Do you believe in soul mate? Did God intend people to find soul mates?

[carlos]

I don't believe in love at first sight or in soul mates. That sounds as silly Hollywood stuff.

 

Jehovah created every person with a different personality. Some personalities are more compatible than others. If you choose a person whose personality is very compatible with yours, enjoying a happy marriage will be easier. But even if you choose someone who is not very compatible, your marriage can still be reasonably happy if both apply the Bible principles for family life.

[daydream]

57 minutes ago, Bek said:

 

 

 

 

As for searching online, it is true that there are many options, but there are also many dangers. 

 

 

 

True, as Jenny M told me,  2 of her close friends married westerners and they were far from happy. Like what Brother Alan said, many flee to the West in search of a better life but instead faced a different set of problems. Many became very haughty and refused to associate with the local sisters. 

 

Thank you for your articles but being a very old married sister, I don't see how I could have benefited from the information.  . At least I can rue the fact that I got married too young (age 23 years) and got hitched to the 1st brother who was interested in me. After 41 years of loneliness, never found the soul mate I wanted and can only advise others to take their time to find their true love. There are all kinds of mental illness but the high functioning autistic ones are the most difficult to suss out.

Like what the motivational speaker Charlie 'Tremendous' Jones said, "Make a decision and then make it right; you have your whole life (and more, I hope) to do it in.

All the best to you. May Jehovah grant you all your heart desires. Take care

 

n.b. : Asperger syndrome (AS) is an autism spectrum disorder (ASD). It is a relatively new diagnosis in the field of autism, named in honor of Hans Asperger (1906–80), an Austrian psychiatrist and pediatrician.

Autism, including Asperger syndrome, is much more common than most people think. There are around 700,000 autistic people in the UK – that's more than 1 in 100

https://www.autism.org.uk/about/what-is/asperger.aspx

I hope I didn't bore you. 

Edited April 16, 2019 by MikkiSoo

[Bek]

Sister MikkiSoo, sorry to hear about your situation. I feel for you and hope God will give the strength to endure. 

 

By dangers I meant people who may pose as brothers or apostates who may take advantage of sisters. 

 

As for the two articles, they are meant for everyone. I just did not want to write two separate posts. 

 

 

[daydream]

Mikki Soo ng is my Doghter. A mixed toy Manchester Terrier/chihuahua. The love of my life. RIP. (2000 - 2016) 

 

 

[Bek]

29 minutes ago, MikkiSoo said:

Mikki Soo ng is my Doghter. A mixed toy Manchester Terrier/chihuahua. The love of my life. RIP. (2000 - 2016) 

 

 

Sister Anne, sorry to hear about your dog's passing away. I used your nickname because I could not see your real name on my phone.

 

I too like animals, especially dogs. By coincidence, I have been watching some YouTube videos about chihuahuas and other small dogs over the last few days. I am always surprised to see how clever they are and can sense our emotions. I think I would want a Schepperke for a pet, as it is larger and seems to be more into guarding and herding. I don't think it would be nice for a man of my size walking around with a teeny dog.  

 

As you know, there is a clubs feature on this forum and I wanted to set up a pets or animals club, but as a limited user, I cannot do that. I think there will be quite a few pet/animal lovers here who would happily join and share their stories/photos of their pets. I would be delighted to read about brothers and sisters' pets. What do you think? 

 

   

Edited April 16, 2019 by Bek

[SebastianJW]

20 hours ago, Brother Jack said:

If Jehovah arranged for us to have “soul mates” he would be engaging in predestination, and we know from our study of the Bible that Jehovah gives us the free will to make choices in life.

I'd like to add that Predestination or Foreordain comes from the greek pro·o·riʹzo (from pro, before, and ho·riʹzo, mark out or set the bounds). (The English word “horizon” transliterates the Greek word ho·riʹzon, meaning the “bounding” or “limiting.”)

 

Some missunderstand these words.

