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So question to all you sisters


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Recently I was thinking about work and one of the gards that work there
We were talking I had said I was still living at home her comment to was oh your one of those
At the time I just dis missed but looking back every time the subject came up women have treated me
Like I had the pledge or something. It got me thinking

 

1 why is there a stigma about a man living at home with mom or dad or both
2 why will a women go out with a man faster when he not living at home
Then if he is

 

 

not if this need to be deleted then do so 

 

My carecosaty got the best of me

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The mentality of the world is that if a man lives at home into his 30's and on ... that he is still in subjection to his parents - in particular his momma, and women think that any relationship the mother will come before her.

They will see it as a threat to being a couple and also coupled with the uncertainty of whether the man is able to stand on his own two feet and provide for her - not just monetry but handling responsibilities in general.

In the truth though, brothers show their worth in how hard they work in the congregation and how they treat others, it is guaged differently I think. My husband was at home until almost 30 ... and he is a great provider, hard worker and loves Jehovah and the congregation very much.

Don't you be worrying about how women treat you my dear brother you just need that ONE special one who will love you with all her heart, and one day - she will be there, whether in this system or the next.

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Recently I was thinking about work and one of the gards that work there

We were talking I had said I was still living at home her comment to was oh your one of those

At the time I just dis missed but looking back every time the subject came up women have treated me

Like I had the pledge or something. It got me thinking

 

1 why is there a stigma about a man living at home with mom or dad or both

2 why will a women go out with a man faster when he not living at home

Then if he is

 

 

not if this need to be deleted then do so 

 

My carecosaty got the best of me

 

 This tells me that you are not married. When you do, you deserve what is coming to you and that is everything that comes along with marriage. Marriage is a gift from God.

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If I may please, I think it would depend on why the man was living at home. Is it in order to give more to Jehovah and the congregation? Does the man have a job? Is this a temporary situation due to circumstances? Part of being a man is to handle responsibilities. If a man is living at home to avoid his natural role, then that is not a good sign. If the man is responsible in spiritual matters, but does not handle household responsibilities, then a sister should give that careful consideration. Is she ready to accept what that situation entails? Everyone has baggage, and we must weigh the long term ramifications of our choices and be prepared to live with them, especially if it is a life-long commitment.

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Sandra---I really think you pegged it!!! Why is the man still at home? If the man is of the worldly view I am guilty of summing him up to be either a mamas boy, lazy, or immature with issues. And I honestly believe this is quite accurate. I believe this becomes a common way of thinking because in more times than not it is true. I still must have a lot of that old thinking in me because I would find it a definite turn off if I were single in the Truth. My husband was on his own the day he graduated high school. It was to get out from under his parents rule---translated: party time! I admired my husband when his father died and he stepped up to the plate of caring for his mother. But after living with us for 1 year (I had just learned the Truth and was newly baptized) or she never would have lasted that long. She was subtly domineering and demanded the full attention of her son. We could not even go to dinner alone without her being with us. I saw how kind he was to his mother which impressed me for awhile---then became frustrated because of the time she demanded he spent with her. I saw first hand how being put in between your mother and wife was difficult for him and he started drinking again---which she moved out and with her daughter three days and 1500 miles later. Only time ever I was thankful my husband drank! The elder that talked with my husband and I used the scripture Richard quoted. He pointed out she was physically in excellent strength, had no money problems, really enjoyed her sons attention and was jealous of me. Sooo, I am thinking it really takes both women to be servants of Jehovah's to live under the same roof because the mans time and attention should go to his wife first.

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The first thing people think when they find a man is living under his mother's roof for a protracted time is that he is his 'mother little boy', a very diminuative state for a grown man, a put down.  

First impressions are often wrong, there can be very good reasons for living at home. Given that there could be very good reason I think it would still be a put-off for most sisters looking for a 'real man, a totally fictitious  character. A situation where you can't judge a book by it's cover.

I left home at 17 and have never returned for more than a brief visit. It is hard for me not to be judgmental in this situation, that is my error and when asked for my opinion I try to be non-committal. My wife says that doesn't work as my face tells my story.

 

Brother Bobby, just do what you have to do, it is your decision, if brick-a-bats fall, let'em fall, you can't please all the people all the time.

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Before coming into the truth, I was affected by the worldly attitude that singles should get out of their parents house as soon as possible. After becoming one of Jehovah's

Witnesses, I reversed my view of this. The woman you spoke to at work is NOT a sister and she was quite rude. I have never heard a Brother or Sister say anything negative about any

adult living with his/her parents. There are many practical reason for this, and it is nobody's business.

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In Mexico it's common for children to keep living at home even when they're older. They don't have the idea that they should leave when they are 18 or so. Even when they get married, many still live with their families if they can't afford to live on their own. They just add another room to the house.

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Bible times families stayed together or very near each other in tents.  If you learn affection in your heart and loyalty and aren't "westernized" with independance i don't really see the issue.  

Being lazy is a valid point.  But if the person is working on being stable; helpful; pays rent; useful; and enjoys the company of relatives.  Not sure what the issue is.  My point has always been if your gonna pay rent why not to relatives?  You want to put up with relatives or family you've always lived with?   I'm sure in the new system will will think of this differently.  And there are differences even today based on whether your westernized or easternized.   some cultures do stay in the same house and have no issues with it.

as far as relatives getting possessive....shame on them.  grow up.  8}

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I lived at home until I was 28. Some of the worldly people I worked with thought it was a bit odd, at first. Most of the Witnesses thought it was pretty smart.

 

Those who I worked with, once they got to know me, changed their view of ME living at home - they still may have thought it odd of other men, subject really never came up.

 

It was/is obvious to any who know me that I am "my own man", as the way some would phrase it, and that family is an important aspect of me.

 

I should mention, the only reason I moved out from my parents house when I was 28 is, that is when I got married. We got our own mobile home and moved it onto the my parents land. My Brother also lives on the same land. In fact, now that our parents are gone, my Brother and I own the land.

 

I should also mention, I have four daughters ranging from 26 to 33. Only the married one does not live in our home. The other three are still here. Thing is, why should they spend money they don't really need to when they can live here and we can help each other out. The oldest and youngest plan on remaining single and see no reason to ever move out - fine with us :thumbsup:

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My husband was 25 when I met him. He was a MS, lived at home and had a steady job. It didn't bother me at all. My father never left home till he was 24 and got married, so it wasn't anything strange or out of the ordinary to me. We've been happily married for 14 yrs and he had no problems with 'cutting the cord'.

Sent from my SM-G900P using Tapatalk

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As some mentioned, in some instances/lands it's a cultural thing.

But here in the United States, in general, it is not a cultural thing unless you're coming from a certain cultural.

But again, as was also mentioned, we as Christians cannot, so do not, adhere to the world's standards of manliness. Jesus while on earth was all man. Yet he certainly wasn't a brute, etc. And as far as living at home is concerned, it's all in the circumstances, situation.

One of the things though I've always subscribed to as far how much of a man a man is and how he would treat me is how he treats his mother. After all, his mother was the first woman in his life. If he respects his mother and not in word only, then nine times outta ten he will respect the other woman in his life. And that goes whether he still lives with his mother or not.

So the standards for manliness isn't and shouldn't be determined by living arrangements with mama.

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