🙃

 

[rocket]

A man is sitting next to woman who is trying to breastfeed her baby on the bus. The baby refuses to eat, and mother says, 'if you don't eat, I'll give it to the man next to me.' The baby refuses again.  After 20 minutes, the mother repeats that she will give it to the man if she doesn't eat.  The man says,

Spoiler

'Hey, lady, you'd better make up your mind.  I was supposed to get off the bus six stops ago.'

 

[pnutts]

A Love Story.

A girl potato and a boy potato had eyes for each other and got married. They had a little sweet potato whom they named " Yam ". They loved her, and when the time was right they told her about the facts of life.

They warned her about going out and getting half-baked so she wouldn't get mashed and get a bad name for herself like "Hot Potato" and end up having a bunch of un-planned tator tots, but not sit at home and become a couch potato either, get plenty of exercise and not be a shoestring .

When she went to Europe they told her to watch out for the hard boiled guys from Ireland and the greasy ones from France.

When she went out west they warned her about the Indians so she wouldn't get scalloped.

She agreed to stay on the straight and narrow and not associate with those high class Yukon Golds, or the bad girls known as Frito Lays.

Mr. and Mrs.Potato sent Yam to Idaho P.U. ( Potato University ) with high hopes , but in spite of all they did for her she came home and announced she was marrying Tom Brokaw.

Mr. and Mrs. Potato were very upset and told Yam she couldn't possibly marry Tom Brokaw,

because he was just a ..................COMMON-TATOR!!

#TBJOTDHAYDEN.