 

When talking about Jehovah looking AHEAD. Well, its interesting to find that he doens't GO into the future, see things and make a decision based on what he saw(not that he can't since he is The Almighty), the future is not made, one builds it. What Jehovah does is, he uses “Foreknowledge”. He can know the ways of our heart and our inclinations, based on our actions he can foreknow and foreorder what is going to happen.

 

https://wol.jw.org/es/wol/dsync/r4/lp-s/r1/lp-e/1200001549

 

 

[EccentricM]

On 4/14/2019 at 4:25 AM, Katty said:

So, do I believe in a soul mate? Not in the absolute sense, but I do think there is a person best suited for you.

This is how I see it.

 

I use the "term", but not in some mystical sense, or sense of "fate". Rather when I use the term, I mean "perfect match" or "the best person" for me to be with in the entire world. So I subscribe to the "ideal" that it promotes, but not that there is a "soul mate" out there "created specifically for me by Jehovah". So, there could be "multiple" soul mates! As it were.

 

It's why sometimes I can get a bit frustrated when I don't get anywhere and someone says "it wasn't meant to be". It's all circumstance, and sometimes timing and chance can be unfortunate for some. If I had "met that person 5 minuets ealier, I would have got to her before him" type of deal at times for people. As sometimes you just have a feeling or know through interaction, if things had been different "you" could have been in that relationship with such a person.

 

I think it's further reason of why I want to wait now, so I can truly get "all my options" presented to me, and with Jehovah's direct guidance and interaction along side it. He knows just what I want and who out there is exactly that individual I'm after, who would also like me in return.

Edited April 16, 2019 by EccentricM

[EccentricM]

On 4/15/2019 at 10:13 PM, Bek said:

Sisters are definitely limited because they cannot go around doing the same as brothers probably, depending on the culture, they would be seen as too forward, which might be seen as not very feminine. Personally, I would be put off by a sister who came looking for me

I'd love it, what a woman! 😄

 

She's all *slides in from nowhere* "Hey" 😉

And I respond  "Oh.. well hello yourself"   😉

 

😄

[daydream]

Interesting article though dated

Tuesday, October 01, 2002

The World Needs People With Asperger’s Syndrome

American Normal

By: Temple Grandin, Ph.D.

http://www.dana.org/Cerebrum

 

[...]

Asperger’s was added in 1994 to the list of disorders in the American Psychiatric Association’s Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders . Many of the symptoms listed there are similar to those of autism, but the severe behavior problems and obvious speech delay seen in autism prior to age three are usually absent in Asperger’s. People with Asperger’s often have normal or superior intelligence; their problems are mainly social. As described by Lorna Wing, M.D., the defining clinical features of Asperger’s are lack of empathy; naive, inappropriate, one-sided conversations; inability to form friendships; pedantic, repetitive speech; poor nonverbal communication; intense interest in certain subjects; and clumsy, ill-coordinated movements.

In my opinion, a child with autism has a true disorder that calls for a medical diagnosis. In my own case, my worried mother knew something was drastically wrong with me because at age two and a half I could not speak and had constant tantrums. In a young autistic child, speech development is obviously delayed, the child has little or no interest in people, and exhibits repetitive behaviors such as hand flapping or rocking. 

An Asperger’s child, on the other hand, has much more normal speech development and may learn to read at an early age. Asperger’s children may not be identified as such until they start having social problems at age eight or nine. They are the children who are “little professors” at four and five, but later become lonely, with few friends. Adults with Asperger’s run the gamut from brilliant scientists to unhappy loners on the fringes of society. 

 

LOOKING INTO THE BRAIN

Autism or Asperger’s may manifest differently in different people. Most likely, the core neurological deficit is a lack of social relatedness due to abnormalities in the amygdala and anterior cingulate. What will differ greatly will be the person’s area of talent, visual or nonvisual modes of thinking, and severity of anxiety and oversensitivity to sensory input.....

