Do you believe in soul mate? Did God intend people to find soul mates?

[Naturale]

18 hours ago, Lewis said:

I think largely too, we need to read into body language and try to understand the nonverbal signals of attraction. Major part of our communication comes through body language, i think I remember the percentage was like 68% that we use body language to send signals, this was from a communications course that I took years ago. 

The trouble with body language is that a person may feel somewhat inhibited if it is at a meeting or an assembly.  They be shy or awkward so that they don't even smile freely at someone because they are aware that other people are watching.

[Cushi]

49 minutes ago, EccentricM said:

It's funny how some of us have different thoughts when rejected. For me it's the opposite, and when I'm rejected I'm afraid she thinks there is something wrong with my personality, or that she may see me as unspiritual, or othwise "odd" somehow to her.

Yes, I would think that if a sister rejected me that she doesn’t like my personality or the way I carry myself.

[Hope]

Coz you guys know that sisters don't judge brothers on their looks... 😉   

[JennyM]

On 4/16/2019 at 10:00 PM, M'Awan said:

True, as Jenny M told me,  2 of her close friends married westerners and they were far from happy. Like what Brother Alan said, many flee to the West in search of a better life but instead faced a different set of problems. Many became very haughty and refused to associate with the local sisters. 

They key is acceptance to the culture  Before, I was shocked to the American/English culture.. Its too direct.. 

In contrast, in Japan..They are  very careful not to offend their listeners, the same many Asian culture...  But I observed, that theres also good in that culture.. 

 

Our magazines say that there's no perfect culture.. Just embrace the good side of it.. 

 

So if two are in different cultures, extra effort is needed. But their gonna be happy.. Im always serious all the time  due to my profession so Im attracted to someone who smiles a lot and have simple joy in their lives. 

[JennyM]

On 4/18/2019 at 5:13 AM, Brother Jack said:

 

The reason why I want Jehovah to pick a wife for me is because he knows me better than anyone else and knows my taste. If he picks her she will be spiritually minded, extremely beautiful and will be perfectly compatible with me. I’ll just have to wait on Jehovah. I’m willing to wait as long as it takes, whether it’s right away in the new world or decades later. I don’t see the point of rushing to get married if it’s going to be a permanent union. I just have to make it to the new world 🙂

you can still marry today.. Like marrying  a spiritual sister but imperfect sister.. .. She'll be extremely beautiful in the new world.. 😀...

We'll Jehovah knows what we need.. Single or married.. both are gifts. 

[JennyM]

On 4/18/2019 at 3:58 AM, Brother Jack said:

I never dance with sisters at gatherings because some will think you’re trying to marry them lol

I also never talk to brothers in the congregation when it is not necessary.. They might think that Im so desperate to marry. 

[JennyM]

On 4/16/2019 at 10:00 PM, M'Awan said:

True, as Jenny M told me,  2 of her close friends married westerners and they were far from happy. Like what Brother Alan said, many flee to the West in search of a better life but instead faced a different set of problems. Many became very haughty and refused to associate with the local sisters. 

 

Not in my congregations.. They're very generous because they have this pioneering spirit... They share what they have..I don't have a car and I can ride in bros and sis'  cars.. You can't see In the world, it's all about competition on what you have and on what you don't have. this unity in the world.

 

Humble sisters who are married to well-off brothers don't wear flashy clothes to mix with the locals so I feel comfortable with them. Like Jesus, we know he is the 2nd highest person in the world but he rides in a donkey. Hes not an assuming person because he wasn't been enthroned as a king at that time. 

 

[JennyM]

On 4/18/2019 at 7:21 AM, carlos said:

I guess every person is different. Some brothers will be attracted to a sister who takes the initiative, others won't. There is not a formula that works with everybody.

I agree. My brother was married to a sister who courted him.. 😀

[Naturale]

5 hours ago, JennyM said:

I also never talk to brothers in the congregation when it is not necessary.. They might think that Im so desperate to marry. 

This is the thing about congregations as you say that  sisters can end up not being able have any communication with a bro cos they or someone else may think exactly that and that  they are chasing them :/   One conversation and rumours abound.

Edited April 19, 2019 by Naturale

[Naturale]

So if I get this right ... men hate you to initiate a conversation or to appear to follow them and then talk to them.  They do like it if you smile at them from afar.  The thing with that in the cong is that everyone would see that smile.  It could be that you just boost the guys ego and embarrass yourself.   For sisters who are more than 21 trying to date someone in the truth can be near impossible. If you are friendly then he and everyone else thinks you are desperate so the alternative is to be unfriendly

Edited April 19, 2019 by Naturale

[EccentricM]

I don't mind either way. Courting is courting. Whoever makes the first move or in whatever way, all the same to me, end goal is the main focus, being together! If I'm not interested, I'll just act as a friend and won't intitate further contact other than "general greetings", and maybe even throw in a "I'll find someone out there some day" in some conversation about dating, if they were ever overly persistent and didn't get the message.

