A good joke

[kejedo]

What is it called when a tiny little bird activates your door-bell? A hum-dinger.

[dilip kumar]

I walked, then jogged and ran but but then she woke me from my sleep .

Sent from my C6802 using Tapatalk

[Musky]

I bought a rowing machine for exercise, but I would use it to row into the kitchen and get a beer.

[Tortuga]

I bought a treadmill, I'm still trying to figure out how to get the cats to use it so I don't have to get off the couch to play with them..

[Qapla]

We got a treadmill so we wouldn't have to take the dogs out in bad weather - somehow, it's just not the same

[Tortuga]

We got a treadmill so we wouldn't have to take the dogs out in bad weather - somehow, it's just not the same

 

Do you carry a plastic bag with you when the dogs are on the treadmill? 

[gayathri]

[30/11 10:57 PM] gayathri.c:

To

My Managers,

I'm not feeling safe in India.

Please send me onsite to any foreign country.

[gayathri]

Impact of Job Change...

One day, A taxi passenger touched driver on his shoulder to ask something..

Driver screamed, lost control of car, went up on footpath & stopped few centimeters from a shop

Passenger apologized n said : "i m sorry, i didn't realise that a little touch would scare u so much"

Driver replied : You don't need to be sorry, I'm sorry, its not ur fault, its my 1st day as a cab driver, i ve been driving a van carrying dead bodies from last 25 years..

[Tortuga]

[dilip kumar]

Sent from my C6802 using Tapatalk

[bohemian]

Why did A go to the bathroom and come out as E?

Because he had a vowel movement.

Edited December 11, 2015 by bohemian

[dilip kumar]

What did the grape say when a elephant sat on it?

Nothing, it just let out a little wine.....

Sent from my C6802 using Tapatalk

[Friends just call me Ross]

Actual sign seen in a Hotel in Tel Aviv :

 

If you wish breakfast, lift the telephone and our waitress will arrive. This will be enough to bring up your breakfast

 

 

 

[Friends just call me Ross]

Actual sign seen in a Hotel in Nairobi :

 

 

Customers who find our waitresses rude ought to see our manager

 

 

[Tortuga]

I figured out that I know only 25 letters of the alphabet, I don't know why...

[dilip kumar]

Based on your comments, i thought there are 28

Sent from my C6802 using Tapatalk

[ChrisC]

[dilip kumar]

doctor(talking to his patiant at a checkup): i have bad news and worse news.

patiant:uh oh! whats the bad news? 

doctor:you have cancer.

patiant:oh, gosh, whats the worse news?

doctor: you have alzhiemers.

patiant:oh, jeez! well at least i dont have cancer!"

Sent from my C6802 using Tapatalk

[bohemian]

I bought my friend an elephant for his room.

He said, "Thanks."

I said, "Don't mention it."

[pnutts]

I bought my friend an elephant for his room.

He said, "Thanks."

I said, "Don't mention it."

HIC :drink: -D  Don't be the Elephant in the Room!

[bohemian]

A brown paper bag went to the Doctor and told him he wasn't feeling well, he had no energy and was constantly tired.

The doctor ran a few tests and told him he had haemophilia.

"How can I be a haemophiliac, I'm a brown paper bag?"

"Perhaps your mother was a carrier."

[bohemian]

I was passing a cake shop yesterday when i saw a sign in the window saying, 'cakes 1 pound each'

I went in and after looking around i pointed to a huge cake in the display and said, "i'll have that one."

"certainly sir" replied the assistant, "that will be 10 pounds."

"but i thought they were a pound each" i exclaimed.

The assistant replied, "yes they usually are but that's ma dearer cake."

[Old]

I was passing a cake shop yesterday when i saw a sign in the window saying, 'cakes 1 pound each'

I went in and after looking around i pointed to a huge cake in the display and said, "i'll have that one."

"certainly sir" replied the assistant, "that will be 10 pounds."

"but i thought they were a pound each" i exclaimed.

The assistant replied, "yes they usually are but that's ma dearer cake."

Must be British humor, lost on me. 

[bohemian]

Must be British humor, lost on me. 

http://www.bbc.co.uk/food/recipes/madeiracake_73878

[Old]

http://www.bbc.co.uk/food/recipes/madeiracake_73878

That makes it much clearer. Madeiracake!

Now explain ten pounds, or is there something funny about $14.78?