GENIUS IS AN ABNORMALITY

Writing on “The Geek Syndrome” in the December 2001 issue of Wired magazine, Steve Silberman states that autism and its milder cousin, Asperger’s syndrome, are surging among children in Silicon Valley. Baron-Cohen and his colleague Sally Wheelwright have found significantly more engineers, scientists, and accountants than average in the family history of children with autism. In my own case of autism, my family fits this profile. My grandfather on my mother’s side was an MIT-trained engineer who was co-inventor of the automatic pilot for airplanes, and I have several second and third cousins who are mathematicians. On my father’s side were many bankers and financial people. Baron-Cohen looks upon the milder variants of autism and Asperger’s as differences in cognitive styles. Normal people are good at “folk psychology” (social interactions), he says, and people with Asperger’s are interested in “folk physics” (how things work). 

... Norm Ledgin, the author of Diagnosing Jefferson, and I recently searched the literature to profile famous scientists and musicians who displayed traits of Asperger’s and found many well-known names, including Charles Darwin, Gregor Mendel, Marie Curie, Carl Sagan, Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart, and Thomas Jefferson.

Osborne devotes two chapters of American Normal to profiling Thomas Jefferson and the famous classical pianist Glenn Gould. Jefferson is described as pacing back and forth and constantly singing under his breath. His lifelong tinkering with his mansion Monticello was an Aspergerish obsession, and he loved mechanical devices, constructing and using elaborate dumbwaiters. Gould was much weirder than Jefferson, and, as he grew older, his obsessions worsened. He was an intense hypochondriac, for example, and collected hotel keys. In many ways a child who never grew up, Gould had an odd, stiff gait. Clumsiness and an odd gait are common in people with Asperger’s, probably as a result of immature development of the cerebellum and vestibular system (a finding of Bauman’s autopsy studies). In my own case, a brain scan indicated that my cerebellum was 20 percent smaller than normal; this would explain my own problems with balance. Despite Gould’s oddities, Osborne writes that he had an “uncanny knack for instantaneously seizing the structure of complex musical pieces in their totality.”

People with great abilities in one area often are poor in another. Einstein had a brain abnormality that some researchers think made his genius possible. According to Sandra Witelson, a researcher at McMaster University in Ontario, Canada, the parts of his brain that processed visual and mathematical thought were fused together. He was in the right environment to express his genius, however; today, he might be shunted through the special education system. Not to mention that a young patent clerk today would have great difficulty getting published in a physics journal    [...]

[Cushi]

18 hours ago, EccentricM said:

I'd love it, what a woman! 😄

 

She's all *slides in from nowhere* "Hey" 😉

And I respond  "Oh.. well hello yourself"   😉

 

😄

😂 A sister just saying hi wouldn’t be being too forward.

[EccentricM]

21 minutes ago, Brother Jack said:

😂 A sister just saying hi wouldn’t be being too forward.

Oh, but you missed the vital "vibe" of the "hey"...

[Hope]

1 hour ago, EccentricM said:

Oh, but you missed the vital "vibe" of the "hey"...

 

Exactly!  I know EXACTLY how those "heys" were said... 😉  😘

[Naturale]

On 4/15/2019 at 10:13 PM, Bek said:

Sisters are definitely limited because they cannot go around doing the same as brothers probably, depending on the culture, they would be seen as too forward, which might be seen as not very feminine. Personally, I would be put off by a sister who came looking for me.  

The only problem is in the truth for sisters is that if they don't try and talk to brothers then no-one knows they exist so they are kind of forced into it.  Still I agree with you that being forward isn't really very feminine.  At that same time if sisters don't make any effort then they can be seen as stand-offish.  Brothers may conclude they are not interested.  What is considered too forward?  What do men really want?  Do some men not want a sister they like to do anything at all?

Edited April 17, 2019 by Naturale

[Naturale]

2 hours ago, Brother Jack said:

😂 A sister just saying hi wouldn’t be being too forward.

How do bros want sisters to behave?  Just a hi and swiftly move on or stop and chat or nothing at all.  Would they prefer no effort made on the sisters part?  Is playing hard to get more appealing?

