MARRIAGE AND AGE DIFFERENCE..

[Qapla]

I have some good friends in this very situation. She is 20 or more years older than he is. They have been married for about 40 years now. He serves as an Elder in the Congregation and she is a regular pioneer.

 

I have several friends where she is a few years older than he is - no problems so far.

 

I am 8 years older than my wife.

 

[carlos]

2 hours ago, Maria Keerie said:

Its funny how age to marry varies in different parts of the world and even different parts of a country. Where I live it seems its usual to get married very young , my own children were 18, 19 and 20 and I was married at 20 only 50 miles down the road in North London we have family who are very shocked how young many get married in this area as in the congregations there its usual to be around 30 .

This was true here too some years ago. Many friends used to get married at 18, 19 or 20, often quoting that scripture about better getting married than burning with passion. But most of those marriages ended in disaster. Too young and too immature. Well, my parents were 23 and 20 when they got married, but that was a different generation. Life was harder then and people matured sooner.

 

Currently it's common to see brothers and sisters getting married at around 25, 27, 30 and on. I'm speaking of Spaniards. In the Romanian field where we serve many sisters get married very young, often as soon as they turn 18. Romanian brothers usually prefer a wife who is considerably younger than them (with the silly hope that they will manage to mold them to their liking that way).

[Qapla]

Getting married in the late teens and early 20's is still fairly common in my part of the US

 

[Sister Twister]

19 minutes ago, carlos said:

This was true here too some years ago. Many friends used to get married at 18, 19 or 20, often quoting that scripture about better getting married than burning with passion. But most of those marriages ended in disaster. Too young and too immature. Well, my parents were 23 and 20 when they got married, but that was a different generation. Life was harder then and people matured sooner.

 

Currently it's common to see brothers and sisters getting married at around 25, 27, 30 and on. I'm speaking of Spaniards. In the Romanian field where we serve many sisters get married very young, often as soon as they turn 18. Romanian brothers usually prefer a wife who is considerably younger than them (with the silly hope that they will manage to mold them to their liking that way).

yes its funny how what ever is normal in the area becomes the thing to do ! we have a Polish and Romanian Group locally and I have noticed the girls are married very young and often to older brothers .

[➕👇 ꓤꓱꓷꓠꓵ🎵Tone]

 

 

 

...you are together forever..

So you will always be older - forever.

I have a mix in my family. Most married relatives and family members have the male older.

But love is blind. One couple married now for over 45 years, she is nearly 20 years older.

Another couple, she is around 5 years older (he was 18 when they married).

Both couples are super active in the truth, still together and weathered some storms.

The fact that the 'age-difference' question repeatedly comes up, makes me draw the conclusion = we think it odd. I'm not sure why we do, but you will be quizzed on your age difference for quite some time. (In the case of my relatives - decades).

Mind you, I get asked who is older in my marriage too. But the conversation stops when I say that I am older. With the other couples, it is followed up by 'how did you meet?' Not an offensive question, but you will feel you are being interrogated.

For some reason the world coined the term 'cougar'. It has a negative connotation. At what age gap this applies I am uncertain. But people may well think it - even if they don't say it.

Bottom line: It can work. But the question will always follow you...IMHO

 

 

 

Old (Downunder) Tone

 

 

 

[Dages]

My wife is 11 years older.

 

But yeah, 18 is too young... Let the baby grow up a little bit... This will train his patience

A good point for a husband.

[JennyM]

3 hours ago, Dages said:

My wife is 11 years older.

 

But yeah, 18 is too young... Let the baby grow up a little bit... This will train his patience

A good point for a husband.

In the new world, 11 years gap is nothing. 

[.Ivan.]

I was married in age of 24, my wife is 9 years older than me. We are married now for 22 years.
I didnt think of be marriage at that time, was too young but my wife (we were both baptized publishers in that time) she literally seduced me. I never had close contact with woman before in my life, except i kissed one sister my age when was 19, but she was experienced, she had experience in emotional relationship, before baptism she had 2 sad love stories, and in time she meet me, was 10 years baptized and without man touch too. We know each other about 5 years like brother and sister and we were going to ministry service often (she was full time pioneer)
I raised up without parents so somehow in her i saw my lost family and new life beginning. Strange.
There are a lot of strange life stories.

[Nelly Kim]

16 hours ago, New World Explorer said:

I know few marriages where there is considerable age difference (brother younger) and they are fine and happy,  but they are spiritually oriented brothers and sisters trying to apply Bible principles. 
Successful marriage depends on 3 fold cord, not age difference. 
 

But hey.... 18 is bit young in my opinion ...I would not hurry. 
How is he doing in the congregation? Reaching out or too busy with his secular employment? 

He's doing really well.. But yes, I agree with you... 18 is a bit young... I think we'll kill each other in future ( laughing).

[EccentricM]

There is a couple I know who have "at least" 20 years between them.

 

The girl was raised in the world (though first meeting her you'd think she was a sister even when she was a bible student), studied, and was recently baptised, about a year or two ago, she's in her very early 20s. I actually considered interest, myself, as she was both attractive to me , had a very bubbly personalilty and I presumed also very intelligent as she studied law in university. Soon as she was baptised though, she was dating a brother in his 40s-50s, but it didn't work out, cancelled the wedding a week before it happened over something.