 

I've also taken the intitative, though I hate it when false signals are given. A couple of years ago I liked a sister in our hall, so I wanted to know her better just as a friend. My tactic was.. If I become the friend of her friends, then I'll be able to ease into their group discussions easier (which was hard, because it's an all girl group and men are pretty much excluded, but that didn't put me off). However I also "glanced" at the girl I was interested in now and again, smiled, just to indicate I'm at least interested in social interaction. And I think it became obvious, because of course I tried to have a lot of conversations with her, and I "never" hung out with this group of sisters in all the history of my time on this planet 😄 So clearly, they could all "sense" something was going on.

 

Over time she did smile back and look at me now and again, so I thought "great", then you see her whisper to her friends when looking at you, and smiling at you "even better!" You think. So I try to interact with her more over time at meetings, but.. then she goes cold, I think to myself "is she playing hard to get? Is she just shy?" so, I pressed anyway, only one way to find out.

 

But I then find out through a family member, that they were told by "another sister" to pass on a message that she's not interested, before anything got anywhere! Didn't even get to befriend her. Which was very dissapointing and soul crushing. Because I had a real infatuation with this girl. So, I just, eased off and didn't interact with her at all, apart from a greeting when going by. I did ask her if she was "alright" once, because I hoped I didn't annoy her or make her feel intimidated in anyway. But she seemed fine. Of course after that I'm standing in a different group of people, weeell away from her, and between the group of us there is plenty of space to stand, she only comes and stands shoulder to shoulder with me in this group from nowhere... I was so puzzled, but I didn't take it as anything, lol.

 

But since then there has been nothing, I've not tried anything, I thought if she's ever interested, I already took interest, you come "to me" now.

Edited April 19, 2019 by EccentricM

[Thesauron]

 
I tend to believe that even in the New World, Jehovah will continue to allow us to make our own choices regarding mates.  He arranged VERY few marriages in the Bible - Adam's, Isaac's, maybe Ruth's? Everyone else pretty much married whomever they wished, for better or worse, including even Jesus' parents, since they were engaged before Mary was pregnant.  I'm not sure that the belief that Jehovah has mates picked out for us quite holds water. He is not a celestial matchmaker...  
 
What we *can* pray for in this system and the next is for maturity, soundness and clarity of mind, maybe a "fleece test" to be sure in our hearts about someone. And to be the sort of person another would choose, one that would enhance their life just like we hope they will enhance ours.  Then live a life, make ourselves available to be where spiritual men and women are, do what they're doing and we'll more likely find someone that we could imagine life with.  Jehovah gives us all the tools required to measure and become a good mate; we just have to use those tools and trust the process.  I don't see that really changing that much - ever.
 
But... I could be wrong    ‍

It seems very few marriages in the Bible came to be because two youngsters fell in love. It was much more common for parents to arrange for a suitable marriage mate. Or, in the case of people with some power, politics decided. It is quite likely that Mary and Joseph’s parents had come to some agreement. We do know something about that marriage - they knew each other beforehand, and Joseph might even have liked Mary. (Mt 1:19) This wasn’t always the case. It is said about Mary that she was “promised in marriage” (Mt 1:18; Lu 1:27), so Joseph’s parents would probably have paid a bride price to Mary’s parents. (Ge 24:53; Ho 3:2) After that ceremony they were legally tied to one another.

I personally find a sister taking the initiative a little emasculating because the sister is taking on the role I’m supposed to be doing.

Does it threaten your masculinity?

[JennyM]

3 hours ago, Naturale said:

This is the thing about congregations as you say that  sisters can end up not being able have any communication with a bro cos they or someone else may think exactly that and that  they are chasing them 😕   One conversation and rumours abound.

We have this smart elder  in my previous congregation. He put all the singles in one service group so that they have time to talk to each other. 

 

In our culture, the bros observe sisters from a distance.. Then if they approach you, asking for a date what's on his mind is marriage... No beating around the bush...  But in western culture, I think they date many times... 

 

Well its different culture in every congregation....

Better to pray to Jah for  guidance.....

 

 

[JennyM]

1 hour ago, EccentricM said:

I don't mind either way. Courting is courting. Whoever makes the first move or in whatever way, all the same to me, end goal is the main focus, being together! If I'm not interested, I'll just act as a friend and won't intitate further contact other than "general greetings", and maybe even throw in a "I'll find someone out there some day" in some conversation about dating, if they were ever overly persistent and didn't get the message.

 

 

good point bro..  In Jehovah's eyes, theres no impartiality .. no Greek or Jews... No Male or females.. -----Hebrew-----

 

But  a woman is created for man.---- the bible says... ... When it comes to relationship, I would appreciate if men take the initiative...

 

 

[Naturale]

19 minutes ago, JennyM said:

But  a woman is created for man.---- the bible says... ... When it comes to relationship, I would appreciate if men take the initiative...