[Hope]

28 minutes ago, Naturale said:

How do bros want sisters to behave?  Just a hi and swiftly move on or stop and chat or nothing at all.  Would they prefer no effort made on the sisters part?  Is playing hard to get more appealing?

 

What I REALLY think is that brothers don't mind a sister who speaks first, is encouraging.... IF he already is liking the look of her or is interested.  He'd be delighted if the sister he was scoping across the Hall/Convention was looking at him, too.  It's if he's NOT interested in her and she makes a move that he's more inclined to think she is "forward".

 

Not unlike how sisters would like the brother THEY like to come talk to them.  If a brother is making all the expected moves to indicate interest we sisters seem to crave.. but he is not what we actually have in mind as a prospect, he's now just annoying. 

 

Love is a hurtin' thing... 😉 

[Naturale]

25 minutes ago, Hope said:

 

What I REALLY think is that brothers don't mind a sister who speaks first, is encouraging.... IF he already is liking the look of her or is interested.  He'd be delighted if the sister he was scoping across the Hall/Convention was looking at him, too.  It's if he's NOT interested in her and she makes a move that he's more inclined to think she is "forward".

 

Not unlike how sisters would like the brother THEY like to come talk to them.  If a brother is making all the expected moves to indicate interest we sisters seem to crave.. but he is not what we actually have in mind as a prospect, he's now just annoying. 

 

Love is a hurtin' thing... 😉 

This is true but ...  it's hard to tell if someone likes you or not initially.   It seems some men don't want sisters to be obviously interested?  How do you know how friendly to be?  How friendly is forward?  How friendly is backward? Friendly can be seen as desperate.  Seemingly unfriendly (as in trying to be mysterious) can be seen as not interested or arrogant. Smiling too much can be seen as lunacy.  Not smiling can be seen as misery.   Is there a standard set of ways to behave that work?  

It's not women that are complicated - it's men!

Edited April 17, 2019 by Naturale

[Cushi]

1 hour ago, Naturale said:

How do bros want sisters to behave?  Just a hi and swiftly move on or stop and chat or nothing at all.  Would they prefer no effort made on the sisters part?  Is playing hard to get more appealing?

I don’t like it when women play hard to get. I’m not into playing games. A nice smile is enough, maybe even a glance from across the room . Most brothers will react to that if they are interested. What I don’t like is what me and my family calls desperados, desperate women. Men can smell desperation a mile way, especially brothers and it turns most of us off. I don’t like needy women. I like a woman to be with me because she wants to, not because she feels like she needs to.

 

Speaking of desperados, my dad told me when he had a part on the midweek meeting, a sister looked disturbed because he mixed her name up with another sister’s and so he asked her for her name. She wrote her name and number down and gave it to him. When they met for service not even a week later, she ignored him and acted upset when he spoke to her, apparently because he didn’t call her. We don’t like stuff like that...

[Bek]

1 hour ago, Naturale said:

The only problem is in the truth for sisters is that if they don't try and talk to brothers then no-one knows they exist so they are kind of forced into it.  Still I agree with you that being forward isn't really very feminine.  At that same time if sisters don't make any effort then they can be seen as stand-offish.  Brothers may conclude they are not interested.  What is considered too forward?  What do men really want?  Do some men not want a sister they like to do anything at all?

 

23 minutes ago, Naturale said:

This is true but ...  some bros like a challenge it seems, maybe most do?  So how do you know how friendly to be?  How friendly is forward.  How friendly is backward? Friendly can be seen as desperate.  Seemingly unfriendly (as in trying to be mysterious) can be seen as not interested or arrogant. Smiling too much can be seen as lunacy.  Not smiling can be seen as misery.   Is there a standard set of ways to behave that work?  

It's not women that are complicated - it's men!

1 hour ago, Naturale said:

How do bros want sisters to behave?  Just a hi and swiftly move on or stop and chat or nothing at all.  Would they prefer no effort made on the sisters part?  Is playing hard to get more appealing?

