A good joke

[Keep Fighting]

[kejedo]

On 9/9/2025 at 9:06 PM, rocket said:

I don't procrastinate.  I intentionally wait until the last minute because then I will be older, and therefore wiser.

 

Bill Underwood

I try to anticrastinate.

[rocket]

My wife, on one of her rare visits to London had a credit card stolen. I monitored the use of the card. and I have to say, I didn't report it to the Police because the Thief was spending less than she was.

[just1-4all]

[rocket]

The teacher ask the class to draw pictures of their favorite Bible stories. She was puzzled by little Johnny's picture which showed four people on an aircraft, so she ask him which story it was meant to represent. "The flight to Egypt," little Johnny replied. "I see... and that must be Mary, Joseph and baby Jesus," she said. "But who's the fourth person?"

Spoiler

"Oh that's Pontius-the Pilot!"

 

Edited October 25 by rocket

[rocket]

My wife had a doctor's appointment this morning. She said to the doctor, "My husband constantly talks in his sleep, what can I do about it?"  Doctor replies, " Give him a chance to speak during the daytime."

[Pabo]

6 hours ago, rocket said:

My wife had a doctor's appointment this morning. She said to the doctor, "My husband constantly talks in his sleep, what can I do about it?"  Doctor replies, " Give him a chance to speak during the daytime."

 

[MullumMiss]

8 hours ago, Pabo said:

 

That looks like Casey Donavan long ago before her weight loss……

[rocket]

A woman was found guilty in traffic court and when asked for her occupation she said she was a school teacher.  The Judge rose from the bench. "Madam, I have waited years for a school teacher to appear before this court."  He smiled with delight.  Now sit down at the table and write,

Spoiler

"I will not run a red light five hundred times."

 

[rocket]

Young Police Officer to elderly female driver: "Do you know why I pulled you over?"
Driver:  "No, I was going exactly the speed limit, 22 MPH."
Officer: "Ma'am,that's not the speed limit, that's the route number.
Driver:  "My goodness, I thought I was being so careful."
Officer: "Try to keep up with the speed limit, alright."
Driver,   "Thank you officer."
Officer,  "By the way, is everyone in the car OK?"
Driver,

Spoiler

"They'll be fine in a minute, we just got off route 119."

 

[dljbsp]

2 hours ago, rocket said:

"They'll be fine in a minute,

 The scene of the crime:  https://maps.app.goo.gl/9amC9nS5ZT5wMWb47

 

[Percy]

2 hours ago, dljbsp said:

 The scene of the crime:  https://maps.app.goo.gl/9amC9nS5ZT5wMWb47

That confirms the story is TRUE!!! Hahaha

[Keep Fighting]

[rocket]

Elderly Driver to Police Officer, "Yesterday you pulled me over  saying I was speeding, today because I don't have this seatbelt snug enough and tomorrow... what you gonna stop me cause my tires don't have enough air?" Officer LAUGHING saying: "I can't promise I won't."

[Mike047]

And it came to pass in the days of congestion, that a certain driver did exceed the bounds of the speed limit.
And lo, a policeman appeared, girded with radar and clipboard.
And he spake unto the driver, saying, “Verily, thou hast transgressed the ordinance of 30 miles per hour.”
And the driver answered, “But I was late unto my appointment, and the spirit of haste was upon me.”
And the policeman replied, “Thou shalt not make haste unto thy own peril, nor tempt the traffic gods.”
And he wrote upon a scroll, and gave it unto the driver, saying, “This citation shall be a sign unto thee. Repent, and go not above 30 again.”

[rocket]

A woman returned home to find someone robbing it. She yelled, "Stop! Acts 2:38!"   He stopped in his tracts.  She called the police and explained what was going on.  As the officer cuffed the man he asked, "Why did you just stand there? All the lady did was yell a Bible Verse." "Bible Verse?" said the burglar,  "She said she had an Axe and two 38's"

[rocket]

I asked my wife, "What's for dinner?"
She said, "Nothing"
I said, "I had that last night"
She said, "I know I made enough for 2 nights."