Cultural differences

[Amygdala]

Since living in Germany and traveling to different countries, I have noticed some pretty big differences in cultural norms, which I never knew about before.

 

One comes to mind that the English word “handy” means cell phone in Germany and is often referred to as that. Another difference is that wedding rings are normally worn on the right hand, and engagement rings are worn on the left until married. The rings are not diamond stunners, and generally matching bands. I can’t seem to adjust, so we wear our’s on the left hand. But after traveling recently to 2 Nordic countries, and knowing some from other European countries living here, wearing the wedding ring on the right hand seems to be the cultural norm.

 

Weddings typically go all night here, versus only til midnight or maybe a little past the late hours. Ever seen a mid-80 year old sister partying until 4 in the morning? Yep I have.

 

Also greetings are different. Please correct me if I’m wrong, but when I away visiting Barcelona, Spain I asked a sister “how are you?” in Spanish I guess using the formal way, and she looked at me as if she should explain her health history and was surprised I asked. Whereas in Canada it’s just part of a greeting. Same feeling I got when I moved to Germany, so don’t use those specific words as it would suggest serious interest in health issues, but rather “is everything good?” which seems to be more of a relaxed greeting. I noticed in an African culture, you can’t start a conversation unless you first ask how the person is doing, and also the family, children, and even if you had something important to say, you could not forget this step. Also using terms such as “ma” or “pa” if they are older, or calling them sister or brother before using their first name. Also you don’t look a person in the eye when addressing someone.

It’s also the norm in Europe, or maybe just here in Germany, not to respect personal space, or keep a respectful distance during conversation, and often people get very close to you when talking, or generally people standing so close to you at the check out lanes at the grocery stores that they often bump into you with their shopping carts. Now with corona virus, thankfully people are keeping their distance, though I still get bumped at at the check out lanes. But in general it’s normal to get up close and personal, whereas in North America you would keep about an arm’s length distance when speaking with a coworker, acquaintance, or friend. 

Another difference (last one for now) is people’s expect you to get to the point in Germany, so engaging in small talk can sound superficial or fake to some. Unless the conversation is really purposeful, you just don’t do small talk, albeit this I find depends on the person. Some are used to my chit chatter…🙃
 

So I thought because many on here are from different cultures, what is something new or different you didn’t know about when visiting or living in another country, or perhaps speaking to someone from another country?

 

 

[campanula]

While  living in Germany I was surprised of how little if no cultural differences Germans have as to Russians. I expected them to be much more German 😃 

[coony77]

I live in Germany, but I am Greek - so I have been comparing these 2 cultures for all my life. (Still haven´t found out if I am "more Greek" or "more German" ).

Some differences between these two cultures are:

 

• punctuality: While Germans normally are just on time, Greeks seem to have no sense of time at all. If you have arranged to meet a Greek at 06:00 pm, don´t be surprised if he shows up at 08:00 pm as if nothing had happened
• bureaucracy: I wish Germans had less of it - and Greeks sometimes just a little bit more
• manners: While most Germans are rather formal, sometimes "frosty", Greeks act very emotional and prefer physical contact (but I´ve realized the German brotherhood is behaving rather greek here 😄)
• loudness in public: That´s the most cringeworthy for me when I´m sitting in bars or restaurants. Greek people at the table next to you talk on a sound level that I´m sure can be heard even in Greece. Germans normally talk at low volume, although there are exceptions, of course (but those are mostly drunk).

 

Edited August 6, 2021 by coony77

[Amygdala]

On 7/31/2021 at 8:38 AM, campanula said:

While  living in Germany I was surprised of how little if no cultural differences Germans have as to Russians. I expected them to be much more German 😃 

Yep, example I can think of: dark, firm rye bread. 

