A good joke

[Pabo]

A man buys an old, run-down Datsun.

But as he’s driving home it breaks down. He lifts the hood and after some thorough investigation, he notices that there’s a cog missing.

He calls a mechanic, but the mechanic tells the man that Datsun had gone out of business years ago and that he wouldn’t be able to find a replacement cog.

The mechanic suggests the man call Nissan, who had bought Datsun, and they now operate out of Japan.

So the man rings Nissan, “Hello? I’m looking to find a replacement cog for an old Datsun?” 

“Ah, yes” says the Nissan worker “We have these cogs, but we only have boxes of one thousand, and I’m afraid we can’t ship them”.

The man, determined to get his car working, flies all the way to Japan, collects his box of one thousand cogs, and flies back home.

While on the plane, the pilot comes on the intercom and tells the passengers that there is insufficient fuel to reach the airport.

“If you have any unimportant items, please throw them off the plane to decrease the weight, and we will be able to make it to the airport”.

As the passengers unload their things from the plane, the man carries his box of one thousand cogs to the plane door, taking one for his car.

Meanwhile, on the ground, two farmers are having a conversation, when suddenly cogs start falling from the sky.

“Well look at that” says one farmer to the other “It’s raining Datsun cogs!”

[Pabo]

On 2/19/2025 at 1:11 PM, rocket said:

A tough ole cowboy from Texas counseled his granddaughter that if she wanted to live a long life, the secret was to sprinkle a pinch of gunpower on her oatmeal every morning. The grandaughter did this religiously until the age of 103 when she died. She left behind 14 Children, 30 Grandchildren, 45 Great Grandchildren, 25 Great Great Grandchildren and

  Reveal hidden contents

a 40 foot hole where the Crematorium used to be.

 

 

Just before I die, I’m going to swallow a bag of popcorn kernels.
My cremation is going to be EPIC!!!

Edited February 23 by Pabo

[Pabo]

12 hours ago, Pabo said:

 

Just before I die, I’m going to swallow a bag of popcorn kernels.
My cremation is going to be EPIC!!!

 

Also, I will be requesting this song to be played when my casket is conveyed into the furnace.

 

 

[Mike047]

We have rubbish dumps specifically for people on sliming diets, at least, they must be because the sign outside says 'Waste Disposal Site'

[Tortuga]

7 hours ago, Mike047 said:

We have rubbish dumps specifically for people on sliming diets, at least, they must be because the sign outside says 'Waste Disposal Site'

I try to not let my food go to waist..

[MullumMiss]

On 2/24/2025 at 9:16 AM, Pabo said:

 

Just before I die, I’m going to swallow a bag of popcorn kernels.
My cremation is going to be EPIC!!!

Before my brother passed away 7 years ago he asked would we put corn to pop in his pockets......he was cremated.....we didn't though and I wonder will he ask us in the paradise🤦‍♂️

[MullumMiss]

On 2/24/2025 at 9:10 AM, Pabo said:

A man buys an old, run-down Datsun.

But as he’s driving home it breaks down. He lifts the hood and after some thorough investigation, he notices that there’s a cog missing.

He calls a mechanic, but the mechanic tells the man that Datsun had gone out of business years ago and that he wouldn’t be able to find a replacement cog.

The mechanic suggests the man call Nissan, who had bought Datsun, and they now operate out of Japan.

So the man rings Nissan, “Hello? I’m looking to find a replacement cog for an old Datsun?” 

“Ah, yes” says the Nissan worker “We have these cogs, but we only have boxes of one thousand, and I’m afraid we can’t ship them”.

The man, determined to get his car working, flies all the way to Japan, collects his box of one thousand cogs, and flies back home.

While on the plane, the pilot comes on the intercom and tells the passengers that there is insufficient fuel to reach the airport.

“If you have any unimportant items, please throw them off the plane to decrease the weight, and we will be able to make it to the airport”.

As the passengers unload their things from the plane, the man carries his box of one thousand cogs to the plane door, taking one for his car.

Meanwhile, on the ground, two farmers are having a conversation, when suddenly cogs start falling from the sky.

“Well look at that” says one farmer to the other “It’s raining Datsun cogs!”

Good thing no men jumped out otherwise they would be singing..........It's raining men! Hallelujah!
It's raining men! Amen!
I'm gonna go out to run and let myself get
Absolutely soaking wet!
It's raining men! Hallelujah!
It's raining men! Every specimen!
Tall, blonde, dark and lean
Rough and tough and strong and mean

[Wanda Hill]

LOVE that song!

 

[Pabo]

21 hours ago, MullumMiss said:

Good thing no men jumped out otherwise they would be singing..........It's raining men! Hallelujah!
It's raining men! Amen!
I'm gonna go out to run and let myself get
Absolutely soaking wet!
It's raining men! Hallelujah!
It's raining men! Every specimen!
Tall, blonde, dark and lean
Rough and tough and strong and mean

 

It is intetesting to note that the song was offered to Donna Summer first to record,  but she rejected it (she just become a Born-Again Christian and thought the song was blasphemy). It too was rejected by Diana Ross, Cher and Barbra Streisand, most probably due the lyrics. And if you read the lyrics carefully, there is a lot of double meanings and connotations in it.

[Cool.As.Ice]

10 years and 105 pages of jokes…I don’t even know where to start…

[Aria]

From the beginning 😬

[pnutts]

This isn't Genesis 1:1  where baseball is mentioned. "In the Big Inning" 🥴🤥 Start someplace else. 🤕 so you don't get hit by baseball. 😱

[Andrey]

[cdk.h5c]

A Jehovah's Witness asks a priest where in the Bible it says to worship a cross.

The priest replies:
"Look what it says in Psalms 35:11!"

 

Spoiler

Ps 35:11

Malicious witnesses come forward, Asking me things I know nothing about.

 

Edited March 2 by cdk.h5c

[Dolce vita]

20 minutes ago, cdk.h5c said:

A Jehovah's Witness asks a priest where in the Bible it says to worship a cross.

The priest replies:
"Look what it says in Psalms 35:11!"

 

  Hide contents

Ps 35:11

Malicious witnesses come forward, Asking me things I know nothing about.

 

And the Witness answers : Ps 36:2

[Timl1980]

I took a joke that someone had put on this site a while ago...and switched it up just a little:

 

What if🤔

 

What if Christendom decided to mimic Jehovah's people and hold a three day convention?

 

Day 1: Matthew 17:21

 

Day 2: Proverbs 24:33

 

Day 3: Acts 19:32

 

🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

[Percy]

On 3/2/2025 at 6:11 AM, Timl1980 said:

Day 3: Acts 19:32

Sounds like that new movie: "Conclave"

[Old]

I finally found out the difference between a black bear and a brown bear. If a black bear chases you up a tree it will climb the tree and eat you. If a brown bear chases you up a tree it will knock the tree down and eat you.

Good to know.

Edited Thursday at 10:28 PM by Old

[Qapla]

Edited Friday at 01:46 AM by Qapla

[Cool.As.Ice]

4 hours ago, Old said:

I finally found out the difference between a black bear and a brown bear. If a black bear chases you up a tree it will climb the tree and eat you. If a brown bear chases you up a tree it will knock the tree down and eat you.

Good to know.

And if a white bear chases you…

[Tortuga]

34 minutes ago, Cool.As.Ice said:

And if a white bear chases you…

...don't fall on your ice..

[rocket]

On 3/6/2025 at 7:04 PM, Cool.As.Ice said:

And if a white bear chases you…

 

You and swiss cheese will have something in common...

Spoiler

Holes