A good joke

[Lee49]

What do you do if you're afraid of elevators?

Spoiler

 Take steps to avoid them!

 

[bohemian]

A turkey was about to cross the road.

 

Suddenly a chicken stopped it and said: “Don’t do it!  You’ll never hear the end of it.”

[Lee49]

13 minutes ago, bohemian said:

A turkey was about to cross the road.

Spoiler

Why does a turkey cross the road? For some fowl reason of its own. “Why does a turkey cross the road?” asks a current card. The Answer: “To get to Mexico, where they don’t celebrate Thanksgiving.”

 

[Lee49]

Octopuses have 3 hearts and 9 brains, very intelligent!

Spoiler

 They're "smart suckers"

 

[Lee49]

Does your shoe have a hole in it?

Spoiler

 Of course, it's where your foot goes.

 

[Pjdriver]

On 11/13/2021 at 5:16 PM, Lee49 said:

  Hide contents

Why does a turkey cross the road? For some fowl reason of its own. “Why does a turkey cross the road?” asks a current card. The Answer: “To get to Mexico, where they don’t celebrate Thanksgiving.”

Why did the Turkey cross the road?

He didn’t want to called a chicken....  🐥

People say I’m condescending.   (That means I talk down to them)

[bohemian]

As I looked at my naked body in the mirror I realised….

 

I was probably going to get kicked out of the department store.

[Skye]

Found a plumber who works around the clock….but boy, ain’t I glad that he doesn’t work overtime 😰😰

[Qapla]

[Kiku]

In the dark, in a storm and heavy fog, a huge warship sees a light at sea. And the captain sends a message through the radio operators:

- Change course 20 degrees to the right to avoid collision.

From the radio comes the reply:

- I advise you to change YOUR course 20 degrees to the right to avoid a collision.

- This is the captain of the ship speaking. Repeat: Change your course immediately.

- No. I repeat: change course yourself.

At that moment, the captain is furious and yells into the radio room:

- This is the second-largest warship. We are accompanied by three cruisers, three destroyers and numerous support ships. I demand that you change your course 20 degrees to the right, or we will be forced to take necessary action!!!!

To him in reply:

- This is a lighthouse. Do what you want.

Lesson: Jehovah's principles are like this lighthouse. They are immovable, unchangeable! It is we who need to change our course, not Jehovah. God's commandments cannot be broken, we can only destroy ourselves if we don't keep them. God's commandments are indestructible! 😁

Edited November 28, 2021 by Kiku

[Kiku]

Sister asks: "Brother, can I pray in my night shirt?"
Brother: "If you have doubts, you can wear a tie." 

[Kiku]

A brother gives advice about helping sick brothers and sisters who are in the hospital: "...we could bring them something good to eat... Or an interesting magazine, like a magazine about the resurrection..."

[Kiku]

(at the bus stop) "Hello! I'm glad to find you at home...".

[bohemian]

**Breaking News**Breaking News...

A lorry load of toupees of have been stolen in Hertfordshire. The Police are combing the area.

 

 

 

From The Uxbridge English Dictionary:

twig, n. Yorkshire Toupee

 

 

 

Police are searching for a man that broke into a confectionery shop and stole all the chocolate bars.

Detectives say there is a bounty on his head.

Edited November 28, 2021 by bohemian

[Lee49]

2 hours ago, bohemian said:

Detectives say there is a bounty on his head.

So, what's the "bounty" ?

A years worth of "Hershey bars"

 

[rocket]

21 hours ago, Lee49 said:

So, what's the "bounty" ?

A years worth of "Hershey bars"

 

[Lee49]

Why should you not pamper a cow?

Spoiler

 You'll get spoiled milk.

 

[bohemian]

[bohemian]

[bohemian]

[Qapla]

[bohemian]

What is the best gift for a bald-headed man?
 

A comb.

He’ll never part with it.

[Qapla]

Edited December 5, 2021 by Qapla

[Sheep]

42 minutes ago, Qapla said:

Yeah. Me too.

[bohemian]

Lawyers4Us say, "If you're forced to wear a face mask and glasses, remember, you can claim condensation."

 

 

 

 

 

Edited December 8, 2021 by bohemian