A good joke

[Tortuga]

That means you are saying that Californians are Stupid!

Smart enough to pass you!

[Precision]

California stops are just a legend, we obey the traffic laws just like everyone else....

 

Motorcycles can legally pass vehicles under certain circumstances and opening your vehicle door as they pass you is never a good idea so I assume you are jesting..

 

I know, If  that was the case I would have lost my doors a long time ago. Here people can flip U-turns legally in the intersections. And they have drive by liquor stores, but yet they some of the strictest open container and DUI laws in the nation!  Each state have their quirky laws, it's just the first time shocker that gets to you!  

[Precision]

Don't forget the bridge washout on hwy 10. Californians say "What washout? That's just a bit bigger pothole than normal." :censored:   :pistols:

 

Yeah and the price of gas shot up 12-15 cents a gallon overnight!  What does a bridge washout have to do with fuel prices? Most of the refined product here moves from the Long Beach refineries and El Paso to be blended.

[pnutts]

Smart enough to pass you!

You mean stupid enough!

My wife was driving down the mountain where 30 mph is fast enough ( she was born in California, thus was going faster ) and this idiot woman from the city tailgated wanting past on hairpin turns with 1000 foot drop 2 feet from edge of pavement ( some areas did have guardrails, not all - a minor improvement )

 

Woman's kids were not even wearing seat belts,  not front nor back seat

 

Yup California drivers are stupid, especially city women.

Not 1st experience with these drivers, another one years ago on road going from Lake Elsinore over to coast.

[Tortuga]

You mean stupid enough!

My wife was driving down the mountain where 30 mph is fast enough ( she was born in California, thus was going faster ) and this idiot woman from the city tailgated wanting past on hairpin turns with 1000 foot drop 2 feet from edge of pavement ( some areas did have guardrails, not all - a minor improvement )

 

Woman's kids were not even wearing seat belts,  not front nor back seat

 

Yup California drivers are stupid, especially city women.

Not 1st experience with these drivers, another one years ago on road going from Lake Elsinore over to coast.

 

She was probably a Canadian in a rental, we get a lot of those and they give California a bad reputation...

[pnutts]

She was probably a Canadian in a rental, we get a lot of those and they give California a bad reputation...

No she wasn't from Toronto ( immigrant driver heaven, or maybe it's the other place - which is why most from other nations No Longer automatically get a full driver's permit )

She was from San Diego, according to license plate holder and bumper stickers. She turned that way off 74.

[Tortuga]

No she wasn't from Toronto ( immigrant driver heaven, or maybe it's the other place - which is why most from other nations No Longer automatically get a full driver's permit )

She was from San Diego, according to license plate holder and bumper stickers. She turned that way off 74.

 

Ohh...Southern California. That's different. 

[Precision]

Ask a Californian if they think they are good drivers...they will all tell you "The Best" Like asking a hardened convict if he is innocent !

 

We rented a car awhile back and went up the coastal Hi way 1/101. we were flipped off twice, we did absolutely nothing wrong...honest! It finally donned on us , the rental car had California plates!  

 

Are there some who are aggressive  ? Are they bad drivers ?  I guess it depends on who you ask. Some have been known to dodge major earthquakes, catastrophic wildfires, drive byes, other aggressive drivers, sand storms, and multi-tasking texters. 

[Tortuga]

We rented a car awhile back and went up the coastal Hi way 1/101. we were flipped off twice, 

 

Tourist!

 

 

[Precision]

Tourist!

 

 

 

You don't want to get me started on the Canadiens  

[Tortuga]

We rented a car awhile back and went up the coastal Hi way 1/101. we were flipped off twice, we did absolutely nothing wrong...honest! It finally donned on us , the rental car had California plates!  

 

I know we are getting off topic but I've heard the same thing from people in other areas that had rental cars with California plates. In my opinion, people from other areas that visit California will usually go to the most popular tourist areas and large cities. It's no surprise that a person not familiar with the area may not be properly received by the locals. The same thing probably happens everywhere. I was driving in Boston one time and several people informed me through hand signals their IQ was lower than expected.

[Precision]

I know we are getting off topic but I've heard the same thing from people in other areas that had rental cars with California plates. In my opinion, people from other areas that visit California will usually go to the most popular tourist areas and large cities. It's no surprise that a person not familiar with the area may not be properly received by the locals. The same thing probably happens everywhere. I was driving in Boston one time and several people informed me through hand signals their IQ was lower than expected.

 

HAH !!!     

[kejedo]

HAH !!!     