[Amygdala]

1 hour ago, coony77 said:

punctuality: While Germans normally are just on time, Greeks seem to have no sense of time at all. If you have arranged to meet a Greek at 06:00 pm, don´t be surprised if he shows up at 08:00 pm as if nothing had happened

I have a RV with a Greek woman, who is the mother of a boy in my daughter’s class. She is fairly new to Germany from Greece, but grew up in Australia until the age of 14, so she appreciates speaking in English to someone. The couple of times we met at the cafe, she was there before me! She had successful clothing shops in Greece before uprooting and moving to Germany, so maybe being a business woman has something to do with it.

 

Growing up cross-cultures must be hard to define clearly separately. Something I think about regarding my daughter. 

[coony77]

There are always exceptions, Brittany 😊

[carlos]

Something I noticed in Poland as well as in a trip to the Baltic countries (Estonia, Latvia and Lithuania) is that people are polite but very cold. They don't smile, much less laugh in public. For example, in Spain a waiter will always have a big smile and will probably say some joke to make you laugh. In the States waiters use to be extremely nice, probably to earn a good tip. But in those countries waiters, hotel receptionists, clerks and the like always look as if they were upset. Even on TV, foreign movies are dubbed all by the same person and in a completely neutral tone. Some friends told us that's a consequence of their Soviet Communist past. I hear Russians are the same, a person who smiles or laughs in public is considered frivolous or stupid. (Yet the Russian brothers I have met in Spain always smiled and were extremely nice.)

 

Now I have a question for our friends from across the Pond: I recently watched a video about taboo subjects you'd better avoid when talking with Americans. Some of them were what I expected, such as religion, politics, sexual orientation... But it said it's impolite to ask the person if they are married or if they have children. Is that true? I understand that asking why someone is unmarried or why they don't have children can make the person embarrassed. But here where I live people love talking about their children and their family. If I have a new workmate, for example, one of the first things I will ask is: Do you have children? What are their names? How old are they? Are those questions really better avoided when speaking with Americans?

 

On the other hand, when you start a conversation with a Romanian, for example in service, one of the first things they ask is: What do you do for a living? How much do you earn? The first question is quite normal for a Spaniard, but the second one is very rude. Yet for Romanians it's perfectly normal.

 

Edited August 8, 2021 by carlos

[BLEmom]

46 minutes ago, carlos said:

Something I noticed in Poland as well as in a trip to the Baltic countries (Estonia, Latvia and Lithuania) is that people are polite but very cold. They don't smile, much less laugh in public. For example, in Spain a waiter will always have a big smile and will probably say some joke to make you laugh. In the States waiters use to be extremely nice, probably to earn a good tip. But in those countries waiters, hotel receptionists, clerks and the like always look as if they were upset. Even on TV, foreign movies are dubbed all by the same person and in a completely neutral tone. Some friends told us that's a consequence of their Soviet Communist past. I hear Russians are the same, a person who smiles or laughs in public is considered frivolous or stupid. (Yet the Russian brothers I have met in Spain always smiled and were extremely nice.)

 

Now I have a question for our friends from across the Pond: I recently watched a video about taboo subjects you'd better avoid when talking with Americans. Some of them were what I expected, such as religion, politics, sexual orientation... But it said it's impolite to ask the person if they are married or if they have children. Is that true? I understand that asking why someone is unmarried or why they don't have children can make the person embarrassed. But here where I live people love talking about their children and their family. If I have a new workmate, for example, one of the first things I will ask is: Do you have children? What are their names? How old are they? Are those questions really better avoided when speaking with Americans?

 

On the other hand, when you start a conversation with a Romanian, for example in service, one of the first things they ask is: What do you do for a living? How much do you earn? The first question is quite normal for a Spaniard, but the second one is very rude. Yet for Romanians it's perfectly normal.

 

I’m careful about asking someone if they are married. But that’s more due to the changes in what people value. Lots just refer to their “partner”. I never know if that means opposite gender or same gender anymore.  Asking someone if they have kids is pretty normal here. I haven’t gotten any bad reactions from that. 
 