Yeah so would I!  Hence why I'm single.

[JennyM]

2 minutes ago, Naturale said:

Yeah so would I!  Hence why I'm single.

I received different approaches.. 2 brothers just flirted.. and I didn't like it.. He stuck his one leg  beside me in the meeting.. I thought  to myself if he really likes me then he should be decent. 

I also received from unbaptized, too young and too old...

 

It's strange... You like someone = He doesn't like you .....  He likes you = you don't like him...

[Naturale]

12 minutes ago, JennyM said:

I received different approaches.. 2 brothers just flirted.. and I didn't like it.. He stuck his one leg  beside me in the meeting.. I thought  to myself if he really likes me then he should be decent. 

He only had one leg?

[Cushi]

3 hours ago, Thesauron said:Does it threaten your masculinity?

How come you always have something critical to say to me. Every time I see you quoted me in a thread I’m like uh oh, let’s see what he has to say now  Of course not. I’m very secure within my manhood. I was simply saying that I find the act itself emasculating, not that it threatens my masculinity. Just like you can find something somebody says rude without it actually offending you.

[Cushi]

1 minute ago, Brother Jack said:

How come you always have something critical to say to me. Every time I see you quoted me in a thread I’m like uh oh, let’s see what he has to say now  Of course not. I’m very secure within my manhood. I was simply saying that I find the act itself emasculating, not that it threatens my masculinity. Just like you can find something somebody says rude without it actually offending you.

 

3 hours ago, Thesauron said:

Does it threaten your masculinity?

That’s what I meant to quote. Not sure why it didn’t show up.

[Cushi]

12 hours ago, JennyM said:

you can still marry today.. Like marrying  a spiritual sister but imperfect sister.. .. She'll be extremely beautiful in the new world.. 😀...

We'll Jehovah knows what we need.. Single or married.. both are gifts. 

Thanks but I’m determined to marry in the new world. I’d rather wait until there’s more sisters to chose from. There’s no sisters I’m interested in in my congregation and I’m not going to go from congregation to congregation looking for a sister. I can wait. I do plan on marrying an “imperfect sister” in the new world. Before the 1000 years are over 🙂

[carlos]

16 minutes ago, Brother Jack said:

How come you always have something critical to say to me. Every time I see you quoted me in a thread I’m like uh oh, let’s see what he has to say now  Of course not. I’m very secure within my manhood. I was simply saying that I find the act itself emasculating, not that it threatens my masculinity. Just like you can find something somebody says rude without it actually offending you.

Please, this kind of conversation is better by PM, the Scriptural way to resolve issue between Christians.

[Cushi]

8 minutes ago, carlos said:

Please, this kind of conversation is better by PM, the Scriptural way to resolve issue between Christians.

Yes, you’re right 

[Thesauron]

That’s what I meant to quote. Not sure why it didn’t show up.

I’m sorry. It wasn’t indeed to be rude.

[JennyM]

10 hours ago, Naturale said:

He only had one leg?

Nope. We just sat  side by side. 

 

[Beaugeste]

Sorry to be late. I'm new to this forum and am only just seeing this question.  But I'd like to contribute my bit to the confusion.

 

The mating dance is so-o timeless not to mention universal.  Even the animals seem to have their version of "does she, doesn't she. "With the common shortage of men it's more often does He, doesn't He.

 

It's sad to see the situation with the aspirants for the marriage state at times. Sometimes the confusion in youthful hearts makes me glad to be "old" and delegated to the sidelines, an interested bystander.

 

Do I believe in finding one's soulmate? Yes. Do I believe that was what Jehovah intended? Yes!

 

At this point I need to explain that I really don't know, (but will investigate) what is actually meant by the expression soul mate and how it is generally understood.  Because the expression strikes a chord in me and evokes a tender response I will share what I take it to mean and why I personally find it to be desirable even now.

 

When a person truly becomes "one flesh" with another , being united in mind, flesh and deed, they are soul mates. That was Jehovah's intention for his human creation.

 

At first they are merely marriage mates but with time ,effort and Jehovah's blessings they develop into soul mates. Eternity is not guaranteed because hearts can change at any time and in any circumstance.

 

Is Jehovah instrumental in this?  I believe he would be if you let him.  Abraham's servant prayed for a suitable wife for his master's son. He even asked for a demonstration of the qualities that were most important.  Jehovah was very responsive as we all know.

 

I am noticing that the psalmist says that Jehovah is opening his hand to satisfy the desire (singular) of every living thing (plants and animals inclusive?).

 

The greatest desire universal to all intelligent life is to be happy, I believe. I trust Jehovah knows how to make us so more than we know by ourselves.  So we must trust him.

 

At 67 years of age I am content and at my most happy time of life.  Will I one day find my "soulmate"?  Why not? I would like the experience and if that would make me happier Jehovah will make it possible.  Does it matter when?  Not really although I would prefer it in the new system.