I used to drive through Boston to work every day. Now I hate driving Boston.  So I have to tell a few jokes that Bostonians understand. Okay, we use directionals, not turn signals, a roundabout is a rotary, a water fountain is a bubblah. People think we drop our  'R's, but we just move them around, ex. from word endin(g)s to word blendin(g)s, like rawreggs.  You can hear the G at the end of egg,but not so much when used in the suffix 'ing'.  A liquor store is a packie (because things were brown bagged and looked like packages), ice cream sprinkles are called jimmies (probably from the Jimmy Fund). Hard roles are called bulkies (and in some places if angled at ends, they are called spuckies, but not on the south shore. MOst peope no longer call carbonated beverages 'tonic' anymore, but I believe there is one store which has a sign with arrows which point to tonic and diet tonic. A milk shake with ice cream in it is called a frappe (pronounced frap.) An exclusive neighborhood of Newton had it's own slang. EX: Go downda conna, there's some quishta jibbles, mush. last 3 words = pretty girls, dude. Onna conna was different from onna cowna. I was late gettin onna conna, on a cowna I hadda do somethin faw my muthah.

Edited July 28, 2015 by kejedo

[MizPeg]

I didn't understand this one... Your game of chess has chariots... And elefants?

Well, India does have elephants, and at one time I imagine chariots were the preferred battle wagons.

[pnutts]

You don't want to get me started on the Canadiens  

You must be talking about French Canadiens, eh? Since that is how you spelled it, the french way

[Old]

I was visiting my daughter last night when I asked if I
could borrow a newspaper.
"This is the 21st century" she said."We don't waste money on newspapers. Here, use myiPad."


I can tell you this... that freaking fly never knew what hit him...

[dilip kumar]

This words are true....

Sent to me by my wife....

Sent from my C6802 using Tapatalk

[dilip kumar]

Awarded as Best Joke

A Chinese walks into a bar in America late one night and he saw Steven Spielberg.

As he was a great fan of his movies, he rushes over to him, and asks for his autograph.

Instead, Spielberg gives him a slap and says, "You Chinese people bombed our Pearl Harbour, get outta here."

The astonished Chinese man replied, "It was not the Chinese who bombed your Pearl Harbour, it was the Japanese".

"Chinese, Japanese, Taiwanese, you're all the same," replied Spielberg.

In return, the Chinese gives Spielberg a slap and says, "You sank the Titanic, my forefathers were on that ship."

Shocked, Spielberg replies, "It was the iceberg that sank the ship, not me."

The Chinese replies, "Iceberg, Spielberg, Carlsberg, you're all the same."

(This particular joke won an award for the best joke in a competition organized in Britain)

[dilip kumar]

Sardar joke

*Sugar Test* *

[dilip kumar]

A sardar is a person who are from the state of Punjab in india. In india normally jokes are cracked on them. But they are good at heart and very intelligent too. Example the previous prime minister of India Dr. Manmohan Singh.

Sent from my C6802 using Tapatalk

[kejedo]

Amazingly Simple Home Remedies

 

1. If you are choking on an ice cube simply pour a cup of boiling water down your throat. Presto! The blockage will instantly remove itself. 

2. Avoid cutting yourself slicing vegetables by getting someone else to hold while you chop. 

3. Avoid arguments with the Mrs. about lifting the toilet seat by using the sink. 

4. For high blood pressure sufferers: simply cut yourself and bleed for a few minutes, thus reducing the pressure in your veins. Remember to use a timer. 

5. A mouse trap, placed on top of your alarm clock, will prevent you from rolling over and going back to sleep after you hit the snooze button. 

6. If you have a bad cough, take a large dose of laxatives, then you will be afraid to cough. 

7. You only need two tools in life - WD-40 and Duct Tape. If it doesn't move and should, use the WD-40. If it shouldn't move and does, use the duct tape. 

8. Remember: Everyone seems normal until you get to know them. 

Daily Thought: SOME PEOPLE ARE LIKE SLINKIES. NOT REALLY GOOD FOR ANYTHING BUT THEY BRING A SMILE TO YOUR FACE WHEN PUSHED DOWN THE STAIRS.

[dilip kumar]

Enjoyed sis. You are not well but still you brought a big smile on our face. Thank you.

By the way what is the meaning of wd-40

Sent from my C6802 using Tapatalk

[kejedo]

WD-40 is the trademark name of a penetrating oil and water-displacing spray.

[Qapla]

WD-40, abbreviated from the phrase "Water Displacement, 40th formula", indicating it was the 40th formula the chemists tried before finding success. The product was originally designed to repel water and prevent corrosion on the Atlas space rocket, and later was found to have numerous household uses.

 

In is now a widely used lubricant and penetrant as diverse in it's use as is the Duct Tape - for instance, many sport fishermen use it to spray on their artificial worms to attract fish.

[Tortuga]

If you have a bad cough, take a large dose of laxatives, then you will be afraid to cough. 

 

 

I actually used that in a meeting with some instrumentation engineers to illustrate that a solution is not always the right solution just because it works. It is important to not only get the answer but to get the right answer.