 

41 minutes ago, Hope said:

 

What I REALLY think is that brothers don't mind a sister who speaks first, is encouraging.... IF he already is liking the look of her or is interested.  He'd be delighted if the sister he was scoping across the Hall/Convention was looking at him, too.  It's if he's NOT interested in her and she makes a move that he's more inclined to think she is "forward".

 

Not unlike how sisters would like the brother THEY like to come talk to them.  If a brother is making all the expected moves to indicate interest we sisters seem to crave.. but he is not what we actually have in mind as a prospect, he's now just annoying. 

 

Love is a hurtin' thing... 😉 

I think I have touched a raw nerve there. When I said I'd be put off by a sister who came after me, I meant a sister from a different cong who actively assumes the role of a brother in engaging and wooing me. Even if I liked her looks, that would still be a sign of desperation for me. It is just not a healthy start to a potential relationship. Being modest and feminine is one of the things that makes them more attractive. When a sister is too forward, it may raise all kinds of questions. 

 

There are many ways for sisters to catch a brother's attention, but in a more subtle ways like finding a common acquaintance who could arrange something like a lunch or picnic where she could meet the man she is interested in and see if he would reciprocate. Sister Anne earlier mentioned that these days sisters also use social media to attract brothers. That is also an option. 

 

If a brother likes a sister, he will most likely keep looking her way. She just needs to look at him in a nice way like smiling. He will come and meet her himself or try to find her phone number through someone else. 

 

 

Edited April 17, 2019 by Bek

[Qapla]

26 minutes ago, Naturale said:

How do you know how friendly to be?

 

Sorry, I can't help with this ... since I have been married for 38 years I do not know how men/brothers today want sisters to behave :shrugs:

[Hope]

18 minutes ago, Qapla said:

 

Sorry, I can't help with this ... since I have been married for 38 years I do not know how men/brothers today want sisters to behave

 

It's not likely that different, though.  Men and women have been the same since forever.  How did it go for you?

 

Besides, 38 years ago was only 1981.  That's not THAT long ago, imo... I was old enough to be interested in brothers at that time.  Granted, I was only 16, but I have memories  

[Qapla]

Actually, I quit looking around a little before 1978 ... we did not rush into marriage 

[EccentricM]

46 minutes ago, Bek said:

more subtle ways

Haha this reminds me of when I was about 17 (I think, no older than 19 anyway). And a young sister literally grabbed hold of me on the dance floor from nowhere during a congregation party (and I did not know her at all as she was from another congregation), and I was totally unprepared for it and totally inexperienced with women, so I only went and stood on her foot in the sudden shock, and then apologised awkwardly and then slid away and went back to dancing by myself. 

 

My uncle was tellling me she had been watching me a while and was talking about how "cute I was" and that she liked my dancing. 😄 But it didn't quite go to how she planned as we see.

Edited April 17, 2019 by EccentricM

[Cushi]

10 minutes ago, EccentricM said:

Haha this reminds me of when I was about 17 (I think, no older than 19 anyway). And a young sister literally grabbed hold of me on the dance floor from nowhere during a congregation party (and I did not know her at all as she was from another congregation), and I was totally unprepared for it and totally inexperienced with women, so I only went and stood on her foot in the sudden shock, and then apologised awkwardly and then slid away and went back to dancing by myself. 

 

My uncle was tellling me she had been watching me a while and was talking about how "cute I was" and that she liked my dancing. 😄 But it didn't quite go to how she planned as we see.

I never dance with sisters at gatherings because some will think you’re trying to marry them lol

[EccentricM]

2 minutes ago, Brother Jack said:

I never dance with sisters at gatherings because some will think you’re trying to marry them lol

Haha. That's just it, I was at the other end of the dance floor amongst others I knew! Suddenly I was ensnared and dragged off by this girl! 😄

[Hope]

1 hour ago, Qapla said:

Actually, I quit looking around a little before 1978 ... we did not rush into marriage 

 

 That's not really germane to the question, however... 😉