What do you say when they ask you how much you make?!?  Yep. That would be so rude here!

[Hope]

In the US, people are likely taking cues from the business world - it's such a huge part of American culture, really. On job applications and in interviews it is illegal to enquire about marital status or children.  It's more polite- and correct-  to ask what gender pronouns are preferred than to ask if you have kids.

 

I generally don't mind sharing my own status but I rarely ask other's theirs, even in the congregation. It's just my habit, now.. 🤷🏽‍♀️

[Amygdala]

7 hours ago, carlos said:

Some friends told us that's a consequence of their Soviet Communist past.

Ahhh ok…lightbulb! Makes sense. Thanks for sharing.

[Amygdala]

Asking Germans about how much they make is a big no-no here, too.

 

About marital and family status, that is a touchy subject as BLE mentioned often “my partner“ is commonly mentioned in the world (not always)when introducing a husband or wife, and not just a couple who are together - whether a heterosexual unmarried couple, or unmarried or married homosexual couple. There is also the form “Ms.“ vs. “Mrs.“ or “Miss“ for women who prefer not to share their marital status. Asking if someone has children almost sounds like “when are you having children?“, and therefore the subject is avoided. But I think it depends and normally I will pick up clues from the person I am talking, too, if I do ask. But that’s after I have gotten to know the person for awhile.

 

5 hours ago, Hope said:

On job applications and in interviews it is illegal to enquire about marital status or children. 

Technically here in Germany, is not allowed to be asked, too. But it’s still somehow asked during a job interview. For the company I worked here in Germany, my boss asked me during the job interview if my husband and I were wanting to have children. I was taken aback, but said I didn‘t know. I managed to get the job, but was really surprised about the question. A sister in my congregation told me that at one job interview, the company wanted her to sign a contract that she wouldn’t have children for at least 5 years before they gave her the job! She never accepted. 
 

One noteable thing in Germany is if you are over the age of 40 and looking for a job, or 50 for some jobs, it is pretty much impossible to get hired. That’s for men and women. Early retirement or going on social assistance, or starting your own business is what some over the age have done. I have heard stories and interviews on the radio where older ones were bullied out of their jobs even. 

[Amygdala]

For those in India…I noticed when we were traveling on holidays, we met a couple of families and able to start small talk to try to witness to them. When I was talking separately with the wives, on both occasions the women mentioned how they were working in the European countries they were now living in, and back home they were university educated and had good jobs. It seems like status is important for the Indian culture, as it was a way of introduction. Is this because class or status is important? Or maybe just coincidence that they left India and are working prestigious or good jobs at their new countries? The one woman was quite proud to tell me she put her kids in kindergarten (daycare for North Americans) at the age of 1 to start her working career.

 

 

[Amygdala]

Also regarding jobs again in Germany, you have to include your picture on the front of your resume or CV. You also have to have proof of all schooling or certificates, degrees, designations, including showing class marks or grades, right from early on. 

[carlos]

7 hours ago, Hope said:

In the US, people are likely taking cues from the business world - it's such a huge part of American culture, really. On job applications and in interviews it is illegal to enquire about marital status or children.  It's more polite- and correct-  to ask what gender pronouns are preferred than to ask if you have kids.

Thanks, Hope. I understand why it's illegal to ask those questions in a job interview, but I fail to grasp how that works in daily life. I mean, if you have to spend eight hours daily with a workmate, it's difficult to just keep the discussion about their gender pronouns.

 

Where I live, women's lives usually revolve around their children (or grandchildren). My female work colleagues are always talking about their children or showing pictures of them. You can tell they are proud. If you ask about them those mothers will feel you take an interest in them. In fact that's my main subject of conversation with my workmates. Even in service, you can ask people "Do you have children?", then go on with an illustration of how you would or would not do something for your children. On the other hand, even homosexual couples can adopt children here or have some procedure to have them, so talking about children doesn't assume anything about their sexual orientation.

