Grieving the loss of a pet

[daydream]

https://iheartdogs.com/this-is-why-dogs-never-die/

When you think your dog has died, it has really just fallen asleep in the world and now lives in your heart. And by the way, it is wagging its tail madly, you see, and that is why your chest hurts so much and you cry all the time. Who would not cry with a happy dog wagging its tail in their chest? Ouch! Wap, wap, wap, wap, wap, that hurts. But they only wag because they are so happy to be so close to you.

 

Whenever they wake up in your heart they wag their tail. After a few dog years, they sleep for longer periods of time and you will too. They were a GOOD DOG all their life and you both know it. It gets tiring being a good dog all the time, particularly when you get old and your bones hurt and you fall on your face and don’t want to go outside to pee when it is raining but they do because they are a good dog. So understand that after they have been sleeping in your heart, they will sleep longer and longer.

But don’t get fooled. They are not “dead”. There is no such thing, really. They are sleeping in your heart and when they wake up, usually when you are not expecting it. It is just who they are.

I feel sorry for people who don’t have dogs sleeping in their heart. They miss so much. Excuse me, I have to go cry now.”

 

https://www.popsci.com/pet-death-grief#page-3

 

The experts I talked to emphasized that our relationship to pet loss has changed over the last century. “It’s not surprising to me that we feel such grief over the loss of a pet, because in this country at least they are increasingly considered family members,” says Leslie Irvine, a sociologist at the University of Colorado-Boulder.  And depending on the relationship, the loss of a pet can be more traumatic than the grief we feel after the death of family and friends. In part, this is because pets share some of our most intimate relationships—we see them every day, they depend on us, we adjust our lives around their needs—and yet publically grieving their loss is not socially acceptable.

We haven’t always felt this way, though. As a society, Irvine says, we’ve moved from thinking of pets as accessories or mindless pieces of furniture to thinking, feeling beings.

Edited June 8, 2019 by M'Awan

[daydream]

https://psychcentral.com/lib/grieving-the-loss-of-a-pet/

Why Are the Feelings So Painful?

When we are grieving the loss of a beloved pet, we are actually mourning several losses at the same time. These include:

• The loss of unconditional love: Our pets provide us with emotional responses that are uninhibited by concern for how their expression appears to others. Many of our human relationships aren’t that simple; they can be riddled with anxiety about rejection and other fears that often dictate how we behave and what we share. Our pets do not judge insecurity or imperfection. They are all-accepting in ways few humans can achieve.
• The loss of a protégé
• The loss of a “life witness”: Not only do our animals provide us with their uninhibited emotional expression, but they also allow us to express parts of ourselves that we may never let other humans see. They observe our weaknesses, our victories, and move through years of our lives with us. During periods of upheaval, they often provide us with security, stability and comfort.
• The loss of multiple relationships and routines: Each role that the pet occupied (e.g., friend, child, significant other) as well as each role that we as owners took on is a loss. We must say goodbye to feeding time, walking routes, and all the aspects that made up our practical routines. We must not only say goodbye to the physical activities, but to the reflexive way we called to our companion when we wanted comfort and love. These goodbyes all contribute to the time and patience needed to grieve the loss of a pet.
• The loss of a primary companion: For some of us, our pet was our only social companion in the world. We may not have had any other close contacts, due perhaps to depression, anxiety, or a debilitating physical illness. We relied exclusively on our pet for support and love.

[daydream]

https://www.rover.com/blog/heartwarming-dog-stories/

Quote

 

Ben created this beautiful video documenting their friendship from Denali’s point of view. His film is a perfect encapsulation of the profound love that grows between a man and his dog

 

Edited November 16, 2020 by Mclove

[jwzhang]

Thank you for this post @daydream.
Although I never owned a dog, my wife and I had very similar feelings of grief after losing our pet rabbit Fluffy.
He was such a good pet and brought my wife much comfort while we had him.

We laughed a lot and then cried a lot after he passed away in our arms, sometimes when I'm out and about I still randomly think of him which tugs at my heartstrings (e.g. when I buy blueberries because those were Fluffy's favorite)

 

We didn't get a new pet after Fluffy but cherish the memories we had with him!
Like the post says, sometimes losing a pet is even harder than losing a loved one