 

A couple of months later after getting over a serious heartbreak, she dated another brother in his mid 40s-50s, and they actually got married (last year or this year I think) and appear to be happy as anything. She's youthful and sprightly, likes to travel and be on the move (so its for the best we never even got together, lol) and he's very young for his age mentally/personalilty wise, like a big kid , so it seems to work. 

 

 

My one fleshly sister married at 19 to a brother roughly 9-10 years older than her who had been a friend of the family for years, and they get on great to this day too, never have had any marriage problems in all the time they've been together (16-17 years).

 

But I know another couple, with 14-15 years between them, but they are very mismatched, don't really mesh well (its puzzling over why they married in the first place to be honest), and the age difference is striking now they are older (to the point where people always say "is this your mother?"), it doesn't help that she's old for her age personalilty wise, and he's extremly young and at times immature for his age. So its all about the individuals really.

 

Not anyone's buisness really, but at times certain age differences can raise eyebrows (mine included), but its true that in the new world, none of that will matter. I personally tend to stick within a 5-6 year range back or forth either way, give or take, depending on the individual.

Edited December 23, 2020 by EccentricM

[AH173]

I appreciate the concern the faithful slave put in these videos.

 

[Nelly Kim]

4 hours ago, EccentricM said:

Not anyone's buisness really, but at times certain age differences can raise eyebrows (mine included)

True...  It really can... And can turn out to be a test of Loyalty in the long run ...

[Hope]

On 12/22/2020 at 6:25 AM, Tortuga said:

You might consider how much difference the ages will make a 100 years from now, 500, 1000...

 

Age is just a number if you are together forever..

That's a nice thought but the differences must be dealt with *now*...and in imperfection.  If not, they may not make it to ten years, let alone 100.

 

I think it's rarely a good idea to fall in love with potential, hoping the future will straighten everything out. It doesn't seem realistic. 🤷🏽‍♀️

 

That said, I'm open to 15 years younger to mmmmmaaaybe 10 years older, preferably five. At my age, 15 years younger is still a mature man but 10 years older is pushing older age. He'd need to be healthy and have a young outlook 😉

[Sister Twister]

2 minutes ago, Hope said:

That's a nice thought but the differences must be dealt with *now*...and in imperfection.  If not, they may not make it to ten years, let alone 100.

 

I think it's rarely a good idea to fall in love with potential, hoping the future will straighten everything out. It doesn't seem realistic. 🤷🏽‍♀️

 

That said, I'm open to 15 years younger to mmmmmaaaybe 10 years older, preferably five. At my age, 15 years younger is still a mature man but 10 years older is pushing older age. He'd need to be healthy and have a young outlook 😉

You look so young , I feel like 15 years younger for you would be a baby lol 

[Amygdala]

Nelly, you do look young for your age, so maybe if we were to see what he looks like, and you together, maybe in a few years....? 🙃 J/k

 

But if the age difference makes you feel insecure, then it would probably always be on a sub-conscious level on your mind, and any insecurities you might have could be an issue for you...such as already mentioned...the intrusion questions...aging faster...headship...eyebrows raising...sounds like the answer for you is pretty clear... vs. someone who probably doesn't flinch, or even likes being different...   

 

Have to laugh at the "cougar" and "seducing" comments from the others above. I don't deny it doesn't happen...I know a sister who almost preyed on younger brothers...and was quite happy when she married (2nd time) to someone 10-15 years younger than her. It actually suits her and her lifestyle quite well...kind of immature...loves to think she is forever 30 and does everything in her power to stay young/youthful, although over 50. lol 

[Hope]

36 minutes ago, Maria Keerie said:

You look so young , I feel like 15 years younger for you would be a baby lol 

Thank you! It used to be.. but I'm 55 now 👵🏽

[Sister Twister]

4 minutes ago, Hope said:

Thank you! It used to be.. but I'm 55 now 👵🏽

Oh my goodness , what is your secret you look amazing !!!!!!

 

You need to set up a club for beauty secrets and give us some tips !

[carlos]

23 hours ago, ➕👇 ꓤꓱꓷꓠꓵ🎵Tone said:

I get asked who is older in my marriage too. But the conversation stops when I say that I am older.

But you look so young and cute in your pic!

[Hope]

11 minutes ago, Maria Keerie said:

Oh my goodness , what is your secret you look amazing !!!!!!

 

You need to set up a club for beauty secrets and give us some tips !

😂  Too funny... thank you so much! Good genes, I suppose.  My mother is 84 

[Sister Twister]

that's a good Gene pool mother looks 20 years younger

[Sister Twister]

24 minutes ago, Hope said:

Thank you! It used to be.. but I'm 55 now 👵🏽

I would say I'm 55 and lost my husband 4 years ago , but I have to say I couldn't imagine being bothered to get to know a person with a view to marriage again ! iv got to used to having a big bed to myself ! and watching what I want on the TV !

[➕👇 ꓤꓱꓷꓠꓵ🎵Tone]

But you look so young and cute in your pic!

I took that pic when I was 50. lol

Old (Downunder) Tone

[JennyM]

11 hours ago, EccentricM said:

Not anyone's buisness really, but at times certain age differences can raise eyebrows (mine included), but its true that in the new world, none of that will matter. I personally tend to stick within a 5-6 year range back or forth either way, give or take, depending on the individual.

Thats a better match... 5-6 years age gap. 

[Girl81]

I see nothing wrong with it.

[EccentricM]

7 hours ago, Hope said:

I'm open to 15 years younger