 

9 hours ago, BLEmom said:

What do you say when they ask you how much you make?!?  Yep. That would be so rude here!

A Spaniard is usually taken aback by this question, but since I am already used to it I use to reply straighforwardly and tell them how much I make. They won't believe me, anyway, because they are convinced that Spaniards are paid much better than them immigrants.

 

In fact, that's another cultural difference. Romanians are always talking of money. The days I commute to Madrid it takes me one hour trip by bus. If you listen to the conversations around you, people talk about their families, about tv programs, cars, women, boyfriends, politics, what they did during the weekend... But if there are Romanians, they are always talking about how much they make, or how much they pay for rent, how much someone owes them... I am not sure of the reason but they think about money a lot.

[surfergirl]

G'day friends. I'm from Australia.. My great grandfather was from Germany. like after the 2nd Worldwar, So its nice learning about cultural differences.

I haven't had the opportunity yet to venture outside of Aussie, 

I have loads of friends from many different backgrounds. I enjoy getting to know them, 

I've done a lot of traveling in the Outback. what I have noticed there's a different way of life & expressions just by going into another state.

Like no one waves to you when you are in the city. But when you are towing a campervan and heading Out to the Nullabor for eg. People wave to you  When you are driving. 

[BLEmom]

59 minutes ago, surfergirl said:

G'day friends. I'm from Australia.. My great grandfather was from Germany. like after the 2nd Worldwar, So its nice learning about cultural differences.

I haven't had the opportunity yet to venture outside of Aussie, 

I have loads of friends from many different backgrounds. I enjoy getting to know them, 

I've done a lot of traveling in the Outback. what I have noticed there's a different way of life & expressions just by going into another state.

Like no one waves to you when you are in the city. But when you are towing a campervan and heading Out to the Nullabor for eg. People wave to you  When you are driving. 

When I moved from Florida to the Carolinas I noticed the same thing. Here they would raise one finger off the steering wheel to wave as you passed. Don’t notice it much anymore but I bet the further out you go the more you find that. 

[carlos]

Something else I have noticed in the US is that it's easy to start discussions with people. Maybe not so much in the big cities where live is hectic, but in towns you simply start talking to anyone in the street or at a store and they will engage in the discussion. People are kind and are not afraid of strangers. I like that. People here used to be like that but no longer.

 

Another thing that is extremely weird for us is that people go everywhere by car. We visited some friends in a neighborhood in Houston and there weren't even sidewalks! Nobody walks in the street! This sister worked at a store just around the corner, not more that 3 or 4 minutes walking, but she had to go by car because the streets simply are not designed to walk. Where I live you walk everywhere. You walk to the KH, to do shopping, to the mall. Many people do not have a car. If you need to go a somewhere farther, you take a bus. I wonder what happens to elderly people in places like those when they can no longer drive. Here they have a walk at their slow pace or sit down and chat with their neighbors, but if they cannot leave their home without a car...

 

Some brothers who visited us from California were absolutely surprised that there are pedestrian streets and areas in Madrid where you cannot go in with your car. Some older streets are so narrow that literally there is no room for a car.

 

[EccentricM]

I haven't been around, but I can tell you what always seems to confuse non-Brits I speak to, the phrase; "alright" or "y'alright".

 

In the Midlands and north England especially, saying "alright?" is a greeting, it's not asking how somebody is. The way people typically respond to the phrase here is saying "alright" in return.

 

It's like a "hi, hope you're well", and the response is "hi, same to you", all wrapped up in the single phrase of "alright".

 

But when I say "alright" as a greeting in voice chats to people from other countries, all I get is confused silence.

 

😄

Edited August 9, 2021 by EccentricM

[EccentricM]

Another thing here, is people don't like to invite others into their home, it's a private place, and it's very easy to over stay your welcome.

