A good joke

[Old]

Santa and Banta were coming up in an inlet in the motor boat when they saw another boat loaded with fish.Seeing as how their luck had been awful today, Santa asked the fisherman what his secret was. The fisherman replied, "Just go out to sea till the water is fresh. Then stop there and drop your line. You will get a huge haul of fish there !" Excited, Santa fired up the motor and headed out to sea. When they got a little way out, he told Banta to fill up a bucket and taste the water.Banta complied and said, "It is salty - not fresh!" So Santa went further out and told Banta to taste the water again after some time.Banta replied, "It is still salty!" And so they went out further. This went on for hours and every time Banta replied that the water was salty. Finally, it was starting to get dark and they were in the middle of nowhere, when Santa asked Banta to taste the water one last time.Banta replied, "But Santa, there is no more water left in the bucket.

And what color was her hair?  

[dilip kumar]

Santa and banta are gents name in India Br.old

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[dilip kumar]

A person had loose motion..

He hesitated to say loose motion word to the doc....so he explained to the doc in new generation style.

Doc..since morning unlimited free outgoing .New ringtones have also started.

No balance in my stomach.

If I recharge within one minute balance becomes nill.Doc can u pls disconnect the offer

[dilip kumar]

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[Tortuga]

Then Arun is the ___ of Meena's father.

 

Name

[dilip kumar]

Euro English(A comedy)

4 Steps to Migrate our Language from English to German?

The European Commission has just announced an agreement whereby  English will be the official language of the European Union rather than German.

  As part of the  negotiations, the British Government conceded that English spelling had some  room for improvement and has accepted a 5- year phase-in plan that would  become known as "Euro-English".

  In the first year, "s"  will replace the soft "c".. Sertainly, this will make the sivil servants  jump with joy. The hard "c" will be dropped in favour of "k". This should  klear up konfusion, and keyboards kan have one less  letter.

There will be growing  publik enthusiasm in the sekond year when the troublesome "ph" will be replaced with "f".. This will make words like fotograf 20% shorter. 

In the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan  be expekted to reach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible. 

  Governments will enkourage the removal of double letters  which have always ben a deterent to akurate speling. 

  Also, al wil agre that the horibl mes of the silent "e" in the languag is disgrasful and it should go away.

  By  the 4th yer people wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing "th" with "z"  and "w" with "v".

 During ze fifz yer, ze unesesary "o"  kan be dropd from vords kontaining "ou" and after ziz fifz yer, ve vil hav a reil  sensi bl riten styl.

 Zer vil be no mor trubl or  difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi TU understand ech oza. Ze drem of a united urop vil finali kum tru.

Und efter ze fifz yer, ve vil al be speking German like zey vunted in ze forst plas.

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[dilip kumar]

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[Friends just call me Ross]

A few old couples used to get together to talk about life and to have a good time. 

 

One day one of the men, Harry, started talking about this fantastic restaurant

he went to the other night with his wife. 

 

“Really?” one of the men said.  "What’s it called? 

 

After thinking for a few seconds, Harry asked,

“What are those good smelling flowers called again?” 

 

“Do you mean a rose?" the first man questioned. 

 

“Yes that’s it,” Harry exclaimed. Looking over at his wife he said,

“Rose, what’s that restaurant we went to the other night?”

 

 

Edited September 19, 2015 by Friends just call me Ross

[kejedo]

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Infinitely humorous.

[Ms. Piffle]

Another blonde joke . . .

A guy took his blonde girlfriend to her first football game. They had great seats right behind their team's bench. After the game, he asked her how she liked it.

"Oh, I really liked it," she replied, but I just couldn’t understand why they were killing each other over 25 cents."

Dumbfounded, her boyfriend asked, "What do you mean?"

"Well, they flipped a coin, one team got it and then for the rest of the game all they kept screaming was...'Get the quarterback! Get the quarterback!'

I'm like...Helloooooo? It's only 25 cents!!!!!s only 25 cents!!!!"

[jpcook]

Did you know that when all of the anointed are resurrected, the men will be resurrected first?

 

Notice how Rev 8:1 shows this: - 'in heaven, a half-hour of silence!'

[ChrisC]

Here is a good book to read:

"The Scottish Cloakroom Attendant" by Angus Mcoatup.

[Qapla]

I take it the book is a joke or a book of jokes ?

[bohemian]

It's a bit like the Introduction to Biology by Theresa Green. Or Falling From A Cliff by Eileen Dover.

[Tortuga]

I take it the book is a joke or a book of jokes ?

Hoot mon, look at the author..

[Qapla]

It's a bit like the Introduction to Biology by Theresa Green. Or Falling From A Cliff by Eileen Dover.

 

I have never read those books, let alone ever heard of them

[Tortuga]

I have never read those books, let alone ever heard of them

That's why they are in the "A Good Joke" topic

[Qapla]

So ....... I guess anything I have not read or heard of is a joke .......... interesting

[Tortuga]

So ....... I guess anything I have not read or heard of is a joke .......... interesting

Did you not get the joke about the books?

[Qapla]

Look back at post #242

 

I said I have never read or heard of the books and you said that is why they are in this thread .... so, by sentence structure, the sentence says they are in the joke thread because I have not read them - or is that not what you meant?

 

If not, am I to assume you don't say what you mean - or that you don't mean what you say?

 

 

 

 

 

 

Now, where did I put that chain?

[Tortuga]

Now, where did I put that chain?

 

Ok, I'll explain the joke and then leave before you hit me.

 

Fell off a cliff by Eillen Dover sounded out sounds like "I leaned over"

 

"The Scottish Cloakroom Attendant" by Angus Mcoatup. sounds like "Hangs My Coat up"

Edited September 27, 2015 by Tortuga

[Qapla]

Sort of like "Race to the Restroom" by I.P. Frealy

[Tortuga]

Sort of like "Race to the Restroom" by I.P. Frealy

Exactly!

 

Are you still looking for that chain???

[Qapla]

I found the chain - I just need to get the tractor cranked up

[dilip kumar]

A biker stops a young girl