 

Sitting next to somebody you don't know is frowned upon, and so you'll find on public transports, most people have one empty chair next to them, or will put a bag on one chair to indicate they don't want to be sat next to.

 

Very introverted country, even the extroverts will act in this manner, as it's seen as being in someone's space.

 

What do you say when they ask you how much you make?!?  Yep. That would be so rude here!

 

Quote

What do you say when they ask you how much you make?!?  Yep. That would be so rude here!

Asking people or even talking about money or income here is considered rude, too.

Edited August 9, 2021 by EccentricM

[coony77]

15 hours ago, EccentricM said:

Very introverted country, even the extroverts will act in this manner, as it's seen as being in someone's space.

 

 

[surfergirl]

16 hours ago, EccentricM said:

Another thing here, is people don't like to invite others into their home, it's a private place, and it's very easy to over stay your welcome.

 

Sitting next to somebody you don't know is frowned upon, and so you'll find on public transports, most people have one empty chair next to them, or will put a bag on one chair to indicate they don't want to be sat next to.

 

Very introverted country, even the extroverts will act in this manner, as it's seen as being in someone's space.

 

What do you say when they ask you how much you make?!?  Yep. That would be so rude here!

 

Asking people or even talking about money or income here is considered rude, too.

Gday Bro. Thanks for explaining. My husband's family is from England. My Sister inlaw is cool.

But if we want to visit her we have to ask. But never asked to go to her place. I've been trying to understand some of the British ways. My Grandfather traced back to the First Fleet when he was around.  I have noticed with some things my hubby is a little reserved.  It makes sense now.  Beauty mate. 

[surfergirl]

17 hours ago, carlos said:

Something else I have noticed in the US is that it's easy to start discussions with people. Maybe not so much in the big cities where live is hectic, but in towns you simply start talking to anyone in the street or at a store and they will engage in the discussion. People are kind and are not afraid of strangers. I like that. People here used to be like that but no longer.

 

Another thing that is extremely weird for us is that people go everywhere by car. We visited some friends in a neighborhood in Houston and there weren't even sidewalks! Nobody walks in the street! This sister worked at a store just around the corner, not more that 3 or 4 minutes walking, but she had to go by car because the streets simply are not designed to walk. Where I live you walk everywhere. You walk to the KH, to do shopping, to the mall. Many people do not have a car. If you need to go a somewhere farther, you take a bus. I wonder what happens to elderly people in places like those when they can no longer drive. Here they have a walk at their slow pace or sit down and chat with their neighbors, but if they cannot leave their home without a car...

 

Some brothers who visited us from California were absolutely surprised that there are pedestrian streets and areas in Madrid where you cannot go in with your car. Some older streets are so narrow that literally there is no room for a car.

 

Yeah I guess when you leave the city people are more chilled. People are way to stressed out in the Cities. We are in lockdown for now. It's so nice not having to get in the car and take kids to school. I've noticed there are new Estates popping up everywhere in my area etc. The streets are very narrow. No where to park. 

You sound like you live in a nice area 

 

[Thesauron]

You can ask Swedes if they are married or have children, but never ever ask them what they make money-wise. Money is a no-go area, unless you’re married to, or plan to marry, a person.

[carlos]

Romanians are typically very hospitable. If you go to any small town, especially in the north half of the country, the locals will probably invite you into their home and serve you some food from their own garden. We went to visit a sister and a few minutes later a neighbor came asking who we were and brought us some eggs. Then another neighbor came and brought us a homemade cake. In a couple hours half of the town had visited us and brought something.

[carlos]

6 hours ago, Thesauron said:

You can ask Swedes if they are married or have children, but never ever ask them what they make money-wise. Money is a no-go area, unless you’re married to, or plan to marry, a person.

Johan, I have never been to Sweden but I have been to Iceland. Are Icelandic and Swedish cultures similar? I tend to lump all Scandinavian peoples together but probably I am completely wrong.